by Tara Brent
Chapter 11
A Bad Man
What the hell was that all about? We made love and it was truly amazing. Then, he ran as far away from me as he could. He even banged his bedroom door behind him. I don’t think he could get away from me quick enough. I’ve had no explanation, nothing. If he’d only explain why he reacted that way then I could cope with it, but this lack of communication is killing me.
Luckily, it’s the weekend, so I don’t have to face anyone for the rest of the day. I put Lucas back into his own bed as soon as we arrive home. Mom won’t be up until around ten, so I make myself a coffee and sit in the lounge contemplating what happened last night. That's it, never again will that man even so much as kiss me, let alone make love to me. Who the hell does he think he is? Grrr...
An incessant knocking on my door pulls me from my thoughts. Who the bloody hell is knocking on the goddamn door now!
In the back of my mind, I’m hoping it’s Drew. Maybe he's come chasing me with his tail between his legs to apologize and explain. Instead, as I open the door I see Paul.
“Damn it, Paul, you do know there’s a restraining order on you?” I snap at him. “Go away! I want nothing to do with you, get that through your thick skull, will you?”
“Chrissy, please, I have to speak with you,” he pleads. “At least hear me out for a minute.”
“You’re not coming in, Paul, and I don’t see what either of us has to talk about. You're stalking me, and I'm not having it, you hear me?”
“I trained hard so I could get a good job, Chrissy. I earn a good living and I can support you and Lucas. You never need to worry about money ever again. I want you to marry me, Chrissy, so we can be together all the time.”
“For Christ’s sake, Paul!” I yell a little louder than I mean to. The last thing I want is to wake up my family with this man at the door. “I don’t want your money and you have to leave or I’m calling the cops. This has to stop. Why can’t you listen when I tell you that we don’t have a relationship? We never did have. All we had were a few nights out together. That does not make for a marriage.”
“It’s only because I love you, Chrissy. I want what’s best for you and Lucas, and your mom. Let me help you all.”
“We don’t need help, Paul. We never did. Please, go away and leave my family alone!”
As I attempt to slam the door shut, he jams his foot in the bottom to stop it from closing.
“Chrissy, all I care about is you. Now let me in or I’ll be forced to do something we'll both regret, and I don’t want to do that. It will all be your fault. Be reasonable and listen to me.”
“Take your foot out of the door and I’ll let you in,” I say to him.
Thankfully, he believes me and I quickly slam the door shut. He starts pounding on it with his fists, demanding I let him in. All I can do is call the police but as I do my hands are shaking so much I can’t concentrate as he's hammering at my door.
“Mommy?” A little voice brings me around to my senses. “Who is it?"
“Go into grandma’s room while I send them away, honey. It’s only some big boys from school. I’ll give them what for when I’m done with them,” I lie.
This asshole has me lying to my son now, and I hate him. Why the hell does he keep pestering me? I’ve never done anything to encourage him. We spent about a month together and before I found out the truth about him. I never suspected he’d turn out to be a stalker.
As I'm busy panicking, I hear my neighbor, Barry, speaking with him. Barry is a great guy. He lives next door with his male partner, James, but he’s also a bodybuilder so he’s a big fella. He's not afraid of anyone, but I don’t trust Paul. He’s the kinda guy that might do something completely irrational. I can’t let Barry deal with him alone, so I open the door.
“Who’s this guy, Chrissy?” Barry asks, looking concerned.
“I’m sorry for the noise, Barry," I say in a meek voice. "I’ve contacted the police who should be here any minute.” I avoid looking at Paul because I don’t want to communicate with him any more than I have to.
“If Chrissy doesn’t want you knocking on her door, dude, then you had better turn around and leave,” Barry tells him.
“Chrissy, tell him that I love you,” Paul pleads.
“Paul, leave before the cops get here or you’ll be in big trouble breaking a restraining order,” I say, on the hope that he might run.
He turns to look down the road at the flashing lights on a car. It must be the police.
“This isn’t over,” he says to me with a crazy wide-eyed stare. “You can tell that twat who threatened me last night to watch his back, you hear? You and me, Chrissy, we belong together.”
With those words, he turns and runs towards the trailer park, not far from my humble little wooden house. I wonder if that’s where he’s staying. If it is, he couldn’t get much closer.
A female police officer gets out of the car and I explain the situation to her. While she’s quite sympathetic to my cause, I know there’s little they can do unless they catch him.
Barry gives me a friendly hug and assures me he’ll keep a lookout for the guy. His kind words feel good right now. I need to decide whether or not to tell Drew of the threat that Paul made to him. Should I take it seriously? If I do tell him, he might decide I’m not the right person to be around his daughter. I'm distraught over this whole affair. One man stalks and threatens me and the other makes love to me only to turn his back on me. My whole life is a bloody mess!
Still shaken up I go back inside my home to reassure my son that the man has gone away and all’s well in the world. Mom looks at me knowingly, I don’t need to explain things to her, she already knows. She never liked Paul in the first place when we were together. I hung out with him because he was fun at the time. Spontaneous and exciting. If only I'd listened to my mom's warnings back then because this guy is nothing but trouble.
Chapter 12
Damn the Woman!
It’s no good, I can’t seem to get Chrissy out of my head, so I’ve taken off for a few days. I’m staying at a hotel close to a meeting I've arranged with some business associates. The time working will help me clear my head. Annie’s so excited about Chrissy and Lucas joining her life that she’ll hardly notice me gone. I’m annoyed at myself that we made out the other night. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, on the contrary, it was too fucking good. My wife hasn’t been gone long and already I’m looking at other women. Clara doesn’t deserve that. She suffered enough in the months before her death, and now...now...it's like I’m being unfaithful to her!
Since the passing of Clara, I’ve focused all my attention on Annie. Clara always made the decisions on our daughter’s upbringing. Not that I didn’t care because I did, I love my daughter dearly. Clara would choose nothing but the best for her. Yet, I'm not doing what’s best for her if I’m busy fucking with her teacher!
Damn the woman!
I came back to my childhood home thinking it would be more calming for both Annie and me. Instead, it's twice as complicated. Not once did I think to check if Chrissy had returned home too. She never crossed my mind. Now, she’s in my face and I don’t want her there. Yet, Annie will never agree to another tutor, she’s taken to Chrissy and her son so well.
The best thing is to let Chrissy get started with her routine with my daughter. If I’m not there, she can’t ask me any awkward questions about the other night. The problem is, I don’t have any answers. I’ve no idea why I allowed myself to be so weak. Call it lust, a man’s desires, whatever you like. Just don’t call it love.
But, is it love? She certainly stirs something inside of me. As much as I try to convince myself it’s simple lust, I know it's more than that. All I had wanted was to get on with my work and raise my daughter. Not that sex is unwelcome, she turns me on like crazy. But if I'm going to have sex, it needs to be on a casual basis, not with someone who comes with baggage. If only she’d have been married. That way she wouldn't have been avail
able. Instead, she’s both available and willing. Our relationship needs to remain professional. The less I see of Chrissy, the better for both our families. I have to man up and take responsibility by putting a stop to this.
I should look at the possibility of returning to Europe; we don’t have to go back to France. Crap, my mind’s all over the place.
After my business meeting today my friends and I will socialize later. I could take that opportunity for some casual sex to get Chrissy out of my head. Why does that make me feel guilty? Is it the memory of my Clara or Chrissy? Fuck, that woman’s got me so confused!
If only Clara was still here with me. I swore there could be no other woman in my life after she passed away. Of course, I hadn’t accounted for someone I already had feelings for a long time before Clara came into my life.
Clara and Chrissy are like polar-opposites. My wife was sophisticated, feminine and sometimes a little wild, especially when making love. She was a successful musician with finesse and charm. Chrissy has done very little with her life. She has no individuality and if I'm honest she's weak. So weak that all I want to do is protect her. My wife never needed any protection from the world. If anything, it needed protecting from her forceful nature. She talked many a wealthy businessman into parting with large amounts of cash. Not for herself but for whatever charitable program was her latest project. Clara believed it was her goal in life to redistribute the entire wealth of the world. Hah! Chrissy could easily be one of her projects of victims, with that dickhead who follows her around.
That’s another reason I got away today. I don’t want to get involved in her life. So long as that idiot stays away from my daughter, then I want nothing to do with him. Otherwise, I’ll beat the crap out of him.
When I finish today, I’ll video call with Annie and tell her I’m away on business. No doubt she’ll tell me all about her first day with her new teacher. I’m half hoping Annie will hate her day so I can end the contract and get her teacher out of my life.
Is that my phone ringing, ah...
“Yes?” I say, annoyed at whoever’s interrupted my train of thought.
“Hey, big man, you coming down here for a drink?” A familiar voice hails over the speaker.
“Hi, Ken! Yeah sure, I’ll be there in five,” I tell my friend who's waiting in the lobby. “Put the order on my tab, I’ll jump in the shower first.”
“Sure thing, Drew,” Ken laughs. “But be quick or you're gonna end up with the ugly one.”
Putting the phone down, I strip off for my shower. I remember how Ken likes the ladies. No doubt I’ll be in for an entertaining evening. Yet, the thought of sleeping with another woman doesn't seem right. It feels as if I’ll be cheating on Chrissy. Christ! My head’s so fucked up!
Chapter 13
The Lingering Menace
When I arrive at the Gagnon household on Tuesday morning for my first day, there are a few changes in the living room area. It’s a huge open plan room with a kitchen and dining area. Part of the dining area is partitioned off with beautiful French dividers. There's a large round plain table for us to work from, and a mobile whiteboard, I assume for me to play with as teacher.
I’ve been feeling apprehensive about starting here, after what happened. Drew has made no attempt to contact me. It feels like he should apologize for his ignorant behavior. I ended up sleeping on the sofa with the hope that he might come back out of his room to explain. He made no effort so I decided to leave quite early. When I contacted Rita to come home, she was already stirring so I hadn’t woken her.
I’m unsure how to react to our situation and what to say to Drew when I see him today. Turns out I needn’t worry because he’s not here. It seems he’s gone off on a business trip and I can’t help but wonder if he’s avoiding me. Okay, I’m being a little paranoid, but he does seem to have a big problem with me. One minute he’s all over me, the next he can’t get far enough away.
“Okay, children, no more messing around, let’s get started,” I say to Lucas and Annie as they run around whooping with joy.
This is going to be so good for Lucas, not only is he with me all the time but I can educate him too. At the moment, I’m lucky if I get to read a book to him at night time, I’m always so tired.
I set the children to work as I outlined on my timetable. There are certain subjects I’m obliged to teach according to the national curriculum. Though, at this age, there is some leniency. We’re concentrating more on the English language for Annie so there’s lots of ground to cover.
Once the children settle down to the work I’ve set them, I go to speak to Rita who's baking in the kitchen area.
“That smells delightful, Rita, what is it?”
“I bake bread for your lunches. We eat together, yes?” She asks me.
“That would be lovely. Will Drew be back?” I dare to broach the topic.
“No, no, he gone for two days,” she replies, not taking her eyes off the oven as she checks her bread.
“Is he happy with the timetable I've set, do you know?” I ask as he hasn’t confirmed with me yet and he seemed so determined for me to produce one.
“Bah! You must forgive Drew,” Rita replied, waving her hand as if to wave him away. “He a kind man, but troubled.”
“Yes, I know about his loss. It must have been terrible for them both,” I say, hoping to learn more.
“You no worry on Drew, only on Annie,” she tells me with a kind voice.
Throughout the rest of the day, Rita gives me little snippets of life in the Gagnon household. It does help me to understand Drew's position. It seems he was heartbroken at the loss of his wife, Clara. They were a perfect couple and very much in love. This news pounds a heavy feeling in my stomach. I’m ashamed to say that I think it’s jealousy. Goodness knows why. I hardly ever thought of Drew until he returned back into my life. I suppose when we first returned to Cowichan bay, I'd hoped his family might still be around. Besides the initial disappointment that they’d moved on, I wasn’t too upset over it.
Now that he’s returned I sort of feel that we should never have parted. Poor Drew, I hate to think of him hurting as he does. Yet, if I try to comfort him, I doubt he’ll welcome it.
Instead, look who I’ve ended up with, in my life. The likes of Paul who causes me nothing but trouble. I hope he’s moved on and I don’t see him again. The police said they’ll keep a lookout for him, but I know they’ve more important things to do.
The day's lessons go well and the children have fun too. Having Lucas to talk to helps Annie no end with her English. It turns out she has a lot more English vocabulary than I thought.
When my phone rings I excuse myself from our reading session. Mom’s name pops up on my screen. It’s not like her to bother me at work, and I do worry over her health so I answer.
“Hey, mom, you okay?”
“I am, dear. It’s that wretched man again,” she says in a shaky voice. “He was going through our trash cans earlier, what do you suppose he’s up to?”
“Did you call the police, mom?”
“No, he’s gone away now, but I worry for you, Chrissy. This man is up to something, I’m sure of it.”
“If you don’t feel safe, I can come and get you?”
No, no, dear, you’ll be home soon anyway. I’m fine but should we call the police again, what do you think?”
“Wait till I get home now, mom, and stay indoors. Don’t go opening the door for anyone, you hear?”
“I’ve already been outside,” she tells me. “I went to see if Dan was in but he’s not.”
“Okay, mom. I’ll get off early if I can.”
We end our conversation but I’m left with a feeling of dread. Why would anyone go through a trash can? I can’t call the police over that but it's a concern that he’s still around.
At the end of the reading session, I decide to stop for the day. Rita is fine with it as I tell her that my mom isn’t feeling too well. I don’t want to tell her the truth as she'll
discuss Paul with Drew. I cycle home with Lucas sitting in his special seat. It’s something we’ve done since he was a baby and he loves getting around on my cycle. As I’m approaching home, I see him. Paul is lingering around near a tree, waiting for me.
Chapter 14
Revelations
Somehow, I end up back home that very same day. Unable to hack the socializing my friends expected of me, I set off home that night and arrive as Rita is locking up. I don’t want to explain anything to her so I say a few words and head for my bed.
After breakfast with Rita and Annie, I head straight to my office with orders that no one is to disturb me as I have a busy day. In reality, I'm making excuses so I don't have to spend any time with Chrissy. It seems my one day's hiatus failed to do what its prime intention was, getting that damn woman out of my head. My head’s all fucked up with emotions and I can’t say I’m happy about it.
I always believed that Clara was everything to me, along with our daughter Annie. Since meeting up with Chrissy again, I’m beginning to doubt that I ever really loved my wife. When Clara died I was distraught for months. But, that grief was soon dispelled when Chrissy came back into my life. Looking back at my decision to return to Cowichan Bay, I can’t help but feel that subconsciously I'd hoped Chrissy would be here. My fondness for Clara will always be precious. She provided me with the most wonderful experience in the world, our daughter. Yet, it's Chrissy that burns inside my head now, tormenting me. If I was to admit it to myself, I know that I've always missed her.
It’s taken some deep thinking to get to this point, and admitting this to myself is maddening. In fact, it’s driving me crazy. After Clara died I put my head into my work, believing that would relieve me of my heartbreak. I'd assumed time would heal my wound and that work would ease the pain. In the end, my hard work was my punishment. I knew that whilst I was sad, it hadn’t felt as bad as I should have done when I lost Clara. If anything, it meant I was free to pursue Chrissy. I think I'd tried to saturate that guilt in hard work.
