The rest of our day was pleasant enough. We had dinner and laughed and talked around the warm, crackling campfire, and I battled with another mosquito that wouldn’t leave me be.
My aunt chuckled as she watched me slap the pest against my leg. She and Uncle Borys walked past. “Goodnight, girly,” she said, patting my arm. I smiled at her and pulled the sleeves of my sweater down over down to cover my chilled hands.
The rest of us lingered for a while around the dying fire. Bryce was the center of attention, as usual, and he liked it that way. His appearance alone demanded attention. His dark hair was cropped extremely short, and his facial hair was always a few days grown out, even down his neck. He was handsome in his own way, but he had a dangerous look about him that not many people gravitated toward. While my oldest cousin could look menacing, the man would give you the shirt off his back, and was fiercely loyal to those he loved.
I drew my gaze from my Bryce and looked down. As I watched the last of the flames eat up the small logs, I thought about Jesse. He was the first friend I’d made when I’d started working at the hospital. It was nice to have someone fun, talkative, and attractive; he and I had even gone out on a couple of dates in the beginning, but we’d both agreed we liked being friends—good friends, even. Jesse was the only person who knew much about me, aside from Amy, and Simon.
I blinked and rubbed my eyes, tipping my head back as I thought of Simon again, who was never gone from my mind for long. He was in my thoughts every day at some point. The man who’d stolen my heart and broken it, even stole my attention at work sometimes. Jesse always seemed to know when I was wrapped up in my Simon moments, and he’d distract me. Now, though, he wasn’t here, and I let myself delve in deeper to the feelings I usually kept buried. Being here around the campfire, my head tilted back, looking at the stars, I couldn’t keep myself from thinking of him and the night he’d taught me about the stars I was so completely focused on.
Five Years Before…
“You really don’t want to come? It’ll be fun.”
We lingered around the fire in our camp chairs; night had just fallen, and the stars were beginning to twinkle.
Amy wanted me to go with her and the others for a night swim. I didn’t like swimming in the dark water, so I made an excuse. “I’m too tired to swim. I’d probably end up drowning.” I faked a yawn and saw Simon’s lips twitch as he watched me make my excuse look believable.
Amy pouted, a typical reaction when she didn’t get her way. She insisted I rest up the next day so I wouldn’t be too tired for more fun. Then she addressed Caleb and Simon. “Come on, let’s go. My brothers and Olivia are already down there.”
Caleb smiled at Amy while reaching for her hand, and I looked away to hide my surprise. Caleb was a friend of Simon’s he’d brought on the trip this year. Amy barely knew him, so I was taken aback that they were hand in hand.
Simon shook his head. “I’m good. I don’t need the bats flying around me while I try to keep my head above water.”
Caleb chuckled but didn’t pester him. Everyone knew Simon hated bats.
As Caleb and Amy retreated toward the water, my heart picked up its pace the way it always did when it was just Simon and me. There was an atmosphere between us, even when everyone was around. Then there were times like this, in the dark, side-by-side, that I was always too aware of him.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” I said quietly. “I’m perfectly alright here by myself.” I was alright, but I always loved alone time with Simon.
“I don’t want you to be by yourself. Besides, you’re not the worst company in the world, Kate.” He gave me a half smile, and I and rolled my eyes, smiling at his nonsense. Simon always could charm me. Whether by a teasing word or that intense gaze I found on me too often when he didn’t think I was aware.
Simon chuckled quietly and looked at the sky. Bryce’s phone was abandoned in his chair playing music, and I laid my head back to gaze at the infinite number of stars, brighter here than in the city.
“I can never tell where the Little dipper is. Isn’t it supposed to be by the big one somewhere?” I mumbled.
Simon scooted his chair closer to me and leaned over, pointing up at the sky. My heart skipped again. He was much nearer than I was used to, so close that his dark hair brushed against mine. His leg shifted and brushed my knee, causing a warmth to spread through me. “Look,” he said. “You see the two stars there, on the Big dipper, the outer ones on the bowl?”
I tried to focus on what he was showing me, rather than the way his face tilted closer to mine just now. “Yeah,” I breathed.
“Now look straight from there to there.” He brought his hand down and pointed at a bright star.
I squinted at the night sky. “Isn’t that the north star?”
“Yes, good. That star, the north star, is the end of the handle of the Little dipper. See how the handle follows over to the bowl?”
He had my full attention now. “Oh, I see it!” I squeaked with delight.
Simon chuckled at my excitement and smiled at me. I was still gazing at the sky but I could see him watching me. This was one of those times again. He studied me, and I’d let him, wishing the entire time that I knew what that look meant. Was he wishing for the same thing I was, to draw a little closer?
After giving him his moment, I finally met his gaze. Simon’s face was closer than I thought, and his eyes searched mine. My heart skipped at how close he was, and it left me breathless. Even in the dark, I could see his light gray eyes, full of secrets and curiosity.
“Kate, are you happy?” he asked in a low voice.
My gaze never left him as I considered his question. “I have no reason to be unhappy.”
His eyes tightened, creating a little V between them. “That’s not what I asked.”
I took a deep breath in, and it shook on the way out. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. My aunt keeps telling me I need to think about my future and what I want to do, where I want to be.” I couldn’t keep the sadness out of my voice, because the truth was…whenever I saw the future, I saw Simon. Aside from nursing school, he was all I saw.
Simon’s eyes bore into mine. “And what do you want, Kate?” he whispered.
My heart beat faster; what I wanted to say was you, but I knew I couldn’t. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to get that figured out, though.” Disappointment was etched in his slight frown, and I wondered why he cared so much. I distracted him from me and lifted a brow. “What about you, Mr. Lawyer, sir?” I smiled. “I thought you didn’t want to follow in your dad’s footsteps to become a lawyer. What happened?”
Simon was a little guarded at first. His eyes were full of uncertainty, followed by fear, and finally he just looked vulnerable, more so than I’d ever seen him. My mouth parted when I was surprised further; Simon’s eyes glistened, and his lips were pressed together in a firm line.
“Simon?” I whispered and brought my hand to his cheek.
He turned his face into my hand, lingering, breathing deep. I brought my other hand to the back of his head and pulled him gently to me. Simon didn’t hesitate, which warmed me to the core, and while I cradled his head in my arms, I ran my fingers through his hair, something I’d only had the privilege of doing a handful of times before.
“I can’t go against my parents. You know me…” His voice was quiet and shaky.
I did. I knew he had a desire to please them. But they were two stubborn people who could never be satisfied, no matter how hard their son tried.
“Why?” I asked. “Simon, I know you seek their approval, but if you’re this unhappy now, think of how unhappy you’ll be years from now.” I wanted to be a listening ear for him, but I also wanted him to know he did have the choice if he’d just make it happen.
“I know,” he said and sniffed quietly.
I could understand where he was coming from with his desire to please his family and seek their approval. I struggled wi
th my own issues, which weren’t so different from this.
We stayed close for a little longer, and I basked in every second of him being in my arms like this. I could feel his slight stubble scratch against my arm. Simon was still, seeming content just to let me hold him and run my fingers freely through his thick, soft hair. It was a moment I wanted to last forever, but inevitably, he sat up, rubbing his hands over his face, and stood in front of me. I looked up, meeting his eyes, and he gazed at me. I never knew what he was thinking when we had moments like this. My heart would always beat a little faster, and I could feel a pull, the way I did now.
He put a hand on each of my arm rests and leaned down so his face was level with mine. “Dance with me, Kate.” His eyes searched my face, and I nodded.
Never breaking eye contact, Simon took my hands and pulled me to him. He held my left hand out a little and brought our other hands to his chest. We swayed slowly, and I was so happy in that moment, I couldn’t help but smile.
“What?” he asked, still gazing into my eyes.
“I was just thinking that I’m happy now.”
He gifted me a half smile and held me closer. I laid my head on his shoulder and felt him kiss my hair. “I’m happy too. I want to spend your birthday with you tomorrow. We can get away from here for the day if you want?”
I smiled. “Yes, please.”
Chapter 3
The next day, Aunt Chantelle and I strolled through the wild mountain grass toward the river. The forest was loud with chatter from the birds, and the water rushed as we walked by. We talked about work, exchanging nursing stories and gossip about our coworkers.
“And Angie told me Dr. Hardy was in the closet with Kathy for fifteen minutes!” I said dramatically but I couldn’t help it. The doctor I spoke of made more than just the medical kind of rounds.
Aunt Chantelle gasped with an amused smile and wide eyes. “I don’t know what to say about that man.” She shook her head and chuckled.
I nudged her with my shoulder and teased her. “You’d better watch out or he’ll be on to you next.”
She looked over with a reprimanding smile, but I saw a secret twinkle in her eye. “He’s barked up that tree already, and I shut him down in a very ladylike way.”
It was my turn for a shocking smile and I laughed. “I can’t believe that. Did you tell Uncle Borys?”
“Of course I did. We’ve always been very honest with one another.”
I grinned and nodded. “As it should be.”
We talked about our more serious patients after our gossip. My aunt was an excellent nurse, and I strived to follow in her footsteps with my own nursing career.
When she brought up Jesse in the hinting way she always did, I sighed. “He’s good. And no, there’s still nothing between us.” I eyed her as we stopped near the river, and I picked a leaf from the tree nearby. I wondered if now was a good time to talk with her about feeling empty lately. “Can I ask you something?” I said quietly as I brushed the leaf along the palm of my hand.
Aunt Chantelle looked curious as she brushed off the top of a tree stump. She nodded at me and sat down and patted her hands clean before giving me her full attention.
I watched the water tumble over the pebbles of the riverbed near us and took a breath. “Do you think—” I paused, unsure how to express what I wanted to say, and started again. “Do you think there’s only one person for everyone?”
I caught myself off guard with that question, and I wasn’t the only one. Aunt Chantelle’s head drew back. “Oh, well…” She tossed her head lightly. “Not necessarily. I believe if you want a relationship to work, you can do that with anyone, if both involved are willing to do what it takes.”
I bit my lip and nodded.
“Why do you ask? Is there someone else on your radar if it’s not that cute Jesse?”
Simon’s sweet smile came to mind, and I sighed as I folded my arms and leaned back against the tree. “No, there’s no one else. I don’t even know if that’s what’s wrong. It’s just that lately I’ve been a little…” I shrugged lightly and met my aunt’s concerned gaze. “Empty, I suppose. I don’t know what it is, but there seems to be something missing in my life and I can’t put my finger on it.” I looked at the river and sighed, “I haven’t felt like this in years.”
“Four years?” she asked with a knowing voice.
I nodded as I thought through the rush of my nursing program I finished these past couple of years. I’d been so busy then that I hadn’t had time worry over anything finishing school. Before that, however… “That might’ve been it,” I answered quietly. I knew what was going through her mind. She was thinking of the year or so after I turned sixteen. That had been a hard year for me, but I was sure I’d gotten over my issues of Simon leaving. What I was feeling now wasn’t the same thing.
Aunt Chantelle stepped in front of me and pressed her lips in a sort of smile. “Perhaps you’re ready for someone special, Katie,” she said.
I immediately tensed and she saw it. The idea of getting close to someone was unappealing. After being as close as I’d been with Simon, and the abandonment I’d felt after we’d parted, I just wasn’t sure I could risk my heart like that again. I’d never gotten the closure I needed from him and I doubted I’d ever fully heal from it.
“Just think about it, honey.” She changed the subject as we strolled back to camp. I would think about it, though. If that really was why I was feeling unsettled, perhaps it was time to move one from my childhood sweetheart and find a real meaningful relationship with someone.
After lunch, Aunt Chantelle and Uncle Borys left for town to get a few forgotten things. Everyone else followed through with plans for a ride and headed for the wheelers.
I didn’t join them for this ride, partly because I didn’t want to get stuck with Trent again. Instead, I opted for alone time.
As I relaxed on my chair in my black swimsuit, I let my book lay limply against my chest and stared at the kayaks. I couldn’t help but think about Jesse. After what Aunt Chantelle had said, I could give it another go. We knew each other pretty well now; maybe it wouldn’t take much to get involved with him.
At the same time, the thought of letting Simon go had my chest tightening and a lump lodging in my throat. I’d spent years in love with him. He was sweet, kind, sensitive, and had made me feel whole in a way nobody else could.
I blew out an exasperated breath. How many times had I let that man have control over my heart? I didn’t even know who he was now, or where he was. In four years, he’d never reached out, had never sent word, and I hadn’t, either. It was clear that after that one horrible weekend, whatever might’ve been wouldn’t be.
I needed to get my mind off him. I knew by now if I let myself into all the memories, I’d be in tears in no time. Abandoning my book, I stepped into my flip-flops and headed toward the kayaks lined up on the beach. I went right to the red one and crouched down to rub my hand across it. Simon’s proud smile came to mind, and I shook it away. As I picked up the paddle and set it aside, I heard my uncle’s truck pulling up. It wasn’t nearly enough time to make it to town and back, and I guessed they must ‘e forgotten something. I didn’t pay them any mind as I removed my flip-flops and bent over to pull the kayak out to the water.
I heard footsteps coming up behind me, and after a moment…
“Kate Cassidy.”
I stood straight up and froze, my heart doubling its pace. I knew who it was without having to turn around. There were only three people in the world who called me Kate, and my parents were gone, which left one other. I didn’t dare turn around. I wasn’t prepared for the emotional tidal wave that would crash over me when I did. My heart pounded in my chest so hard it almost hurt.
A stray hair tickled my face, and I brushed it back. What was I supposed to do? What was he doing here?
You can’t stand like this forever, I thought. Get on with it. I grit my teeth and tried to tame my heart, which was hammering with equal
parts dread, longing, and frustration.
I finally closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly turned around.
Simon Curtis. The person I’d been in love with for as long as I could remember was now standing in front of me. Where a boy stood in my memories, a man now took his place; he was here. How many times had I imagined his face? My memory and imagination hadn’t done him justice.
His hair was darker now, almost black, with black, long lashes and a five o’clock shadow that swept over his strong jaw and down his neck. Somehow, he was taller, at least six feet. He wore cargo shorts and a white T-shirt that made his skin look tanner than it really was. Simon stood with his arms folded, making his muscles hard to ignore.
I couldn’t move. I was gaping at him with my mouth open and drank in every last bit of him. When my gaze finally reached his face again, I saw his pleased half smile that had haunted my dreams these past years. Simon’s light gray eyes found mine, and I blushed when I realized my mouth was still open; I snapped it shut quickly. He grinned, and I watched his eyes flicker over me from head to toe. Our eyes locked again, and his smile softened.
“Hi, Kate,” he murmured.
My mind was blank, and he was waiting for me to speak, to say something…anything.
How many times had I played this moment out in my mind? All the things I’d imagined I’d say to the man who’d broken me, and I had nothing.
“Simon,” I finally managed to squeak out, and he chuckled.
“Kate,” he replied in a high-pitched voice, trying to mimic mine.
If I wasn’t in such a state of shock, I might’ve laughed. He chuckled again, as I couldn’t seem to get a grip on myself.
I needed to get out of there, to get my mind back into my body before I screwed this up any more than I already had. I nodded to myself at that plan and took a few steps before turning around again.
Simon looked at me, amused but curious.
“I’ll just be right back,” I mumbled, still nodding.
Everything for You (Unforgettable) Page 2
