by Tara Brent
Having got over almost running someone down, my thoughts turn back to my son. He’s only five yet it feels like he’s been in my life forever, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. He loves his mommy like crazy, and, I love him back just as much. There’s nothing quite like being a mom. Our life together is full of unorganized chaos. We’re like two peas in a pod, neither one of us with much in the way of common sense. If it wasn’t for mom, I don’t know how we’d both get by. She’s an angel in disguise, that’s for sure. I hope she coped with Callum okay, last night. She’s a shining star and I wouldn’t be able to go to work without her. I’ve kept my hours part-time so I get to spend time with my son, but it’s a struggle for us all.
I pull onto my street and park up on the driveway, once again we arrive home safe and sound. As I take the keys out of the ignition, I pat Dora’s dashboard to let her know how much I love her too. For sure, I love my car, my son and my mom, yet still, I feel that something's missing in my life.
It could be my pa. We lost him a couple of years ago and it left a gaping hole for me and mom. He was my pillar when I was pregnant. As usual, I was totally lost in my chaotic life, as everything took a strange turn of events. I knew from the day I found out I was having a baby that life would be very different. My pa, well, he made sure I was never down. He loved being a grandpa. Yeah, I miss him. That’s what I must be pining for. Although he was in a lot of pain towards the end, so it was a relief when he passed. Whilst losing my dad had left a huge hole, I'm sure that’s not all that’s missing from my life.
Calvin’s Challenge
“I’m surprised you even bother to turn up for these meetings anymore, Calvin,” Ethan says to me, as he refills our wine glasses. “Aren’t you like the CEO and the president of Luca Inc. these days? I lose track of everyone’s titles.”
“I miss being on the front line, Ethan, and besides, this was a huge contract, how could I not be there?” I reply, smiling at Mia, his wife. She's struggling to fit her large belly into the dining chair. Their baby looks like it might be joining us all at any moment. “Anyway, haven’t you got more important things to be fretting over, than whether or not I attend a meeting?” I say, pointing my glass over at Mia’s swelling belly.
“Well if I can’t celebrate my little bro's success at negotiating another million dollar contract, then what’s the point of it all?” Ethan says while raising his glass in a toast. “Investment is my kid’s future, so I salute you.”
“Yeah, I still get a kick outta hard negotiations" I respond, between mouthfuls of Mia’s delightful home cooking. Not that you can call it home cooking; Mia is a celebrity chef with her own TV show. "This was one hell of a deal.”
We finish our meal with much laughter and banter. Mia and Ethan disappear to clean up the pots. Something I always let someone else do. I'm not much of a homemaker. So, I take the alone-time to stand in front of the wall-sized window of their new penthouse apartment. They've not lived here long as it's a new-build called Hayson Tower. I observe the twinkling red and white lights in the evening traffic as they all snake over the Golden Gate Bridge. How many times I've crossed over that bridge in my lifetime? Too many to count. Further back the sun slips down below the horizon, bathing the bay in a fiery golden orange. The water looks calm, like shimmering glass.
Turning away from the window I look around their new apartment. It’s full of fine expensive furniture and accessories. I often ask myself why we buy all this luxury. Taking a seat on the pure-white Fabio cinema couch, I can see it hardly ever gets used. It looks classy and feels soft as I run my hand along the opulent leather. Once they have children, I’m not sure how practical this couch will be. It’s much the same in my place as well. I have a luxuriously furnished home with pieces from the best designers. Yet, I more or less only ever use one room. This is not where I ever thought I’d end up.
Mia comes out of the kitchen and sits next to me. She takes my hand in her slender fingers. She's like a big sister I never had and I love her as much as my two brothers. I'm the youngest of three but I'd say I'm the clever one too.
“You look deep in deep thought, Calvin," her soft voice whispers. "You in need of a sister-hug?” She asks, resting her head of long dark hair on my shoulder.
Ethan comes and sits beside us. As Mia turns to her husband, I stand up again and return to the huge window. It pulls me in like a magnet as I’m mesmerized by the stunning view. There's something calming about watching all the city lights in the darkness of night. Though, a pang of jealousy hits me as I see the reflection in the glass of the two people behind me, who are madly in love with each other. Mia has her legs draped over Ethan's knees, and he's massaging her feet. They look good together. Whenever I see them together, I always feel that something’s missing from my life. Not that I want marriage. I couldn’t imagine having only one woman in my life. What about when you fall out! You can’t simply separate and find another date. Nope, that’s not for me. I’m not a one-woman kinda guy.
“Who’s the latest lucky lady, bro?” Ethan asks me. “Saw you with a redhead the other night. You got a weakness for redheads?
I don’t reply. Instead, I give him a brave smile. It's well known that I'm a lady’s man, though it isn’t something I brag about, not even to my family. That wasn’t why I was silent though. The fact that I’d been thinking about a particular redhead I'd dated when studying Electrical Engineering at Stanford, seemed really weird. That graduation party was the best night of my life. Typical of me, I was wrapped up in my own self-importance. No wonder the relationship fizzled out. The fact that I can remember her name says a lot about her. She was a keeper but I didn’t know it at the time.
“We should match him up with someone who’s doesn’t know he’s a rich playboy," Mia jests. "Someone who doesn’t move in his circles. It would be interesting to see how he copes,” she teases. “What do you say, Calvin? Could you cope with dating a girl who's struggling with life and wants you for you, and not your money?”
Mia had hit on a sore point. My brothers, Ethan and Nico, all became millionaires from the sale of our start-up company. In the beginning, we produced specialist computer hardware. We built it up from a small venture in our parent’s garage, testing electronic equipment. Then we moved on to specialize in data storage as we invested. Now, we own one of the biggest technology corporations in a global network of companies. Yet despite all my wealth, I'm not content with life.
At the age of 30 years old, I’ve had it all. Women, fast cars, yachts, and planes, but I still feel that something's missing.
“Sure, why not?” I agree as I turn around and raise my glass to the challenge. “You know that whoever you have in mind, I’ll eat her alive.”
“Oh, that is a challenge that I must take on,” Mia retorts as she sits up straight, looking excited. “I could do with something to keep me occupied when this little one enters into our lives. You, brother-in-law, are about to fall in love, I guarantee it.”
“Whoa there Mia,” Ethan realizes the seriousness of our pact. “My brother does not have a heart. You’ve seen the pile of women he rejects. He loves and leaves them. I hope you’re not thinking of anyone we know, he'll break her heart.”
“I haven’t got anyone in mind yet, but I’ll be working on it,” she replies with a smug smile.
Standing, she picks up her glass of mineral water and clinks it with my wine glass.
“We are on, brother," she says, staring into my eyes with the anticipation of winning. "Prepare to have your own heart broken,”
“Erm, she has to be below my usual standards, remember, that’s part of the deal,” I say, to wind her up some more.
“I know, I know,” she nods. “That’s why I need some time to work on it. I'm ashamed to admit I don't move in the poorer circles. But, mark my word, I’m going to change your life around.”
Of course, we all laugh but secretly I hope that she means it. Somewhere in my comfortable life, I’ve gone wrong. Something’s left me
empty inside. It's my hope that Mia can help me fill that emptiness.
Chapter 2
Hot Chocolate Cuddles
“I’m home, mom!” I shout out as I enter the door and head straight down the hallway to the kitchen.
Always when I get home, I head to the kitchen to make myself a warm, soothing hot chocolate. It helps me wind down after the drive home. I know mom will be up because she’s always been an early riser. She’ll be sitting in the dining room reading her newspaper, much the same as she has for as long as I can remember. I've tried to get her to read the news on her computer but she’s too set in her ways. Call her old fashioned if you will, but I wouldn’t have my mom any other way. I love her dearly.
The dining area is set up in the large glass conservatory leading from the main living room. Mom will want to greet me, so she’ll join me as I make my habitual hot chocolate before going to bed.
“Hi, Tiffany, sweetie.” I hear mom’s light voice as I put the pan full of milk on the stove top and turn on the heat. “You had a busy shift?” she asks as I turn around to hug her.
“Same as usual,” I reply, placing three heaped teaspoons of drinking chocolate into my cup. “I’ll come to join you, mom. Go back to your paper.”
“I’m on the sofa, it’s a bit chilly in the dining area. The fog's not lifted yet,” she replies, hating the morning chilly fog of San Francisco.
Within minutes I'm sitting next to mom on the small sofa, and we’re snuggled side by side.
“How’s my little fella been, mom?” That’s always my first question but I know all’s been well otherwise she would have phoned me.
“Went to bed fine but then I heard him walking about around midnight,” she tells me.
“Oh, that’s unusual,” I say, raising my eyebrows. Callum is usually a solid sleeper, like his mother.
“Yes, it turned out he’d wet his bed and he was most upset over it,” she explains to me.
“Wow, he hasn’t done that in at least a year,” I felt a little shocked.
“Oh, it’s all down to the changes he’s going through, Tiffany,” my mom said softly, putting her arm around my shoulders. “Going from pre-school to kindergarten is a big thing for a child so young. Give him time, he’ll soon settle.”
“But he loves it there mom why would that disturb him so much?”
“I don’t know sweetie. Could be that you both need a break. We should think about going to your dad’s cabin by the lake,” she suggests.
I had some amazing vacation memories there, but it was my pa that made that place so special. I’m not sure how it will be without him.
“I don’t know mom,” I answer, a bit reluctant.
“I know, I know, it won’t be the same without your pa, but we have to make some good memories for Callum too.”
“Yeah, you’re right, mom, as always,” I agree, as I take a sip of my hot chocolate
“You always look so tired, you work far too hard,” she says, concern etched on her face. “I wish you’d go out more, you know what they say all work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.”
“I go out every day, mom. Besides, when I’m not at work I want to be with Callum.”
“At 29 years old, you aren’t getting any younger, young lady,” she chirps.
“What? Are you saying I’m an old maid?” I tap her on the arm that holds me close to her.
We laugh together. I can say anything to my mom and she can say anything to me, and we’re both okay with it. That’s how we are. I'm lucky to have had great parents and I want Callum to feel the same. Well, at least that he has a great mom.
“I know you won’t thank me for saying it, but you need a man in your life, Tiffany,” she dares to say those words.
“Oh, don’t you start too,” I retort. “I’ve enough with Ali getting at me. You know, best friends are supposed to support you, not nag you.”
“You could never be without Alison, so don’t moan about her,” mom says. “Besides, I agree with her on this one. You need to socialize a little more. Meet people your own age, and meet men.”
“Mom, I meet people all the time at work,” I defend myself. “I want peace and quiet when I’m home. What do you think Callum would say if I brought a strange guy home? No thank you, that’s not what I want.”
“You know, maybe you should contact Callum’s father, you liked him,” she suggests.
“Mother! That's a bit out of the blue!" I say, surprised. "I could never do that, you know how I feel about it all,” I can hear my voice getting louder, this is a sore subject.
“I never understood why you didn’t tell him in the first place.” Mom was not going to give up on this line of conversation, ever.
“Besides the fact that we were only together for a couple of weeks, and he was a career man, what other reason did I need?” I plead my case, as I have so many times before.
When I was carrying Callum, my parents wanted me to involve the father. I was adamant that I would not. I actually fell in love in those few weeks and it devastated my life when Calvin wanted us to go our separate ways. He wanted to make his mark in the world, and that wasn’t me. Sure, I would have married him in a flash. Who wouldn’t marry a tall, dark, handsome and very fit young man? But, I sort of knew in my guts that he wasn’t the sort to stick around.
We had an amazing time at the graduation party. That was probably the last party I attended. After we all returned to our parent’s homes, the phone calls got shorter and fewer. By the time I realized I was having his child, I was angry with him. He was more interested in his business that he was trying to build up with his brothers than he was in me.
He often pops up in my thoughts unexpectedly. So far in my life, he's been the only man I think I ever loved. It was one of those relationships where we hit it off straight away. He was funny and charming and he literally swept me off my feet. It seems that he didn’t feel the same way, or if he did, other things were more important than I was. Sure, he was a decent guy, and I know deep down if I'd told him I was pregnant, he would have done the right thing. But, I couldn’t do that to him. He was so excited of what his future would look like. No way was I going to be the one to ruin his dreams.
I never blamed him because I know we both took the right precautions. Fate simply decided that we were going to have a child together, and I decided to take on the responsibility alone. Of course, I have met other men, despite what my mom says. The thing is, my standards are high. Not only do I have to love them but they must come up to the standards of being a great father for my son. I've never met anyone who passed the test. In the end, I gave up looking.
I still think about Calvin Luca and wonder what he's doing now? He was very clever but also fixated on his dreams. I hope he fulfilled his dreams in the end. Sometimes, I feel that I still love him. That's why I compare any man I meet, with him. No one comes even close.
“I’m off to bed, mom,” I say in a weary voice. “You okay seeing to Callum today?”
“Of course, dear, off you go,” mom smiles back at me.
Whatever would I do without her?
Baby Lilly
I knew the day was fast approaching for Mia to give birth after I saw her squeezing her oversized belly into the dining chair. Still, what do I know of these things? I’m not a father myself. So, when I receive a call from Rosy, Mia’s hired “doula”, who's apparently a birthing coach, she tells me Mia's gone into labor. I wasn’t at all surprised and it made me smile inside. Even though I'm going to be present at the birth, I feel a sudden spur of panic. I deal with mega-millions of dollars every day, without flinching an eye. Yet, the thought of my sister-in-law giving birth panics me. I know this is a big moment for my big brother.
Rosy informs me that Mia and Ethan have arrived at the birthing center on Pacific Heights, and could I make my way there.
“Wait!” I yell down the cell phone. “What hospital is that?”
Rosy patiently explains to me what a birthing center is and we agr
ee that I should calm down and get my ass over there.
OMG! A wave of panic swarms over me again. Mia’s about to give birth! She’s having a baby! I’m about to meet my very first niece. This will be a hugely momentous occasion for our family. It’s the first baby, that we are aware of anyway, that we three brothers have produced.
Marriage, or settling into a stable relationship was never on the agenda for me. It's pretty much the same for my other brother, Nico. He’s busy being a cattle baron somewhere in Texas. So, it's only natural that Ethan would be the first to add to the Luca family tree. He’s the ever-reliable and oldest one of our trio. He’s the rock, the sensible one, and the only one to fall in love. Now! Today! Any minute! He’s going to be a father.
I have to get a move on. I promised I’d be there pacing the floor and supporting Ethan. I even went to a few of their birthing classes with them and wow, it opened my eyes to what a woman is really made of. Mia insisted I tag along, but I think she hoped it would arouse the paternal instinct in me. Actually, if I'm honest, it did a little. There’s something very special about a couple who are in love and expecting a baby. I wanted to be a part of it and they let me in. Though I did draw a line at being present for the birth. Mia understood and said I should only do that for my own child. With the nervous tension that's flowing through me right now, anyone would think this was my child.
No, I can’t drive, I tell myself loudly. I’ll get my driver to take me. Man, I never thought I could feel so weak. I’m about to become an uncle. Wow!
The traffic's at a standstill as we drive through San Francisco. At this rate, I’ll miss the baby’s first birthday, never mind the birth. Why did they come to live in the center of San Francisco I'll never understand. Well, I do know why really. They bought this apartment because Mia has a major restaurant here. I'm staying at one of our hotels while I await the birth of my niece. It was better that way as I didn't want to be in the way of the loving couple.
