“What was the argument about?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
“Jameson, I’ve been a married woman for almost forty years. I think I have some insight into these matters.”
“It’s nothing, Mom.”
She grabbed my elbow. “Listen to me,” she said, looking me in the eyes. “Apologize. Promise to watch your words in the future and then let it go.”
“Easier said than done,” I muttered.
“Yes, it is, but be a man and apologize for pissing off your future wife or hurting her feelings. If it was the latter, shame on you. Paislee is a nice girl and she deserves to be treated with respect.”
“Got it,” I said and walked away.
I didn’t need to hear the lecture. I knew I fucked up. I made it to the music room only to find it empty. Where in the hell was she?
I spent another hour roaming the hotel grounds in an attempt to find her. I smiled and played it cool whenever an employee or guest saw me. I didn’t want them to see me stressed out while I searched for my wayward fiancée.
When I couldn’t find her, I began to panic. Would she have left?
Part of me knew she would. She would leave everything behind and go home. Hell, she could have already been back to the room while I searched the hotel.
Chapter 28
Paislee
The door flung open, grabbing my attention. If I was at home, I would have been reaching for the baseball bat we kept under the couch. I wasn’t home. I was in Jamaica.
It wasn’t a burglar busting through the door, unless you counted the thief of my virginity as a burglar. I shot him a dirty look and returned my focus to my notebook. I was busy putting down lyrics to go with the melody he’d inspired.
Who knew him pissing me off could inspire me so much? If I ever made an album, I would dedicate it to him. I jotted down a few words. I was going to work them into the song.
His dark eyes sparked another creative frenzy.
“There you are!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Oops, did I forget my leash?”
“Where were you?”
“I went for a walk. Didn’t you tell me the schedule was clear? Was I supposed to check with you? Ask your permission?”
“Stop. You know that’s not what this is about.”
“What is it about?” I snapped.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“You did that. I didn’t like what you said.”
He walked in and flopped down on the couch. The guy looked pretty stressed. I could admit that gave me a little satisfaction.
“Paislee, we need to talk about this.”
“We did. It’s over.”
“No, you walked out.”
“I’m about to walk out again,” I told him.
I refused to look at him. Looking at him made me soften my attitude toward him. I needed to stay pissed. I needed to be mad or I was going to be stumbling over myself to get next to him. At some point, the fake in our relationship turned into something very real for me. That was not good.
I’d developed feelings for a man that I could never have. I gave him the one thing I had to offer to my husband, and now, I had nothing.
“Paislee, I’m sorry.”
“Good.”
“You’re not making this easy.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy.”
“What can I do to make this better?”
I looked up from my notebook. “What is it you want to make better?”
He threw his hands up. “I don’t know. Whatever it is that pissed you off.”
I looked at him to see if he was being serious. “You seriously don’t know?”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t.”
“You said I was going to beg you for sex.”
He smirked. It was the exact wrong response. He quickly wiped away the insulting expression. “It was a joke.”
“Yeah, see me laughing?”
“I had a good time. You said you didn’t regret it.”
“I’m starting to.”
He looked hurt by the words. “I’ll go. Clearly, you’re upset. I, however, am in a great mood. I had a kickass sexual experience. After a person gets laid, they are supposed to be happy.”
He rose from the couch and walked to the door. I couldn’t believe he was going to walk out after saying something so callous. That was exactly what he did. He left without saying another damn word.
I looked around and found my sandal. I grabbed it and threw it at the door. He made me violent. I was never one to throw things at people. Technically, I was throwing it at the door and not him, but I wouldn’t have been sad if the shoe would have knocked him upside the head. Someone needed to slap some sense into him.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my face. This was why I never wanted to sleep with a man. I didn’t know how to compartmentalize. Sex was an act of love. I had been taught from a very young age that sex was to be treated with respect.
Giving my body away to any man that said a kind word or flattered me took away from my value. At least, that was what the sisters drilled into us. They never came right out and told us to become nuns, but they wouldn’t have been sad if we chose to.
I needed to get out of the room. I thought I would be okay sitting and writing. I couldn’t stop looking toward the bedroom. It was the place that my life changed.
No matter how angry I was with him right then, I was not going to regret what happened. I chose to give him my virginity. I couldn’t blame him. He never pushed me into anything. It would have been easier if I could blame it on him and the alcohol, but I couldn’t.
“All on you,” I muttered and got to my feet. I pulled the sheet of paper from the notebook and shoved it into the back of my jean shorts.
I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I needed to get out of the room. I needed to go to mass or confession. No, scratch that. I had not been to confession in years and I was not a saint. I would keep the poor priest busy for hours.
I stuffed the phone in my purse and slung it over my shoulder before putting on my sunglasses and leaving the room. I was going to play tourist.
I strolled with purpose through the lobby and had almost made it to the door when I heard my name being called. I didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. I pasted on a smile and turned to see Julia rushing toward me.
“Hey, you,” she exclaimed.
“Hi.”
“Where are you off to?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was thinking about doing a little sightseeing.”
“You can’t go alone.”
“Why not?”
“It isn’t safe. I’ll go with you.”
My face probably said it all. “Are you sure? Do you have other stuff to do?”
She pouted. “You don’t want me to go?”
“No, no, I just thought you had a lot to do with the opening.”
She laughed. “No, not really. I did my thing. I’d love to come with you if you don’t mind.”
“I would love that,” I told her and gave her a quick hug.
I was glad to have her along. It would be good to have a distraction. The last thing I wanted to do was get all in my head about him. I didn’t want to think about him. I didn’t want to examine the feelings I felt myself developing for him. I needed space. I needed to clear my head of him and sex and kissing.
I was hoping with a clear head, I would see my feelings weren’t real. They were a product of the intimate nature of staying in the same room and the dancing. The story of us falling in love was sinking in. We had told it so many times, I started to believe it.
“Is everything okay?” she asked as we walked out of the hotel and headed in the general direction of town.
“Yes, great.”
“Uh oh. That was just a little too high-pitched. What did he do?”
“Nothing. He is going to be busy today and I thought it would be nice to see the city before
we leave tomorrow.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “You don’t have to pretend.”
“What?” I almost choked. She knew? How? Did he tell her?
“No couple gets along great all the time. You are both smart, passionate people. I imagine that electricity between you makes for some really hot sex.”
Again, I almost choked. I didn’t know what to say. Bella sometimes told me about her sexual experiences, so I was just going to take a page from her book. “It’s pretty hot,” I said with a blush.
“I have a theory, but you can’t tell Jay I told you. And full disclosure, I have not had a successful relationship. However, I do know a lot about sex.”
I turned and looked at her with one eyebrow raised. “Oh really?”
“It’s not that I’m a ho, but I have had my fair share of boyfriends. Never have I felt or seen the kind of passion I see between the two of you. I envy you. However, I have had some really good sex with a few of my boyfriends. We always burned hot and fast and then it was over. We eventually found we had nothing in common or we didn’t really like each other.”
“Are you saying Jay and I aren’t compatible?” I didn’t know why I cared. It wasn’t like it mattered. We weren’t actually a couple.
“No, I’m saying you guys have something special. I see the way you guys just kind of gravitate toward one another. He looks at you in a way he’s never looked at anyone else. I’m a little jealous I’ve never found a guy who looks at me like that.”
“Don’t be jealous,” I told her. She was making me feel guilty. I hated lying to her. She had no idea that it was all bullshit. We could win an Oscar for our performance. “It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.”
“I don’t expect it to be. That’s the beauty of it. You guys fight and make up. You have a home base. You know that no matter how cranky you are, you get to kiss and makeup. I cannot wait to find that in a man.”
I just smiled. I didn’t want to burst her bubble. I knew what she was talking about. I wanted that too. I was supposed to have that with my husband. I was terrified I wouldn’t get that now.
Rationally, I knew it was silly to put so much stock in my virginity, but it was something I held on to for so long.
“I have no doubt in my mind you will find the perfect man,” I told her.
Like an expert, she raised her hand to hail us a cab. She was a world traveler, and I was going to follow her lead. I let her be my tour guide.
I found myself actually having fun. The drama with Jay was forgotten for a few precious hours. I really liked his sister. She was fun and unpretentious. She and Jay were nothing alike. He tended to be serious and uptight while she was fun and carefree.
“Thank you for hanging with me today,” I told her when we got back to the hotel.
“Anytime. I hope we can spend some time together when we get back to New York.”
“I’d like that.”
As I walked back to the room, I mulled over it all. The whole lie. Everything.
I was selling myself short. I needed to get out of this deal while I still had a shred of dignity. I would find a way to pay him for his stupid car. I would get a second job. A third job. I would find a way because I could not do this anymore.
I would get through tomorrow and that was that.
That night, I chose to sleep on the couch. I wasn’t interested in sleeping in the bed with or without him. I wanted nothing to do with that bed or the memory it held.
Oddly enough, he didn’t ask. He accepted the change in the sleeping arrangements without question. We exchanged only a few words that night. He stayed in the bedroom while I stayed in the living room and watched TV.
I think we both knew it was over. I was sad that it was ending and that we wouldn’t be able to be friends after this. This was exactly why I avoided sex. I had seen Bella cry too many times after being dumped.
There was something intimate about sharing one’s body. Period. I did not want to be left crying when Jay called an end to our fake relationship.
I wanted to bow out before I got to the point that I was going to be left in tears.
Chapter 29
Jameson
I slept like shit. The bed was perfect, but it felt wrong to be sleeping in the bed with her on the couch. I was still a little confused about what had gone wrong.
She said she didn’t regret the sex. I had a feeling that was bullshit. I had only myself to blame. I should have just kept my dick in my pants and my hands off the goods.
I blamed her. She was too damn sexy and she didn’t even know it. That was a very attractive quality. I loved that she practically floated when she walked. She had an easy smile, and despite her worry about not having anything in common with the people we were schmoozing with, she seemed to have a conversation with all of them.
I was hoping she was going to be in a better mood today. I hoped she had slept off the anger and we could go back to normal. Even if I didn’t get to take her to bed again, I wanted to have that friendship we had developed. I didn’t have a lot of friends. Hell, Ashton was probably my closest friend and I paid him.
I got out of bed and paused at the closed door. I wasn’t sure what I would do if she was gone. I opened the door, and I felt her absence. She wasn’t there.
My stomach dropped as I stepped into the open living area. I saw a scrap of paper on the table and picked it up.
“My bags are packed. I’m ready for the photo op. I’ll be in the restaurant.”
It wasn’t exactly a warm and fuzzy letter, but at least she’d left me something. Her bags were near the door. I must have slept hard. I never heard her pack or leave.
I was sure that was her goal. She didn’t want to see me. She didn’t want to have breakfast with me. Hell, she didn’t even want us to share coffee together.
I showered and changed before packing my few things. My first reaction was to meet her in the restaurant. I thought better of it. I had a feeling she would not be pleased to see me. I didn’t want to risk causing a scene, especially if my family was within earshot.
I headed for my office instead. I tied up some loose ends and handed the reins over to the manager. Then it was time to meet in the lobby for the photo op with my family and Paislee. I tried to talk my mother out of the photo for the brochure, but she insisted. She said Paislee was a part of the family. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that was not true.
I found my mother and Julia talking near the fountain. I knew that look. I stopped walking and almost made a quick escape when my mother spotted me. “Jameson,” she called out.
I took a deep breath and smiled. “Yes?”
“Where is Paislee?”
“She’ll be meeting us here,” I said.
She put her hands on her hips. “Have you still not made up?”
“I spent the day with her yesterday,” Julia said in a conspiratorial tone. “He did something to hurt her feelings.”
They both turned and glared at me.
“I did not,” I argued. “Don’t even start trying to gang up on me.”
“I told you to apologize,” my mother scolded. “Do not tell me you are too proud. That is never going to lead to a happy marriage.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
Just then, Paislee appeared. She was wearing another sundress. This one gave her an hourglass figure with the waist tucked in tight. It was a pretty yellow and pink that hit just below her knees. It was classic and pretty, just like I had come to expect from her. I noticed this one was just a little more conservative with a much higher bodice. I was bummed I wouldn’t get to see any cleavage but relieved no one else would be seeing it either.
“Hi, everyone,” she said with a bright smile.
“I love your dress,” Julia told her. “I absolutely love your style.”
“You could take some pointers from her,” my mother said.
That was something the two of them often argued about. Julia was a risky dresser. She had no problem flaunti
ng what she had. My mother insisted she tone it down, which just made Julia dress even bolder.
“The photographer is waiting,” Julia said.
“Where to?” I asked.
“Follow me,” my mother said.
I glanced over at Paislee. She was still not speaking to me. She walked around me to walk with Julia. That was on purpose. I felt the tension between us and hoped no one else was catching it. We managed to get through the photoshoot without anyone picking up on the fight we were embroiled in.
“Is it just us?” Paislee asked as we walked to our waiting car. It was the first time she’d spoken to me since yesterday.
“Yes. My parents and Julia will be staying a few more days. This is something my dad has wanted for a long time.”
“I see.”
Nothing else was said until we were in the air. I had a coffee service arranged along with a small, light breakfast. I was hungry. I wasn’t sure if she ate, but I was going to eat. “Can you pass the cream?” she murmured.
I handed it to her and continued reading from my tablet. I had apologized. There wasn’t much else I could do. We still had a few more appearances to make. We needed to keep things cordial.
“The car is waiting for us,” I told her as the plane started to land.
“I’ll take a cab.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll take a cab. I don’t need you to drop me off. I know my way home.”
“I can get you home,” I told her.
“It doesn’t make sense for you to go that far out of your way. I’d rather take a cab.”
I wasn’t going to argue. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“I plan to.”
“Do you think you can look at me?” I snapped. I wasn’t one to just let shit go. I hated leaving things unsaid. I had to get into it.
She gave me a dirty look. “I’m looking at you.”
“Don’t be immature.”
“Sorry, this is who I am.”
“Why don’t you yell at me? Just get it all out and let’s move on. This is stupid.”
“Stupid?” she scoffed. “That’s exactly why I can’t with you.”
Pay Up Hot Stuff: A Billionaire Fake Fiancée Romance Page 18
