by Layla Nash
And I turned to stare at her, as if the witch had all the answers.
Deirdre stared right back, then clamped her lips together and clapped a hand over her mouth.
My heart sank. She knew something. She had bad news, I saw it in her eyes. But I couldn’t ask.
It wasn’t until she convulsed and a squeaking sound escaped that I realized she was laughing at me. Deirdre fell back against the cushions, wheezed, “Doggie daycare?” and started howling with laughter.
“That’s not funny,” I said.
She kept laughing, though at least she covered her face with a pillow to try and stifle it.
“I’m serious,” I said. But she’d cracked through the shell of panic that had encased me. I heard how crazy I must have sounded, ranting at her about daycare for the baby who was still just a ball of cells. My voice wavered as I added, “It was a serious question.”
Which just set her off again into gales of laughter, huge hollering shouts that dragged a smile to my face even when I desperately wanted to frown. So I just gave up and collapsed on the couch across from her. A giggle worked its way up my throat and then I was laughing just as hard, though it mixed with quite a few tears. We were both incoherent for far too long.
She finally exhaled and pulled the pillow off her face. “Damn. Thank you, I haven’t laughed that hard in years. My abs are killing me.”
I rubbed my jaw. “I didn’t mean it to be funny. It’s a serious concern. What the hell do they do about kids? Do the kids just spontaneously turn into animals? What if they get stuck as animals? Is it a hormonal thing, so it happens when they’re teenagers? I don’t have any knowledge in this area and I’m pretty sure there isn’t a ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting a Werewolf’ book.”
Deirdre chuckled and propped her feet up on the coffee table. “I’m not the best resource on this, hon. I’m a witch. I know what witch kids are like, and you should count yourself lucky you’re not having one. But there are plenty of resources for shifter babies, believe it or not, so don’t let that be a major factor in your decision about what to do.”
What to do. I’d thought about it in a split second after I saw the positive test, but in my heart I couldn’t terminate the pregnancy. It didn’t feel right. And the baby would be part me and part Dodge. I wanted that in my life, selfishly, if I couldn’t have him. “I’m going to keep it. There’s not another choice, for me.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding. “So that’s the first decision taken care of. And – forgive me for asking – why do you think Dodge doesn’t want to be with you? That he dislikes you?”
The genuine curiosity on her face made my heart sink. What had he been telling her? Had Dodge made up some excuse and blamed the distance on me? It didn’t sound like him, but my feelings were so frayed I couldn’t make sense of anything. “He hasn’t visited me. At all. He freaked out at the hospital and he was crazy. I got him shot and he was hurt and had to rescue me again. I put everyone else in danger. He kept saying he knew I didn’t want anything to do with this supernatural stuff, that he wasn’t going to ask me out or ask me to stay or anything like that. And he hasn’t. He hasn’t even called.”
My eyes prickled again at the whole sad story laid out like that. I sounded pathetic, pining over a guy who walked away without too much issue.
Deirdre sat up and rested her hands on her thighs, looking at them more than me as she took a deep breath. “Okay, babe. It’s not really my place to say what I’m about to say, but since Dodge hasn’t done it himself, I’m going to anyway. Just... don’t hold it against him. He’s a good guy, or at least tries to be.”
I nodded, my heart jumping to my throat. I braced myself for something awful or heart-wrenching.
“I’m not sure how much you remember from when you were kidnapped.”
I shivered, shaking my head; I didn’t want to relive that. Didn’t want to think about it or hear about it.
Deirdre nodded and went on. “I won’t go into the details. It’s not about that. Dodge scaled a ten-foot chain link fence in wolf form to get to you inside the tiger cage. He held the tiger at bay, injured and by himself, for over an hour, while waiting for help to arrive. Before he found you, he and Silas killed half a dozen guys in the sanctuary, because they were monitoring the security cameras to make sure the tiger killed you and probably would have finished the job if he hadn’t finished them.”
I watched her, wanting to see the truth in her eyes. She didn’t blink or look away. There was infinite sadness and compassion in her gaze, enough that it made a lump in my throat.
“He wouldn’t leave your room at the hospital,” she said quietly. “It was days before Miles finally dragged Dodge away to shower and eat. He didn’t want to leave you. And when he came back, he literally lost his mind when he thought someone hurt you. Other people tried to get in, to get to you, and the wolf side... is not reasonable when it comes to protecting things it loves. In his mind, only he could help you and keep you safe. That was what mattered.”
I wiped my cheeks. “But he never said...”
“You were afraid and in pain,” she said. “He sensed that, and it pushed things into an uncontrollable area. Miles was there and managed to get a hold of him, but Dodge would have killed everyone in the room if it meant keeping you safe.”
I shivered. “But that’s not... That’s terrible. Does that happen often, that they lose control? How can I be s-safe around him if he’s going to freak out like that all the time?”
And how could I have a baby with a man who turned into a raging werewolf whenever someone was mean to me?
Deirdre hesitated, then went on and chose her words carefully. “There is... an exceptionally strong connection between a shifter and their life partner. You’ve seen how Miles is with me, right? And you’ve met Rafe and Meadow, and Edgar and Isobel. You noticed how they are and how they connect and communicate?”
“Yeah.” It both turned my stomach and made me irrationally jealous.
The corner of her mouth quirked up like she knew exactly what I was thinking. “That’s what he feels every minute of the day for you. Because you’re human, you might not feel the same way. You might not sense it. But for Dodge... There is nothing in the world that could break him except not being able to help when you need him. He may lose control – it’s rare, honestly, from what I’ve seen and heard – but there will never be a time when he would harm you. Or a child. In fact, you might be the only person, other than Miles, who could bring him out of something like that. I’ve had to... distract Miles when he’s in a temper. The right word or touch tames the savage beast, as it were.”
She shrugged, head tilted as she watched me. “I know that doesn’t make it less scary when they can turn into huge monsters and make a lot of noise. But it’s the truth. He found you before anyone else, when we had easily a hundred people out searching. Dodge went right to you. He knew. God knows how, but they’ve got a compass when it comes to finding their mate.”
Mate. My heart tripped over itself as I struggled to understand what she said. If Dodge cared that much for me, if he’d been crazy to protect me, then why hadn’t he called or visited since then?
There was too much to figure out. I needed to look for the closest alligator to the boat. First I needed to make a doctor’s appointment. Then I needed to face to Dodge. “I have to talk to him, to hear what he has to say about the last month. I want – I want to see if he’s willing to date or be together before he knows about the baby, otherwise I’ll always feel like I trapped him and he’s only staying out of obligation. If he even wants to stay with me. Maybe he doesn’t.”
Deirdre snorted, stifling another laugh. “I don’t think that’s going to be the problem. There are things he really, really needs to tell you, but we can figure all that out. Why don’t you come to the house with me for dinner tonight?”
I nodded slowly, though I got up to pace as nervous energy bubbled up. “Yeah. Better to get it over with, right? I’ll just �
�� I’ll call a doctor and make an appointment and then I’ll talk to Dodge.”
She was still smiling as she called her husband, saying something about dinner and making sure that Dodge was presentable and sober, while I searched online for a doctor. I shook my head and tried to focus on one alligator at a time. Whatever Dodge had to tell me probably paled in comparison to the life-changing news I was about to dump in his lap.
Chapter 51
Dodge
Dodge suspected Evershaw was up to something the moment he stepped into the house. The dining room table was set and even had a tablecloth on it, which they never used unless Evershaw had fucked up and needed to grovel to Deirdre. Dodge lingered in the kitchen and eyed the bottle of rum that someone had left on the counter. He was almost out of whiskey, so maybe he could take a trip to the islands instead. He needed it to sleep.
Silas pushed through the kitchen door and growled at him, catching Todd’s attention long enough that the second-in-command took the rum and strode out, apparently off to hide it somewhere. Dodge scowled at his supposed friend. “Asshole.”
The wolf bared his teeth and Dodge got the sense Silas called him an asshole right back.
He missed his friend almost as much as he missed Persephone. He leaned back against the kitchen counter and stared at the wall, contemplating where his life had gone wrong, until Evershaw walked in.
The alpha studied him with narrowed eyes. “You still look like shit. Haven’t you been sleeping at all? And you’ve lost weight. What the fuck, man?”
“He’s had whiskey for his last twenty meals,” Todd said as he reappeared from wherever he’d gone. “No protein. We’re cleaning out the liquor cabinets tonight, boss, and this house is gonna be dry until everyone is back on their feet.”
It was a testament to how fucked up Dodge looked and acted that the alpha didn’t even argue. He just nodded and folded his arms over his chest as he fixed a dark look on Dodge. “Ground rules for tonight, asshole. You are going to behave yourself. You are going to restrain yourself at all times. You’re not going to freak out. If I get a fucking whiff of you starting to lose control, you’re getting an ass full of tranquilizers and chains in the cellar again, you hear me?”
Dodge scowled at him. “Who the fuck are we having over for dinner, the queen of England? I’m not going to lose control, all right? I’m fine. I’ll just eat and...”
The front door opened and closed, and the air changed. His senses, dulled by the alcohol, immediately sharpened. He knew. He knew who their guest was. He sucked in a breath, mouth open to catch any of her scent that he could, and lurched forward a step out of sheer instinct.
Evershaw grabbed his shoulders and marched him back, pinning Dodge against the wall, his forearm making a bar across his throat. The alpha growled low in warning. “Like I said, dude, control yourself. She is still fragile. She’s freaked out about something. She needs you to be calm. Do you hear me? She wants to talk to you, but you have to keep your shit together. Do you understand?”
“I hear you,” Dodge snapped, staring at the door to the living room over Evershaw’s shoulder. Persephone was there, in the living room. She was in the house with him. She was close enough to touch, finally. He wanted to barrel through the wall to reach her, to hold her hand, to smell her hair. The wolf howled, clawing to get closer to their mate. It was the worst kind of torture, to have her so close and still be so far away.
Evershaw slammed him against the wall again, and his golden eyes flashed with warning. “You’re not listening, dude. I know what your wolf is trying to pull. If you lose control again, that’s it. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do with you, but you can’t be around Percy if you’re losing control. She’s human, man. She’s still weak. She’s afraid.”
The noise in his head quieted as the wolf retreated and the alpha’s warning finally reached him. Persephone was afraid? Of him? “Afraid,” he repeated, so low that Evershaw leaned closer to hear.
“Yeah. She’s afraid. The last memory of you she has is that fucking catastrophe in the hospital.” The alpha took a deep breath and eased his hold on Dodge’s shoulders. “I’m not kidding about the tranquilizers, you hear me? You get one paw out of line and that’s game over.”
Dodge nodded, his whole body aching with the need to see her. He practically vibrated with the urge to be closer to her. He thought he heard her voice through the door, asking Deirdre something. She sounded nervous. Why would Persephone be nervous? He shrugged and rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the tension in his neck, and nodded. “I got it. I’m fine. We’re just going to talk.”
Evershaw’s eyes narrowed but he stepped back. Dodge lurched toward the door in three quick steps but a sharp pain shot up his calf and stopped him short. He looked down to find Silas biting his leg, growling in warning, and Evershaw ready with a syringe full of something. Dodge struggled to breathe and held his hands up. “I’m fine. I’m good. I just – got excited. I’ve got it now.”
Neither of them believed him, it was easy to see. Silas released his leg and made a wolfish disgusted face. He followed closely on Dodge’s heels as he finally opened the door to the living room.
Even with the tension of having Deirdre and Evershaw right there, and Silas at his heels, Dodge’s heart soared the moment he saw Persephone. It took every ounce of strength he possessed not to scoop her up in his arms and carry her back to his den, but he clenched his fists behind him and managed not to fall at her feet. “Hi. It’s – good to see you.”
Deirdre’s dark eyebrow arched and Dodge sensed a sharp joke in his future about terrible opening lines.
But he couldn’t care what the witch thought as he stood there and drank in Persephone. She didn’t look healthy, which made his chest ache. She’d lost weight and was pale, with the shadow of a bruise still near her collarbone, and a few pink scars on her arms and the line of her jaw. It infuriated him to the point of madness that the bastards had marked her, but he could only kill them once and they were already dead.
Dodge almost tip-toed into the living room, desperate to hear her voice, and braced for her to be afraid, or uneasy, or to run in the other direction. Instead, Persephone tried a smile, which turned a little wobbly as her chin quivered. And then she burst into tears, covering her face and sobbing.
His heart cracked. He didn’t know what to do. His instincts said to hug her, to comfort her, fix whatever made her sad, but with Evershaw’s warning... Dodge looked at Deirdre and held his hands up in a “what the fuck?” gesture, and the witch rolled her eyes. She gestured for him to go to Persephone, though her eyes looked suspiciously red as well. Dodge didn’t wait for anything else. He inched over to Persephone, hyper-focused on moving slowly and easily so he didn’t startle her, and eased his arms around her.
The moment she was safe in his arms, the world clicked into place. Parts of him that he’d never known were tense started to relax. Tranquility slid through him and promised better rest than a bottle of whiskey ever had. She was safe with him. She was close and he was never leaving her side again. He closed his eyes as he inhaled. His nose twitched. She didn’t smell quite right. But after everything she’d been through, that wasn’t a real surprise. That much pain and trauma and healing could affect a person’s scent, and besides, he’d given her blood. Maybe it was how she smelled as a shifter.
He didn’t dare think about that conversation. They’d have to talk about it sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to keep a secret from her, but for that moment, he just wanted to enjoy her company. Dodge exhaled and held her closer, rubbing slow circles on her back, and rested his cheek against her head. Finally, all was right in the world.
Chapter 52
Percy
I almost turned and fled when Dodge entered the room. My knees knocked together and I didn’t know what to say or how to start. And then, the moment I set eyes on him, the moment the air changed because he was there... A relief so intense I almost passed out rolled through me, and my
legs weakened.
I managed to stay standing but I couldn’t control my tears. They escaped in a rush. My face crumpled and I felt like a total idiot, but I sobbed and didn’t know how to stop. I had no idea how much I’d missed him until he stood in front of me. It was like I’d had an immense hole in my guts that I didn’t know was there, and that only he could fill.
The floor creaked and I knew it was Dodge moving closer. Then the warmth of his arms drew me in and I rested my cheek against the soft, clean-smelling fabric of his shirt. I squeezed my eyes shut and held onto him, desperate to feel whole again. I felt safe – really safe – for the first time since I’d knocked on the Evershaws’ door looking for a job. I leaned into him as Dodge murmured nonsense and nuzzled behind my ear, his arms squeezing me tight until I didn’t even need to stand up on my own. He had me. He supported me.
I had no idea how long we stood there, me crying on his shoulder and Dodge holding me close. Eventually I straightened and tried to wipe my cheeks and my nose so I didn’t dribble all over myself and him. I’d already left some tears on his shoulder, but adding snot to the mix was just plain rude. My cheeks heated as I looked down, embarrassed by being so out of control and falling all over Dodge the moment I saw him.
“Hey now,” he said softly, gently brushing at the moisture on my cheeks. He gazed at me with an intensity that made my stomach flip, like he searched for something. In a moment of panic, I wondered if he smelled the pregnancy just like Rafe had. Dodge held my face and leaned to kiss my forehead. “I missed you.”
I sucked in a breath and tried not to let my hope shine like a beacon. He missed me? He really missed me? I nodded slowly, unable to form words that weren’t just blurting out that I loved him and needed him in my life. I swayed as the ebb and rush of emotions left me light-headed. Dodge immediately put his arm around my waist and eased me to the couch where I’d sat during the interview with Deirdre and her husband. Where I’d first met Dodge and watched him and thought that little dimple in his cheek was far too sexy for a man.
