by S C Thomas
A name near the back of the drawer caught her eyes and she reached forward, plucking it up and out of the drawer. She set it down, letting the folder fall open and gasped, pressing her fingers to her lips. “Oh my,” she murmured to herself, flipping the page and seeing the same list but with different names.
She shifted uncomfortably, realizing what a breach of privacy this was. How could anyone be okay with their names being put into a file like this? Or these, there were more in the drawer when she looked. No doubt going back decades, maybe even centuries. Emma wrinkled her nose in disgust, picking up the file she currently held and shut the drawer. She left the room and made her way to the counter, slapping the folder down. The librarian went unfazed, ignoring the folder.
“Shouldn’t there be a law against this? Mate bonds and all?”
The librarian shook her head slowly, peering over her glasses once more, this time looking entirely bored at Emma. She exhaled slowly. “Dear, there is nothing wrong with that. I feel bad for you, never learning the rules and such before coming here. Before you go spouting in loud voices, maybe you need to look things up.” She flicked her eyes to the side, dropping her gaze back to her books.
Emma peered to the side she indicated and felt a blush returning to her cheeks at the two loners who were staring at her with wide eyes, each one holding a book open in their hands, mouth partly agape in surprise at her exclamation. She glared at them until they turned away, silently daring them to say anything to her that would be making fun of her and turned back to the librarian when they were no longer paying her attention.
“Look, I think that’s just a breach of privacy- “
“It’s just how it is.” The old women sighed, shrugging.
“Well, what about the mating with children in play?” Emma pressed, flipping open the folder and prodding a finger at the pages. “There’s nothing in here to indicate anyone having children with their mating bonds.”
The librarian’s eyes flicked up to her in surprise, her face slightly twisting but Emma couldn’t tell which emotion it was for. “Shifters and mages don’t have children.” She said flatly, scrutinizing Emma curiously. “They aren’t supposed to.”
Emma furrowed her eyebrows. “And why not?” She demanded, standing her ground to get the information. She remembered how Kelyn had shown slight jealousy when she’d talked about her interaction Josh that morning on their way to classes. She hadn’t figured it out exactly why, but perhaps that was it – Kelyn knew she didn’t stand a chance with a guy like Josh because of Shifter abilities.
The librarian closed her book gently, laying her hands on it. “Because a baby born for a bond has no way to live normally. If it happens, the baby will be asked to be aborted. No one wants to care for a deformed fetus, something that would probably never be able to live past three years anyways. Why break your heart if you can get a normal one from someone outside the bond?”
Emma looked at her in confusion and slight repulsion. “Abort?” She choked out and stepped back. “How cruel can people be?” She turned on her heel and darted out of the library, desperate to get away from it.
As she ran back to her dorm, running straight through a crowd – her head a mangled mess so she barely noticed who she was barreling through – she stopped in front of her door, gasping for breath.
“Emma, you okay?” Kelyn’s voice sounded far away, but she nodded anyways and pushed open her door.
Kelyn followed and shut the door behind them, standing against it. “You look terrible.” She commented, smiling softly when Emma threw her a weary look.
Emma shook her head, pushing back sweaty strands of hair. “I have a question.” She gasped, then bent over, putting her hands on her knees as she grappled for breath.
Kelyn waited a few moments for Emma to gather herself. “Are you okay?” she repeated and shifted when Emma nodded. “Well, what do you need to know?”
“Did you know about the accessible list of shifters and their forms?” She questioned; the list detailed in her mind.
A momentary pause. “Yes.”
“How is that even okay?” Emma breathed out, shaking her head. “That isn’t right at all!”
Kelyn shrugged and stepped forward, helping Emma to sit down on her bed as her legs had begun to shake. Emma smiled weakly at her friend and dropped her face into her hands.
“It’s just how it is.” Kelyn explained. “But it’s okay, really. It’s just the natural path of life. Not all are bad though. It’s just a registry. Sort of like keeping track of what we are, it’s not a big deal. Our government has to know.” She shrugged.
Emma frowned, squinting her eyes at Kelyn. “That doesn’t make any sense at all. You know what else I found out? Are bonded souls not supposed to have babies? Is it true you’re supposed to abort if you have a baby with your bond?”
Kelyn bit her lip, face twisting in the evidence that said the librarian hadn’t been lying. “It’s the law.”
“That’s disgusting!” Emma breathed out, her cheeks flaming in heat, but from anger this time. “How could anyone wanna abort their precious baby?”
Kelyn blinked, staring at her emotionless. “It’s the law.” She repeated flatly, shrugging once again.
Emma frowned, staring down at her lap. “Are you okay with it all? You’re going to be on the registry one day, if you aren’t already. Are you okay with that?”
“Sure, why not? I can’t help who I am, Emma. It’s just the way it is.”
Emma groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically, shaking her head. She dropped to her bed, laying sprawled out. “This is so not cool.” She mumbled, and turned her head, looking at Kelyn sideways. “You wanna hear a wish I have?”
Kelyn smiled lopsidedly. “Wishes don’t come true if you speak aloud.”
Emma giggled, shaking her head. “I don’t think mine would ever come true anyways. “I just wish I could be a shifter.”
“It’s not all that’s cracked up to be.” Kelyn said tartly, making Emma flinch from the tone.
Emma looked at her curiously, not once having heard her use such a tone before. “Being a mage isn’t either. I really do wish I could be a shifter though.”
Fifteen
Emma fell to the ground, releasing the clippers from her hands and sprawled out eagle sized, eyelids fluttering closed. “Are we done yet?” She groaned.
Josh chuckled, his shadow falling over her face and she peered up under her eyelids to look up at him, seeing him standing above her. She smiled up at him, unable to help the sloppiness of her smile that caressed her face. “We’re almost done. Come on, you can finish the rest up.”
Emma wrinkled her nose. “No way, I’m totally dead. Look at me, I’m a log.” She dropped her head to the side, letting her tongue fall out the side of her mouth.
Josh laughed at her, shaking his head and reached down, pulling her to a sitting position, her body deliberately going limp to make it more difficult for him. “For a tiny girl,” he huffed. “You sure have can put on your body weight.” He grunted, finally shoving her to sitting up.
Emma laughed, letting her body go lax once she was sitting up. Then she tilted her head, looking up at him curiously. “Did you know there’s a registry in the library about shifters? Telling about what they are and all.”
He side eyed her as he bent to retrieve his clippers and snatched hers up. “Yep.”
Emma frowned at his nonchalant answer. “Isn’t that weird to you?”
He rose to his feet, handing her a pair of clippers. “Not really. It’s natural. You get to used to things like that after a while.”
Emma took the clippers and pulled herself to her feet with some slight difficulty, stumbling when she righted herself up. “That’s what Kelyn said to.”
A mixture of confusion and distasted briefly crossed his face, Josh pursed his lips to keep from retorting, shaking his head before he turned away, clipping away at the hedge they’d been given for this morning. Emma frowned again, watching him for
a moment before she stepped up to take her place next to him, clipping as well. They were silent for a few moments as they clipped and Emma convinced herself that she had said something wrong or done something wrong at the least. She wasn’t sure what she’d said wrong, everything she rolled over in her mind seemed perfectly fine. But obviously it wasn’t.
“Are you friends with her?” He finally asked, breaking the silence between the two.
Emma looked up in shock at the question asked. “What?”
“The Kelyn girl, the shifter. Are you friends with her?”
Emma blinked, staring at him in slight confusion and nodded, eyebrows scrunched together. “Is there something wrong with that?”
He shrugged, going quiet again, not looking at her. She sat back on her heels, looking at him with a tilted head. She was trying to figure him out, but despite getting to know him every day for a week straight, there was still so much mystery about him she had yet to uncover. Was this it though? Was this the end of becoming friends or even something more? They’d miss each other as Emma was determined to take her sleep back, her beloved sleep she missed so much. She had been studying late into the night and getting up early for detention was not helping her case. She was beyond exhausted at this point and knew that the very next day, she would probably end being late for class as she slept in.
“You are very odd, you know that, Emma Charmwood?” He mused and when she looked at him, he was grinning. “Are you busy this weekend?”
Emma bit her lip, pretending to think it over, those butterflies fluttering in her stomach all over again. “Well, I was considering on sleeping the weekend away. Heavens knows I need my beauty rest.” She said dramatically, swiping her hand across her forehead, sighing heavily and inciting a chuckle of amusement from him. “But I think I can squeeze other things in. Did you have other things in mind?”
He nodded, feigning a look of perplexation. “If you think you can manage, I would be honored to treat you to an afternoon in the village down the mountainside.”
Her eyes widened and the clippers slipped from her hands, plopping to the ground, her mouth opening in surprise. “I-I” she nodded, unable to form the words, but swallowing around a lump that had suddenly formed, she breathed out slowly. “Yes. Yes. Yes, I’d love to.” She sputtered.
He grinned and looked up as the large bell clanged, alerting them to the end of their time. He rose to his feet, stretching. “Well, that’s it for today.” He held out his hand to her.
She grabbed hold of her clippers with one hand and took his with the others, letting him help her to her feet, feeling the tingle racing through her fingers. She bit her lip, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck – up her cheeks. “Thanks.” She mumbled and let her hand slide out of his, biting the inside of her cheek.
“I’ll see you around but meet at the doors on Saturday at noon.” He nodded, then turned and walked briskly off.
She watched him go, mostly because her feet felt glued to the ground and her head seemed to be floating through clouds, swimming around and around. She giggled, reaching up to bite at her thumb nail and walked with heavy footsteps towards the castle, dragging the clippers behind her. The interaction and planned date made her nearly forget about her lessons that morning, but even when she did remember – she wasn’t able to care about them for a moment. Her head was in the clouds, making her heart stammer in happiness.
The bristling of trees made her look up, eyes finding the ones of the crow . She shifted her feet, which were suddenly unglued at the sight of the crow and stepped back. It stared at her, unfazed by her watching it. She couldn’t stop staring at it and it couldn’t stop staring at her, but unlike her – it didn’t seem unnerved by her. She blinked and with the eye contact broken, it rose from its perch. The wings batted slowly, watching her as it rose slowly and then turned in a wide circle, flying off. Moving away, she turned and walked towards the library – mostly on a subconscious sort of level and entered. Ducking behind the bookshelves, she entered the registry room and opened the one next to the door. Rifling through the names on the list next to which animals they were, she found not a single one to be a crow . Which was odd, because even if the crow wasn’t one registered, there should’ve at least been one – at least, right? It didn’t sit right with her, but shoving the files back in, she left with more questions in her mind and thinking of that crow .
Until she walked past the hedges and her mind shifted back to Josh and the date he’d just asked her on, her stomach fluttering in happiness once again, her body feeling nearly weightless as she practically floated up the stairs and into the castle.
Only when she was walking through the door of the empty classroom that was to hold their lessons did her heart drop and her head flop back down. Drake stood at their usual desk, his arms crossed, and a scowl over his face – annoyed by the looks of it.
“You’re late.” He reprimanded her.
“You’re lucky I’m even here.” She said bitterly, lashing back at him, not wanting to let him crawl beneath her skin again.
He didn’t even bat an eye. “I’m lucky? You’re lucky you chose to come. I’m surprise you haven’t dropped out yet. You’re nothing but a magicless mage, which is just a mundane. Don’t know why you’re still here. You aren’t getting any of it.”
Emma pressed her lips together, trying hard to keep to the memory of happiness she had gotten from Josh asking her on a date. But it wasn’t easy with a glowing Drake in front of her. “I’m learning, aren’t I?”
“Not well enough.” He said tartly, then turned, yanking a book from his bag and slammed on a desk in front of her.
Emma glared at him. “I’m trying, okay? That should be enough, shouldn’t it?”
“No.” He said flatly. “You need to learn magic before the trials. You don’t want to be left out in them.” He shook his head. “It’s bad enough you’re ridiculed for not matching your namesake. You don’t want to be left out of the trials as well. It won’t end pretty for you.”
She blinked, trying to not let the tears show in her eyes. She didn’t want to see how much they had hurt her. The euphoria from her and Josh’s interaction had faded away by this point – it hadn’t taken much either except a few harsh words that left her feeling pretty crummy about herself all over again.
“Come here,” he demanded, and she found her feet complying, stepping to him.
He took her hand and pulled her into the middle of the room, positioning her to face towards the door. He kicked her feet apart and reached around her, holding her wrists and held her arms apart. “Certain spells need aligning.” He said softly in her ears.
Her flesh tingled at his touch, but not in the way it had with Josh. She pulled away from him, practically shivering and cringed away.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “What? You can be touched by shifters but not a mage? You do realize that people think you’re weird for hanging around them, don’t you? You know,” he stepped closer to her, forcing her to take a step back to keep distance between them. “We can make quite the couple and it could redeem some of your name.”
Emma took another step back, shaking her head as he stepped forward once again. “I’m good, thank you.” She said bitterly, eyeing his feet. “I don’t care if people think I’m weird. Isn’t that what they already think? And even before I had started hanging out with Kelyn, people thought I was weird. It’s no different now.”
“You’d do a lot better hanging out with your own kind, Emma. Cut the ties with them before it’s too late.” He warned, stepping towards her.
She took another step back, pressing against the wall, her eyes on his feet, fingers clutching at the wall behind her. “I’m fine where I’m at. Can we get on with the lessons now? Please?”
He shook his head, turning back towards the desk and giving her reign to move forward again, watching him cautiously. She walked forward, cautious to not get within arm’s length of him. She was reluctant to be touched by him again
, but who could blame her? He was out for her and not in a way she really wanted. It reminded her of the day she had arrived, how he was on Sherice’s tail – how he had been sitting with her in the dining hall as well. She had seen him multiple times around her as well over the course of the last few weeks, like a puppy following its owner around – tail wagging happily to be around the person it was most around. There was something going on between the two, maybe it was just off now, and he was looking for a next target until they got back together, and she was that person.
A shiver swept down her spine at the thought and she felt uncomfortable with it rolling through her mind. She didn’t like thinking that way but didn’t know what else to think.
“Okay, so, have you learned anything in class about the history of magic?” He turned to her, holding a book out, not bothering to look at it.
She puffed out her cheeks and slowly exhaled, the bubbles going down slowly. “I suppose.” She shrugged, tilting her head. “Somewhat.”
He groaned. “You haven’t paid attention?”
She squinted her eyes, shrugging as she looked down at the ground, crossing her arms over her chest and rocked back on her heels.
He mumbled something incoherent beneath his breath, annoyed by her. “Fine.” He huffed, breathing roughly through his nostrils. “Let’s focus on the magical system then. First off, you can’t let mundane’s see you do magic. If you do, you’re in trouble. It’s that simple.” He snickered. “Though, with you, I wouldn’t doubt if it did happen.”
She glared at him, pressing her lips together as she shook her head. “Whatever.” She mumbled.
“Why do you hang out with them?” He pressed, bringing the topic up again.
She groaned “Mind your own damn business, Drake.”
“I’m just curious why you’d rather be with a bunch of losers – “
“Don’t call them that!” Emma screamed, her cheeks heating up in anger, her fingers curling into fists. “Take it back!”
