by Emily N. Kay
I look at him with confusion, a breath caught in my throat. After saying all these things––opening up to him––he still doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy.
“Tell me about it.” I look away. “Sometimes I feel like my self-worth is shaped by how others make me feel.”
“Look,” he begins, fidgeting with his collar like he’s feeling uneasy talking about this, “you will find a guy who––” He pauses. “Who look at you the way you want to…”
I hold my breath, my heart going wild as I meet his piercing gaze. And it’s like he can see through me.
“Your friend Jacob can be that for you… if you let him.”
I hold his gaze. “I do know that. I know that Jacob can be the one. But… I don’t think that’s what I want,” I finally say, my voice a whisper. I swallow a lump down my throat. “I don’t want to only be loved. I want to at least feel something in return.”
Both of us become quiet. What the hell did I just say? It’s the cheesiest thing I’ve said in my entire life. And why did I have to say it to him of all people? I’ve said too much to him already.
Suddenly, Nick’s face slowly moves closer to me, his eyes locked on my lips. My face heats up and my heart is racing. Our faces are merely inches apart. I think back to when I kiss him on an impulse and I wonder how it would feel kissing him for real…
“You’re too close,” I find myself saying, not daring to lift my eyes from his lips.
Nick snaps out of it, immediately moving his face away and clearing his throat. “Sorry.”
My eyes automatically move past him to the clock on his wall. I feign a small gasp. “We’re twenty minutes past our time.” I sling my cross-body purse across my shoulder and get up. “It was great talking to you.” I intend to be sarcastic, but I also mean it.
“Relax,” he tells me with a smile that doesn’t seem to meet his eyes. “No one is keeping the time here. It’s just us.”
I turn my head to look at him, and my stomach turns to knots. “That’s true,” I say. “But it’s not part of the deal to extend the time, is it?”
With a flash of disappointment on his face, he shrugs. “Fine. I’ll see you at school then.”
Chapter 18
Lacey: Are you available for tonight? Anna is sick and she can’t make it to her appointment. This client just needs someone to pose as his girlfriend for the night. It’s just a one-time thing. I won’t ask this of you if it’s not urgent (and your regular client would kill me if he knows). I’d do it myself but I can’t tonight, and there’s no one else available. So pleaseeeee?
I read the text from Lacey while trying to hide my phone under the table from Mr. Douglass.
It almost feels like I’m already out of Vixens ever since the deal with Nick. I consider helping Lacey out. She is desperate, and I want to help her. But then I’d have to hide it from Nick. I’ll be betraying my blackmailer, and I can’t help but feel guilty. Which sounds pretty fucked up.
But this is not a usual appointment, a thought flashes. I just need to pretend to be the guy’s girlfriend. It’s not like I have to be alone in a room, or do something with him or anything, right?
After taking some time thinking, I finally text Lacey back: I’ll do this for you.
Then I send her another one: BTW, after this one, I’m done. Thank you for everything Lacey.
It’s Tuesday, which means that I’d have to go home late on a school night. So, I call my mom and let her know that I’ll have late dinner with Zoe and Leo tonight. This is going to be the last lie I’ll have to tell her, I promise myself.
After school, I quickly head back home to get ready. This client booked me for five hours––the longest I’ve been booked. The event we’re supposed to attend is held at a hotel rooftop bar. In the fifth avenue. I can already picture how fancy this event is going to be. So I shuffle through my mom’s closet, and I pick out the perfect dress. It’s the dress that she often wears to social events with her friends––a red, slip-on silky dress that fits me perfectly, though it looks much shorter on me.
I move on to doing my hair and makeup. I decide to browse through Youtube for the best tutorial for this kind of event. I go with the simple, elegant look, with red lips as the focal point. I straightened my hair, then I apply some hair serum to add some glossy shine to it. And when I’m done, I look as perfect as I can be. It’s my last time after all.
I’m on the way to meet my client at the parking lot on the fifth floor as he suggested we do. To be discreet, I suppose.
I walk toward the silhouette of a man standing in the corner of the parking lot. I squint my eyes to make out the shape. The man is short and on the skinnier side.
“Luke Sutton?” I call out, walking slowly toward him, the sound of my heels echoing through this quiet place.
The man turns his head around, moving quickly toward me. “Shh, be quiet,” he hisses, looking around.
“There’s… no one here.”
“I know, I just need to be sure.”
Luke then leads me to the elevator, pressing the button. I observe him as I can now see him clearly. He is a head shorter than me, and he has a sharp face and very little hair. Not a very handsome man, to be frank. His suit is all wrinkled and his face is dotted with sweats. He must be anxious––that everyone will see through him and find out that I’m not really his girlfriend.
I notice that he is staring at me too, a frown on his face. “You look younger than I thought.”
“Sorry. The other girl couldn’t make it...”
He lets out a huff of air. “You’ll have to do. At least you’re pretty.” He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Too pretty…”
When we’re inside the elevator, he turns to me. “Listen, I’m going to need you to do a couple of things for me tonight.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“Good. First, your name is Clarissa Jones––”
I crack up at that, but the serious look he’s throwing at me shuts me up.
He goes on, “Second, you are my girlfriend. And third, your job is to be close to me at all times. Do not wander around. And if someone tries to engage with you, do nothing, and I’ll take care of it.”
I nod, swallowing down the fear that starts to set in. I’m not going to lie, this is very nerve-wracking––pretending to be someone else’s girlfriend. Not to mention, attending an event for grown-ups, where I definitely don’t belong.
“What kind of event is this anyway?”
“A reunion. High school reunion,” he spits. “I’m going to show these pricks that I can have a girlfriend. They all thought that I’ll be forever alone, for the rest of my life. I’m here to prove them wrong.”
I bite back a retort that he doesn’t really have a girlfriend, and the fact that he has to hire one is actually pathetic. But at the same time I feel bad for him. He must’ve been bullied so bad. And I hate bullies. So this makes me more determined to do a good job, and to be the best escort. For the last time.
“I also expect you to engage with me––physically. Can you do that?”
I draw in a breath. “How… physical are we talking here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a kiss or two? Just follow my lead. Oh, and most important thing of all, when tonight’s over, we’re done. We won’t see each other again. So don’t get attached, okay?”
I try my hardest not to snort when I realize he’s not joking. “Yes, sir.”
When we get off, my jaw drops at the sight. Everything is what I’ve imagined it to be. The wall behind the bar is decorated with fairy lights. Women are in their cocktail dresses and the guys are all wearing nice ties, each holding a glass of pastel-colored champagne.
Suddenly I’ve become self-conscious about how young I must look among these people. Who is going to believe that Luke and I are a couple?
No. I can do this. I’m a wearing a perfect dress for the occasion. I take a deep breath, lifting my head high and keeping my face composed.
Waiters are walking around with a tray of champagne glasses. Vampire Weekend is blasting so loudly I wonder how these people can even hear each other.
“Ready?” Luke turns to me with his elbow out.
I smile tightly and put my arm around his. We walk slowly to the crowd, my heart pounding so hard against my chest.
Heads start to turn as Luke and I approach. I can see the surprise and confusion in their eyes as they take me in. Their eyes move from me, to Luke, and then to our linking arms. Their mouths gape open. A woman turns to her friend, covering her mouth. Very inconspicuous, I think. The friend whips her head toward us, and she outwardly gasps.
“Hey guys,” Luke says loudly against the music, his voice a little shaky. “Been a long time.”
“Luke freaking Sutton?” A good-looking guy from a small group of crowds comes forward, glaring at us with disbelief. “My God, man! Look at you.”
“Hello Keith.” Luke directs a smug smile at him. “This is my girlfriend, Clarissa.” He nudges me forward proudly.
I give out the best smile I could muster. “Clarissa Jones. Nice to meet you.”
“Girlfriend, huh?” Another guy approaches with a raised eyebrow. “I thought she was your younger cousin, but whatever.” He cracks a laugh. “Who would’ve thought that today would come, am I right?” The guy nudges Keith for support. But Keith is still speechless as he studies me head to toe.
These guys are rude. I tighten my arm around Luke’s. “I’m offended you thought I’m his cousin. Luke is an amazing boyfriend,” I say, leaning my head against Luke’s shoulder. He will thank me later.
Luke tenses and forces out a chuckle. “Excuse us,” Luke says hastily, leading me away. Then he hisses through his teeth, “What are you doing! I told you not to say anything.”
I gawk at him. “I was just trying to help. They were so mean to you!”
“Well don’t! It’ll seem obvious that you’re trying too hard. It’s already a mystery enough that a girl like you is dating me.”
I look at him with sympathy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. It won’t happen again.”
“Good.” His gaze softens, his shoulders more relaxed.
We greet some more people, and I keep my mouth shut. I’m smiling and occasionally laughing, pretending to understand whatever they’re talking about. I feel like my cheeks are going numb from all the forced smiles I’ve had to make.
When we walk over to the bar, Luke orders us each a martini. And it’s too late to tell him that I’m eighteen, so I just let it go and accept the drink. I mean, it’s not a big deal to me anyway. I drink with my mom all the time. Mom feeds me alcohol since I was fourteen. She said a girl needs to build her tolerance. “You need to learn your limit, or else you will be plied with drinks from bad men,” she had said when she first handed me my first cocktail. And surprisingly, it turned out that I have a pretty high tolerance. For that, I’ve been her drinking buddy ever since––in the comfort of our apartment, of course. She won’t risk buying me drinks outside.
Luke and I talk for a while. He tells me that he has never asked a girl out before. He’s afraid that all the stuff those bullies told him were all true––that he’s not good enough to score a girlfriend, and that he’s a loser. That is why he never has the courage to ask anyone out––because he knows it’s true. He says he hates how he looks, and he especially hates how short he is.
I look at him with sympathy. How horrible it must feel to wake up every morning and see yourself in the mirror and hate the sight of it. I’ve never had that feeling before, and now I don’t want to.
“Why are you telling me all this?” I ask.
“Because I’ll never have to see you again.”
“That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it?” I smile. “Fair enough. You can say whatever you want to me, and I won’t judge you.”
He finally looks at me in the eye and flashes me a genuine smile. “If only you’re older, Alice, I would’ve fallen for you.”
That makes me happy more than it should. I tilt my head forward. “I’m very honored.”
“Anyway, I need to use the restroom,” he says, hopping out of the bar stool. He walks away, but then he turns back and points at me. “Stay,” he orders like I’m his pet dog.
“Yes, sir,” I mutter.
Sipping on my drink, I observe the floor. There are a lot more people now, almost filling up the whole floor. A small group of people are dancing like crazy on the dance area. I watch them with amazement. It’s good to see that you can still be silly when you are a full-grown adult.
I move my gaze to take in the view of the City at night. It’s magnificent up here. Looking out to the City, I pretend that I can see everything. I picture my mom reading the latest issue of Hello! and drinking a glass of white wine in our living room. Then I imagine Zoe painting her toe nails while Facetiming Leo.
And I don’t know why, but my thought trails to Nick. I think of how nice it would be if we could be here for one of our weekly appointments instead of having to be within the confines of his apartment. Just once… I wish we could go outside.
Wait, why am I even thinking about Nick?
And when I wasn’t with him, I’d think about him… Zoe’s words travel back to me.
No way…
“Alice?”
A voice calls me from across the bar, interrupting my imagination.
I look up to see the person, and my stomach drops. “Tyler?” I whisper, and my entire body is frozen.
Tyler Hanson, as in Nick’s best friend, is sitting at the bar across from me.
Chapter 19
I glare at Tyler in horror as he walks over and takes Luke’s seat.
This cannot be happening right now. Nick can’t know that I’m here. And Luke can’t know that I know Tyler!
“What the hell are you doing here?” Tyler asks, confused. “Nick brought you here? He’s already here then. Where is he?”
I open my mouth but I can’t form a word. So Nick is supposed to be here too? Great… Just fucking great.
Tyler raises his brow, waiting for my answer. After a while, his face falls. “Nick doesn’t know you’re here, does he…”
I nod, gulping down the last of my martini. “But it’s not what you think. I can explain.” I look behind Tyler to see if Luke has come back. No sign of him yet.
Tyler’s handsome face hardens. “Are you here with a client?”
“Sort of,” I quickly say. “But it’s not like that. What––what are you doing here anyway?”
“A reunion.” His face tells me, duh. “I hope I walk into the right place.” He pretends to look around.
This means––Tyler knows Luke. They must know each other if they went to the same goddamn school! Oh no…
“Listen, I’m here pretending to be someone’s girlfriend. So please don’t say anything. And please act like you don’t know me. He is going to come back any minute now, and I can’t be seen talking to you,” I speak so fast I think I’m hyperventilating.
Tyler puts a hand through his hair. “Um, okay… but Nick is kinda on his way here now…” His throat moves, and I think that he’s actually nervous for me. “I don’t know how to say this––but you’re screwed.”
As if I don’t know that already!
“I thought he’s from LA,” I stupidly say.
“He was attending high school here. That’s how we met. That douche ditched me when he went back home to LA after he graduated.”
“Ugh,” I grunt, brushing a piece of my hair away from my face. “This isn’t a small city and I keep running into him.”
Tyler rolls his eyes as if to say, tell me about it.
I watch him, and suddenly I’m flustered. “It’s all because of you, you know.”
His brow shoots up. He points a finger at himself. “Me? You’re blaming me?” Tyler lets out a frustrated sound. “God, you’re such a kid.”
Heat rushes to my face, and I say back, “You’re a kid for pulling a pran
k like that on Nick.”
Tyler blows out a breath, then a whistle. “Okay. Now I get why Nick is so interested in you.” He glares at me with a smirk. “You look good tonight, Alice,” he says, but then he grins. “For an eighteen-year-old.”
I let out an annoyed choking noise. “And you look––” So handsome in that suit… “Very mature,” I spit.
He cracks a triumphant smile. “I know. I’m very handsome.” He cocks his head and narrows his eyes at me. “What’s with you two anyway? I might be handsome, but I’m not an idiot.” I raise my brow. He ignores me with a straight face and continues, “I can see there’s something going on between you two. And I mean, it still creeps me out that you’re his student, but––”
“I see you’ve met my girlfriend, Clarissa,” Luke announces himself, walking toward us with a firm smile. “Tyler Hanson, looking handsome as usual.”
“Clarissa?” Tyler’s brow moves up, an amused smile dancing on his face. “Okay. Nice to meet you, Clarissa. I didn’t catch your name earlier. My bad.” He clicks his tongue.
I avoid his gaze and turning to Luke with a quick smile. “Luke! You’re back.”
“What were you two talking about?” Luke asks sharply with piercing eyes sliding between the two of us.
Tyler shrugs. “Just seeing a beautiful girl sitting at the bar alone, a guy’s gotta strike a conversation, don’t you think?” He gives Luke a wink. “I’m sorry. Had no idea she’s your girlfriend. What a lucky guy you are.”
“Still the same Tyler Hansen, I see. Old habits really die hard.” Luke smiles coldly. “Well now you know,” he says smugly, putting his arm around my waist.
“Tell me,” Tyler says, eyes squinting, “how did you two meet? I mean, it’s my favorite story to hear––how a couple met.”
I hold my breath.
Luke’s cheek twitches, his gaze steady on Tyler. “We met through my cousin’s wedding. She’s one of the bride’s friends. And I asked her out. End of story.”
I look at him, impressed. He’s a good liar.
