by Gwenda Bond
She’d been more reserved than usual with Dr. Parks, answering her questions with every word chosen carefully. Dr. Parks hadn’t seemed to notice. The idea of Brenner knowing what she saw and understanding…it had scared Alice to her core.
But she’d be strong for Terry. And for the little girl in the future.
Alice had glimpsed her again in today’s visions. She’d been repeating something back to a pleased Brenner. That had been it, and then her brain took over with a surge of random imagery. She’d pushed herself the other night, almost too far. She could feel herself stretched thin, and so today she’d been careful not to press.
If only there was some way to tell that girl in the future she wasn’t alone, that Alice watched for and suffered for her. That Terry was going to help her. That they all knew about her.
But, of course, there wasn’t.
Dr. Parks had left, along with the orderly, after a “Code Indigo” had been announced over the PA in the here and now. “Indigo” was a nice word. A nice color. The suggestion and the remaining acid in her system bathed the room in a rich purple-blue hue. When the door opened, Alice expected Dr. Parks to appear and tell her it was time to go.
Instead it was a little girl. Not her little girl, though.
No, this was the one Terry had described. Somehow Alice hadn’t pictured her in a hospital gown identical to the one she wore. The girl was even smaller, younger, than the one in Alice’s visions of the future.
Alice got up from the cot and moved closer to her. Maybe she was hallucinating. Finally.
“Kali?” She squinted. “Are you really here?”
The girl grinned at her. “How did you know? Did you just know?” Then she shook her head. “Terry told you. I was hoping you were like me. Who are you?”
“I’m Alice.” She grinned back at the girl, unable not to. This was no mirage or acid-caused vision. She was in Alice’s room. How? “Are you supposed to be in here?”
“Nope!” Kali sang with glee. “I ran away. I wanted to meet Terry’s friends. She asked me to make a distraction. Are we friends now, too?”
“Of course we are,” Alice said. “I thought Terry was asking you to do that next week.” That had been the plan—did it change?
The girl rolled her eyes. “I’ll do it ’gain.”
Alice had been wondering something. “When you make illusions, does it hurt?”
“Nope,” Kali said. “Well…sometimes my head burns a little.” Alice watched as she swiped under her nose as if wiping something away. “A little blood comes out.”
“Are you hurt?” Alice descended upon her, determined to fix it if so. She muscled her way past short flailing arms and took Kali’s jaw to give her nose a closer look. Fat chance of Kali shaking off a grip that had been practiced on a dozen squirming brothers and cousins.
“I’m not doing it now,” Kali said, continuing to resist. “And anyway, it’s just the cost when it happens.”
“What cost?”
Kali shrugged her off. “That’s what Papa says. The cost of ’lusions.”
“The cost.” Alice gaped, then remembered she was the adult here. “You shouldn’t pay a cost. You’re a child.”
“You’re a child!” Kali countered. “You don’t know! You’re normal!”
Alice put a hand on the girl’s arm and held it there when she tried to shake her off. “Kali, look at me. I do understand. And I’m not normal. They hook me up to machines here and that pain, that’s my cost…The cost for the things I have to see.”
“What things?” Kali was interested now.
No way Alice was telling her about monsters and tortured little girls.
“You make illusions, things that aren’t there, right? Well, I see things that aren’t taking place right here, right now, but are real. You create illusions. I have visions.”
“Oh.” Kali gazed at her. Her eyes sparkled. “You’re like me. I have a friend like me! Are Ken and Gloria like me, too?”
“No.” Alice felt a pang. “But we’re all going to help you. Terry won’t leave you here.”
“I love you, Alice. We can be tigers.” Kali made a roaring face and an attempt at a fearsome noise.
Alice had to laugh, even as her heart burned thinking of Brenner hurting this girl. She’d never felt true rage until this moment. “Okay, we’ll be tigers.” She poked Kali’s tummy. “Right now, though, should you get going back to where you’re supposed to be?”
The girl grabbed her hand and held on. “I’ll go. Papa can’t find me here. You might get in trouble.”
Kali dropped Alice’s hand, then waved and made her way back to the door. She was so small that Alice followed to help her with it.
“I’m strong,” Kali said in protest when Alice tried. She managed it herself. Which only made sense, because how else would she have gotten here?
Alice liked stubborn girls. “I see that.”
“And I’ll see you next week!” Kali stayed in the gap of the open door for a second longer to declare, “I have a calendar.”
With that, the door closed and the delightful, confusing whirlwind named Kali was gone.
6.
“Where have you been?” Dr. Brenner demanded as Eight approached the door to her room from the hallway. He gestured for the security officers and other personnel gathered around to back off. “Give us a minute.”
“None of your business,” she said, with a stubborn set to her chin.
He saw how the others looked at Eight, practically gawking. He’d have to give them a lecture on professional responses to extreme situations. Like a little girl fooling his staff and getting out of her locked wing. Again.
He knew she wasn’t visiting Terry and so he had feared the worst: that Eight had somehow escaped. Her powers made it all too likely she’d try someday and possibly succeed…unless he extinguished her desire to. That was why he played nice with her. He hadn’t been by to see her in days, and he’d been concerned this was the result.
He let his relief sink in. A rare emotion worth indulging. She’d been here the whole time. She wanted his attention. That was all.
They weren’t there yet, to where she used her ability against him. She was only five years old. And not savvy enough to even know to want to escape. He should’ve been confident in his protocols keeping it that way.
“Now,” he said, when she didn’t go on. “Where were you? I know you didn’t go visit Miss Ives, because I was in her room when the alert went out.”
“Hiding,” Eight said.
“Where?”
Eight’s eyes were brown circles of innocence, her shrug practiced. “Nearby. I wanted to see you. I thought you’d be happy.”
“You did not think I’d be happy that I couldn’t find you.”
She kept looking at him. “You didn’t even try.”
He heard a gasp from behind him, one of the people who weren’t supposed to be listening. If he found out who it was, they’d be fired.
“Of course not,” Dr. Brenner said. And for good measure, he scooped her up. She softened. “I knew you’d come back. Should we get you some ice cream from the cafeteria?” The cafeteria had ice cream on hand for all the kids. Children were the easiest to bribe. Their pleasures were simple, their memories short. He’d punish her later when others weren’t watching, in a way she’d remember.
Eight hesitated. “Are we friends?”
Brenner had no idea what to say. That wasn’t her usual question; he answered what he assumed she meant. “I’m working on your friend. I promise. Soon.”
Eight continued looking at him in a way he didn’t like. “But first,” Dr. Brenner said, “we should get your ice cream.”
“Yes, Papa.”
He could tell by the drowsy blink that followed
that she’d be asleep before they ever got there. He’d have to do better about stopping in to see her every day, even if he wasn’t actually working with her…
He’d administer her punishment himself. Then maybe, afterward, she could visit his office. Except he hadn’t kept those sketches. The next ones he would keep. Then he could keep her as nearby as he needed to.
7.
Three weeks had passed and February was almost over. Terry had waited in vain for Kali in the void for the past few sessions. There’d been no big distraction besides when Dr. Brenner left her room that last time she had seen Kali. Terry should’ve gone then. And now they should be planning what their next move was. Instead they were under a perfect sky on an unseasonably warm Saturday indulging Alice in a “fun activity.”
Terry eyeballed the low, sleek, sinner-red version of Alice’s usual muscle car. Flecks of gold paint like wings on the windshield. “Is this yours? And how are we all going to fit in it?”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Yes, princess. We will all fit.” She gave a forgiving look to Ken and Gloria. “Although whoever sits in the back isn’t going to have much leg room.”
“It’s Terry’s trip,” Gloria said. “She gets the front.”
“Terry doesn’t really like cars,” Terry reminded everyone.
Alice rolled her eyes again. “Everyone likes a Firebird except communists. We’re going to the Brickyard. My uncle got us approved to ride up and see some practice laps.”
The Brickyard was apparently a nickname insiders used for the motor racing track that held the Indy 500. An hour away. Joy.
Terry recalled her dad watching it on TV every year. Okay, so maybe you’re being a holy terror right now. Knock it off.
“And this is his car?” Ken asked.
Terry recalled one of the first things Alice had ever told them. “I thought you were going to buy a Firebird for yourself. How much more do you need?”
“I decided to save it just in case,” Alice said.
Ken touched the toe of his dirty white Converse All-Star to the front tire, in lieu of kicking it and bringing down Alice’s wrath. “This is a long drive. I wish pot did anything for me right now.”
“There will be no marijuana smoking in this car.” Alice shook her head. “It’s practically new. And it’s not even mine. It’s borrowed. I have to wash it every week for three months.”
Gloria raised her eyebrows. “Which you probably volunteered for, so you could drive it.”
Alice looked up at the brilliant blue sky specked with fluffy clouds. Terry took that as confirmation.
Her arranging this Saturday expedition was nice, but Terry could’ve used a nap. She’d developed a theory that Alice’s revelation Eight had been to see her that last time was what prevented her from seeing Kali again. Brenner must have found out. She prayed the girl was all right.
And then yesterday she’d gotten the phone call. Andrew was reporting to basic. He’d be coming to say goodbye in two days. Less. Forty hours now from goodbye to the person she loved, and praying he’d ever come back.
Every wall was closing in, and the worst thing was Terry felt powerless to stop them. She’d never felt this way before. Terry Ives was a fighter. It was who she was. It was who her dad had wanted her to be. Who her mom had grudgingly approved of. Becky wouldn’t like any of this but Terry had gone too far to stop now.
“Wipe that frown off.” Alice gave Terry the order with a pointed finger. “Turn it upside down. Get in the car.”
“Fine.” Terry lifted her hand and pointed at her eyes as she rolled them. Then she forced her mouth into a crazed grin.
They piled in awkwardly. Terry shifted around in the narrow seat, trying and failing to get comfortable. The leather creaked.
“I feel like a clown,” Gloria said.
“Do not compare this beautiful piece of machinery, this work of mechanical art, to a clown car.” Alice turned on the car and the engine roared to life. She shouted over it, “Just listen to that symphony!”
“Loud,” Terry groused. Though she had to admit, the car smelled nice. New.
“You’ll see.” Alice jerked the car into gear and reversed too fast for Terry’s taste. It was a trend that continued.
Terry worried about getting a speeding ticket, because Alice clearly did not. They ate up the highway and okay, sure, if Terry had to admit it, somewhere about twenty minutes in, with Alice still grinning at the wheel and the windows cracked as they passed cars with abandon, she started to have fun.
Guilt followed on its heels, but she forced it back. No one should feel guilty to be alive. To be happy. To have one moment when you pretended every shitty thing in the world that wasn’t happening to you right then wasn’t happening.
As long as you didn’t keep pretending forever.
Terry reached over and slowly pecked the wheel to get Alice’s attention. She mouthed the words Thank you.
Alice grinned wider and shouted, “You’re welcome!”
Gloria and Ken’s laughs behind them were like music. Terry would do anything she had to protect the people in this car.
Anything.
1.
Gloria knew something was up as soon as she entered the dining room at home.
For one thing, her mom had made her favorite pink Jell-O salad with marshmallows and cranberry bits—a side dish usually reserved for Thanksgiving. Hardly weeknight fare. For another, her dad had put a stack of new comic books beside her plate. He hardly ever brought them home—he liked it when she came by the store and could critique the entire selection to make sure he wasn’t getting his ordering wrong. The X-Men had been the lone comic she adored, but that didn’t sell.
“What happened? Is Granny okay?” she asked.
“Granny’s fine,” her mom said from the foot of the table. “Come sit down.”
“We had a call from the school,” her father said, “and they insisted you stay, even offered scholarship money. The doctor who runs that research experiment is coming by for dinner—he’ll be here directly. He seems very impressed with you.”
Brenner at dinner at her parents’ table? After he’d sent Terry to bug them. She’d begun to hope that maybe getting out of the experiment wouldn’t be as difficult as she assumed. But whatever response she’d expected, it hadn’t been quite this personal.
“I’ll be right back,” she said, picking up the comics. “I should run these up to my room.”
Her father winked at her. “Don’t want the doctor asking you about the funny books, huh?”
“That’s right.” She waited until she got into the hallway and dragged a breath through her nose. There was a knock at the door. She didn’t want to answer it.
“Honey, can you get that?” her mom said, which wasn’t a question.
She put her precious comic books under a newspaper, smoothed her skirt, and donned a pleasant expression. Only then did she open the door.
She blinked to find Alice on the other side of it.
“Alice?”
“I’m sorry to come without calling, but I didn’t have your number and I called the shop and they said you were home already and—”
“It’s fine,” Gloria said and pulled Alice inside. “Except I just found out Dr. Brenner is coming for dinner.”
Alice looked as shocked as Gloria felt.
“My little experiment with what he’d do to keep us backfired. You should probably leave before he gets here.” Gloria frowned. “Why are you here?”
“I need to talk to you about something,” Alice said. “But you’re right, I should go.”
“Too late,” Gloria said. A shadow approached the wavy door-glass. A knock followed it. “He’s here.”
“Mom, can you set another place? My friend Alice is joining us,” Gloria called.
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Her mom poked her head out into the hallway, taking in Alice’s informal attire. “Of course,” she said, as if she didn’t disapprove of women wearing pants at the table. Gloria adored her parents. She hated the idea of them being nice to Brenner.
Another knock. Gloria had no choice but to open the door.
“Hello, Dr. Brenner,” she said, pasting her smile on as firmly as possible. “Welcome to our humble home. You already know Alice, of course. She came by for…”
Gloria hadn’t thought through this sentence.
“Supper,” Alice put in. “I hear Mrs. Flowers’ cooking is legendary. And this home isn’t that humble.” When Gloria raised her eyebrows, she said, “It’s beautiful, is all I mean.”
In any other circumstance, it would have made Gloria laugh.
Dr. Brenner said, “What a pleasant surprise; not just one promising lab subject but two.”
“Right this way,” Gloria said and linked her arm through Alice’s so she wouldn’t be forced to walk alongside Brenner.
Her father stood, and the usual male handshake and friendly back-patting greeting occurred. Gloria’s mother returned with a place setting for Alice.
“We’re so happy to have you here, Dr. Brenner,” her mother said.
He nodded as if to say Of course, and didn’t even bother to get her name. Figured.
“Now,” Gloria’s father said as he motioned for everyone to be seated and serve themselves, “tell us how wonderful our Gloria is.”
“I’m so glad we won’t be losing her to California,” Dr. Brenner said, looking only at her father. “I’ve talked to the fellows there, friends of mine, and told them we must keep her here.”
Gloria heard Alice make a choking sound.
Gloria reached out and scooped a giant lump of pink salad onto her plate.
“Have some chicken, too, glorious girl,” her mom said. “And you too, Alice.”
“I’m curious, Gloria, why you considered leaving?” Dr. Brenner asked, eyes only for her now.
