“19?”
“You do know my name is Jane, right?”
“What can I do you for?”
I could hear the smirk in his voice. Was it because he could tease me so easily or because he knew he was getting a booty call?
“It’s the second one.” Gabriel winked at me, gluing his body to mine.
I pushed away from him. “Would you like to come over?”
“Why is something broken?”
I rolled my eyes. “No.”
“So, what do you need? Jane?” he dragged out my name, rolling it off his tongue.
“I need you inside me ten minutes ago.”
The silence on the other end was unnerving. Maybe he thought we would play a game, maybe he wanted to make me sweat, maybe he wanted to make me squirm with embarrassment, but I was too horny to give him the satisfaction. I needed to come, soon and someone needed to get me there. It was him or me.
“Or me.” Gabriel looked into my eyes.
“Go away.” I swatted at him.
“I thought you wanted me to come over?” Barry finally rediscovered his voice and sounded confused.
“I do. Are you?”
“On my way.”
The line went dead in my ear. I flung the phone onto the kitchen table and went to freshen up.
“Why did you call him when I could just do that for you?” Gabriel’s hot breath was at my ear, the heat of his body against my back, as I felt a hand slide along my ribs and settle on my abdomen.
“Not tonight,”
“Why not?”
“Cause I need something more.”
I saw the scowl on his face. The flash of anger behind the eyes. I turned from the mirror and put a hand on his strong chest. “Later, when I write. It will only be you and me.”
He wasn’t happy about it, not completely but he let it go. It seemed like he was going to say more when we were interrupted by the knocking on the door.
Barry was breathless. Did he run over? I won’t lie, the thought sent a shiver of satisfaction through me. The arrogant playboy actually wanted to be here, with me. Actually dropped whatever he was doing and ran. I did a mental fist bump and promised myself a victory dance right after he left.
His chest heaved through a grey t-shirt with a dinosaur print. He was wearing his faded jeans, the ones that looked like they were cut and sewn just for him. His hair was tousled and wild, and his jaw was covered in a few days of growth, making his young face look older, sexier, darker. I swallowed and stepped out of his way.
“19.” He flashed some teeth.
“Jane.”
“Sure.” He sidestepped me and made his way to my couch. He sat down casually, his body sinking into the ugly green pillows whose springs gave way years ago.
I closed the door and walked towards Barry. Gabriel remained in the corner, leaning against the wall.
“Stop.”
It wasn’t an order. Barry didn’t order, his voice commanded, and your body listened. It wanted to listen. It wanted to do everything it was asked, and it wanted to do it well. It wanted to please the voice because the owner would reward you in ways that made your whole body sing.
I stopped in front of him. He sat back on the couch his eyes appraising me slowly. It was easy to please Barry.
I wore my white singlet not bothering with a bra. I knew he could see my nipples staring at him through the thin fabric. It was pulled over a lacy black number and barely covered my ass. I was going to make this easy. Accessible and obvious.
“Take your top off.”
I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it above my head. My hands automatically bouncing back to cover my nudity. I was suddenly aware of all the lights being on and they all felt like spotlights, every single one pointed at me.
“Hands to the side.”
I let my hands drop as Barry’s eyes roamed my body. “Now your underwear.” He licked his bottom lip.
I pulled the fabric down letting it slide down my legs. I kicked it away.
“Fuck Jane. You are gorgeous.” He stood up having had his fill and walked around me. “I brought you a gift, I think you’re going to enjoy this one.”
“What is it?” I turned my head toward him.
“Eyes front, don’t move again.”
There was warning in his voice.
He traced his hands along my back, his fingers caressing the bare skin. “Bend over Jane.” His fingers coaxed me forward and down as I reached towards my toes.
He sucked in a deep breath, in appreciation. “Spread your legs, hands on your ankles.” I did as I was told.
Two fingers found my wetness, he stroked me from behind purring. “I love that you are always so ready for me Jane.”
He stroked my pussy up and down, then inserted the two fingers inside me, teasing coaxing a moan from me. “You like that Jane?”
“Mm mm,” I purred in return.
“I’m going to use my gift now. Are you ready?”
“Mm mm.”
He pulled his fingers away. Replacing his heat was a cold substance which touched my ass hole. He was lubricating me. I felt the cold hardness of his gift as it sat at the entrance to my hole. Ever so gently, Barry eased it in, while his fingers were back at my clit, his touch feather-light, as he swept his fingers across me. The plug filled me as I stretched around it.
He stepped away, admiring his work. “Jesus Jane, look at how gorgeous you look.”
I felt vulnerable with my ass in the air and my head looking at floor or feet, but I trusted Barry and so far, all I was feeling was good.
Without any warning, I felt a vibration begin in my asshole. Barry’s fingers back. Sweeping stroking, teasing. The vibrations sending exquisite tingles of pleasure through me. I groaned. Barry pulled his fingers away and the vibrations stopped.
“Do you like that Jane?”
“Mm mm.”
The vibrations resumed.
“On your knees. Hands by your sides.” I fell to my knees, my ass clenching around the plug, the vibrator humming in my ass flaming my growing need. Barry watched as I moaned against the building sensation.
He unbuttoned his pants, enjoying my torment, he slipped out of his pants and boxers in one motion and came to stand before me. His dick hard and ready. “Open your mouth Jane.”
I did. He stepped closer. Placing his dick on my lips. I grabbed him. pulling him into me, as if he was water to quench my thirst. I sucked hard, pulling him deeper, selfish in my own need. My tongue flicking around him, my throat stretching to accommodate him. My ass singing, euphoric shocks of titillation pulsating through me.
“Jane,” he growled and pulled my hair, forcing me to slow down. The vibrations stopped. Was he punishing me? I groaned in frustration and pulled him deeper still.
“Stop.”
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I needed to be sated somewhere and as he never gave me his mouth, I wanted him to crave that feeling of want.
“Stop,” he growled and curled his fist around my hair pulling my head away and up, so our eyes met. “Eager, horny Jane.”
He stepped back and allowed himself to fall onto the edge of the couch. He held out his hand for me. I stood on shaky legs, my throbbing pussy desperate for release, my body coiled with need.
I sat slowly onto his cock, accommodating for the plug still in my ass. I was stretched, and full, yearning for release, drenched in heat.
Barry placed his hands on my hip and guided them against him, the movement forcing me to grind against him, the vibrations in my ass, suddenly everywhere, as if the wall inside had melted away. The edge grew ever closer, scorching me. His mouth found my nipple, his hot tongue swept around in circles, and soft lips sucked, hard teeth nibbled and his low moans sent me over the edge, an overwhelming ripple of ecstasy shot through me, as I shuddered and spasmed around him. His thrusts sped up, his hands dug into my flesh as he pulled and tugged grinding against me, sucking and nibbling until with a final
jerk his body shuddered. Barry let out a long low groan. His hands gripped my hips pulling me lower onto him, asking me to take him deeper squeeze harder.
He fell to the back of the couch panting, his hair stuck to his head, a singular bead of sweat rolled down his cheek.
I was about to climb off but he held me in place. His eyes tense, dark, uncertain and then he leaned closer. His hand cupped my chin, pulled me in ever so gently. His lips inches from mine. I looked into his eyes, I saw his question, his uncertainty. I answered it for him. I closed the distance, my lips found his, soft and warm. Barry opened up to me, kissing me deeply and tenderly in a way I didn’t expect. A lingering, delirious kiss.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes, then looked away shifting beneath me. That was my cue.
I pulled myself off him.
“Bend over the couch so I can take that thing out for you.”
Ever so gently, he took the plug out then stood, leaving me curled up on the couch while he went to dispose of the condom.
“Did you enjoy the show?” my eyes flickered to Gabriel.
Gabriel.
Watching. Memorising every move, every thrust of Barry’s hips, every flick of his tongue, every touch of lips, every lingering moment of pleasure. Much later when it was just him and me, I would recognise them as he thrust in me.
He pushed off the wall and stalked towards me, then froze as Barry walked back into the room. Gabriel turned away and disappeared down the corridor.
Barry seemed lost, as if suddenly he didn’t know how to be around me at all.
“Are you OK?”
“Are you?” he seemed almost concerned.
My euphoric glow may have confused him. “I am amazing. That was just…”
“I know.” He smirked at me returning to his usual arrogant self.
“Would you like to stay?”
Barry never stayed.
“I think I would. If that’s OK?” he looked as surprised as I was. “I’ll be out of here by six before Grish and the rest of them get up.” He was explaining himself, uncertain.
“OK.”
“OK.”
Barry reached out his hand and I placed my palm in his, he laced our fingers and led me to my bedroom.
He stood by the door, uncertain, vulnerable. What was happening to Barry? I knew he didn’t get attached, I knew he didn’t stay behind. Why was he doing it tonight? Did he want something more? Or was he just tired?
The exhaustion was overtaking me, my mind fogging. I lay on the bed and tapped the empty space beside me. In two strides he was by the bed. Barry climbed in behind me, wrapping himself around me. The heat from his chest scorching me, his heartbeat thudding through me in an uncertain beat.
He lay a soft kiss on my shoulder, tightening his hold.
“Jane?”
“Mm mm?” I purred half asleep as he trailed more kissed along my shoulder.
“Do you think you will ever consider me for more than just a late-night call?”
I was surprised. He might have felt the jolt in my body as his tight arm loosened around me. I grabbed it and pulled it back across my bare skin.
“Like date?”
“Like spend some time with each other with our clothes on, maybe even have a conversation.”
“That depends, how much time will we be spending with our clothes on?”
I could feel his smile against my shoulder, but he nudged me. “Jane.”
“I didn’t think it was anything you wanted.”
His chest heaved against my back. “I didn’t think it was either. Until you.”
Was I really Barry’s type? Barry didn't have a type, he had girls, loads of them, all lined up. Could I trust him? Would he give up all his many many many late-night calls just for me? and if I dated Barry, what would happen with Leon? I wanted Leon, needed Leon.
Leon.
But Leon was just a dream, despite his many promises there were no guarantees.
“You can’t trust him Jane.” Gabriel came to sit on the edge of the bed and flicked my hair away from my face.
“I want to,” I replied.
Barry squeezed me tighter again. “Good.”
Shit did I say that out loud?
“Good night Jane.” He lay a final soft peck on my shoulder and I could feel his body relax around me.
My head fogged with thoughts and questions until I fell into a deep sleep, my body no longer able to hang on.
I dreamed vividly of Barry. Wrapping myself around his arms and legs holding on to his strong heavy torso.
When I woke up, I was sweating and sore, my ass tender and my pussy satisfied. True to his promise Barry was gone. I didn’t know if I was disappointed or happy, but I had time now to process and think and digest. My head throbbed. My arms and legs hurt as if I had run a marathon. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. My eyes puffy and tired as if I hadn’t slept at all. I was wearing a white singlet that I didn’t remember putting on.
A few droplets of blood stained the rim. I studied my face. A small scratch decorated my chin. Barry and I must have gotten rougher than I thought.
I washed my face and got ready for the day.
When I didn’t hear back from Barry for an entire week, I got pissed. There he was running to my door, fucking me within an inch of my life, staying over, proposing something more, opening up, being sweet and un-Barry like, and then never even calling.
That was very Barry like.
I wanted to crack. The entire week I felt the undertow of his pull. It was in everything. I growled at customers for no reason, I scowled at Gabriel who only wanted to help, I ignored Leon, and poor Mia suffered the consequences of my wrath. My pages burned with anger and reeked of disappointment.
On the seventh day, I broke.
I broke because I was pissed off at being pissed off all the time, but more so, and if I’m being really honest, I liked the idea that Barry liked me. I wanted it to be true. I wanted try and maybe find a sweet side to his cockiness, a soft side to his arrogance, a gentle side to the beast that fucked me. Maybe I could set aside my fantasies of Leon and dedicate myself to Barry.
Fuck it. Fuck him.
The phone was picked up after the second ring.
I was expecting the usual 19, instead, I got a gruff hello.
“Hello?”
“Hello,” the new voice repeated.
“I am looking for Barry?”
The voice chuckled. “You and a bunch of other disappointed girls.”
I didn’t miss the implications in his voice. Yeah well, fuck him. “Who is this, and where is Barry?”
“My name is Phil, I’ve taken over for Barry as building manager and maintenance, so if that is the reason you are calling, I apologise. Do you need anything fixed sweetheart?”
“Jane! Where is Barry?”
“No one seems to know.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed, “I mean, he abandoned a job half finished last week, and hasn’t been heard from since. His wallet and phone are gone and some clothes.” I could almost hear him shrugging, his voice bored, how many women has he repeated this to? “Owner said he must have had a tiff with one of his girls, maybe got one pregnant and decided to bolt.”
I stood there. Was I waiting for more?
New man voice cleared its throat on the other end of the line, “So did you need me to fix something sweetheart?”
I ended the call.
2005
Dating Björn was like waking every day from a crushing and exquisite wet dream. The man was just that, a man, everywhere. At work, with his duties in the bedroom. He was magnificent. The only real damper on my moods which were usually chipper, was Gabriel.
He had become a skulky mess, like a wolf pacing his enclosure, wanting to protect what’s his, but bowing to the alpha. I could see the snarling teeth and ache in his eyes as he watched us in bed. I could feel his desire as he watched Björn move ab
ove me, inside me.
I could hear the whispers in my ear, the sweet invitation, the promises that he could do better, make it last longer, and when still I had pushed him away, he became sour and angry. His face drawn and severe.
When we had time alone, Gabriel would thaw, but his spark was gone. The blustery coal of desire was exchanged for an ice blue fiery coal that burned with hate and anger. Gabriel’s words became flat. And so did our final book. The book that was meant to bring it all together, tie up loose ends and make our readers weep and cringe and sigh and clutch at their chest as they turned each page. This was the book that would cement us into the history books, the one that meant I could probably not write again for a few years if I didn’t want to. It would give me all the comforts and desires my heart could possibly want.
Yet the more I tried to write, the less I succeeded. Sentences lingered unfinished; words hung in the air as I pleaded with him. I needed him to be my Gabriel, but to that, he replied that he didn’t feel like he was mine.
Looking back, there was only one other time I had seen him lose his spark, but it was short-lived, and reignited abruptly the day of the accident.
I clacked aimlessly at my keyboard, the lines a slurry mess of mismatched words and poorly chosen adjectives.
I threw my hands up in the air and glared at my wild, tortured wolf. “I need you.”
“I don’t believe you.” He gave me a sour glare baring his fangs.
“Oh, don’t be like that. You know I will always love you Gabe babe.”
At that, he swung his body to face me. “You know I hate when you call me that.”
I smirked. “But at least I have your attention.”
He huffed folding his arms across his chest.
“Come here, Gabriel, let me make it up to you. I need you.” I used my huskiest voice, the one that got his ears to prick up and the hair to stand on his body.
“No.”
I turned back to my computer and began typing. The words might not be amazing but the result would be.
I typed:
Mia stuck out her tongue and licked her top lip, it glistened with moisture. She stared into Gabriel’s deep dark eyes and found there, all the hurt and pain he had been carrying, torment and fear. All she wanted was to soothe him, be the balm that would glue him back together.
Guarding Gabriel Page 11
