by SM Olivier
I stood up on my tiptoes and looked around.
Grandpa looked confused for a moment before a wide smile spread across his face. “They’re over there.”
I followed his pointer finger line and noticed Crew, Zane, and Kyler deep in conversation with a man. The man had a pair of khakis on and a purple and gold polo.
“Who’s that?” I asked in confusion.
“My guess is a college football recruiter,” Lochlann said with a smile.
“That’s the University of Albany’s colors,” Grandpa confirmed.
“Do you think he’s interested in them both?” I inquired.
I knew their dream was to go to college together. However, I knew the likelihood of that happening was slim to none. Part of me was filled with excitement for them, yet a part of me realized reality was setting in. My future was still hazy. Ultimately, my goal was to end up in New York City. It wasn’t far from Albany. We could try to make it work.
“Not sure,” Lochlann said with a furrow between his brows. He knew their desire to remain together as well.
“They’d be fools not to take them both,” Mr. Jenkins grumbled as he joined us. “Their chemistry and teamwork are already established. Those recruiters would be smart to capitalize on that.”
I smiled at his blunt assessment. I tried to push back all my doubts and fears, attempting to remind myself that I shouldn’t worry about those things until we were faced with them.
“Peyton!” I heard my name squealed out.
I turned, seeing Vivian and Madison approaching me. Des and Sal immediately cut off their path. Vivian looked shocked that they would prevent her from coming near me, but I was thankful that they were taking their job seriously.
“It’s okay, guys,” I gently informed them.
I hesitantly stepped into Vivian’s outstretched arms and tried not to stiffen up as her cloying scent enveloped me. Vivian always had a fondness for perfumes with intense floral aromas. Her fashion sense and poise were things to be admired. However, her choice of fragrance was not. I had never been a fan.
“How are you?” she immediately inquired as she stepped back and cradled my face.
Madison was her mini. They were both petite barbie dolls. All of Vivian’s childhood pictures eerily resembled Madison’s. She was still a beautiful woman, and I imagined Madison would look exactly like her in a little-over twenty years.
“I’m fine,” I automatically responded.
She gave me a look, and I smiled sheepishly and shrugged. I was having a great night. I didn’t want to ruin it with her concerns. I understood her desire to ensure I was okay. However, I needed to stop being reminded of what I had gone through.
“I’m getting there,” I amended concisely.
She scrutinized me before nodding, apparently satisfied with my brush-off. “You looked lovely out there, sweetie. I never knew you were interested in cheer.”
“I wasn’t,” I admitted ruefully. “I needed an elective, and the school had dance here. Only it wasn’t dancing, it was cheer. So I decided to stick with it.”
“Maybe Madison influenced your decision slightly?” She grinned.
I stifled a sigh. Vivian’s life revolved around Madison—not that there was anything wrong with that. Only, she took it to the next level. She believed her daughter could do no wrong and thought everyone was enamored with her daughter’s charisma. That was the case in most people Madison drew in, but Vivian should have realized by now that I had never been a person easily influenced by anyone.
I mean, sure, we had been best friends, but dancing had always been my first love. When Madison switched to cheer, I hadn’t followed because I knew my passion lay in the studio. When we began high school, Madison chose electives more befitting to her skill set. I had chosen different ones. I believed Vivian thought I had done that to avoid any “competition” with her daughter, but I never saw Madison as my competition. She was my friend. I had nothing to prove.
I chuckled uneasily. “Not really.” I shrugged. “My original elective wasn’t available, so I had to stick to what I knew.”
She nodded, but I saw the doubt in her eyes. “Now, tell me about this silly little fight you’re in with Madison. You really can’t throw away fifteen years of friendship over a silly little boy!”
I rarely saw this condescending side of Vivian. I knew it existed, but it was never directed towards me. I tried not to take offense. I knew she was only trying to make Madison happy, but she needed to remove her blinders and realize that Madison’s decisions weren’t praised nor honor-worthy.
I cleared my throat. “With all due respect, Vivian, this is between Madison and me. There’s a lot more than just a ‘silly little boy’ involved. Right now is not the time or place to have this discussion. Please,” I added as an afterthought.
“Hi,” David appeared from nowhere. “I’m David Delaney, Peyton’s father. You must be Madison’s mother.”
I blinked in surprise, thankful for his timely intervention. But my relief was momentary as I watched Vivian eye-fuck David. I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. I didn’t think Vivian had ever stepped out of her marriage. However, Vivian and her husband were awful flirts. They flirted with the opposite sex constantly.
I asked Madison about it once, and she laughed. She told me it kept her parent’s marriage fresh. They had a theory that they could peruse the menu to their heart's content, but they couldn’t order off of it. She said both of her parents were jealous by nature, and they needed the reminders that they were still desirable in other people’s eyes.
I thought it was an unhealthy approach to keeping the flame alive in a relationship. Still, I tried not to judge Madison’s parents, especially since I hadn’t ever been in a serious relationship. They had been together for over twenty years, so it must work for them.
“I am,” Vivian cooed. “Peyton, you never told me your daddy was a handsome man.”
“Because she just found out about me.” David gave her a look full of exasperation that he quickly concealed. “I made a lot of mistakes, where Peyton was concerned, but I’m hoping to make it up to her.”
“Woo hoo!” Kyler came bounding over to us, seemingly oblivious to the awkwardness in the air. “Both of them. They want both of them!” He scooped me up, spinning me around before turning to embrace Lochlann and picking him up.
I was slightly confused until I saw Zane and Crew walking towards us with their arms thrown over each other's shoulders. They were both grinning from ear to ear, and Zane was excitedly talking.
“Albany?” Grandpa chuckled.
They nodded, and Zane stopped short. “They want us to come to tour the campus.”
“That’s the school Madison got accepted to!” Vivian exclaimed excitedly. “It’s great you’re going to have friends going with you.”
I nearly groaned aloud. How could I have forgotten? I didn’t trust Madison not to chase after one of them once I was out of the picture again.
19
●
Explorations
“Ready for bed?” Kyler inquired as he gently stroked my upper arms.
I nodded and took a sip of water. “Please.” I smiled.
Marie, Heather, Freddy, and a few other football players and cheerleaders had come back to the house with us. Everyone that accompanied us understood that it wasn’t going to be a crazy let’s get drunk night. They accepted the fact that Zane and I had an early morning and a monumental competition tomorrow.
It had been a fun night. As promised, Lochlann had picked up pizzas, subs, wings, and pops for us. Kyler and Crew built a fire in the large bonfire pit for us to hang around. One of the football players brought his guitar, and he and Golden kept us entertained most of the night with their playing and singing. It was the perfect way to end the night, even if thoughts of Madison possibly attending the same school as Zane and Crew threatened to put a damper on it.
“Goodnight, all.” I somewhat reluctantly got up from my position off the
blanket and between Paxton’s opened legs.
“Going to bed already?” Heather pouted.
I laughed as I looked down at my phone. “I wish I didn’t have to, but it’s past midnight, and five-ish is gonna come way too soon.”
Zane and Lochlann had already gone to bed nearly half an hour ago. I tried to hang out for a while longer, but I had felt my energy flagging, and Kyler had noticed. Golden and Paxton didn’t seem to want to end the night yet, and I insisted earlier that they stay up and continue hanging out. This was the first time any of the guys had hung out with anyone outside of the house since my return. I didn’t want them to think they had to revolve their lives around me and my schedule. I appreciated it, and it made me extremely happy, but I understood the importance of them having their own lives.
Paxton hopped up, too, giving me a hug and a kiss to my jawline. Golden embraced me next and kissed my forehead. I tried not to look at my classmates.
I knew they wondered how our arrangement worked. It was no secret how affectionate the guys were before I was taken, and it had only increased since my return. I knew rumors flew around the school about my reputation, but I'd stopped caring. Being kidnapped had taught me life was too short to care what others thought. I wouldn’t say that I still didn’t get self-conscious about it anymore, or that it didn’t bother me when people judged us without really knowing us. However, at the end of the day, we were happy and that was all that mattered.
“You need to let us know when you have a competition closer,” Marie insisted. “I would love to see you in person.”
I opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, but then I remembered that many of the news outlets had shown clips of me dancing in my absence. Some of them had even managed to find footage of me dancing when I first started competing when I was around six. It was slightly disconcerting how intrusive the media had been. There were many competitions I had no recollection or recordings of. It was slightly disturbing how many people were privy to my past.
I had already been a victim once in the hands of my captors. The media exploitation of my past may have garnered interest for my return. However, it gave many strangers an assumption that they knew me and were entitled to intrude into my life. I now had a jaded view of the media. Yes, I was glad they had brought awareness to my and Claire's abduction. Yet, I didn’t particularly appreciate how they assumed that they could continue to harass us and demand a story.
It just proved they had no sympathy, or empathy, towards anyone they had to exploit to gain a story. The media wanted to sensationalize everything, not caring that they were “harming” us. We− well, me for certain− wanted to put my experience behind me. I didn’t want or need their continual intrusion in my life. They were relentless, and no matter how many times my Grandpa’s lawyers threatened and or implored them to allow us to have our privacy, they found loopholes to ignore our wishes.
“I think the next one around here is in, like, three weeks.” I tried to smile at her interest. “I’ll let you know for sure. It’s about forty-five minutes west of here.”
“Great, let us know,” Heather enthused.
I smiled, nodded, and gave everyone an encompassing wave. “Night y’all.”
Kyler slipped his arm around my shoulders and led me inside, and it wasn’t until then that I realized Crew had followed us in.
“Goodnight, angel.” He bent down and brushed his lips against my cheek.
He embraced me, and I noticed his… stillness. Zane had been riding a high since they got invited to tour the school in New York. He had been more outgoing and chatty than I had ever seen him. Crew, on the other hand, seemed to lose some of his excitement after Vivian’s announcement.
I thought I had covered up my dismay in time. Despite Madison’s acceptance there, I trusted Crew and Zane. I knew they were fiercely loyal, and even if we ever parted ways− not that I anticipated that happening, nor desired for it to—I was being realistic. We were eighteen. Life hadn’t dealt out all our cards yet.
In the event that we broke up, I was confident that they would never entertain dating or talking to her out of respect for me. Our relationships were tested continuously in the fire, and we were still coming out strong and together.
My only fear was the lengths Madison would go to insinuate herself in their lives, especially now that Vivian was aware of the situation. I was positive Vivian would be pushing a friendship between the guys and Madison. She automatically assumed Madison was entitled to everything I had.
I was sure Vivian viewed Madison’s move as a great sacrifice for me. She'd pretty much said as much. Vivian continued singing her daughter's praises, attempting to “guilt” me into forgiving her daughter. So, I was sure she would try to use the guys and elevate their acceptance into Albany to ingratiate Madison back into my life.
Vivian was even more relentless than Madison. She probably even knew—or knew of—someone acquainted with the board of admissions, the dean, or someone as equally important. Madison’s parents' reach was far. I had no doubt Vivian even had a hand in Madison's acceptance at the college.
I had witnessed her influence several times growing up, had sat at their dinner table as names were dropped. When I was younger, I didn’t quite understand it, but the older I got, the more I realized how important it could be to have a strong network of friends and acquaintances. You never knew how they could help you in the future.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I murmured to Crew before lifting on my tiptoes and placing a kiss on his jawline.
Zane and I had to be up so early because we were riding the bus again, which Anya had accounted for any mishaps, stragglers, and even the speed the bus could comfortably go.
Crew nodded and pulled me in closer. His behavior struck me as slightly odd, but I knew that he’d been on an emotional rollercoaster all week. The return of Butch, Jana’s disappearing act, and Dove overdosing this week seemed to have shaken his typical unflappable countenance. I worried about him, but I knew he would talk to me when he was ready.
When Crew headed back outside to join our friends, I frowned. “I’m concerned about him,” I admitted to Kyler as we headed towards my room.
Kyler sighed and threaded his fingers through mine. “Me, too. I’ve tried to talk to him, but… you know how he is.”
“I do,” I said wryly as we headed down the stairs. “I know talking isn’t Crew’s forte, and he processes things… differently, but sometimes I lack the patience to wait, though.”
“I think you’ve handled him better than most of us,” Kyler said before pushing my bedroom door open.
“I just feel like I could do more,” I admitted. “I feel like Crew holds back sometimes because he thinks I’m fragile or not emotionally prepared for what he has to say. I wish he would lean on me as I lean on him.” I sighed heavily before making my way into the bathroom. “I’m gonna hop in the shower. I smell like wood smoke, and I don’t want to get up any earlier than I have to.”
I loved the smell of burning wood; there was nothing more comforting when the air grew colder. It just wasn’t an odor I liked to smell clinging to my hair as I attempted to sleep.
I leaned into the shower and adjusted the temperature to get it as hot as I liked it.
“I know Crew holds a lot in. He always has,” Kyler explained as he leaned against my vanity. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, crossing his left foot over his right foot. “Butch was an abusive piece of shit when he hit the bottle. Crew learned early on to be as silent as possible, so mostly he wasn’t on his radar. It took me a lot longer to learn to keep my mouth shut and make myself as scarce as possible, though.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh. “I was hard-headed, stubborn, and mouthy. I became that way to protect Crew from Butch’s attention, but eventually, I almost got a high defying him and pushing back every chance I got.
“It wasn’t until Da and Mam opened their homes to us that I recognized that, sometimes, I made our situation worse. It was at their dinner
table I realized my brother could laugh and had a voice. I figured I could give that to him, too. A military recruiter came in and filled my head with ideas as well. I was determined to make enough money to get him out of that situation for good. I wish I would have thought it completely through. I knew Crew could make himself scarce around Butch, I just never expected Butch to run and leave him with nothing, though.”
I could see how it still bothered Kyler. His typical, affable visage was nowhere in sight. After his initial blowup, he seemed unaffected by Butch’s reappearance. I assumed he had come to terms with his father’s presence, realizing Butch wasn’t worth his time or effort.
I realized now that he was just as troubled as Crew, but in a different manner. Butch’s presence reminded Kyler of his faulty preconceived notions that he had failed his younger brother. It opened the What-if door. The What-if door almost always led you to a dead end. It was an entrance better left slammed shut.
“I don’t think that’s your burden to bear,” I reassured him before removing my clothes. “You had the right intentions. How were you to know that everything would go down as it did? If you would have stayed, what would have changed? Nothing. Butch would have still left. Then you would have both been stuck in a challenging situation. I already know how close-minded this town can be. I’ve seen them judge you and Crew over Butch’s sins. If you had stayed here, your future wouldn’t have been as promising.
“What job did this town offer with the same pay and benefits? And, yeah, I didn’t know you back then, but I assume you were a lot less… put together. You needed to experience life out of this town. The military forced you to grow up and instilled principles in you that I don’t think you would have ever gotten here, Kyler. You didn’t fail Crew in any way; you protected him the best you could. Mam and Da stepped up and stepped in when it was needed. They gladly provided him the love and support he needed while you became the man he needed more.”
