by J. K. Holt
Unlike Wharfton, which always smelled of salt and fish no matter the direction of the wind, Merktown smelled of pine and loam, like the forests that surrounded the town. No potholes dotted the roads, and the storefronts, even at this time of year, were kept clean and tidy. Here, the villagers took their time as they walked the streets, stopping to greet one another or peruse storefronts, their faces open, smiles given freely. Carefree- this was the word that jumped into Tess’s head as she studied them.
Perhaps this was the way people in Wharfton might act too, without the constant worry of forces beyond their control, loved ones lost or blurred, the amorphous malevolent force always lurking, never defined. Tess resented Merktown’s people their ease of manner and quick trust just as she envied them for it- the feelings were two sides of the same bitter coin.
Their rooms were spacious, high ceilinged affairs that felt qualitatively different than the previous establishments in which they’d stayed. A proper dining room took up much of the first floor, filled with many gregarious customers, and Tess and Fish supped on the famous freshwater trout Fish had been drooling over during their last leg of the trip. It melted in Tess’s mouth. She kept herself from groaning as she ate, but just barely. From his expression, Fish was battling to do the same. They brought two plates up to the rooms for Loren and Rosie as well, Tess muttering one last prayer of thanks for Rosie’s uncle and his deep pockets. His connections would be missed.
But the true luxury was the bath. A full tub, filled by helpful and ready hands with steaming water, that Tess slipped under as if basking in the embrace of a lover. Her first true bath since arriving here. She stayed longer than she should have, soaking in the moment, until her fingers were prunes and the water had begun its slow transition towards lukewarm. Large, soft towels were within reach as she emerged, and she took the time to dry her hair properly, massaging the tips with the soft cloth and noticing for the first time, with her hair down, how long it had grown in the last several months. She’d not had a haircut since arriving, and it now fell well past her shoulders, soft curls springing back to frame her face. They’d been tight when she was a child, reminiscent of Shirley Temple, but had loosened with the slow toll of gravity over the years, turning more to soft waves.
Tess found a small mirror, not difficult in this town, and was surprised to see the grown woman who looked back at her. It was peculiar- her face was wholly familiar and quite obviously her own, but there was something in her expression that felt foreign. There was no slight smile, no false and fragile need to please; her mouth was set and determined, her eyes confident as she took herself in, liking what she saw in the change, as if she’d finally begun to grow into herself.
She savored the feeling, trying to hold onto it as she dressed and then met with Rosie quickly outside of the room she had claimed for herself and Loren. “I want the room with him tonight.”
“You’ve done plenty recently,” Rosie said. “I can take a turn.”
“No, I mean I want another chance with Loren alone.”
Rosie took her meaning and nodded, ever practical. “Be certain to get some sleep yourself, though. We can’t stay more than two nights before we need to be on our way. And we’ll have to make a decision before then about what to do with him,” she said, nodding towards the door. “It will be harder to do if we’re all tired when we decide.”
Tess sighed, rubbing her temple. “I don’t know how involved Fish should be in deciding what to do about Loren.”
Rosie shook her head. “We can’t make that decision without him- it’s much too large. And it’s not right of you to take that from Fish without giving him the chance. He’s not let his feelings cause any problems so far. Trust me, I’d be the first to resent him for it if he had.”
Something rotten took up residence in Tess’s stomach as she felt the truth in Rosie’s words. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”
Rosie shrugged. “I thought about it as well before I came to my decision. I won’t mention your doubts to him. You wouldn’t have stuck to them either, given the chance to weigh it out in your own mind.”
Tess looked down. “Thank you.”
Rosie stepped around her and was gone. She’d erased just a bit of Tess’s confidence, and in some strange way, Tess was grateful.
∞ ∞ ∞
The beds were warm and deep, and Tess had fallen asleep while waiting for Loren to do the same. She awoke in the magic hour before dawn, with only her gut to tell her that the world was on its way to stirring again. She turned slowly and slipped her feet onto the cold wood floor beneath her, shifting to her knees as she knelt beside Loren. He lay on his back, face turned in her direction. He looked to be dreaming.
With no time to waste, she grasped his shoulder with her hand and knelt close, jumping in to join him.
A lone figure stood at the railing of a large boat- possibly the Blackbirder, though Tess wasn’t certain. At closer inspection, the figure was Loren, staring out into the horizon, a hint of color tinting the sky. He held a bag in his hands and she watched as he opened it and squeezed its contents out into his palm. Marbles, all aglow. Used spheres from blurring people, each containing the essence of the person they’d helped to erase.
He pushed them around in his hand as if looking for a specific one. None seemed to satisfy him. With a groan, he heaved back and threw them as Tess yelled “no!”. Once again, he did not seem to hear her. She heard the distant plops of the orbs hitting the water below, and then the sea began to glow, a eerie green that bubbled and frothed the water, as if the orbs were dissolving and exploding within its depths, releasing whatever energy had been held within them. Loren leaned over the railing and cursed at them, throwing the satchel in after them.
“Useless,” he muttered. “All of it. Less than useless. All for nothing.”
Tess reached out for him, taken aback by the immensity of the feelings that washed over her- frustration, coupled with sadness and a sense of deep grief. “Oh, Loren,” she said. “What have you done? What were you doing?”
Again, he did not respond.
She allowed her own frustration to bubble up, mirroring that of the sea beneath them. What is all this for? she thought, louder now. Tell me. Then- Tell me, Reydon.
He glanced up then, turning around towards the boat, though he did not see her. “Who’s there?”
What are you doing? she thought back.
Again he responded, as if a channel had been opened between them now that hadn’t been before. “Where are you?”
I’m here beside you. Tell me what you’re doing.
He looked over his shoulder, at where the evidence still burbled beneath him in luminescent hues. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I was angry. This is beginning to feel hopeless.”
Though she lacked the context, she responded intuitively. It’s not.
He shook his head and gripped the railing tightly as a tear snaked down his cheek. “How can you say that? You don’t know. We haven’t spoken directly in months. Maybe a year by now. You just sent me off to do your dirty work. And it’s only getting harder.”
Tess realized he thought he was talking to the same person she’d pretended to be in his head before- she changed her inflection and tone to match the same one she’d used with him then. What’s become harder?
“I’m having doubts.”
Is that really your place?
He scowled as he cast his gaze back to light, fading now on the horizon. “You made it my place, didn’t you, when you put me as your proxy in Wharfton. You gave me decisions to make, but I’m starting to think you didn’t tell me the full story.”
Oh? What do you think I left out?
The temperature shifted, and along with it the wind came. A loud sound came from the sea, like the crack of a whip, and Tess saw that the ocean had begun to freeze, huge whitecaps hardening as they rose, frozen in angry salute. The boat pitched forward, then slowed as it too became caught in the hardening seas, at an angle that caus
ed Loren to lean hard to port to maintain balance. He looked directionless as he surveyed his dreamscape, caught in a nightmare of his own making.
He wasn’t going to answer her last question, so she tried another tack, remembering his past words to her. Do you think what we’re doing is unimportant?
“Of course not,” he scoffed, looking insulted by the suggestion. “But I think we may be going about it the wrong way.”
Oh?
“Maybe the people would help us if they knew. Keeping them in the dark is keeping us as their enemies. It’s making resistance when we might instead be met with cooperation, if we only told them the truth.”
The world had grown hazy, like a picture fading from focus. Tess felt time running out.
What would we tell them, then? Reydon?
He had turned back, towards her voice, squinting as if he could begin to make out her form. She pressed harder. Reydon, tell me. How would you do it?
Then he was gone, and the world along with it. She was in blackness, but still she called into the void, attempting to pull him back to her somehow, desperate for more answers, for a way to begin to make sense of the pieces she had gathered.
She gave up a few moments later, retreating back into herself. And for the second time since she’d begun this trespass into his head, she opened her eyes to find Loren staring directly back at her, his black eyes filled with horror.
∞ ∞ ∞
Tess opened her mouth, willing an explanation to form itself on her lips, but none immediately came. Loren pulled himself up into a sitting position as she slipped back, swearing as his hands caught on the beam he was tied to.
“What were you doing?” he said. “Just then, were you…was that you?”
“I…” Tess fumbled. “I’m not sure what you meant. I fell asleep-”
“With your head next to mine?” He snorted. “Snails, you’re a bad liar. Try again.” He’d stopped moving, and there was something unsettling in his stillness as he studied her.
“Was that you in my head?” he asked, but it seemed as though he didn’t care for a response, because he kept going. “I was talking to- but it wasn’t her. It was you. How was it you? How did you do that?”
He remained still but his aura receded as it pulsed, as if tensing. He was scared, she realized. Scared of her. It seemed too late, but she tried again.
“Look, you were moaning in your sleep. I thought you were having a nightmare. I came over to wake you, but you were fast asleep, so I just stayed with you. I fell asleep myself. I have no idea what else you’re talking about.”
Uncertainty was creeping in, she could see it in his eyes. She tempered her face into one of concern, and skootched back until her back pressed against her own bed- perhaps some space would make her less threatening. “Are you okay? You’re acting even stranger than usual.”
A twisted expression crossed Loren’s gaunt face, and he pressed his hands to his eyes and rubbed, hard, as he spoke. “It had to be you. Snails, it felt so real. Like I could almost see you, and then I woke up and you were right here.”
“I told you,” Tess said. “I was talking to you, trying to wake you up. So maybe you did hear me.”
“But then… you said you fell asleep. So you should have been sleeping while I was dreaming.”
She shrugged, feeling nauseous and attempting to ignore it. “Dreams are funny things. Maybe it lasted much longer than you thought. Or maybe I was talking in my sleep. I don’t know, Rey-”
She bit off the name quickly, but too late, and he caught the look of panic in her face as he lowered his hands. “What did you just say?”
“I was only-”
“-Reydon. How on earth did you know that? How…” he trailed off as his mind made the connections faster than Tess could convince him otherwise, and she knew there was no hope trying. A thousand excuses flew into her mind and exited just as quickly, utterly useless.
He leaned forward. “What are you?”
She took offense. “I’m not a what. And as you’re no more interested in telling me anything about yourself, I have no reason to be more forthcoming with you.”
“You were inside my mind.” It seemed to occur to him that this might be something he should himself be offended about, and his look changed to indignation. “How dare you?”
“How dare I? Are you serious? You steal people’s souls and you’re seriously angry at me for tiptoeing in on a dream?”
“You admit it!”
She pushed herself to her feet and paced to the door and back before sitting on her own bed. The conversation had become a runaway train that was no longer in Tess’s control.
“Have you done that before?” Loren asked. “Have you entered my head at other times? You have, haven’t you? That’s how you know my name. When? And how many other times? Tell me!”
Tess shook her head. She needed to buy time to regroup, and quickly. The light was growing outside, dawn rapidly approaching, which gave her an idea. “No. This isn’t going to go that way. I’ll tell you what you want to know, but you need to calm down. I’ll go downstairs and see if I can get us some breakfast. Then I’ll bring it back, and we’ll talk.”
She pulled on a warmer shirt and refused to look at Loren, who still hadn’t responded. Like it or not, this was the way it would go.
Rosie and Fish were still asleep by the lack of sound coming from their room. She didn’t disturb them as she padded downstairs. A few other customers were already in the dining area, their voices soft as they ate. Tess found a table and waited until she could request two plates of whatever warm breakfast they had handy, hoping it would give her enough time to consider what to tell Loren- no, Reydon. No use pretending otherwise now.
She couldn’t let him run the conversation. Maybe she could use his own words against him, convince him that telling her the truth about what he was doing might win her support, and possibly his freedom. He already knew from experience that she couldn’t be blurred, so she would just admit to the other piece, and try to tell as much truth as possible so that it would be easier to remember. She’d tell him that gaining access to his mind was a newfound power, and she’d used it to try to coax him back while he was recovering from his injuries. All true. And he didn’t need to know any more than that.
It was a start, at least.
By the time the food arrived, she felt she had at least a rough plan of attack. She rehearsed it as she balanced the bowls and returned to the room. Her confidence was returning that she could turn this around.
As such, it was quite unfortunate that Reydon was no longer there.
Chapter Nine
“Snails, what happened, Fish?” Rosie’s face was beginning to morph from red to a violent shade of purple- Tess considered checking her ears for steam.
Fish was rubbing his head as he lay on Tess’s bed. She’d found him on the floor beside it, unconscious, and had retrieved Rosie for reinforcement. Rather than help, Rosie had bolted towards the stairs after assessing the situation, leaving Tess to tend to Fish. Tess had been relieved beyond measure when he’d begun to come to just a few minutes later, and she had been able to help him move from the hard floor to the bed. She’d brought him the breakfast originally intended for Reydon and made him drink some water, though he wasn’t much interested in the food.
Rosie had returned some twenty minutes later, and the look in her eyes made it clear she’d found no sign of Reydon. Now she was looking for someone to blame, and Fish seemed just miserable and guilty enough to allow it to be him.
“I don’t know,” he answered. “I woke up, got dressed, and came in to check on Loren and Tess,” he said. “Only Loren was the only one here, and he told me Tess was getting breakfast and asked if I could untie him so he could relieve himself. I’d gotten too comfortable. I didn’t even think about it before untying him. And I didn’t have my knife handy. I wasn’t expecting him to-” he shook his head, disgust painting his mouth in ugly lines. “Next thing I know, I’m on the floo
r and Tess is looming over me.”
Rosie kicked at the nearby bed, her aura radiating out in angry bursts of energy. “Rot! Mother of all unholy things!” She kicked another post, for good measure, and sat down in a huff. Tess suspected she’d nearly broken a toe that time.
“This makes no sense,” Rosie said, a shade calmer. “Why now? He’d had plenty enough opportunities. He could have done it as soon as we came into town.”
Tess sighed. “I know why.”
She sat beside Fish. “It’s not your fault- it’s mine. I tried to enter into his mind again, early this morning. He was dreaming, and somehow this time he became aware of me. Then he woke up before I’d pulled myself out, and he found me next to him. I tried to make excuses, but fumbled it. He knew what I’d done. I told him I was going to get breakfast and we could talk it out when I returned, to buy myself some time. He must have seen his chance to escape with Fish. And we know he’s an excellent actor- he played it off as a normal morning. You had no way of knowing, Fish. Please don’t blame yourself. This is entirely on me.”
“But why escape?” Rosie said. “Doesn’t this gift of yours make you potentially more valuable to him?”
“I have no idea. But consider this- Loren, or Reydon, or whoever he is, had no way of knowing how many times I’d been able to enter his head. He works for an organization that is entirely built upon secrets, and for all he knows, I’ve been diving into his mind as he sleeps, when he’s most vulnerable, on a regular basis. That would have been completely unacceptable to him. He must have realized he couldn’t risk the exposure for another second, to protect whatever he had left hidden away.”
Rosie had begun kneading the toe she’d used so violently moments before, her face screwed into an intense concentration. “So, valuable or not, he had to remove himself from the equation,” she murmured. “It wouldn’t do him any good to have you, if you have that control over him.” Her eyes flitted back and forth, making connections for another moment before her expression grew grim and she jumped up, starting for the door.
