We’ve also decided to tell her parents about the quickie marriage. There’s no need to tell them really. But Angela doesn’t want it to be a secret anymore. More importantly since all of our siblings and my cousins know, she doesn’t want everyone to have to watch their tongues or risk letting something slip and upsetting her parents.
Our divorce papers arrived on Friday afternoon. I’ve looked over them, but I haven’t signed them yet. We agreed that once we’ve both read over it, we could sit down together and discuss anything that we did not agree with. It's pretty simple though. We both leave the marriage with what we brought into it. I don’t know if Angela has read through her copy yet. I suggested she get a lawyer to look at it for her.
I unlock her apartment and slip inside. It feels weird being here without her. I look among the pile of folded clothes that belongs to me and find the T-shirt.
A sheet of paper on the small table she’s using for… well, everything, catches my eye. Marketing Consultant Business Plan. It’s not a formal business plan, just notes of the research she’s been doing. I knew she’s been giving the idea some thought, I just didn’t know she was ready to take it seriously.
My first instinct is to offer my help in drawing up a formal business proposal and plan. I pause and smile. Yeah, I can imagine how well that conversation will go. Hey Angel, I snooped around your apartment and found your work on an idea you’re not ready to talk about. That conversation was not going to go well. And frankly, I like getting laid. I’d like to keep those privileges.
I mean, until a few nights ago we’d still been doing it every single day. Sometimes more than once. I’m not complaining that we’ve slowed down a bit, that’s normal I suppose. It’s just noteworthy. She said her libido is usually low when she’s due to get her period. But if I’m calculating properly, she should’ve had it at least once since we’ve been together. Maybe I’ll get a better idea of her cycle after a few months. Still, it’s niggling at me. Obviously, I haven’t been with her while she’s at work. But both yesterday and this morning, she’d been throwing up.
Yeah, I’m thinking that she might be pregnant. I don’t want to dwell on it though. The idea doesn’t scare me. But the idea of getting my hopes up and having them crushed. That’s a little scary.
I decide to put it out of my mind. If she’s still getting sick over the next few days, I’ll bring it up again. Besides, we’ve been careful.
When I arrive back at my apartment, Angela is already dressed and read to go. Within minutes we’re out the door and headed to her parents. She’s visibly nervous.
I take her hand. “Look, if they don’t take things too well, I’ll get you out of there as soon as I can.”
“You promise?” She’s chewing her lower lip. It would be adorable if it wasn’t a sign of how worried she is.
“I promise.” I give her hand a squeeze. “We did this together. We’ll handle it together. I’m not going to throw you to the wolves. Besides, my grandfather will be there as well.”
She covers her face with her hand. “Oh, God. Your grandfather. He’s so proud of you. I don’t want him to be disappointed in you.”
“Look, if you want, we can tell them once the divorce is final.”
“I know that seems like the easiest solution.” It’s not, but I don’t argue. “But the longer we keep this secret, the longer the rest of our family needs to lie. I can’t do that to them. My mother is going to be pissed with everyone as it is.”
Maybe she’s right. Now more than ever, I want it to be that we didn’t make a mistake in Vegas. Impulsive? Yes. But if we want to stay married, then it’s not a mistake. Is that what I want? I can certainly see myself being married to her. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I’m in love with her.
I tighten my hands on the steering wheel. My thoughts have me reeling. I’m really in love with her. I don’t want a divorce. Sure, it’s a quick hop from being in love to wanting to be married, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life.
It seems nothing has changed. Her parents still greet me as warmly as they always have. Only Andi and my grandfather have joined us. I suppose all of Angela’s siblings decided to skip dessert when she told them she was telling her parents about the marriage.
Her mother asks how it all started; Angela says we went on a few dates while I was in Vegas. Not technically a lie. I mean, they were mostly dates in my hotel suite but that hardly matters. We had the perfect opportunity to tell them what else happened in Vegas. But Angela brushes right past the topic.
Andi darts her eyes between the two of us and Angela takes a deep breath. I squeeze her hand and she gives me a look. I raise my brow and her subtle nod tells me she wants me to take over.
I turn and smile at her parents. “Mr. and Mrs. York. Grandpa. We need to tell you all something?”
Mrs. York has a wild, excited look on her face. She claps her hands in front of her. “What is it?”
“A few weeks ago, while we were in Vegas, Angela and I got married.” The words come out fast not giving them a chance to voice their disapproval. “We’re in the process of fixing it. We know we were impulsive and both of us are truly sorry for keeping something so big from you guys.”
Her mother's shoulders sag and she frowns at me. “I thought you were going to tell me that you’re pregnant.”
Chapter 13
Angela
I must be the slowest woman on the planet. I’ve been throwing up every morning for the last week. Here I am, once again, bent over the Crawford’s toilet bowl throwing up all the dessert I ate yesterday. It wasn’t until my Mom mentioned she thought I was going to announce that I’m pregnant that I even considered it a possibility.
I mean, I thought I was a few days late, but I started a new pack of pills this morning and I never had my period last week. How the hell am I so dumb? When I was in high school, once I was sexually active, if I was one day late, I would start panicking. Now apparently, I can have all the symptoms thrown at me, and it still doesn’t click.
I had kept my expression neutral though. The last thing I needed was for Justin and I to realize that I may be pregnant while in conversation with my parents. No. I needed to first make sure. I didn’t want him to worry unless there was something to worry about.
How did this happen? We've used condoms and I’m on the pill. I take a deep breath as my stomach starts to settle. I’m not going to panic, at least not until I know for sure there’s something to panic about. I get up off the floor and move back to my desk.
I wonder if Lia suspects anything. After all, I was sick every morning last week. I’m not concerned about Wyatt. He hasn’t been here that often. Oh, God. What if Lia does suspect and she told Wyatt. And he tells Justin. Fuck, I don’t want Justin hearing it from anyone else.
I pick up my cell phone and scroll through my contacts. I can’t phone Bridget; she works nine to five. I can’t ask her to cut out of work to bring me what I need. Andi is my other option. She’s an event planner and sets her own hours. If she’s available, she'll be here in a flash. I dial her number and she picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, sweetie.” She greets everyone who is not a client as if they’re a close friend. “I was just thinking about you.”
I don’t wait for her to tell me why she was thinking about me. “I need a favor and I need you not to freak out.”
Lia walks into the office and places a glass of ginger ale in front of me. The fact that it’s not a cup of black coffee like last week tells me she suspects, as well.
Andi’s silent for a moment. “What’s the matter?”
“Seriously, Andrea, you can’t freak out. I’m freaking out and I need you to be the calm one.”
“Jeez, you’re using my full name.” She chuckles waiting for me to continue but I stay silent. “Okay, I promise. I won’t freak out.”
I can’t say it. Like yesterday when I needed to tell my parents about my marriage, I chicken out. “You don’t have to wander through
the store. In the feminine products aisle there are these flat boxes with fancy plastic sticks in them.”
Andi’s voice is deadpan. “The flat boxes in the feminine products aisle have pregnancy tests in them.”
“Yes, those.” I exhale trying to ignore Lia’s giggling. “I need one. In fact, you know. Bring one of every kind, just to be sure.”
There’s a long silence and then an ear-piercing squeal. I pull the phone away from my ear. Once it seems she’s calmed down a little I bring it back. She’s high pitched though. “I’m going to be an aunt!”
“Calm down. And you cannot tell anyone. I want to tell Justin first. It’s bad enough you and Lia have to know.”
“Fine, I’ll be quiet. Where are you? At work?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you the address. And please. Be discreet.”
“What, you don’t want the woman at the checkout counter to know I’m buying a pregnancy test for my cousin’s wife?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “God, this is a nightmare. Just hurry up.”
As soon as I hang up, I text her the address and wait. I drop my head into my hands.
“For what it’s worth,” Lia says. “I think you already know what that test is going to say.”
“But we’ve been careful.” I mean, of course I ignored the signs. This was not supposed to happen. “What does he have? Super-sperm or something?”
Lia burst out laughing. She keeps entertained and in somewhat high spirits until the doorbell rings. “Finish that ginger ale. You’re going to need to pee soon.”
She heads downstairs and both her and Andi return. Andi has a small brown paper bag in her hand. “Let’s get this over with.”
I take the bag from Andi and take out the box. She only bought one. It’s one that has a pregnant slot and a not pregnant slot. Shit. I’m really going to do this. “How do I do this?”
Lia rolls her eyes. “The instructions are in the box.”
I frown at her. “How do you know?”
“When you’re married to a man you don’t really want to be with, the slightest blip in your cycle sends you running to the drugstore.”
I keep forgetting that Wyatt is not Lia’s first husband. “That must suck.”
“You’re procrastinating.”
“Come on.” Andi pulls me out of my chair. “If you want, I’ll be in there with you.”
I shake my head. “There’s instructions. I think I can manage to pee on a stick.”
I finish my ginger ale and make my way back to the bathroom. The instructions are easy to follow. You’d think finding out about such a life changing event would be a little more… complex. I do what it says, and I put the stick on the sink counter while I wash my hands and check my watch. Three minutes. I decide not to watch it. It’s going to say what it says whether I stare at it, or not.
“You okay in there?” Andi is right outside the door.
“You’d think with the advances in medicine they’d find a way to make this instant.”
I open it and stand next to her. We stand in silence for a while. “How much longer.
I check my watch. “Another minute.”
We wait it out. A noise downstairs gets our attention and Lia goes to check. Wyatt is probably back from his meeting. I’m not worried about him seeing anything. Andi could be here for any reason.
And then the worst thing happens.
“Andi, what are you doing here?”
“Justin!”
I grab the test and clutch it to my chest just as Justin moves into the doorway. He looks from Andi to me. Then he spots the test in my hand. He does another once over. For a moment his expression changes from a scowl to something else. It’s fleeting. I can’t get a bead on it. And then nothing. His face is blank. “Okay, now we know why you’re here,” he says to Andi.” Then to me. “What does it say?”
I look at the test. The strangest mix of emotions run through me. This is supposed to be a good thing. Hurt. That was the look on his face. How the hell do I fix this? And why did my stomach drop when I only saw one line. I show him the test. “It’s negative.”
He doesn’t walk to me. Doesn’t react at all. “Then I suggest you go and see a doctor. There’s definitely something wrong if you’ve been getting sick so often.”
And with that he turns around and walks back downstairs.
I wait for him to process everything. To show some kind of reaction. Anything. But I don’t hear that. Instead I hear him greeting Wyatt and Lia and the front door slamming shut.
My shoulders slump and I lean against the door frame. “I’m not having a baby.”
Andi does the thing I needed from Justin. She takes me in her arms and holds me close. “I know, sweetie. But he’s right about one thing. You need to get to a doctor.”
Justin
How does she keep doing this? And how do I keep seeing that she doesn’t want me included in her life. The one thing you’d think affects me just as much as her, she still ends up calling someone else. But I get it now.
I’m not her person. Whoever the most important person in her life is, it’s not me. Not under any circumstances.
Shaking my empty bottle at the bartender, I turn around and look across the bar. It’s an Irish pub, actually. Outside of the city limits, I was pretty sure no one would find me here. Although, that’s only temporary. I drove out here, and at some point, I’m going to have to call someone to come get me.
The barman places another beer next to me. I take it and watch the people dancing on the small dance floor. I wonder when I became such a cliché. I have an argument with my girl and end up at a pub, drowning my sorrows. Though, I’m not sure if she’s still my girl.
Seeing that test in her hand, and my cousin holding the other, did something to me. I won’t pretend that it didn’t hurt. But it’s more than that. It’s like we haven’t had this argument before. And when she said it was negative, I had to admit that she doesn’t need anything from me.
For a few moments while I saw that test clutched to her chest, I was hopeful. Not for me and her. Because it’s obvious she didn’t think I needed to be included in that experience. But the idea of Angela having my baby? Yeah, I could get on board with that. Of course, if we weren’t together, it could be a challenge. But we could figure that out.
I lift my beer to my mouth, and nothing comes out. I look at the bottle. Jeez, I don’t remember drinking it. How many have I had? The barman took my keys away somewhere around the third beer. Or was it the fourth? Either way, that was a while ago.
“Hey man.” The bartender’s thick accent couldn’t be missed. “Do you need me to call you a taxi?”
Definitely Irish. I wonder if it’s family owned. It seems like the kind of place that would be.
I shake my head. “Nah. I’ll get someone to pick me up.”
I pull out my phone, debating who to text. My first instinct is to call Angela, but that’s not how our relationship… or whatever this is, works. I’m not calling Andi either. Traitorous cousin. I suppose I could call Dylan, my cousin and Andi’s brother. He’d drive out to get me. And the bonus is he won’t ask too many questions.
I bring up his contact and dial. It goes straight to voicemail, no ringing at all. Denver is my next choice, though I’m not really in the mood for all his chatter. No doubt by now he knows what happened. Or didn’t happen. I dial his number anyway. It’s not like I have a choice anyway.
“Hey, asshole.” He doesn’t sound happy to hear from me. “Where the fuck are you?”
“I’m going to hand my phone to the bartender, he can give you the address.” I look at the bartender who nods. “Can you fetch me?”
“Put him on the phone.”
I hand the phone over and ignore the fact that he’s pissed at me. I’m not entirely sure why. I mean, I didn’t knock up his sister, and it’s pretty clear what the parameters of our relationship are. We’re all fun. Good for mind-blowing sex and a few laughs, but we’re not supposed to rely on eac
h other. Except, it was more than that, at least it was for me.
The barman hands me the phone. “He’ll be here in about twenty minutes. I’m to give you water until then.”
I nod and pocket my phone. I turn back to the bar and sip my water. Customers come in and out of the pub. They order at the bar. Some sit on a stool; others move over to the tables.
Eventually, Denver walks through the door. I try not to acknowledge his arrival and turn back to staring at the wall behind the bar. If he’s pissed at me, I can just ignore him. Not listening to whatever lecture he’s about to deliver sounds like a really good idea.
Denver sits on the bar stool next to me. “Just a Coke, please,” he says to the bartender.
“Such a responsible designated driver.” I turn to him. “Thanks for coming to get me, even though you’re pissed at me. Not that I can figure out why.”
He frowns at me and rests his keys on the bar. “What makes you think I’m pissed? I may not be happy and I’m worried. Mostly because no one will tell me anything.”
That was probably wise. Denver had a tendency to react before he had all the facts. But I know what it’s like to be left out of the loop. “I didn’t knock your sister up.”
“Okay, and you’re both wallowing because you’re disappointed?” The frown on his face is not from anger but rather confusion. “I didn't even know you two were trying. I mean you just got married a little over a month ago. You’re not even living together.”
I point a finger at him. “That, my friend, is a topic that’s not up for discussion. Convenience is not a reason to live together.”
“That makes sense.”
“No.” I try to shake off the beer cobwebs and give him my serious look. At least, I hope it’s my serious look. “It’s an excuse. It’s just another way to keep me at a distance. Why didn’t I see it, Denver? I’m fucking in love with her. But she’s not interested in anything, real. Okay, I can forgive her calling you to get her from the airport. She had no idea where we stood. And the other night, when she was out with the girls, thanks for calling me for that by the way, it’s not a big deal. But this affects me directly. I should be included in the experience. But she called my cousin.”
Married With Me: A With Me In Seattle Universe Novel Page 11
