He took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “I promise you, I’ll never hate or resent you. I’ll never leave you again, Kate.”
He was swaying me, but it didn’t feel right to let it happen if his family was the price, no matter how badly I wanted him for myself. Another set of tears fell over my cheeks, and I shook my head slowly. “You can’t exchange your heart for your family.”
Simon’s jaw moved, and he searched my face desperately. “You already have my heart, Kate,” he rasped, and I saw a single tear traipse down his cheek in the moonlight. “It’s been yours all my life.”
My chin wouldn’t stay still, and when Simon pressed his lips against mine, I found myself caving to his will. I couldn’t help it. I’d wanted this, had wanted him for so long, and he was here, begging, pleading for me. I forfeited, ran my hands up his chest to his neck, and finally buried my fingers into his hair.
Simon gripped my leg and pulled me so I was on his lap, and he kissed me again. I let myself drown in his embrace, his kiss, and my love for him.
Chapter 21
“I can’t believe it!” Amy said, astounded. “That’s why they left?”
I nodded as we made lunch the next day on a table near the trailer.
I’d spent the night with Simon in his sleeping bag again, and while I loved every moment with him, I couldn’t shake the guilt away about his family. It’d kept me up long after Simon had fallen asleep, and it had been nagging at me all morning. I’d just filled Amy in about everything, and appreciated her reaction.
Amy finally snapped her mouth closed and glared at the cheese slices she was placing onto each sandwich. “Talk about dramatic,” she said flatly. She took a bite of cheese and spoke as she chewed. “I mean, I get that they disapproved, but to react that way…? And what about how they are treating him now? They’ve broken with Simon the way they broke with my parents, and it’s supposed to be all over you?”
I blinked, trying not to be offended.
“It’s almost like there’s something missing.”
I paused with a stack of sandwiches and looked at her. “What do you mean?”
She glanced my way and shrugged. “Doesn’t it seem like an overreaction? I just wonder if there's more than he’s telling you about. For them to completely neglect him just for going after a girl he likes that they don’t…it seems fishy, that’s all.”
I shook my head right away, unwilling to consider that Simon wasn’t being fully honest about everything. Especially with how open and vulnerable we’d both been since he’d been here. “Well, from what he said about the past, Donna found out I had feelings for him, she freaked out, and they left. You could hear her that day—she was livid.”
“Yeah, but what happened the day Simon fought with them this time? Did he say anything about their parting?” Amy gathered the second stack of sandwiches and lowered her voice as we approached the others. “I think you should find out,” she whispered.
We quit the conversation that was upsetting my stomach. I didn’t like being in the dark, literally and figuratively. If there was more, I needed to know. Especially with how I was feeling guilty for being the reason his family had fallen apart.
As we passed around lunch, I squinted against the sun observed Simon on the shore, fishing. I stared at him, wondering if Amy’s suspensions were correct. It did seem like there was something out of place, but what could it be?
I mulled it over and over the rest of the day. It was hard to imagine Simon keeping anything from me with the loving look he carried around whenever he met my eye. He seemed so happy and murmured sweet things when nobody was paying attention. He stole kisses here and there that I willingly submitted to. Our conversation had remained light, since we were always in company of everyone, and I enjoyed myself, aside from the small pit bothering my stomach.
Trent was bothersome as well. I hadn’t paid much attention to him at all, but I noticed how many times he watched Simon and me closely. It was almost as though he was brooding, and his scowls had me rolling my eyes every time I saw them. Between him, the guilt I felt over Simon’s parents, and the gnawing in my stomach, I wasn’t quite myself by the evening.
“What’s wrong?” Simon asked as we lingered around the fire with the group.
I glanced up and saw we were being overheard by a few of the others. I didn’t want the attention, and I didn’t plan on expressing my worries to Simon in front of everyone. Instead, I forced my lips up. “I’m fine.”
A worried crease settled between his brows as he lightly frowned. “Are you sure?”
“We all know what it means when a woman says she’s fine,” Bryce said lightly. “It means you’re really in the doghouse.”
A few chuckles passed around, and I sighed internally, wishing it was late enough for bedtime. I was tired, restless, and I wanted to be in bed with Simon snuggled beside me. I shifted in my chair and rested my head on his shoulder.
Simon kissed my forehead. “Do you want to turn in early, baby?” he whispered.
I met his gaze and smiled. “Only if you come with me.”
His lips twitched, hiding a smirk, and he squeezed my hand. “How can I say no to that?”
I sat up and was about to stand when Trent called across the fire to Simon. Trent’s eyes were narrowed but with surprise in them.
Simon rose his brows expectantly as he waited for Trent to say something.
Trent’s head drew back slowly and his mouth went slack. “It’s you,” he said accusingly. He rubbed a hand over his mouth and looked at me then to Simon again.
My gaze went back and forth between them, and Simon shrugged at me. He seemed to be at a loss just as much as I was.
Trent laughed once, harshly, and slid to the end of his seat, pointing an accusatory finger at Simon, which caught everyone's attention. “You’re Simon Curtis. The Simon Curtis, from North Carolina…” Trent seemed to be awed by the puzzling revelation, and all at once he was on his feet and glowered at Simon.
My stomach tightened, and so did Simon’s hand on mine. I studied him, and he still seemed to be unsure of what Trent was finding so upsetting.
“You’re the one,” Trent said in a taunting, low voice. He didn’t seem to take any notice that everyone was watching him. “You left her.”
I tensed; Trent had no business butting in between Simon and me. I was about to speak, but Trent cut me off.
“You piece of—” he cursed, and my aunt gasped.
“What on earth?” Aunt Chantelle breathed.
Trent seethed, his eyes wide on Simon. “You left my cousin at the altar, and I should kick your ass right now for what you put her through!”
I heard Simon’s intake of breath, and I whipped my head in his direction. He was glaring at Trent dangerously, and my heart began to slump to the ground. The guilt in Simon’s eyes when he met mine trampled my heart where it lay at his feet.
I breathed heavily a few times as my world came to a screeching halt. I waited for him to deny it, to call Trent out as a liar and reassure me he hadn’t kept me in the dark about something that important. “Simon?” I breathed.
He swallowed, and his guilt slipped into a look of regret.
Before he had the chance to say anything, I ripped my hand from his and stood so quickly, my chair clattered to the ground.
“Tell her,” Trent growled and took a step toward me, tossing a piece of paper at me.
I automatically caught it and stared at the picture I vaguely recognized. Simon, with his arm around the blonde, his sister Olivia, and another man I assumed was her husband. It was the picture from his dash, and it drove a stake through my heart.
“Kate—”
“It’s not true,” I whispered and looked up at Simon. “Is this true? Were you going to marry this woman?” I held the picture up, and Simon took a step toward me, but I stepped back. I felt wronged by him. He should’ve said something. This wasn’t the kind of thing to keep from someone you swore you loved more than any
thing, anyone. My chest tightened, even as my throat burned from the tears I held back. I didn’t want a big scene in front of everyone, so I turned on my heel and hurried away.
“Kate,” Simon called. He caught up to me and stepped in front of me, his face full of desperation. “You have to listen to me. I didn’t love her, alright?” He sliced a dismissive hand through the air and shook his head. “It was what my parents wanted, not me.”
My breath caught with understanding. “That’s why,” I choked. “That’s why you stayed away. There was someone else.”
He shook his head but not in disagreement. More like regret.
I was right. I knew it. “You left me,” I said as the tears finally made an escape. “You left and stayed away for someone else…”
“No, I-I—” He seemed flustered and came toward me, but I backed away and threw the picture at him.
“You picked someone your parents wanted over me,” I cried.
“Kate, it’s not that simple,” he argued. “You know how I was with them, but that’s not me anymore. I love you. They threw Charlotte at me since I was a kid, and still, my heart was yours.”
I gasped and gaped at him. “What?” I said with a glare. “You’ve known her your whole life?”
He bit his lip and looked down, hands on his hips, and I couldn’t take any more at the moment.
I sniffed, feeling lost. I shot a look back at my family. Half of them stared with their mouths open, and everyone else, the men mostly, with stern looks of disapproval at Simon. When I looked at Simon again, his eyes were full of sad tears and he held himself tightly across the chest.
Even upset as I was, his tears tugged on my heart, but I was too hurt and confused to continue this. “I can’t do this,” I whispered and backed away.
“No, please stay with me and hear me out, Kate.”
I had my back to him and I could hear him following me. “Leave me be, Simon,” I sniffed as I mounted a 4-wheeler. “I just need a minute alone.” As I turned the wheeler, the lights flashed across Simon’s face. He looked lost, which mirrored how I felt as I drove aimlessly into the night.
I was parked at the end of the mine road. The wheeler was off, and the only sounds were the bats and my quiet sniffing.
Married. He was supposed to be married to another woman right now. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind. The blonde, Charlotte, in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle to Simon, my Simon. In all the years of knowing him, when he was here, and wasn’t, I never imagined him married to another. Perhaps it was naive of me to not think he’d move on with life. I’d wondered about him having a girlfriend, but maybe my own mind had been protecting itself from the hurt I’d suffer if he married someone else.
I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them, resting my forehead on my knees. I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t as though this woman was in his life now; he’d left home long ago. But I still felt cheated somehow. Maybe it was unjustified to feel that way, but I did all the same. He should’ve told me. In all the years, I’d never heard him, or his sister, speak of a girl named Charlotte. How could I not know about her? Had I known he was meant to be with her, I might’ve guarded my heart a little better where Simon was concerned.
I sighed and sniffed. No, I wouldn’t have. I couldn’t. Simon wasn’t a choice; he was just there. He was always just there, in my heart. I didn’t know how it felt to live any other way. It was always him, and it always would be. From the time I was young, I knew he’d always have my heart.
I stayed still as I contemplated the future, near and far. Was I willing to follow him to Montana? Would he ever be fully honest with me about his past or things to come? I wanted to believe he’d put me first, put my heart first, the way I was willing to put his first. Was that my answer then? No matter how hurt and lost I was feeling, I still wanted him. I wanted his happiness, and I couldn’t help but want that happiness to lay with me, no matter who might’ve had it in the past. He loved me, I knew he did, and it wasn’t right for me to hold things against him when he’d made such drastic changes to his life just for me.
I let out a long breath, feeling a little lighter, having thought everything through and coming to some kind of decision. I wanted Simon. It was that simple, and I turned the wheeler back on to return to him.
Chapter 22
SIMON
We couldn’t find her. We’d been searching for over an hour, calling to her, and she didn’t answer. I was beside myself. Kate wasn’t one to be reckless, which had us worried she was lying hurt somewhere after taking off in the dark way she had. Of course, I only had myself to blame. I’d planned on telling Kate about Charlotte in my own time. Charlotte had never meant to me what Kate did. She was just another planned part of my life that I’d tried to make work, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tie myself to someone else when I loved Kate so much. It wouldn’t have been fair to Charlotte. She deserved to be loved the way I loved Kate. I needed her, and I had to find her.
“Kate,” I called again. My voice echoed through the silhouetted trees, and I heard her family’s calls not far off. I’d ridden with her aunt and uncle until we’d parked and separated, while the others had taken another road. I called for her again, breathing heavily, and stopped with a hand on a tree to keep myself steady. After only a moment, I heard it—a whimper.
My heart jumped as I hurried forward, crashing through the bushes like a blind man to get to her. It was Kate; I knew it with every trembling part of me. I stopped and listened again, shining a light. I was near the mine trail and called out, “Kate, I’m here. Where are you? Make another noise.”
Another quiet whimper, and I cursed the entire way down the small wooded hill. If she was down here, that meant— I stopped short when I saw the 4-wheeler on its side, and bile touched the back of my throat at what I might find.
“Kate,” I choked out when I saw her. I dropped to the ground, shining the light, and my stomach rolled at the sight of her. Kate’s legs were tucked under her in an unnatural position as she lay on her back. My hand trembled as I set the light aside, and I leaned over. “Kate, I’m here.”
Her breathing was audible in small, shallow breaths, and when her eyes found mine, tears streamed down the side of her face. She winced as they passed the cuts and scrapes of her face. “Simon,” she breathed, though I could barely make it out; my heart wrenched.
“Kate, can you hear me?” I didn’t dare touch her; I wasn’t sure where her injuries were.
“Simon,” she croaked.
I brushed her hair back carefully and blinked to clear the tears. “I have you, baby. I’m here. Where do you hurt? Can you tell me where you hurt?” Her face was nothing but a pained expression as she tried to speak.
“Ev-ev—”
I couldn’t make out her words and leaned in. “Everywhere? Is that what you’re trying to say, Kate? Everywhere?” I looked into her eyes, and she teared up again. I couldn’t contain my own sort of pain, and a raspy sob cleared my throat.
“Simon,” she whispered. I leaned in so my ear was near her mouth. “Carry me…” she breathed and whimpered from the effort talking was for her.
“Carry you? Is that what you said? Carry you?”
“Yes.”
My stomach twisted again. I wasn’t sure about moving her. If her spine was injured, or her neck, the slightest movement could paralyze her. But as I looked down the length of her, she could have other injuries, internal ones, and if I didn’t do something, she could die right here on the forest floor. It was a choice between two potentially dangerous things, and I decided internal injuries would be more life-threatening. Aside from that, we were up in the mountains and if we got help to come, it’d be two hours at the least before they arrived. If we took her now, it’d be her best chance. I took a quick assessment of how she was positioned and met her eye as I sniffed. “It’s going to hurt, badly,” I warned gently. I wanted her to brace herself any way she could. Kate’s elbow touched my knee, and she had a
pleading look in her pain-filled eyes. I took a second to brace myself, at the pain I knew moving her would cause. “I’m going to start with your legs, okay?” I said with my eyes on hers to make sure she understood what was about to happen. A whimper came out of her with each shallow breath, and it was the worst kind of torture knowing how frightened she was by the impending pain.
I slipped my hand under her upper thighs and lifted just enough to pull her legs free. Kate’s cry was the most horrific thing I’d ever heard, and it caused my eyes to water again.
“I’m sorry. I’m all done with that part.” I put my left arm under her knees and slipped the other behind her shoulders. Kate closed her eyes tight, and I hoped to high heaven this wouldn’t damage her further. I pressed my lips to her ear. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, already hating the pain she’d go through. I kissed each of her sweet, closed eyelids, and lifted her broken body from the ground.
The scream that tore from her mouth was excruciating, and I cried out in desperate agony. When I stood to full height, I stumbled slightly from my unsteady footing, and my arms tightened automatically around her to keep her up.
Kate’s face turned away from me, and she vomited. I was scared now; that couldn’t be a good sign. And when she wretched again and her body began to shake, I just knew I was losing her. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed as she finished being so sick.
Kate’s head moved in slow motion until her pretty eyes found mine. “Simon,” she whispered as though it was a goodbye. Her body began to shake so violently that I had a hard time keeping her in my arms. “Simon,” she said again. I watched her eyelids flickering to give up.
A wail of agony escaped me at the thought of losing her. “Hold on. Please, baby. Don’t leave me…please. I love you, Kate.” I kissed her forehead, and when I pulled back, her eyes closed.
I watched closely for any sign that she’d wake, but like the eight days previous, there was nothing. Kate’s family went home for the night. When we brought her to the hospital, I’d insisted I wasn’t leaving, and I meant it.
Everything for You (Unforgettable) Page 18
