And none of it changed anything. I was still not the girl they wanted.
I was still too much.
Just too much of something else.
“Are they mistakes if they brought you to me?” Gypsy’s hand on my thigh squeezes. “Keep eating.”
I scoop up the rest of the salad because it’s easier to do what Gypsy says than to answer his question. I chew the bite as long as I can, hoping he will move on.
Because facing the truth of where I stand is something I’m not sure I can do. Accepting that I failed in spite of my best intentions is one thing.
Acknowledging and owning that failure is another. Not because I failed, I do that often.
But because of what that failure means. The vulnerable position it’s put me in.
I close the empty container and drop it into the bag before fishing out one tray of sushi. I use the lid to concoct a mixture of soy sauce and wasabi before dipping in a roll and turning toward Gypsy.
He’s ready and waiting, but not for a bite.
“Were they mistakes, Felicity?”
Damn it.
There’s no way out. No way to avoid giving him an answer. One that will reveal so much more than that single bit of truth. “No.”
He barely nods.
I hold up the roll. “You like sushi?”
“I do.” He smiles.
“Almost as much as I like you.”
12
THE SINGLE-STORY brick house looks unassuming enough, but inside hides the most terrifying thing men like me ever face.
A woman’s father.
Felicity hasn’t made a move to get out of the car. She sits quietly in the passenger’s seat, staring at the house in front of us. Slowly her hand reaches across the car to find mine. “Don’t worry.”
“Not worried.”
It’s not a lie.
I’m fucking terrified.
Fathers don’t typically want their daughters to bring home someone with a criminal past. Someone who’s broken windows and laws and bodies.
Felicity’s dad is probably no different.
“He’s not what you should worry about anyway.” Felicity gives my hand a squeeze then jumps out of the car, robbing me of the chance to keep sitting right where I’m at. I open my door and climb out, the beat of my heart hitching when the door to the house opens. The man who steps onto the covered porch is obviously the primary contributor to Felicity’s height. He’s at least six four, lean, and long-limbed.
“Hey, Daddy.” Felicity gives him a little smile.
“Beanpole.” Felicity’s dad smiles wide and rushes toward her, wrapping her in a tight hug. “What in the heck are you doing here?”
She barely hesitates. Just long enough to come up with an excuse for showing up unannounced. “I had a few days off and thought I’d come down and surprise you.”
Felicity sounds different already. Her shoulders are already softer, her smile easier.
If I’d known how much she needed to come home I would have brought her weeks ago.
Her daddy’s eyes move to where I stand, sizing me up in the way I expected he would. I give him a smile and a nod.
Felicity steps from his embrace and toward me. “Daddy, this is...”
I reach my hand out. “Cody.”
Felicity’s sharp breath threatens to steal my attention. “Nice to meet you, sir.”
Her daddy shakes my hand the way a man who means business does. A little too tight. A little too long.
“Same.” He leans to one side, peeking over my shoulder. “That your car?”
“It is.” I keep shaking his hand. I’ll stand here all day if he wants. I want him to see I’m man enough to take care of his little girl. That I’m not some pussy in a suit, scared of a little intimidation. Honestly, if I was I would have run like hell away from his daughter.
I’m sure it’s happened to my girl a few times.
Finally he releases my grip. “Call me Vance.”
I nod. “I appreciate that.”
This dance is all about respect. Showing Vance I respect his place in Felicity’s life. That I appreciate the way he’s taken care of her.
And then hope he’s okay with adding me to the team.
Because I don’t get to be the only man who takes care of her. Not when there’s been one who’s done it for almost thirty years before me.
More than one in Felicity’s case.
“You had this long?” Vance slow steps up the side of my car, eyeing it as he goes.
“Couple years. Found it in a junk yard.”
His head snaps my way. “No shit?” He gives a low whistle. “Most people don’t appreciate these.” He points to the door. “Can I look inside?”
“Of course.” I grab the handle and open it for him, watching as Vance looks at my car with the same gleam in his eyes as his daughter.
Felicity didn’t just get her height and build from this man.
Vance settles into the seat, gripping the wheel with both hands. “This is a few years newer than the one I had when I met Fel’s momma.” His expression shifts. “She never understood my love for them either.”
I hold out the keys. “You wanna take her for a spin?”
“Naw. I probably shouldn’t.” He starts to get out. “It’d just make me want to go buy another one.” He climbs out and carefully closes the door behind him. “She sure is pretty though.” He gives me a nod. “You did a good job on her, son.”
He never asked if I was the one who did the work. “Thank you.” I look at Felicity. “I’m a little disappointed I didn’t know Felicity when I was redoing it. She would have been a big help.”
Felicity’s eyes widen.
“She’s one hell of a mechanic. Always been able to fix anything.” Vance rounds the front of my El Camino. “Kinda thought she’d go into it professionally.”
I wait for him to continue, and for a second Vance looks like he might, but then he thumbs over one shoulder. “You guys wanna come in?”
I could swear Felicity takes a deep breath before nodding.
Vance leads the way, opening the storm door before stepping into the wood-paneled living room. Deer heads flank the walls on each side of a giant entertainment center surrounding a large flat-screen television. The shelves of the center are lined with various trophies and plaques.
“Those are all the boys’.” Vance nods to the hall branching off the far end of the room. “Fel made me leave all hers in her room.”
I glance at Felicity. She avoids my gaze.
“It worked out since hers wouldn’t fit on that thing anyway.” Vance switches off the television. “One of them’s as tall as she is.”
“What’s that one for?”
Vance glances at Felicity. “Take him back and show him.”
That same deep breath as before lifts and drops her shoulders. Felicity spins on one heel and marches down the hall. “Come on.”
I follow her to a small room on the right. A single window looks out onto the front yard and brightens the space. A twin bed covered in a yellow flowered comforter tucks into one corner and a small desk occupies the other.
But I have to work hard to notice either of those things because of everything else in the room.
“Holy shit, Beanie.” I think I see the trophy Vance was talking about. I’m not one-hundred percent positive though since there are three of them that are at least five-feet-tall.
Then there’s the ones lining the floor-to-ceiling shelf against the wall just inside the door. There must be at least twenty shoved onto the thing.
And the ribbons. They hang from every available spot, blue and red and yellow rosettes, each one marking another accomplishment of the woman beside me. “Holy shit, Beanie.”
“You said that already.”
I spin to face her. “You’ve been holding back on me.”
One brow lifts. “Sorry I didn’t tell you I was the junior grand champion of the 2005 motocross season.” Her tone is dry and dri
pping with sarcasm.
“You should be.” I let my eyes drag up and down her body as I move closer. “But considering what it’s doing for me, maybe it’s better you didn’t.”
Her head pulls back a little. “What it’s doing for you?”
“I don’t think you realize how much I like a strong woman, Beanie.” I lean in close enough I don’t risk giving Vance a reason not to like me. “Add on the fact that you can ride a bike, and there’s no question.”
“No question about what?”
I’m glad she asked. Especially since I chose my words carefully so she would. “That you’re as perfect for me as it gets.”
The wariness is still there in her eyes. Felicity isn’t ready to believe what I say.
Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop. Not anymore. Everything I want is too close.
“Which one means the most to you?”
She blinks at the change in conversation. Her eyes move around the room. Not roaming.
Looking.
When they stop she hesitates for a second. Felicity has never voluntarily given me parts of herself. Not the real ones anyway.
Now I think I know why.
She was a girl raised in what most would consider a boy’s world. She grew up doing things most women would never attempt, let alone master.
And she sure as fuck mastered them, based on the awards flooding the room around us.
But a woman like that is intimidating as hell. Especially when that woman is surrounded by men who don’t understand it themselves.
Felicity’s eyes bounce to me, then back to the spot she’s focused on. She presses her lips into a tight line and reaches for a flat, inconspicuous pink ribbon. Her eyes go soft as she stares down at the gold lettering punched across the worn sheen of the satin.
Participant
She slowly passes it to me.
“It’s from a cooking contest I entered with a cookie recipe my dad said my mom used to make all the time.”
“What was the recipe?”
She smiles a little. “No-bakes. Her eyes lift from the ribbon to meet mine. “You ever had them?”
I shake my head. “No.” I carefully hand the ribbon back. I don’t tell her she’s not the only one who grew up without a mother making cookies for her.
At least she had Vance.
“Maybe I can make them for you when we go back home.” The words are hesitant as hell, but she said them and I’m proud as fuck of her for doing it.
“Careful. You’ll end up having to make me cookies all the time.”
I know Felicity expected her situation to scare me off. It’s probably been one of the excuses the pussies she dated before me used when she turned out to be too much woman for them to handle.
But like most of the men I call my brothers, family means everything to me.
Because we’ve never had one.
I want a wife, a house, kids, the whole fucking thing, and I want the woman I marry to be ride or die. A woman strong enough to stick shit out through thick and thin. Fearless and focused and determined.
And I finally found one.
“Who the fuck is this?”
Felicity spins to face the huge man taking up most of the doorway to her room.
“Hey, Richie.” She jumps at him, wrapping her arms around his thick neck as he stares me down, lips twisted into a scowl.
Looks like Vance is going to be the easy one to win over.
She drops back. “What are you doing here?”
Richie’s eyes don’t leave me. “Dad called. Said you were in town. Who the fuck is this?”
Felicity’s eyes narrow. “Don’t take that tone with me, asshole.” She stabs him in the center of his chest. “This is—” She turns to me. “Gypsy.” Her attention snaps back to her oldest brother. “He’s my...”
The last word drags out for the second it takes me to realize Felicity is still lagging farther behind than I wish she was. Still uncertain about us.
I take a step forward and prepare for my second threatening handshake of the day. “Boyfriend.”
Felicity presses her lips together, smothering what I’m hoping is a smile. I don’t have time to think on it too much because Richie is off and running.
“What kind of fucking name is Gypsy?”
“That’s not his real name, ass.” Felicity’s head tips to one side as she nods to my hand. “Either shake his hand like a man or get the fuck outta my way.”
“I heard that, Beanpole.” Vance’s voice carries down the hall.
“I’m grown. I can say what I want. And Richie’s being a dick to my boyfriend.” Felicity’s tone has shifted to one I recognize, even though I don’t have any experience with it myself.
It’s the whine of sibling-based aggravation.
“You can’t just show up here with some dude and think no one’s going to question who the fuck he is.” Richie’s eyes narrow on me. “Especially with a fuckin’ name like Gypsy.”
Felicity is on her brother in a second, legs tight around his as she takes the big man down to the ground hard and fast.
Makes me feel better about the time she did the same thing to me.
“Stop it.” Richie is doing his best to fend her off, but Felicity clearly has the upper hand in the fight, and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with her being a woman.
Richie lets out a howl.
“Are you gonna be nice?” Felicity is on top of him, knees on each side of his thighs, with one nipple pinched tight between her fingers.
Richie glares at her.
Felicity twists his hostage nipple and Rich lets out another scream.
“Fine. Just stop before you rip the fucking thing out.”
Felicity releases him and shoves up, pressing her hands to the center of his chest for leverage as she goes. Richie grunts as she puts her weight into the move in a parting jab. He stays on the floor, pulling up the hem of his shirt to check on his parts.
“You shouldn’t have gotten that thing pierced. It’s like a freaking bullseye.” Felicity flips her hair over one shoulder and stands tall, offering her brother a hand up.
“Courtney likes it.” He presses one palm protectively over the nipple and grabs Felicity’s with the other, letting her heft him up from the floor.
“Maybe she’ll kiss it and make it better.” Felicity puts a fist on each hip. “How is Courtney?”
Richie shrugs. “Pissed you haven’t been home since Christmas.”
Felicity sighs loudly. “I have a job, Richard. I can’t just pack up and leave.”
“Richie, leave your sister alone.” Vance steps in beside his oldest and youngest children.
Felicity glares at her brother before reaching out to give him a shove as she turns to walk away. Richie scoffs, lifting his arms at Vance. “So she just gets to walk away?”
“You started it. Went after something you knew would get your ass kicked.” Vance pats his son on the shoulder as the front door slams shut. His attention turns to me. “Tonight’s the night we all have dinner at her Nanna’s house. Six o’clock. Don’t be late or you’ll catch hell from a smaller, grayer version of my daughter.”
“We’ll be early.” I give Vance a nod and a smile before offering my hand to Felicity’s oldest brother again. This time he takes it. “I assume I’ll see you there?”
Richie scoffs. “Have to be. Otherwise I get my ass kicked by two women in one day.”
“Don’t want that.” I point to the front of the house. “I’m going to go make sure she’s good. See you tonight.”
When I get outside Felicity is in the front seat of my car, staring out the side window. She doesn’t move when I get in. I give her until we’re halfway to the hotel I booked before I start the conversation she won’t. “That explained a lot.”
She doesn’t respond, just keeps staring.
“Makes me feel a little better about that time you kicked my ass.” I reach across and rest my hand on her thigh. I don’t like her being so far away.
“Didn’t realize you had so much experience.” I wait. No response. “Your other brothers as big as Richie?”
Felicity finally gives me a nod.
“They as protective of you as he is?”
She nods again.
I blow out a breath. “They all gonna be at dinner tonight?”
Her head snaps my way, eyes wide. “Shit. I forgot it was Saturday.” Felicity’s eyes fall. “We don’t have to go.”
“Oh but we do.” I catch her hand with mine. “I’m not getting my ass kicked by your Nanna.”
“She wouldn’t...”
Felicity doesn’t finish and I start to laugh. “I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Why?”
I’m so glad she asked. “So I can see what you’ll be like in fifty years.”
She’s quiet. Again.
I was hoping that coming here would help Felicity see that I do know her. That I’ve seen her for what she really is all along.
And the more I saw, the more I liked her. Was sure she should be mine. That I could handle all she is. Appreciate it the way most men couldn’t.
But that doesn’t seem to be how it’s happening. The more Felicity gives me of her past, the woman she really is, the more she seems positive I won’t like her.
And the more she tries to make herself pull away. For every step forward I help her, she works to stumble two back.
I can’t let that happen. That means I have to find another way to make her see what I see.
That we fit.
13
I’M NOT SURE I’m ready for this.
“Relax, Beanie.” Gypsy is as close as he can be without touching me, leaning into my ear on the porch to my Nanna’s house. The house where I spent most of my growing-up years.
“I am relaxed.”
Gypsy chuckles. “I know you, Felicity. You’re not even close to relaxed.” He rests one hand on the small of my back as the door flies open and my Nanna stares me down.
“It’s about damn time you came to see me, pretty girl.” Her face breaks into a wide smile and she grabs me, pulling me in for a tight hug. “I have missed you, Beanpole.” She shoves me back and sizes me up. “You’ve been taking better care of yourself I see.”
Gypsy Soul: A Bad Boy Protector Romance (Lost Boys Book 3) Page 11
