“You mean until Skai manipulated a situation,” I huffed, in as much stubbornness as I could muster.
“Wow, Giselle.” Zane sat up from his position, which in turn made me switch up because I was laying on him. He then proceeded to get up off the couch altogether, gathering his scattered clothing from the floor. “I think you should get dressed so I can drop you off at home.”
Those were the last words he said to me, before we drove to my house in dead-ass silence.
6 | Giselle
Three days later…
Waking up in my own bed wasn’t a bad thing at all, but waking up with Zane, was always nice too. Really nice. I couldn’t believe that the conversation we had went so far left. And that quick too. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel some type of way. Why did he even overreact the way he did? It went from Kameelah and her uninvited guest, to family talk, to me waking up at home alone. Exactly, how again? Zane should’ve talked things out, instead of driving me home in silence. At least he saw me to the door. I didn’t expect anything less of him. He had great character. But I certainly expected more of him in the area of communication.
I knew what I wasn’t going to do—kiss his ass. Not in this lifetime. Whenever he decided to see the error of his ways, only then, might I be around to forgive the foolishness.
But maybe not.
In my mind, he had been extremely unfair with the way that he shut down. I wasn’t sure if we were actually done, or if this was some type of break. But I wasn’t going to dwell on it. For what? As far as I was concerned, as much as I enjoyed him, we hadn’t worked up enough of an investment in each other for me to go all out on a limb.
No! Forget that!
With no plans for the day, I thought I would clean up, wash some loads and then lounge around on the couch with some movies. Have a ‘me’ day. I deserved it. It seemed that I’d been on the go since that box and that lingerie. That box and that lingerie . . . I smiled, thinking about it. Life had certainly been an adventure as of late. An adventure that I would have never chosen for myself. Set in motion by my only child. Who would’ve known?
The only part of the adventure that I would trade, would be the other night. But whatever.
Thought you weren’t invested. Why keep revisiting the sore spot?
I turned on my back and looked up at my winding ceiling fan. Minutes later, it seemed as though the fan had put me in a hypnotic state, when my lids began to lower back to the place where sleep was.
But that plan was cancelled all the way out, when my cell sent faint vibrations rippling to the side of me. I grabbed the device, and automatically woke to a full state. I debated as it rang out a second time whether or not to answer. But don’t answer and you’ll have to answer later, I told myself. So, I picked up…
“Hey little girl. How are you?”
“So, how is everything with Zane going, Ma? Y’all still good?”
She knows.
Shit.
“Well, geez. Where’s my hello?”
“Trying to keep you from stalling,” she chuckled. “So, I jumped right in there before you could think. So?”
Why was I afraid of my own child in this moment? Her butt was invested, that’s why. Disappointing her was not something I wanted to do. Especially, after admitting that she had lost respect for me, due to the way I had mishandled myself with her father.
I decided to lie—for now. But God help me, if she already knew the truth…
“Zane and I are still good, Skai.” Pause. Wait to see if she blurts out, ‘Lies!’ When she
didn’t, I proceeded with my charade. “You asked that question as though there would already be trouble with us.”
And she was right.
“Mmm, I just know you. You like to get in your own way. I don’t want you doing that. And I don’t wanna be babysitting your situation, either.”
“Oh uhh-uhh. Babysit my situation?”
“Yep, that. I don’t want to have to do it.”
“You’re bossy, little girl. Anybody ever tell you that?”
“Yep. All the time. And I’m too old to be changing that now.”
“Old?! Girrrl, goodbye!” I guffawed loudly. “You’re a year over the legal age. Stop that madness.”
“Well, I’m mature. So, to me, that’s old. Because my peers are not in the same lane.”
“Yeah, I’m the last person you need to tell that to. Just don’t go thinking that because you’re mature, that you can come home with a man my age. That shit isn’t happening on my watch.”
When I didn’t hear anything in agreement back from Skai, my antennas shot straight the hell up, along with the hairs on the back of my neck. I swung my legs over the side of my bed and sprang from my bed to pace the floor, waiting for my baby to respond… with something that I could live with.
“Okay, Mama. So, here’s the thing. He isn’t your age, but he will be.”
I stopped dead in my tracks at my bedroom window, looking out over the street. “What?!” I shouted, my heart racing. “Repeat that, please! I don’t think I heard you right.”
“Yeah. He’ll be your age.”
“Skai…” I paused, trying to inherit a few breathing techniques. All I could picture; all I could think of was some damn OG trying to take advantage of my baby. Not on my fuckin’ watch! “I’m not okay w—”
“In about seventeen years!” she blurted out.
“What?” I gasped, around the lump forming in my throat.
“He’ll be your age… in about seventeen years,” she repeated, unable to stop laughing.
In my shocked and relieved state of mind, I did a frantic math calculation in my scattered brain, then blurted, “He’s twenty-five?” I managed to say.
The laughter coming through the phone was hysterical. While my child was falling out over her own bad-ass joke, I was catching my breath and waiting for my heart to stop beating like a procession of African drums.
“What the hell is wrong with you? That was not funny, Skai.”
“But it was!” she hollered, still way too tickled for my taste.
“I’ll get you back for this one.”
“Whew! That was hilarious. Mama, tell me this. What can I possibly do with a man your age? Except vet him for you, which I don’t need to do anymore. Because we already have Zane. So, yeah.”
“We already have Zane,” I repeated with laughter of my own. “He is special, ain’t he?”
“Why you think I chose him?” Skai bragged. “I knew he was perfect after I read his Curriculum Vitae. That thing was amazing! He looked good on paper, and even better in person. He doesn’t have kids, so no previous attachments. Y’all share the same profession, so you got that in common. I didn’t care that he was white. That was the part I thought you would take an issue with.”
If only she knew that race had just been the source of Zane’s and my falling out. Jesus.
“My mouth is literally hung open right now hearing all the sleuthing you did. You were really out here on some matchmaker stuff for your Mama.”
“Yep. Sure was. I wasn’t about to let this man have a baby, and try to rub his new life in your face. And I only heard about his child and his new hoe, on social media.”
“Wait, who are we talking about? Your father?”
“Yes, that person. Besides that, it was time for you to get somebody in your life. A person that was relationship material, fine, and had a good head on his shoulders.”
I liked how my daughter just glossed over the fact that her father was about to have another child. Not that I had questions about it, or that I was affected by it at all. But she minimized that situation way down. I wanted to laugh. But at the time, I didn’t know if she was really expressing her true feelings about it.
Somehow, at the mention of her father, my mind wandered. Not to him, but the person that I was with him. How I gave my full self to that person. How when he was done giving what little bit he was giving, he discarded me. This, from
a person that was at a point my best friend. That I had practically known my whole life.
“Oh God. Why did you go quiet, Mama?”
When I was about to respond to her question, the phone line went dead. By the time I was getting ready to dial her back, the screen lit up with her face. She was coming through on FaceTime.
“Mama!” she yelled out.
“Lord,” I sighed, rolling my eyes to the ceiling and back to her.
“I just know you are not over there trippin’ off of—”
“Nothing to do with him. If he’s happy, I’m ecstatic,” I said cutting Skai off mid-sentence before she ran crazy with an off-base conspiracy theory about me being upset about her father’s baby.
“I believe you,” she said. “That’s why I had to FaceTime you to make sure you were telling the truth! So, what’s the issue then? Why you go quiet on me like that?”
Sometimes it was annoying that she knew me so well. Meant that I always had her in my ear, in my business. Always. From the time she was a little girl, until now. Had my very own mind reader, and accountability partner. Because if nobody called me on my stuff, she did.
“What if I’m supposed to date for a while before settling down again?” I said before I could stop myself.
“You’re kidding, right?” Skai shot, her facial expression turning stern. She was pissed.
“Skai, I would still date Zane, but—”
“But what?!” she asked, her voice rising.
“Didn’t you just tell me, when you were here, that you watched me when you were growing up? That me, and how I was in that relation—”
“That relationship, Mama! Apples and oranges. Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re doing this! You already messed it up, didn’t you?”
“Skai! You’re not even trying to lis—”
“You’re right. I’m not. I love you, Mama. But I’ll talk to you later.”
Before I could protest, I was looking at a blank screen…
7 | Skai
“Knock, knock…”
Attempting to regain my composure, I released a low sigh before looking up to the area where my boss, Dionne lingered. My door had been open the whole time, and since I didn’t realize until now that I’d forgotten to close it, more than likely Dionne had heard much of the exchange with my mother.
How embarrassing.
“Hey Dionne.” I stood from my chair to greet her with a hug. “What brings you by?”
“Came to check on the superstar.”
I giggled at her compliment. She referred to me as ‘superstar’ all the time. It meant everything coming from her.
“I’m the one looking at the superstar.”
“Hmm,” Dionne mumbled, while pulling back and looking at me. Seeing the concern in her eyes, was confirmation that she had indeed heard some, if not all, of my mother’s and my conversation. As I walked back to my desk, she closed the door, then stepped further into my office.
“What’s going on, hun? You okay? I wasn’t being nosey, and I’m not trying to pry. I just heard something in your voice when I was walking past, that made me stop.”
“Even if you were being nosy, it’s okay, Dionne. If there’s any one person I feel I can confide in, it’s you.” I pushed out yet another exasperated sigh. It was a sigh of frustration. Being able to tell somebody that was close to me what was on my mind, actually made me feel better. So, I spilled. “It’s my mother. She just asked me if I thought she should be dating other people.”
“Other people? What happened to Zane Cabot? The perfect guy? I mean, he was literally perfection delivered to her doorstep. And yeah uhhh, he’s gorgeous.” Dionne took a seat in one of my guest chairs. “What else is there for her to want?”
“When you find out, please tell me. I just don’t get it. He’s everything that she needs. I mean, he got her to ‘engage’ at your club.” I chuckled thinking how mortified my mother was when she found out that I not only knew, but set up her dirty little deed.
“Honey, the 13th Floor will bring out the inhibitions in a monk. It continues to be one of my best investments,” Dionne boasted. “Might have to open a New York chapter. But somehow, I don’t think the people here will be as open to the magic; if you know what I mean.”
“I absolutely know what you mean.”
“But back to your mom. I’m so sorry for detouring.”
I shook my head and sadness set in. “It’s okay. Talking about it really gets to me. I love her more than the air I breathe. But it seems like sometimes she’s hell-bent on sabotaging anything good in her life. I blame my father for that shit. His punk-ass did a real number on her. But then again, she was young when he got to her, impressionable. And was well into her adult life, when he chose on her with another bitch.” I looked past Dionne and toward my glass door, then at her. “I’m sorry, Di—”
“Don’t you dare apologize, Skai. Don’t you dare apologize for loving your mother and wanting the best for her. Means she’s a good one. My raggedy-ass mother left us to start a whole other family. Now, that’s a tramp you don’t want as your incubator. Left my father to do all the work.”
Wow. Dionne had never told me that.
“Well, your father did an amazing job. You’re the shit, Dionne.”
“So are you, Skai. Don’t forget it. Now look. Your mom probably gave a huge chunk of her life to being a mom and a wife. She’s divorced now, and her only child left and moved 3,000 miles away from her. Let me put emphasis on the three-thousand. She’s probably in some state of transition and doesn’t realize it.”
“But no. I just think that she’s focused on him.”
“And I think you’re wrong. Did you think about the fact that she experienced this whole new way of life that she’s never experienced before? Skai…” Dionne said, with a tilt of her head, smiling. “She went to a sex club.” Dionne laughed. “Had she ever done something like that before? I’m guessing no. She had stranger sex at that club. Had she ever done something like that before? I’m guessing not. Baby girl, your G of a Mama is learning herself for the first time. Her wants, her needs… her boundaries! And because of that, now she might want to experiment—”
“Okay, ewww. Stop that right now.”
“What?!” Dionne roared in laughter.
“Not trying to hear any of that sex club talk. No. Hell no. That was meant to bring her out of her shell.”
“And she came out of her shell, alright.”
“Dionne, no. She is not about to make that a lifestyle.”
I pushed my chair out and got up to pace around my office. I padded past Dionne and over to my view. It was nothing like Dionne’s but it was there. So, I went to it. There, I got lost in guilt and anger. Sadness.
Before long, I felt Dionne’s hand on my shoulder. “Skai, I’m not saying that your mom is wanting to make that a way of life. I’m sure she doesn’t. I’m saying that she’s finding herself. And maybe she wants to find herself, before giving herself all over again. Maybe that’s the fear. Giving her whole self to something all over again knowing what the outcome was with the last one.”
“Dionne, she’s 42. This—”
“Whoa! I know you’re not saying that 42 is old.”
“No, I’m not. But—”
“There’s no but, Skai. Trust her. From all that you told me, her and Zane made a connection, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Let that play out. I think she’ll surprise you. You reacted to what she said, and so now she might feel like she can’t confide in you. You have to fix that.”
I began laughing, wiping away the mild traces of dew formed in corners of my eyes.
“What just happened?” Dionne asked, her eyes screaming for an answer that made sense. “Make it make sense, sweetie.”
“All of this made me think of role reversal! It’s like I just became the parent. I ran her off when she confided, and now I have to go back and smooth that over so she knows I’m here for her. Girl! Adulting is a job for rea
l!” I sighed deeply, then exhaled. This time though, it wasn’t frustration, it was realization—that I’d fucked up. “I’ll FaceTime with her later, so I can kiss the screen and make up.”
“Perfect.” Dionne looked outside at my view of moving cars and scattering New Yorkers. “We have to do something about this view.”
With that, she smiled and left my office to start her day. I also jumped right into work, eagerly waiting for the end of my work day so I could call my mother and make things right with her.
8 | Zane
“Mr. Cabot! Hello!” The svelte brunette, wearing a green, sleeveless business dress, waved to me from the front of the residence I had just pulled up to. She was eager, and probably because the commission she had made from this sale added a nice little chunk of change to her designer purse. “I’m so glad to finally meet you!”
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Craw—”
“It’s Miss,” she corrected, looking at me with smiling green eyes. “And you can call me, Marina.”
“That works. In that case, just call me Zane.”
“Great! Are we waiting for anybody else? A wife, a girlfriend . . . a friend?”
“Just me,” I told her, immediately picking up on the fact that she was fishing.
“Okay,” she shrugged, before running a well-manicured hand through her long hair. “That works for me.” She extended her hand toward a tall gated structure. “Shall we?”
“Let’s do it.” When she opened the gate and I saw the large courtyard before us, my excitement grew. This was something new in the way of architecture that I had never seen before. “Nice touch,” I said looking around.
Risqué 2 (Love in Sin City) Page 4
