by Leigh Landry
She definitely wasn’t screening.
No, he wouldn’t let himself think that. Even though he already had.
A moment later, his phone dinged and his shoulders relaxed as he saw Robin’s name with the green text bubble on his lock screen. He smiled at the mere sight of her name.
Yup, he was a goner.
But that excitement buzzing through him quickly faded once he read the message.
At hospital with Kel. Everything’s ok for now.
He didn’t know much about the rest of the band, but Robin had mentioned yesterday that their drummer was pregnant.
I can meet you in ten minutes.
No. Eric and Natalie are both here.
Matt stared at the phone for a good long while. No “thanks”. No “I’m fine” or “I’m leaving soon” or anything else. Just “no”. She had her people she wanted there, and she didn’t need him. Which he completely understood. He didn’t know much about them, but he knew he was no Eric or Natalie. Plus, they didn’t know him. Might be awkward for the rest of them to have a stranger hanging around during this.
Then again, what if she didn’t want him around because she didn’t want their “thing” to be common knowledge yet?
If he couldn’t even get her to see him as a friend, someone she could lean on for something like this, how the hell did he expect her to see him as a romantic partner? If she wouldn’t allow him to hold her hand in a waiting room, what hope did he have for any kind of intimate relationship?
No. This wasn’t about him, he reminded himself. This was about Robin and her friend, and if she didn’t want him there right now, it didn’t matter the reason.
At the same time, he couldn’t get that no out of his head. That no was glaring proof that maybe he’d been right all along: Robin had everyone and everything she needed without him.
Maybe that kiss was just a fluke.
-8-
“Did you see?”
Robin looked up from her computer screen to find Lauren’s big eyes staring expectantly at her. Robin had come in early to handle things at the store in case she needed to sit with Kelsey or swing by to bring her anything during the day. But it was almost lunchtime, and so far she’d only done a whole lot of staring at the screen.
“See what?”
Lauren pulled her phone from her back pocket, then tapped and scrolled with her index finger until she found what she as looking for. With a gigantic smile plastered on her face, she held the screen out. Robin squinted at the Facebook post containing a photo of her on stage along with contest details and instructions.
“Looks nice,” she said. Matt had somehow picked her favorite photo, even though she’d never told him she loved that one.
Lauren pointed excitedly at the bottom of the post. “Look how many shares it has already!”
“But I don’t have festival passes to give away.”
Lauren waved a hand in the air. “Details. We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Even if she had to pay for those passes, it would still be cheaper than outright paying for advertising, she guessed. All of this might as well be astrophysics to her. All the years she’d been running this store, she’d never gotten a handle on marketing. Yet another reason she was head over heels for her amazing staff.
“How’s Kelsey doing?” Lauren’s excitement washed away. “Heard from her this morning?”
Robin shook her head. She’d called Lauren last night to let her know the situation so she wasn’t surprised by anything later. Just because she was the newest member of the band didn’t mean she should be left out of the loop. “Eric texted last night that everything was fine, and that he’d rescheduled today’s lessons to stay home with her. No news is good news so far.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Lauren said. “Doctor’s probably just being extra cautious.”
“Probably.” Robin tried to mimic Lauren’s optimism on the matter, but it sounded hollow.
“So?”
“So…what?”
“Sooooo how was Saturday?”
“Saturday.”
Right. Her afternoon with Matt and his family and…that kiss. Saturday felt like a month ago. She’d been so distracted and overwhelmed with worry that she’d completely forgotten about their date for a few hours. Until he called. Then she couldn’t get that kiss out of her mind.
“It was fine.”
“Just fine?”
“It was…better than expected?”
Lauren made a pout, clearly disappointed with the lack of details Robin was willing to dish out. “Did you expect outright hostility at a child’s birthday party?”
“Eh, maybe less passive, more aggressive.”
“They can’t be that bad.”
“You’ve clearly never met the full Blanchard clan.” Robin loved most of them, but they tended to bring out the worst in each other. Especially when fueled by booze or cake.
“Well, I’m glad it went better than you expected.” She gave a sly smile. “Any alone time with Captain America?”
Robin narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you have customers or something?”
“You’re no fun.” Lauren waved a dismissive hand, but had a playful smirk as she left the office.
“Fun’s not my job,” Robin called out after her.
Fun’s not my job? Ugh, she was the worst today. The best thing she could do for everyone would be to take her foul mood out of the store, but she couldn’t think of anything more productive to do with her day. Nothing that would be helpful for Kelsey, at least. She could bring them some dinner later, but that was still a long time away.
Great. Several hours of replaying her fears from this weekend. Fears and doubt.
Because she’d settled on one solid fact when her brain wouldn’t shut down and let her sleep last night: she was right to think she and Matt didn’t have a chance. And it was all Eric’s fault.
She’d seen the relief and joy plastered on Eric’s face when he explained that the baby would be fine. It reminded her of that bliss blanketing Matt’s face when a gaggle of kids clung to his legs and arms. She couldn’t believe he would ever be fully okay with her decision to remain childless. Or at least she couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t regret it later down the line.
One of them would have to end this before it went too far. Of course, that responsibility was hers. It always fell on her with the Blanchards.
But she was too emotionally wiped to deal with that today, and she still owed him thanks for all he’d done for the band. The truth bomb could wait another day or two.
She picked up her phone to call him.
“Hey, Matt. Lauren just showed me the contest post. It’s great. Thanks so much.”
“No problem, glad you like it,” he said. “Do you like the photo I picked for it?”
“I do. Actually, it’s one of my favorites.”
“Mine, too.” He paused for a moment. “Hey, I’m not far from you. Can you meet me outside in like two minutes? I have something I want to show you.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.”
Matt’s voice rose with excitement as he explained that he’d meet her in the parking lot shortly and hung up. Robin had no idea what he wanted to show her. More posts or plans or schedules, probably. More things her brain couldn’t handle right now.
She made a quick trip to the restroom before heading up front, then stepped outside into the gorgeous sunshine and crisp spring breeze just as Matt’s car pulled into one of the front parking spots. He waved her over to the passenger side, where she entered and sat in the seat beside him. The car was still running, and the windows were rolled halfway down, allowing that delicious fresh air to flow right through the car.
“So what did you want me to see?” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, a hot tongue slobbered along her cheek, and she nearly jumped straight through the roof of the car.
“Someone didn’t get a chance to say hi Saturday.”
Robin laughed and turned to
scratch the sides of the giant lab’s happy face. “Hey, Linus. I missed you too, buddy.”
The last time she’d seen Heidi’s dog, it was coated in mud and kids and joy. Over the years she’d been part of that family, she had grown to love Heidi’s dog almost as much as her kids. Maybe more. She’d even helped Heidi name him when she’d brought him home from the shelter. Linus, because he always carried one blanket or another everywhere he went. She peered at the back seat and spied the purple, princess-crown-patterned, hole-filled scrap of fleece he favored these days.
“Heidi dropped him off at the groomer this morning, then she had to pick up one of the kids sick from school. Since Doug left to go offshore yesterday, I offered to pick this guy up for her.” He shifted to scratch Linus’s shoulder. “I know this week is stressful, and I remember how much you used to like hanging with Linus, so I thought maybe you could use a little canine therapy on my way to drop him off.”
Robin’s heart swelled as she stared into those gray eyes of Matt’s. She had never in her life met a kinder, more considerate human being. “Thank you. He’s exactly what I needed.”
But while Linus might be what she needed, this was even more proof that Matt was someone she didn’t deserve. Or, at the very least, proof that Matt deserved someone better. Someone who could give him everything he ever wanted.
“Hey, what are you doing tonight?” he asked.
No matter how much she wanted to, she really could not go out with him again. Not knowing she needed to end this. “Work.”
“What time does the store close?”
“It’s festival week. We’re running a big sale to make room for inventory. Got new stuff in I need to check on before we put it out. Tons of traffic in here even before it kicks off later this week.”
“Well, what about drinks after work tomorrow? Or Wednesday night?”
Hope propelled every word. The same hope she’d heard from men before, waiting for her to choose them over her business. Wasn’t gonna happen. Men came and went, this store was hers. She’d raised it and nurtured it, and she wasn’t about to bail on it now. For anyone.
“I’m gonna be exhausted, and I’ll have a long day Wednesday, too.”
“Thursday evening? We could catch the opening ceremony.” Frustration was edging into his tone now, even though his expression was still light and open.
“Rehearsal.” She didn’t want to get into the whole thing with Kelsey right now. Didn’t want to give a voice to the idea that she might not be able to make the gig. Kel had called up a friend to be on standby in case the doctor didn’t clear her, and they were paying the guy to sit in on rehearsal Thursday as a backup plan. But it wouldn’t be the same without her, and Robin couldn’t bear speaking those words. Didn’t want to tempt the universe. “It’s just a bad week.”
“Yeah, I get it. I’ll check in with you later this week to see if anything’s changed. Maybe you can squeeze in lunch or drinks.”
“Maybe,” she lied. She turned to let Linus kiss her goodbye, then she gave Matt a sincere smile, trying to hide the sadness burning a hole in her stomach. Not regret, but some equally ill-fated cousin of an emotion. “Thanks for the canine therapy. You’re the best.”
“Hope the rest of your day goes well,” he said as she closed the car door and waved goodbye.
His voice was light and positive, but she could see the disappointment and confusion at her reluctance to commit to more time together. He didn’t really get it. Not yet.
Matt wanted a partner. A family. Someone to kick back with after work. Someone who wouldn’t be distracted all the time. Someone less driven. Less…Robin.
He’d realize that soon enough and get bored and move on. They all did.
-9-
Matt stopped at the edge of the parking lot, waiting for traffic to clear. He’d just finished lunch at his favorite new place, a little Indian cafe downtown. He’d hoped to take Robin with him, but he understood how busy this week was for her with the festival officially opening tomorrow night.
She’d made it clear on Monday, when he’d stopped by with Heidi’s dog, that she wouldn’t have time for hanging out. Still, he’d checked in this morning to see if she wanted to grab a bite with him anyway—a midweek break. But no luck. He wished there was some way he could help, to ease her stress just a little.
Then he thought of something. He made a right turn out of the parking lot instead of a left leading back to his office.
Fifteen minutes later, he walked into Vermilion Printing & Gifts with a black-and-gold mocha and a bag containing a giant chocolate chip pecan cookie, both from a local coffee shop a few blocks from her store.
“Is Robin around?”
The young woman behind the front counter gave him a bright smile. He’d seen her before in the store, but didn’t remember her name. He was pretty sure she was also the new fiddle player in Robin’s band. “She’s out. Lunch.”
“Oh.” He failed to hide his disappointment and confusion, but the woman was still grinning at him. “Are you in the band also?”
She nodded and held out her hand. “Lauren.”
“Matt.” He shook her hand. “I’m…” Well, he wasn’t quite sure what he was. Especially if Robin was blowing him off. For whatever reason. In that case, it didn’t make much sense to introduce himself as anything in particular. He held up the bag and drink. “Can you give her these when she gets back?”
“No problem.” She took the items and walked around the counter. “Sure you don’t want to wait and give them yourself? She shouldn’t be long.”
“No,” he said. “No, that’s fine.”
She shrugged and said, “I’ll put them on her desk.”
“Thanks.” He waved and headed for the front door, holding his head high, even though he felt about as low as the doormat with the music notes on it.
Why hadn’t she just told him she didn’t want to go to lunch, instead of lying that she was too busy? She clearly had time to go out, and he would have met her anywhere. Hell, he had even offered to bring lunch to her and they could have eaten in her office. She’d said she was too busy even for that. Robin was one of the most up-front people he’d ever known. He couldn’t figure out why she’d lie about something like that.
When he stepped outside into the bright sunshine, he spotted Robin standing beside her car…along with the obvious reason she’d lied about lunch.
The guy standing with her had broad shoulders and muscular, tattooed arms bulging out of his tight black T-shirt. He had shoulder-length hair in need of a good washing, but he was clean-shaven and his smooth, tan skin practically glowed in the sunlight. His stance carried a casual coolness as he spoke with Robin.
Definitely a musician. Matt knew the type after all those years around Dustin and his friends.
Definitely the reason Robin blew him off.
The guy took a step backward, beaming at Robin and inching away from her car, presumably toward his own. Matt turned and lowered his head before they noticed him and double-timed to his own truck on the far end of the parking row in front of the building.
He kept his head down, but snuck a glance at the front door just as Robin went inside. A wave of nausea bubbled up from his gut. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to be the kind of guy who called to ask why she’d lied to him. The kind of guy who demanded answers. Because he deserved answers. He deserved the truth.
But he wasn’t that guy, and if he was really being honest with himself, he didn’t truly want to be that guy. He wanted Robin to want to give him the truth and respect and love he had for her. But he couldn’t force her feelings. He wasn’t that naive or deluded.
Plus, she really did have a busy week. Focusing on this upcoming gig was important to her. The last thing he wanted to do was insist that she explain her feelings or try to guilt her into wanting to be with him. Leaving that coffee was going to be bad enough.
After she disappeared inside the store, Matt drove away. Feeling sorry for himself wouldn’t cha
nge a damn thing. He’d known better than to believe he had a shot with Robin, and yet he’d set himself up for disappointment anyway. He’d foolishly allowed himself to believe that he could make her happy. That he had something, anything, to add value to her life.
But he was done with the delusions. He had to accept once and for all that their little experiment was over.
-10-
“Well,” Robin said. “I guess we’ll run it through again.”
The whole studio fell silent. Behind her, Eric cleared his throat.
Robin knew she was supposed to feel guilty for snapping, but the band didn’t have time for guilt. This gig was in two days.
“Everyone out.” Natalie’s voice was deathly flat. “Fifteen-minute break.”
“We don’t have time for—”
“Fifteen minutes,” Natalie repeated, while staring her down.
Lauren and Eric shuffled out of the studio without a word, the new drummer, Dale, following behind them with his head down. In addition to being a friend of Kelsey’s from college, he also worked part-time with Shane at the music store and taught lessons with Eric at the music school. They all vouched for him, and Robin had had high hopes when they met yesterday to give him the music. And he was a pretty good drummer, she supposed. But pretty good wouldn’t cut it with only one rehearsal before their biggest gig.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Natalie asked the second the room cleared.
“This guy can’t keep a steady rhythm and you’re asking what’s wrong with me?”
“He’s fine. You’re the one who’s all over the damn place.” Natalie’s face softened. “Take a breath.”
Robin opened her mouth to snap back, but inhaled as commanded instead. Natalie was abrasive and pulled no punches. Ever. But Robin found that oddly comforting. She always knew exactly where she stood with Natalie. No guessing. If Natalie was angry with you, you knew it. If she loved you, she loved you fiercely. If you needed a good, solid reality check…
