He exhaled. “Yes you do. Love you, sweetheart.”
Keith stepped back, but the heat he’d woken up in my body did not dissipate. He might be right. But how could I reconcile feeling like I need to put a wide gap between them and myself with wanting them each deep inside of me over and over again.
I was still contemplating this problem when I stormed into the control room and pressed down on the comm. Tommy raised his eyebrows at me in question. I didn’t blame him. It might have behooved me to listen to the message before I responded to it.
Keith rocked back on his feet and shook his head. He was obviously not going to tell Tommy anything. Or maybe he would. What did I know?
I had to say something. “Hello, ah, yes. This is Paloma Delacroix. I used to live on Mars Station and…”
“Paloma?” I knew the voice on the other line. It was Melissa Alexander herself. They must really not have enough staff if she was working comms. “It’s Melissa, darling.”
I couldn’t help but smile. She’d been kind to me when I lived on the station. I was her daughter’s best friend. I think she had seen how cold my father was and the ways I’d been used in political maneuverings. In turn, she’d made sure I could always join them in their family suites and made me feel at home.
“Hi, Melissa. I’m on this ship. Can you let us dock? Is there something specific I’m supposed to say?”
I heard laughter on the other side. “I’m not concerned with protocol at the moment. Yes, land. But please tell whomever is controlling that ship of yours that we will come on to inspect for weapons before you are allowed to disembark onto the station. Docking Bay Four. Melissa, out.”
“Well, that was easy.” Tommy whirled around in his chair. “She sounded chipper to hear your voice.”
Clay stood in the doorway. “Her daughter’s missing. It’s probably nice to hear the voice of someone connected to her.”
“Right.” My heart panged thinking of Diana. I hoped she was okay. “Um, we’re all going to have to talk about what happened.” I really needed to cut to the chase. “The ship got destroyed. Okay. That happened. What took place during and after is of concern to me. Not this minute. Later. All together. Okay?”
Tommy chewed on his bottom lip. “You don’t think that some things are maybe better off not analyzed too much?”
“Maybe when we all know each other longer. For now, I’m going to want to talk.”
I hoped I was clear enough.
I didn’t know the men who boarded the ship to search it. Weapons had to be locked up on the station; they couldn’t even stay on the ship. This was clearly not the McQueen brothers first go at getting onto a space station. There were hidey-holes all over the ship where they stashed weapons they didn’t have on their manifest and tablets they didn’t want downloaded into Mars’ computer. When all was said and done, the guards found nothing the McQueens didn’t want them to find.
Tommy, Quinn, Keith, and Clay seemed like really clean-cut space travelers who were bringing me back to where I’d grown up. No one would know that the four missing heirs of the Sandler Cartel were about to board Mars Station.
The first thing that hit me when I stepped off the shuttle was the smell. I hadn’t anticipated it, but the oil, the herbs burning in the distance, the tapped-in oxygen—it was all home to me. I took two deep breaths, and my knees nearly buckled.
Clay pulled me into his arms and didn’t move when the tears started. I heard conversation around me. Quinn didn’t know why I was crying, and the others seemed to want it to stop. But Clay didn’t let go or make any moves to hush me up.
Finally, the tears stopped. I let go of his shirt. I must have been digging my hands through the material without even realizing it. He’d likely be bruised from my fingernails. I was spent. So much had happened. And I was finally home.
Even if my family no longer lived here and never would again. “Sorry.”
Clay kissed my forehead. “It would have been weird if you hadn’t reacted. You’ve been through trauma. A lot of it.” He put his arm around me. “We’ve been given rooms and orders from the people in charge to come see them at our earliest convenience.”
“Well, shit,” a voice called from the doorway, and we all turned to look. Ari Bennett leaned against the doorframe of the docking bay. “I never get invited to see Melissa Alexander and her peeps. Must need to be a hot girl or something to get an audience with the lady and her husbands.”
Clay snorted, and the others made similar noises. Tommy ran ahead and embraced Ari. They were obviously as close as I’d thought they would be.
Ari was tall with blondish-brownish hair he kept back in a ponytail. He was handsome, except, to me, he didn’t hold a candle to the McQueens. He was a psychiatrist although these days he didn’t practice that particular medicine except in secret. For almost the entire length of time I’d been gone, he’d been on Mars Station working as a primary care physician in the hopes of making a connection with the Alexander family and bringing them into the fold with the McQueens. He was their first cousin on their mother’s side.
Once when I’d had a freak out, Tommy had set me up to speak to him remotely. I liked him a lot—despite the constant flirting, which I supposed was just something he did with all women. I actually wondered if it somehow distanced him from people, kept them from really seeing him past the outside show.
Outside of the McQueens, I didn’t know if anyone really knew Ari.
I walked to him slowly, and he opened his arms like we were old friends and should share a hug. Maybe my being his cousins’ fiancée meant that I was now in the hug-zone. In any case, I wasn’t going to turn down the hug. To do so would turn the whole experience into a thing I didn’t need to deal with right then.
It was a quick hug, and then I was back in Clay’s embrace. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”
Meeting new people hadn’t used to stress me out. I’d been very good as a conversationalist when I lived here. Things had really changed. Should I have said something else?
He nodded. “You too. The whole station is abuzz with you returning. If it wouldn’t have been completely against protocol, I think Melissa, Nolan, and Wes would have all been here to greet you themselves. As it is, I checked the manifest and you’re all on one of the good hallways. Three rooms, connecting, usually reserved for delegates of import. My rooms aren’t so nice.”
A thought dawned on me. “Floor eight?”
“Yes.”
I nodded. I might lose it again. I had to keep it together better than this. “Those are my old rooms. My family’s suite from before.”
“Are you going to cry again?” Quinn winced as he asked the question. I didn’t know if that was because he realized he shouldn’t ask it or if the idea of my crying made him wince. In any case, Ari punched him in the shoulder, and the next thing I knew we were all laughing.
This was happening. I was back on Mars Station. The place was no longer secure, and we might have brought hell on our backs. But we were here.
We needed to go see Melissa, Nolan, and Wes as soon as possible. Ari had let us know that Melissa’s other husbands and one of Diana’s brothers had gone through the black hole after her. They had the bare minimum crew with them to run the station, which didn’t bode well against the fleet I had seen hidden and on its way here. I couldn’t imagine the station under attack without C.J. or Geoff here to handle things with the others.
I chewed on my nail. The last time I’d been here I’d lived such a life of complete la-la nothingness that I’d let an idiot take my virginity and I hadn’t even been smart about not getting caught. My parents had been so humiliated by the ordeal they’d left and moved to Earth where they had managed to successfully marry off my sister to three very wealthy water barons. My Dad finally had the life he thought he should have since he’d produced not one but two females for the galaxy. It just hadn’t come as a result of me.
We sat around a round table in the common room that was attach
ed to the three bedrooms in my former home, now guest quarters. My mother used to sew in the chair where Quinn sat drinking some water. He had been conspicuously silent since we’d arrived.
Tommy finally spoke. “I think we need to acknowledge some things.” He looked at all of us, including Ari. “We may not get a warm welcome.”
He was wrong. “They love me.”
“Yes, they do. But the second they realize who we are, that might change. We might have taken you from the Sisterhood and brainwashed you for all they know. You might be a spy. They’re not going to like that Ari was here under pretenses they weren’t aware of. There is every chance that we are all spending the night in jail.”
Ari rubbed his eyes. “Without Cooper here to talk sense into the crew, it’s possible. Nolan doesn’t play around. He’ll rush into danger to protect everyone else and make snap decisions.” Ari wasn’t wrong. Nolan had always been nice to me, but then again I’d never before given him reason not to be. Ari continued speaking. “Wes is business-like in how he deals with stress. Do this and then that. He follows a path. If Sandler equals evil to him and Nolan is on the same page, then we’re in big trouble. I still think this was worth the risk.”
Clay nodded. “Nothing gets better if we don’t start to work together. Small groups against Dad aren’t going to win. And since Earth doesn’t seem to want to get involved…”
“Maybe they need a tragedy to get their attention,” Quinn interrupted.
“Don’t cause a tragedy, Quinn. This is about getting back on track not losing it again. Not even in desperation do you play the game of your father.” Ari spoke directly to Quinn. “Don’t let him make you someone you’re not. Logical doesn’t mean cold.”
Quinn nodded and looked away. “I need to win. That’s all there is to it. I did this. I have to beat it.”
I touched his shoulder. “You have won. He didn’t destroy you. You’re here. You’re with us. We’re going to get married. You won. You beat him. Whatever we do now, it matters—but not in terms of whether or not you have won.”
I hoped I made sense. Ari raised his eyebrows and nodded once to me. “So then, do we do this? We go to Melissa and we tell her. Everything. And we see what happens. You up for it, darling?” He winked at me, and I rolled my eyes, which made his smile broader.
“Stop flirting with my fiancée.” Tommy stood. “Paloma, you’re with one of us this whole time unless we get dragged away to jail. This place is safe, relatively, but we can’t be certain that Garrison doesn’t have spies here. He can’t have too many or there would be bombs already under the floorboards and he wouldn’t be getting ready for a frontal attack. Still, I don’t want to risk being seen until we’ve done what we have to do.”
Keith held out his hand, and I took it. “Assuming we don’t get arrested, who wants to get married tomorrow?”
Quinn raised his hand. I smiled. A lot of the claustrophobia that had plagued me on the shuttle had fled. “I’m not saying no. If we don’t get arrested, we’ll see about tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Tommy kissed my cheek before he walked out into the hallway. I was home, but I wasn’t sure what kind of welcome this would turn out to be.
3
Out of the Frying Pan
Diana and I used to hide in Melissa’s private office to stare at ourselves in her mirror. Looking back, that was a strange thing to do. We’d spend hours staring into the full-length mirror—one of the luxuries Melissa had on the station thanks to her husbands’ preoccupations with wanting to make her happy. They’d individually save for years to come up with things that would bring a smile to her face.
I used to try to imagine what I would look like when I got older. If I’d be pretty. If I’d be enough to tempt the kind of husband or husbands my father wanted for me. The kind of man or men who could advance him. I’d picked out all my flaws. My nose wasn’t perfect; my chin was too round. Or I’d thought that my breasts didn’t look good in my outfit. Maybe my legs weren’t long enough.
The Sisterhood had knocked that right out of me. For that, I supposed, I could be grateful. Who had time to worry about small imperfections? Why did it matter? Everyone had them. On the station I had been lucky to be warm, fed, and not in fear for my life. I hadn’t appreciated it. I just hadn’t known how quickly it was all going to get awful.
I’d once asked Diana what she looked for. She’d smiled. Sometimes Diana said things I didn’t quite understand. She’d told me she was looking for any sign of her. Before I could ask her what that meant, Melissa had re-entered and kicked us out of the room.
I’d gone back to the half-length mirror and rolled my eyes at my reflection. I’d been so spoiled. So clueless. For the first time in my life, I was glad for the suffering I’d endured. At least there were things I better understood. At least I’d gotten a clue.
“Paloma.” Melissa rushed to me upon entering the room. “Thank the universe you got out of that place. We had no control. They’re your parents. They had every right to take you to the Sisterhood. But please believe we all grieved the thought of you being there. Especially Diana.” Her voice hitched when she said her daughter’s name before she covered it with a smile.
Melissa Alexander had always been beautiful, but then again, so had Diana. They were both on the smaller side with brown hair. Melissa had blue eyes whereas Diana had her father Geoff’s deep brown. Other than the brown hair, they didn’t look very much alike. Diana was, she had been told, a clone of her paternal grandmother, whom she had never met. In any case, they both made men sit up and stare. Melissa used her looks to keep people off guard. They underestimated her and then she came in for the kill.
“It was never your fault.” I smiled, nerves making me stiff. Would this woman, who had been a huge part of my entire life, stick me into the brig? Would she drag my almost husbands through the promenade in cuffs?
The thought gave me at least something to say. “The station has changed. I couldn’t believe all the new restaurants and shops. Did I see a sign for a theater?”
Melissa raised an eyebrow. “Are you not going to introduce me to your handsome young men? And I see Dr. Ari has joined us. Are they acquainted?”
The woman never missed a trick. I hadn’t yet introduced them. I never got the chance to speak.
“She’s not anxious to tell you, baby.” Nolan entered the room. He was a tall man who had, as far as I’d ever known, always been bald. He had earrings in both ears that sometimes gave me the impression of a pirate from old books. He wasn’t to be trifled with. Rumor had it he’d been born on a prison planet. I’d never asked Diana. Some things were better left unsaid. “Because these men are Thomas, Clay, Keith, and Quinn Sandler. Although they call themselves McQueen now.”
Well, that was that. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. That couldn’t be a good sign. How had they known, and why did they let us in here if they did? “You need to let me explain.”
“No,” Tommy interrupted me, coming up behind me to rub my lower back. “You don’t need to explain anything. That’s my job.”
Wes walked in through the door. He usually had a quick smile to go with his blue eyes and strawberry-blond hair. Not today, though. “If we really thought you were here to hurt us, Mr. Sandler, you wouldn’t have gotten through the door.”
“How did you know?” Quinn asked, still seeming like he was easygoing in the corner. Maybe he was. It was certainly hard to get a reading on Quinn.
“When you entered the station,” Wes answered before he walked over to Melissa and kissed her cheek. “We ran your faces through recognition software. Very basic stuff. I take it the four of you have been avoiding major places and keeping off the grid or you’d have been found before now. Maybe you thought that there weren’t accurate photos of you four to run anymore,”
“Here’s what we believe, and you can tell us if we’re wrong. We believe some unknown event caused the four of you to break rank with Garrison and leave his empire. You’ve hidden awa
y and would likely still be that way if you hadn’t fallen in love with her.” He nodded towards me. “And now you’ve brought her home.”
Tommy looked at Clay and then spoke. “Yes and no.”
Melissa narrowed her eyes. “Then maybe you’d better explain.”
“We were born Sandlers. I’m Thomas, that’s Clay and Quinn and Keith.” He looked at each of them as he spoke. “I was General Thomas Sandler of the Rochambeau.” I winced when he said the ship’s name. I hadn’t had enough time quite yet to get over what had happened. “The Rochambeau was lined up to attack you. They would have won. We destroyed it.”
None of them flinched. Quinn had taken that action all on his own, but now it was something attributed, publicly, to all four of them. Of course it was. I side-eyed Tommy as he spoke. They always stood together, the four of them against the world. What one of them did, all four did. And, I supposed, I did now, too.
The thought didn’t pain me the way I would have previously imagined it would.
“Ari Bennett is our first cousin on our mother’s side.” Ari saluted the air as Tommy kept speaking. If this had been a less tense situation, I might have laughed. “We sent him here in the hopes of making friends. That way, he could lay our case before you, the idea that we should be working together. He didn’t get anywhere. All of this was before Paloma.”
A muscle in Melissa’s cheek ticked. “For very good reason, we guard ourselves and our privacy. Your sticking Ari here under our noses simply illustrates the point.”
Tommy raised his hand. “We meant you no harm. Ari is a very good doctor. No one has ever complained about having him around.”
“He did fix Colin’s arm when it was broken and Dane wasn’t available,” Nolan affirmed. “It healed perfectly.”
Ari opened and closed his mouth. I thought that was probably smart thinking. The less talking the better at that moment.
Tommy continued, “Clay and I made the decision to leave our father and go off with our younger brothers. I’m not going to tell you why. Not ever. If that means that I never have your trust, then so be it. You said you guys are careful with each other. I get that. You have a small circle of people you trust. So do I. We can help each other, and as far as my—”
Loving Them Page 3
