by SM Olivier
“I’ll drop these off and come with you Des. But, man, I could definitely eat.” Sal rubbed his stomach.
I laughed as I grabbed the last bag I could comfortably carry. “Shit,” I muttered, my laughter fading from my lips as I finally noticed the little red BMW.
“What’s wrong?” Lochlann frowned.
“I forgot that Madison was coming over today,” I growled in frustration.
Lochlann sighed. “We can tell her it's not a good time.”
“No,” I shook my head, “Golden needs to get a good grade on this project, and the teacher won’t let them switch partners. It’s due soon, and the sooner it’s finished, the better.” I let out a breath. “I have a feeling I can’t always avoid Madison, especially if Zane and Crew end up at her college. I have the rest of the year and possibly the next four years of her in my life. I’m just going to have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with it.”
“We’re here for you.” Lochlann leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
I took another deep, calming breath, threw my shoulders back, and headed inside. I had a fantastic weekend. I was going to cling to those feelings to help me make it through the night.
24
●
Cut so Deep
“I missed you.” Golden kissed my shoulder.
I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. He’d been really affectionate since I came home with Lochlann. I didn’t know if he was being super handsy and loving because we’d barely seen each other the last few days, or he wanted to prove to Madison that he was genuinely, deeply invested in us. Either way, I wasn’t complaining.
We were currently sitting at the dining room table while they worked on their project. Zane and Paxton seemed to have been working as chaperones in my absence. Madison wasn’t supposed to be here for another hour or so but had conveniently shown up early. Paxton gleefully explained that he had been sitting at the counter editing photos to keep an eye on Madison.
“I missed you too,” I informed him, kissing the tip of his nose.
“Madison, would you like a cheeseburger?” Lochlann asked as he prepped the patties.
“Umm…” She looked at me as if she wasn’t quite sure what my reaction would be.
“It is around dinner time.” I said with a shrug.
It wasn’t like I hated the girl. I just felt deeply betrayed and hurt by her actions while I was absent. I didn’t know if she was capable of genuine remorse, but as I said, if she would go to the same college Zane and Crew could possibly go to then, I had to accept her presence in our lives. She would be a cheerleader there, and the cheerleaders and football players were thrown continuously together.
“Um, sure,” Madison piped up. “My mom pays for these pre-prepped meals that I just pop in the microwave. Unfortunately, she thinks I gained weight, so she has me on a no-carb diet. I already worked out today. I can afford to eat a burger.” She pulled a face, and for a microsecond, I wanted to commiserate with her. Her mother had an obsession with her daughter maintaining a particular image. When Madison hit puberty, her hormones made her gain a little weight. By society's standards, however, she was healthy and appeared perfectly normal.
Madison hadn’t inherited her mother's natural petiteness and stature, which was unacceptable to Vivian, and she “feared” that Madison had taken after her father's side of the family, who weren’t huge, but they weren’t small either.
Vivian had put her on a stringent diet for months until she believed Madison was at the proper weight once more. Every time Vivian perceived that Madison was gaining weight, she was put on a diet. Madison used to lament about it when we were younger, but once we hit high school, she pretended as if it was perfectly normal to have her mother dictating what she ate. She insisted that as a flyer, she needed to remain tiny.
In my opinion, Madison looked better with the extra ten to fifteen pounds. I had envied her curves once upon a time. Now her clavicles were prominent at this current weight, her cheekbones too sharp, and you could physically see her spine and ribs. I thought it was highly unhealthy, but our relationship wasn’t the same. I couldn’t tell her that she wasn’t overweight by anyone's standards, that she looked fine the way she was.
“Does she always watch what you eat?” Lochlann frowned.
I knew it was the counselor in him that was concerned, and I didn’t begrudge him for it. Just because I couldn’t reassure Madison didn’t mean Lochlann couldn’t. It was his job to guide “today’s youth.” Honestly, it was a concern, and an adult needed to address it.
“She understands how important becoming a Dallas Cheerleader is to me.” Madison nonchalantly shrugged. “She’s only looking out for my best interest. She understands how I can be scatterbrained at times. She just nudges me back on track.”
I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. “I’m making a latte. Want anything?” I asked Golden and Madison.
She was a guest, so I couldn’t be completely rude.
I also knew my vacillating emotions were causing me whiplash.
“Do you have sugar-free syrup?” Madison immediately asked.
“I think there are some sugar-free hazelnut and vanilla up in the pantry,” Zane piped up. “Can I have mocha?”
“Of course.” I smiled. “Loch? Golden?”
“I’ll take what you’re having, thanks.” Golden kissed my temple.
“Can I have sugar-free vanilla? Do you have skim milk?” Madison inquired.
“We do,” Lochlann confirmed as he looked in the refrigerator.
Madison nodded. “Awesome. I’ll take that, please.”
I could be annoyed by how specific she had gotten, but I chose not to. In the past, I would have laughed, shook my head, and teased her for it. We just weren’t there anymore. I would make her latte as requested because she was a guest.
“And you?” I asked Lochlann as I traced my hand over his back after ensuring Madison and Golden were still working on their storyboard.
Madison knew I was in a relationship with them all. Also, she wasn’t dense. She saw us return with a lot of shopping bags and our overnight bags. I’m sure she realized that we had spent somewhere overnight together. However, we still wanted to keep our relationship under wraps around her. She had new friends, and I couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn't spill my secrets, especially if she was drinking.
Lochlann looked over my shoulder as well before he leaned back into me and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll take a regular hazelnut, please. Thank you.”
“Drinks are coming up,” I called as I pulled the milk from the refrigerator.
“Pey, Pey, Pey,” Clay cried out happily from the hallway.
I turned around and noticed Paxton carrying Clay in. Apparently, he wasn’t put down for his nap at his usual time, so he was still sleeping when Lochlann and I got home. It was going to be fun putting him down tonight. Not.
He squirmed away from Paxton and ran to me on chubby legs.
“Clay,” I crooned after grabbing the large stuffed dinosaur I picked up for him off the counter.
I scooped him up and immediately placed a kiss on the top of his head. “Look what Loch and Pey got you.” I smiled as he snuggled it close.
“Mine? Dino?” he asked excitedly, bouncing up and down in excitement.
I laughed and cuddled him close. “Yes, your dino.”
We had gotten Maisie a colossal Lego set. She was generally a child with a lot of energy but give her a Lego set and she would sit for an inordinate amount of time. She followed the directions really well and barely requested help on any of it.
We had set her up in the front playroom and cleared one of the activity centers. It was high enough that Clay couldn’t mess with it, and she could take her time putting it together. It would probably keep her busy for most of the night and maybe a few days after school.
I adjusted Clay on my hip, knowing he wouldn’t want to be put back down, and began warming up the milk. It was hard to do everythi
ng with one hand, but I didn’t mind. I loved these kids and knew these moments should be cherished.
“Mine.” Clay shoved his dinosaur in my face.
“Yes, yours.” I laughed, grabbing the espresso out of the cabinet.
“What’s this?” Paxton came back into the room, brandishing my dress bag.
“Don’t open it!” I quickly exclaimed.
Just because Lochlann already saw me in it didn’t mean I wanted the guys to see me in it just yet.
“It’s my Homecoming dress. If I get asked,” I teased as I turned back around to pull down some cups for our lattes.
“What do you mean ‘if you get asked,’” Golden loudly protested. “I already told you I wanted to take you.”
“Telling and asking are two totally different things,” I responded with tongue in cheek.
“Fine.” Golden teasingly sighed loudly. “Peyton, will you go to the homecoming dance with me?”
“That’s it?” Kyler rumbled from the archway.
I grinned happily as I turned to look at Kyler. He had been at one of his investment properties today. He was hoping to have it on the market by Wednesday, so he was doing all the last-minute things before the realtor came to take pictures on Tuesday. He looked like he had put some work in today, because sawdust clung to his shorn hair, and his hands still had paint on them. His jeans had drywall dust powdering them, and his white t-shirt wasn’t as white anymore.
He directly crossed the room with a knowing smirk. He knew how much I loved seeing him after a long hard day of work. Something about a man who worked with his hands could be a major turn-on.
He cupped my face before leaning in to kiss me. His lips told me immediately how much he missed me even though it had technically only been a day. His tongue danced with mine with a primal desire. I sighed into his kiss, feeling my libido rise with every second that passed.
“No! My Pey!” Clay loudly exclaimed, pushing Kyler away, reminding us of his presence in my arms. A look of total determination and ire screwed up his little face. I couldn’t help but laugh. My little buddy was clearly attached to me.
“My Pey,” Kyler teased him, ruffling his hair, “you little punk.”
“No nice!” Clay growled.
I laughed once more. “You tell Ky Ky, little man!”
“You never answered me,” Golden loudly bemoaned.
“You didn’t ask right.” Kyler smirked before walking over to the refrigerator and retrieving a beer.
Golden frowned. “How is that not right?”
“Last year, you sent Bailey a dozen roses when you asked her,” Paxton smugly commented as he sat back down next to Zane at the island.
For a second, I felt shafted, but then I shrugged off the feeling. There was a reason Golden wasn’t with Bailey any longer despite her attempts to get back with him. Plus, I really was just teasing him. I never wanted the over-the-top display.
I felt like social media made more of the proposals than they should have been. If it was an actual proposal− like marriage− okay then. However, this was just a dance. Someone down the line had decided to make proms such a big deal, and then Homecoming became a thing. I just believed it made us more narcissistic. It was like we didn’t get enough attention and wanted more. There had to be a line drawn somewhere.
“It was for prom, and she insisted I do something special,” Golden protested. “She cried until she got her way. Is an over-the-top request required for homecomings now, too?” he asked in exasperation. He looked at me expectantly, but I pretended not to see his gaze. I wanted to let him squirm a little.
I poured the hot milk into Zane’s and Lochlann’s prepared cups, hiding my smile.
“Besides,” Paxton smirked as he tried to open my garment bag, “I already planned to pop the question on Tuesday at school.”
“Knock it off,” I yelled at him. “It’s a surprise for whoever I decide to take.”
“I want to see it now, though,” Paxton pouted.
“It looks great on her,” Lochlann wickedly teased.
“He got to see it?” Paxton and Golden complained simultaneously.
“I had to go shopping with someone.” I laughed.
“I would have gone with you,” Madison piped up.
I internally sighed, reminded once more of her presence. “I heard you were going with some of the girls on the team on Saturday.”
Not that I would have gone with you, I silently added. Madison and her new friends had loudly talked all about it as we were getting ready for the game the other night.
“I would have gone with you as well.” Madison genuinely looked hurt.
“We’re not there,” I told her bluntly. “Yet,” I added because of her pained expression. I really had a bleeding heart at times. “Plus,” I continued, “I don’t have that many days left to go shopping, and I didn’t know what they’d have to offer around here.”
“We could have found a shop in the city tomorrow,” Paxton reminded me.
“No, we couldn’t,” I gave him a pointed look, “Zane and I are going. No one else.”
“That’s not fair,” Paxton pouted again. “I could miss a day of school, too.”
“It’s a closed audition,” Zane lied with a straight face.
I gave him an appreciative smile, sliding him his latte after handing Lochlann his. It probably was a closed audition, but knowing Paxton, he would have attempted to get in anyway.
“Did you really want to wander around by yourself?” Zane continued. “Knowing you, you would get lost after the first hour, and we couldn’t come to rescue you.”
“Hey,” Paxton complained. “I could have used my GPS on my phone and found something to do.”
“You’re not going, Pax,” Lochlann said firmly. “There will be other times you can accompany them,” he said with conviction.
Paxton pouted once more as Kyler chuckled.
“I’m going to hop in the shower, kitten. Make sure you tell them exactly how you want them to propose to you for Homecoming.” He kissed my cheek.
I laughed at his instigating wickedness as I stirred Golden’s and Madison's drinks.
“What’s going on in the city?” Madison curiously asked as I dropped off her drink.
Again I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t want her believing we were all good if she continued to attempt to engage me in conversation.
“They got an audition for a music video,” Paxton blurted out, oblivious to my reservations.
“What?” Madison said in genuine excitement. “No way! For who? How? That’s amazing!”
I feigned a smile and shrugged. “We don’t even know,” I explained, heading back over to the espresso machine, Clay still contentedly clinging onto me. “A man that works for this record label approached me a couple of months ago. He invited me to audition for an unnamed artist. I thought I lost my chance, but then he approached me again this weekend. He saw me and Zane dance and invited us both.”
“How exciting!” Madison laughed.
“It is,” I admitted with a smile as I looked over at Zane.
He gave me a gentle smile back, and I was filled with happiness once more. I was so excited to share this journey with him. Even if it didn’t pan out, it was still an adventure I would forever remember.
“It’s not a guarantee that we’ll land the spots, but it would give me an idea of what to expect in the future,” I said with a shrug.
“You’ll get the spots,” Paxton said with conviction.
“I think it means a lot for him to have hunted you down again,” Lochlann reassured me as he passed, squeezing my shoulder.
I smiled at him and felt that warmth in my chest once more. We needed last night and this morning. I was so glad to have had that time with him.
“For sure, especially if he doesn’t like who they had originally cast,” Golden added. “I wish we could see you, but I’m sure you’re going to knock it out of the park.”
“You’ll see us when the v
ideo is released,” Zane said with more boldness than he generally exhibited. He was a humble man by nature, an amazing quarterback and fantastic dancer, but he never let it get to his head. He typically took praise with a modest attitude.
I laughed and shook my head. “We’ll see. Fingers crossed, though.” I poured my espresso over the syrup in my cup. “Pax, would you like a latte?”
“Yes, please.” Paxton nodded. “I’ll take a caramel mocha. Now, about this proposal, is a singing gram too much?”
I laughed and shook my head.
“I called her first,” Golden protested. “I’ll have to think of something, but I’ll ask right.”
I continued laughing as I turned around, my cup poised against my lips. “Really, I don’t want an elaborate proposal. Plus, I want to go with all of you. You don’t all need to ask.”
“Really?” Paxton inquired hopefully.
I nodded. “Well, aren’t you all my boyfriends?” I teased them.
“What color’s your dress?” Zane inquired immediately. “I would like to match you in some way.”
“I’ll get the corsage,” Golden called out next.
Paxton pulled out his phone. “I’ll rent us a limo!”
I leaned against the counter, cuddled Clay closer, and basked in contentment.
●
My contentment was dashed away less than an hour later. It wasn’t until we were sitting down on the back porch, the patio heaters on high, that I realized I hadn’t heard back from Crew.
“Has anyone heard from Crew?” I inquired as I added tomatoes and pickles to my cheeseburger.
Paxton told me Crew was supposed to be working on the investment property today with Kyler. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he hadn’t returned with him until that moment.
“I thought he was with you?” Zane looked over at Kyler.
Kyler frowned. “He left around noon. He didn’t come back here?”
“He didn’t come back last night either,” Golden said, frowning too.
“Where did he go? He’s not answering my text.” A feeling like lead sank to the pit of my stomach.
