“You still need to bring him home sometime. I want to meet my nephew.”
“I know I will—”
“Only maybe after we get all of this figured out.”
Sounds good to me. I don’t want my kid anywhere near where social services is sniffing.
The sound of voices approaching lets me know the guys must have finished up with practice. “I gotta go, but I’ll be home in half an hour. An hour max. Okay?”
“Okay. See you soon.”
I hang up and shove my phone back into my bag before peeling off my pads. I need a quick shower before the rest of the team uses all the hot water, and then I need to haul ass home. I consider calling Bibiana to let her know what happened, but I never told her about Raul in the first place. Better to leave well enough alone. I’ll just tell her I can’t come by this week because of practice. She’ll understand. She knows we have the state championship this weekend, so it won’t be a big deal.
Right?
twenty-three
When Jae said he’d grab some of my things from my mom’s, I didn’t realize he’d meant all of my things. My room wasn’t very large to begin with back home, so I didn’t have a ton of stuff, but all of my clothes are hanging in the guest room closet and six large boxes lay against one wall filled with Luis’s clothes and toys. He even packed my books and knickknacks.
There is a playpen set up beside the bed, and it looks like my makeup and toothbrush are sitting on the nightstand. I can’t believe he thought to grab them from my bathroom.
“Did you leave anything behind?” I ask jokingly, though also somewhat serious, because this makes the move feel permanent and that can’t be what he has in mind. Right? I mean, no. Of course, this is temporary. A few weeks. Maybe a couple of months at most.
He rubs the back of his neck, his expression sheepish. “I mean, I didn’t bring the bed. Or the crib. But we can go back for it if you’d like.”
“No. This is fine. Great actually.” The play pen is new. I definitely didn’t have that before, though Luis is fine to sleep beside me if need be. Half the time he winds up in my bed anyway.
I set Luis down and place a hand on Jae’s forearm. “You didn’t need to go through all this trouble. I’ll figure something out soon. I promise.” Maybe I’ll get lucky and can wait out Miguel’s trial, though from the sounds of it, that could take months, and I don’t have months.
“Don’t.” He sighs. “I mean, you don’t need to, and it wasn’t any trouble. Living by yourself is overrated. I have this whole place to myself. It could use some life in it, don’t you think?”
“Are you sure? Because if you’re not—”
“I want you here. You and Luis.” His eyes implore me to stay, and without an alternative, I relent.
“Okay. Thank you. I promise we won’t get in your way.”
He chuckles. “I want you two in my way. That’s the entire point of moving you in here so get comfortable. Leave Luis’s toys all over the house and help yourself to whatever you need.”
I can’t help my smile. “You know you’re a pretty great guy, right?”
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You’re going to make some girl insanely happy one day.”
His smile dips and he licks his lips, a nervous gesture. “That isn’t you though, is it?”
I open my mouth. Close it. Swallow and take a deep breath. “I think Emilio and I are…” I trail off. I’m not sure what we are, but it’s something, and I don’t want Jae getting the wrong idea. Because even if Emilio weren’t in the picture, I just don’t feel those sparks with him. It isn’t in the cards for Jae and I.
He forces a laugh. “No worries. I get it.” He swoops Luis into his arms and rubs his nose against his, giving him an Eskimo kiss. “I hope he knows how lucky he is. And I hope you know if he screws up, I’m available.” He winks.
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of my chest. “Stop. You are not going to be anyone’s second choice.”
He steps closer and places a chaste kiss along my temple. “I’d be your second choice in a heartbeat if you’d have me.”
My breath hitches.
“But I won’t push. I value our friendship too much and I want you comfortable while you’re here. Why don’t you unpack while Luis and I grab a snack?”
“I really do appreciate—”
He shakes his head. “Enough with all that. You and me, we’re good. I don’t mind being friend-zoned as long as that friendship weathers any storms that might come up. Okay? I know you and Luis’s dad are together.”
I scowl.
“Or maybe not together?” he corrects.
“I have no clue, to be honest.”
“Yeah, guys are stupid at his age.” He shrugs. “But you’re something, or you’re working out what you are to each other at least, and I respect that. Just don’t let him shove me out of your life, okay? I remember being eighteen and an idiot too.”
“You’re not that much older,” I remind him.
He smirks. “Old enough to grow out of my idiot phase.”
I roll my eyes.
“He’s going to be jealous. Possessive too. Can’t say I blame him but“—he hesitates, and I can see that this is really important to him—“hang on to the people you want in your life.”
“I will. Promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
I spend the next hour unpacking and making sure I have everything I need. I try calling Mom, but she doesn’t answer so I shoot her a text hoping she’ll see it eventually and respond.
Me: Staying with Jae for a bit. Call me if anything changes with Miguel.
I’m not used to radio silence from her. We’ve always been close. Especially after Dad died. She talked to me. Told me things most mothers probably wouldn’t tell their daughters, but it was okay. I liked the shift in our relationship. I liked knowing she needed me but now—I need her.
I try to push back the emotion bubbling up inside of me. An empty crater opens in my chest and I rub at the ache, hating the hollow feeling inside of me.
“You’re not some little kid anymore,” I remind myself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Everyone has to leave the nest at some time. Now just happens to be mine.
I set my phone on the bedside table before picking it back up. I debate calling Emilio next.
Every day this week he’s come over to the house after football practice. But he’s clearly upset with me today. It’s stupid and beyond immature. I get the feeling he won’t stop by today but if he does, I should be the one to tell him. It’ll only make him angrier if he shows up at my house and my mom is the one to tell him I moved in with Jae. I don’t know how he’ll take it. But I imagine it’ll be worse than if I tell him myself.
Indecision swirls through me. I don’t want to tell him. I want to just pretend like this isn’t a thing. Because it shouldn’t be. Where I live should play no part in our relationship, whatever it may be. And that kiss. I press my fingers to my lips, remembering his touch. His taste. He’s always sweet with a hint of spice, much like the palerindas—a tamarind-flavored sucker—I see him eating sometimes.
But I know this is going to be a thing between us. It’ll cause a rift and Mom being the one to tell him will only make it so much worse. She knows Emilio is Luis’s father. We had that fun, awkward conversation and it went about as well as can be expected.
She thinks he’s too young. That I should be careful. That I shouldn’t give even an inch when it comes to Luis because he’ll take a mile. It’s like she expects him to try and take Luis from me or something.
It doesn’t help that she’s always been a fan of the idea of Jae and I getting together. Luis being around puts a damper on her plans and knowing Emilio was there when Miguel was arrested, doesn’t give him any points in her book. I don’t need this to boil over into a bigger deal than it needs to be. I love my mom but, she’s not thinking clear right now.
Resig
ned with the knowledge that I do actually have to tell him, I pull up Emilio’s number and hit dial, listening as it rings. Once. Twice. Five times. I hit his voicemail. Relief sweeps through me as his voice says, “This is Emilio. You know what to do.” The line beeps and I hang up. Voicemail isn’t the best way to tell him I’ve moved out, right? I’ll try again later. Probably. But at least I can say I did try.
I check the time. Practice should be out already but be could be running late, or maybe he decided to take a shower or something. Should I send him a text? Maybe just to ask him to call me when he has a moment. Before I can decide, my phone vibrates in my hand and I jump.
Emilio’s name flashes across the screen and my fingers fumble to open the incoming message, nerves already slamming into me.
Emilio: Had some family shit come up. I’ll be busy the next few days.
Oh. My shoulders slump. He’ll be busy? What is that supposed to mean? Like, is he too busy for Luis and me? I chew on my bottom lip. Is he really that mad at me that he’d make up some story about family drama?
I shake my head. No. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, I wanted to put off telling him I moved out anyway. This at least buys me some time. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare down at my phone.
This is good. Helpful, even.
I exhale a harsh breath. So why does it feel like my stomach is trying to escape through my feet right now?
If he wants to avoid me, there isn’t anything I can do about it. It just royally sucks to know that he does.
Me: Okay. See you at school.
I hit the send button, refusing to let on how much this bothers me. Doubt creeps in and I wonder if this is going to be a recurring thing? Get mad at Bibi and suddenly become unavailable?
Three little dots appear on the screen and I wait for him to respond, but after a few seconds, the dots that signal he’s typing fade and no new messages arrive. I sigh. Whatever. Boys are dumb anyway.
Twenty-four
It’s been three days since I found out Raul died, and life has been an absolute shitstorm. I didn’t even make it to practice the last two days, and I barely see Luis. I mean, I see him at school since Bibiana brings him but getting my kid for all of thirty minutes during lunch and then sharing him during fourth period isn’t enough. This isn’t going to work for me.
I remind myself that it’s temporary. As soon as we figure shit out and make sure Sofia doesn’t go into the system, I can spend more time with Luis. With my girl. Bibiana has been acting strange. Reserved even. It’s like she’s folding herself back into a shell and I’m not sure what to think about it. I want to let her know what’s going on, but what if she freaks out? I won’t risk her keeping Luis from me. I’d like to think we’re past that. That she’d never keep him from me, but I can’t shake the feeling that she might. I mean, what mother wouldn’t be worried with social services sniffing around, right?
“Thank you, boys. I believe that’s everything I need for now.” The social worker—a Miss Patricia Morgen—says, getting to her feet. She holds a legal pad in one hand, the first few pages littered in notes. About what, who the fuck knows. She’s been here twice now in three days, and I won’t be surprised if I see her again.
It’s clear she has decided she doesn’t like our situation. She keeps making statements about how important it is to for a young girl to grow up with a mother. And yeah, I’m sure it is. But we don’t have one around, and it’s more important for Sofia to stay with her family than to be carted off to live with a bunch of strangers. Mother or not, she needs us too.
The possibility of that happening is getting to my baby sister and it shows. Not in a good way either. She’s pale and acting skittish. She inches back every time this Morgen lady asks her a question, as if she is trying to sink into the furniture, and she flicks her eyes toward me and Antonio before she answers. It makes her look guilty as hell. If I were Patricia Morgen, I would be concerned too. But she doesn’t know us. Dropping in on people and putting the fear of God in them in your first meeting isn’t a great way to make someone comfortable.
Antonio jumps to his feet to walk her out and I stay on the couch, pulling Sofia into a hug. God knows she needs it. Her tiny body shudders against mine and I tuck her head beneath my chin. “She’s going to take me away, isn’t she?” she whispers, tears lodged in her throat.
“Nope. This is all just protocol, baby sis. No one is taking you anywhere.” My voice is firm, but inside I’m reeling. They could take her from us and there isn’t a damn thing we could do about it.
A few hours pass and the mood in the house is decidedly grim. Sofia’s retreated to her room to read her Meet Josefina book—they really need to come up with a Honduran girl for that shit—and Antonio are I are sitting in the garage. He’s drinking a Modelo while we both stare out across the street, lost in our separate trains of thought.
A car I don’t recognize rolls up and I lean forward in my seat. The passenger door opens, and a man steps out. Dressed in combat greens, my brother turns to face us, a military duffle slung over one shoulder. The driver takes off as Roberto stands there, waiting to see his reception.
Antonio is the first to stand up. He meets our brother halfway across the drive and the two embrace. Roberto has filled out since I last saw him. He’s both taller and broader, damn near engulfing Antonio in his arms.
They separate and walk together to the garage, Roberto stopping a few paces in front of me, a quirk in his brow. “Long time, hermanito.” Little brother.
I nod and push to my feet. “Four years,” I remind him. Four years with damn near zero contact, I might add. But I don’t bother saying that out loud. He already knows how long he’s been away.
Roberto ducks his head and releases a harsh breath. “I’m back now.”
Obviously. He’s standing in front of me. But the question is, for how long?
He flicks his gaze to the side, his jaw stiff before returning his hard hazel stare back to mine.
“Cut him some slack,” Antonio asks.
Before I can respond Roberto adds, “I’m out now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
He’s standing stiff, shoulders squared, and feet almost perfectly spaced. “It means I was eligible to re-enlist when Antonio called. He told me about your kid.” A smile splits his face, one of the few genuine smiles I’ve ever seen on my brother’s face. “I decided not to. Even before I knew about Raul.” He hesitates, his voice dropping low. “I know I left you. Left like mom. I don’t blame you for being pissed off with me. I should have called. Or written.” He huffs out a breath. “Look. I’m sorry. But—I’m here now. I want to be here. For Sofia. For you. I want to put our family back together the way it should be.”
I work my jaw and give him a stiff nod. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he questions, as if he doesn’t believe me. I hold my hand out and he clasps it.
“Yeah, man. Okay.” I gave up my grudge years ago. He did what he needed to, and I can’t say I wouldn’t have made the same decision in his place. Okay. Lie. I know I wouldn’t have, but still. This, I can let go. For family. For blood.
twenty-five
“We’re going to a party this weekend,” Kasey says as soon as I sit down for lunch.
“Uh, you do know I have a kid, right?”
She nods, blond hair bobbing around her face. “Yup. I already took care of it.” I look at Allie and she shrugs.
“And how exactly did you take care of my child?” I ask just as Emilio and the rest of the boys join us.
“What’s this about our child?” Emilio asks, plucking Luis from my arms. He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and then turns his attention to our son, making faces and blowing raspberries on his neck.
“I got you a sitter,” Kasey adds, and I frown. I’m not going to leave Luis with just anyone. “Relax, it’s Monique.”
Oh. My shoulders relax. “I didn’t know you two talked.”
Dominique gr
unts and a wicked smile spreads across Kasey’s face. “All the time,” she says with a pointed look toward Dominique. “I’m learning so much. That girl is a wealth of information.”
I snort, but quickly smother my laugh. I can only imagine what these two are getting up to. “Okay. I’ll bite, since I trust Monique, why are we going to a party this weekend?”
At the mention of party, four scowls greet me. Emilio, Aaron, Dominique, and Roman.
Kasey ignores all of them. “The guys have the state championship game this weekend.”
“Exactly,” Roman says. “So why the fuck would any of us go to a party?”
“You’re not invited,” she tells him with a flick of her hair.
“If the guys have a game, why wouldn’t we go to that?”
Emilio shifts beside me. “You wanna see me play?”
I shrug. “Why not?”
His back straightens and the corners of his mouth curl into a smile. “You guys should come to the game.”
Kasey just shakes her head. “We don’t do school games, remember?” She gives a pointed look in Allie’s direction and everyone at the table is suddenly nodding.
“What am I missing?”
Kasey hesitates, so it’s Allie who answers. “When I was… uh… assaulted,” she swallows hard, “it was at a football game. They’re still kinda a sore spot for me.”
Oh. “I’m so—“
She shakes her head. “Don’t be. But I’m with Kasey. Let’s get out. Go to a party. I haven’t been to one since we all got together at Shadle Creek. I could use a fun night with everything going on right now.”
Roman places his arm around her and she leans into him. I’ve been such a crappy friend. I’ve barely checked in to see how she’s holding up with all of the Miguel stuff going on right now. That last I heard from Jae, since he’s been keeping tabs on everything for me, is that Miguel was offered a plea deal to give up the other man who assaulted Allie with him.
It’s looking like the recent charges are going to stick, and Jae said Miguel is considering it. They offered him a lesser sentence. Ten to fifteen years with a shot at parole for good behavior, so he could be out in as little as seven if he turns on his buddy. We’ll see what happens.
Savage Devil: A Secret Baby, High School Bully Romance (Devils of Sun Valley High Book 2) Page 16
