“I’m fine … just scared myself, walking in dark parking lots. Uh, Damon?”
“Hmm?”
“Er, do you mind?” She wiggled around. “I can’t breathe.” His grip had tightened and her nose was pressed against his chest.
He quickly let go of her. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”
An awkward pause stretched between them. “What are you doing here? I mean—you know, what? Never mind.” She rubbed her arms. “It’s a public event. Of course you’re here.” What did she mean by asking him that, anyway? Everyone was here after all, but she didn’t really expect to run into him.
“Anna Victoria—”
“It’s okay.” Her hands went up defensively. “We don’t have to do this, not when we’re in public and both obviously on our personal time. I know I’m such a nuisance, and you don’t want me around so—”
“You’re not. And … and I don’t.”
She frowned. “Don’t what?”
“You’re not a nuisance. And I want you around.”
She huffed. “You certainly have a funny way of showing it. Listen, you don’t have to pretend. A-and maybe I’ll be out of your hair soon. End of the month. Next month, tops.”
His body went all stiff. “What do you mean?”
“I found something else,” she said. “Not right away, but I’ll be fine. I mean, it’s already been two weeks, and I got my paycheck and HR didn’t say anything about renewing, so I figured you didn’t want me—”
“It’s not that. I—” He took a step toward her and then paused. “I want you, Anna Victoria.”
“I told you, you don’t have to pretend—”
“I said, I want you.” His tone had a low, gravelly quality that made a delicious shiver run down her spine. “I’ve wanted you the first moment I saw you. I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.”
Her jaw dropped open. “But you … you walked away.”
“I know.”
“And you said … you said I ruined your life. You told me to go away.”
He took in a sharp breath. “No! I mean, it wasn’t you I was talking to.”
“Huh? It was just you and me there.”
“Yes but …” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I was … I was talking to my animal. My bear.”
“Your … bear?”
“I don’t know where to begin. But know this, Anna Victoria. I want you. Don’t ever think I don’t.” He looked her straight on, his green eyes ablaze. “How can I not? You’re my mate, and I won’t ever want anyone else but you.”
“I’m your what?”
“Er, I wasn’t going to lead with that, but …” He rubbed the back of his head. “You don’t know much about shifters, do you?”
She shook her head. “Almost nothing.”
“We … our animals recognize their mates right away. When I saw you at The Den, it immediately told me. You’re mine. My mate.”
“Like … soul mates?” Was he serious?
“Something like that. No one can really explain it … it just is. You just know. “
“But I’m not a shifter.”
“It doesn’t matter. Lots of shifters have human mates. But I don’t know what it’s like for you. You probably don’t feel the pull as much as I do, since you don’t have an animal inside you that tells you.”
Her knees felt weak, and she was lightheaded again. Mates? How was it possible? “Surely there’s a mistake.”
“No, there’s no mistake. You’re the one.”
The expression on his face told her he was dead serious. “But you … you’ve been avoiding me. Acting like a jerk around me.”
He looked at her sheepishly. “And I’m sorry. It hurt me more to do that, but I was fighting it. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“H-hurt me?”
He took a long, deep breath. “My animal … it’s not normal. I’m … it’s … I call it The Demon. Because it’s out of control. And I’ve … hurt someone before.”
Fear made her take a step back. She should run away, right now. But there was a part of her that wanted to know everything. “Tell me. Tell me what happened.”
“I …” His face turned blank, and there was a hollow look in his eyes. “My last mission. Kargan, the largest city in Durusha, an independent nation between the border of Turkmenistan and Afghanistan. We were supposed to be a peacekeeping force, made up of shifter and human soldiers. I was the commanding officer. It was Sunday. Market day.” He swallowed hard. “Intelligence initially said it was safe to go inside the market building. I sent a small team to investigate a secret cell of a well-known terrorist group.
“But at the last minute, my instinct said something was wrong. So I ran after them. I didn’t make it. The explosion … it leveled the entire building. It was chaos … people running in the opposite direction as I tried to get to my team. There were too many, and they were trampling me. I was getting hurt, so … my bear took over. I don’t remember much, but I’ve seen some footage. It wasn’t pretty.” He grimaced. “It took three rounds of tranquilizers to stop me. And when I woke up, I was told my entire team perished. At least we thought so. One member survived. He’d been trapped in the building for three days.”
It’s like he’s come back as a shell of himself. J.D.’s words made so much sense now. “Oh, Damon.” She didn’t know why, but she took a step forward and placed a hand on his cheek. “It wasn’t your fault. It was the terrorists who blew up that building.”
“I was the commanding officer.” His jaw remained set, but he turned his face to nuzzle at her palm, a move that made electricity shoot up her arm. Then he froze and pulled her hand away. “They put me on leave, and I went to all the shrinks and doctors they told me to go to. I wanted to be well. And to get back into action. After six months, I thought I was getting better. Hated crowds, still do, but I was getting better. Until …” He took a deep breath. “Only Gabriel knows about this. It was covered up. But … if you want to stay away from me after you hear this, I’ll understand.”
“What happened?” She was itching to know. “Please, just tell me.”
“I don’t want to, because I don’t want you to know what a monster I truly am, but I will because you deserve the truth.” Soulful green eyes bore into her. “I was out with my buddies, these guys I went to boot camp with. We were at a bar outside Fort Carson and these base bunnies, er, girls were there. They were … friendly.”
She grimaced, which made him wince. Clearing her throat—and trying to ignore that ugly, jealousy rising up in her—she said, “Go on.”
“I went home with one of them. So, we’re at her place. On her couch. And I … The Demon starts going crazy. That’s not something normal. See, it’s taboo for animals to make their presence known when, uh, their human sides are getting intimate.”
“It’s not?”
“It’s just not done; it’s their instinct to leave shit like that alone. They don’t get involved in our sexual lives. But my bear … it wouldn’t stay away. I tried ignoring it, but when I did, it only got louder and more violent. I … shifted again without meaning to. I lost control, blacked out. When I woke up … I was in the base hospital.”
“A-and the woman?”
“She got scared and ran away, but Command had her tracked down. The general at the time did all he could, used every resource, to make sure she didn’t say anything about what happened. Shifters like me—the ones in the military—we’re too valuable. They didn’t want a scandal, so they covered everything up. But I was discharged after that.” He buried his face in his hands. “I can’t … that’s why I can’t claim you as my mate … I could hurt you. I nearly did that night we kissed.”
“But you didn’t hurt her, and you didn’t hurt me,” she pointed out. “And as for your guys … that’s not your fault. Like you said, you got bad intelligence and you tried to help them.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that five good men died, and I ruined the life of a good friend,” he said. “I was
their commanding officer.”
God, the hurt in his eyes was too much. Her throat was burning with tears for him. “I’m so sorry, Damon. I had no idea … thank you for telling me all this. It can’t be easy.”
“You deserve to know the truth. It doesn’t excuse the way I’ve been treating you. I promise to be better. But now you know why I can’t … why we can’t be together. I can’t risk it. I can’t risk you.”
The finality of his words plucked at her chest, making it ache fiercely. She had only known they were mates five minutes ago, and yet something inside her screamed that this wasn’t right. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“I’ll find a way for you to keep the job, while avoiding each other. I’ve done it this week, so I can keep out of your way until you’ve found something else.”
She watched him turn on his heel and walk away from her. Again, there it was. In her mind. In her heart. Her entire being saying, no, this was wrong. She’d never felt like this, perhaps because for the first time in her life, there was finally something in her life worth fighting for.
“Damon!” she called as she sprinted after him. “Stop! Please.”
He turned around. “What—mmm!”
Her body propelled into him, and he caught her just in time as she leapt up to kiss him. Oh my. Her arms snaked around his neck; her mouth desperate as she pressed her lips against his. He didn’t respond, at least not for the first two seconds. But soon, his mouth moved under hers. Hands lifted her up, and she had no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist.
He let out a soft growl, nipped at her lips, then devoured her mouth. The kiss deepened, his tongue slipping between her teeth to coax hers out. God, he tasted like the warm sun and grass and nature, and every delicious masculine thing she could think of. Everything about this moment, the way their mouths melded, their tongues danced, bodies pressed against each other, the heat surrounding them, was just perfect. She didn’t want it to end, but he pulled away.
Leaning his forehead against hers, he let out a sigh. “I’m too broken for you,” he said. “We shouldn’t do this. I’m a mons—”
“Stop saying that.” True anger bubbled in her. “And so that’s it?” She slid out of his grasp but didn’t back away. Instead she stood toe-to-toe with him. “You get to decide all this? What about what I want?”
“And what do you want?”
“I …” She took his hands in hers. “I want you, too, Damon. I’m not a shifter, I don’t have an animal inside me, but I do know I want you. I can feel it in my soul, you and me. This is how it’s supposed to be.”
“But I could hurt you.”
“You can’t.” Gripping his hands tighter, she pulled them to her lips and kissed his fingers. “I’m your mate, right? Why would your bear hurt me?”
He stiffened. “What do we do now?”
What indeed? “Why don’t you … walk me back to the diner? We don’t have to go out there,” she cocked her head toward the crowded Main Street, “but maybe we can just talk.”
“All right.” He took one of her hands and threaded it through his. “Lead the way.”
They walked hand in hand, through empty parking lots, making their way back to the diner.
“Anna Victoria … will you have dinner with me? Next week?” he asked.
Her heart fluttered in her chest. “Yes,” she agreed. “That would be nice.”
“There’s an Italian restaurant in town, or we could check out one of the newer places in South Blackstone,” he said.
“Will you be okay going out?” she asked, squeezing his hand.
“A restaurant on a weeknight should be fine,” he said. “Just … no clubs or crowded bars.”
“Whatever you decide will be fine,” she said. “Oh, here we are.” They arrived at the lot behind the diner. J.D. and the other girls were still sitting at the table, though there were more people with them now. Gabriel was there, but she also recognized Matthew Lennox, and the man beside him was definitely his twin.
“Anna Victoria!” J.D. waved at them. “What happened? You were gone so long and … Damon?” Her eyes practically popped out of their sockets when her gaze landed on their linked hands. “Guys?” She smirked at them. “Care to tell us what’s going on?”
Her cheeks warmed as several pairs of eyes fixed on them.
“It’s all right,” Damon began. “Anna Victoria is my mate.”
“You’re shitting me, right? She’s your mate?” J.D. exclaimed. “I had a feeling there was something special about her since you’ve never shown an interest in any female in forever, but I didn’t think it was that.”
“Congratulations, Damon,” Matthew said. “A mate and the bond is a special thing.” He looked at Catherine, his face completely lighting up.
Everyone offered their congratulations as well, including Gabriel. “Well, I’m glad it didn’t take you another week to get your head outta your ass,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder.
“Gabriel knew?” J.D. shot Damon a look of betrayal. “Before me?”
“I only found out about an hour ago,” the lion shifter said defensively. “And that was after I cornered him back at the station. So,” he turned to them. “What’s next?”
“Next?” Damon’s brows drew together.
“We’re going on a date next week,” Anna Victoria offered.
“I want it to be special,” Damon admitted.
“Next week?” J.D. tsked and shook her head. “What the hell are you waiting for? Spring?” She slapped Damon on the shoulder, then gestured around them, “This is a winter carnival. It’s snowing. They have hot drinks and sweet junk food you can feed each other while you canoodle. How much more special can you get?”
“Well, I—”
Gently, she turned them around and pushed them away from the picnic table. “Here. It’s your first date. Now, go and be romantic, make out in public until everyone around you is sick, and,” she winked at Anna Victoria, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Which isn’t a whole lot, by the way.”
“J.D.,” Damon warned.
She rolled her eyes. “You guys deserve this. I won’t wait up.” She wiggled her eyebrows at Anna Victoria. “Now go.”
She looked up at him. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
And then he surprised her, as a smile lit up his face. It was a true, genuine one and sent her heart aflutter once again. “I want to.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss on her palm. “There’s nothing else I want more.”
Chapter Nine
Damon couldn’t recall the last time he’d enjoyed himself. Or had been this happy. And he knew, it was because of Anna Victoria.
It wasn’t just because she was his mate, it was everything about her. The way her pansy-blue eyes sparkled when she laughed. Or how she gestured with her hands when she talked. Simply put, being around her made him happy.
The Demon, too, seemed content. In fact, except for a satisfied chuff here and there, it was mostly quiet, staying out of his way.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her face full of concern. “Is this too much? Do you want to move somewhere else?”
Since the crowds on Main Street were too much for him, they decided to go around the shops and stick to the less crowded backstreets. The library was located at the far end of Main Street and had fewer people, but they had kept the lights on so people could sit on the benches in front of the building. Anna Victoria had volunteered to get them food and drinks, insisting that he needed to stay and “save their prime spot” under one of the street lamps, but he knew it was her way of not making him feel bad about his anxiety in crowds.
“No, this is fine.” He reached over and plucked free a snowflake stuck between her lashes. “But you must be freezing.”
“Then keep me warm,” she said saucily.
He put his cup of hot chocolate down. “Now, I like that idea.” Snaking an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her close, leaning down t
o press his lips to hers. This was the first time he’d attempted to kiss her tonight since their last kiss in the parking lot behind the hardware store. It was just his luck that he’d parked one building over and saw her, looking frightened. He didn’t know what spooked her, but he was glad he had caught up with her and they were able to iron things out. Telling her she was his mate hadn’t been his plan, nor was baring his soul to her, but he couldn’t stand the idea that she thought he didn’t want her, not when the only thing he wanted was her.
She moaned against his mouth and moved closer to him, her lips warm and eager. Unable to stop himself, he hauled her onto his lap, their bodies urgently pressing against each other underneath all their layers of clothing.
“Anna Victoria,” he began as he pulled away. “I know this is only our first date but—”
“Yes,” she said, cutting him off.
He chuckled. “You don’t even know what I’m going to ask you.”
Unmistakable desire glittered in her eyes. “If you’re asking me to go back to your place, then the answer is definitely yes.”
Her words shot lust straight to his groin, and he groaned when his erect cock brushed up against her. “I …”
“Well? What were you going to ask me?”
He couldn’t recall now exactly. “Yes. I mean, I want you to come home with me.”
“Good.” She laid her head on his chest and took a deep breath. “I love your cabin. It’s so beautiful out there.”
“Mm-hmm.” He inhaled her sweet scent as he nuzzled at her temple. “I’m glad.” Pulling her up, he tucked her hand into his arm. “My truck’s parked not too far away. Let’s go.”
They giggled and kissed like young lovers as they made their way to the parking lot. He opened the door for her and helped her inside, then rounded the vehicle back to the driver’s side.
Her presence and scent filling the small cab of his truck was overwhelming, and it was a wonder he even managed to start the truck or even make the drive back without losing his patience and just taking her right there. He was nearly home when he remembered something important, something she may not have realized about his confession earlier.
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