by SM Olivier
I stifled the inappropriate laughter as my vivid imagination imagined Paxton raising hell wherever he was. With his separation issues, I wasn’t surprised that he was more worried about me than himself.
“He insists that he see you,” Bryce continued. “Even though Zane told him you were fine, except for your lacerations on your arm.”
I breathed out in relief, thankful at least one of my guys hadn’t been admitted. I tried to focus on Bryce’s words once more.
“Any deeper and you would have had to get stitches. I’m sending you home with some cream. Follow the instructions on the prescription.”
“What was this for?” I indicated my IV and the mask.
“When I was notified of your condition, I told them to start fluids and put you on oxygen before I got here. I’d much rather be safe than sorry.”
I nodded, thankful once more that I had inherited Bryce as a doctor.
“The good news is that your chest scans came back clear,” he continued. “It doesn’t look like you suffered from the smoke. Your throat may be irritable for a few days, and I recommend that you stay hydrated just in case. I would like you to take a day or two off from dance.” At my look, he emitted a sound similar to a snort, and it shocked me. “Fine. Take it easy then? And keep listening to your body.”
He wasn’t typically so expressive. However, it brought me ease knowing he was comfortable enough to treat me like a friend and not a patient.
I nodded as my mind spun in circles at all the information. My head began to throb from the worry that was weighing on me. Golden and Kyler were getting care, but they were still in the intensive care unit. I understood that patients there were in critical condition. A part of me wanted to give in to the tears that threatened to spill over, but the other part of me urged me to be tougher.
I was no use curled up in a ball and melting down when the guys needed me. They had been with me over and over again through my own struggles. Never once did they falter or give in to their fears. If they had, I never saw it. And I didn’t count the time when Paxton had had to walk away from my recounting the time I’d spent in the cabin. Amazingly, he had been taking care of himself for once.
It was time I was there for them.
I couldn’t allow the what if’s to spin me in a detrimental spiral. I couldn’t let my dark thoughts suck me into their treacherous grasps. This wasn’t about me. This was about them and what I could do to be there for them.
“How’s Sal and Des?” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
He gently pushed my hair back from my face, and I realized the horrible smell of smoke clinging to each tress. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to sit next to a bonfire ever again without reliving the terror I had experienced tonight.
“Salvatore also has moderate smoke inhalation and a gunshot wound to his shoulder. He was lucky that the bullet went through. He just got out of surgery a little bit ago, but the doctors are optimistic about his recovery. Desmond has a few first-degree burns and is currently talking to your…uh, David and your grandpa.”
Recently I had begun seeing David as more than just David the Sperm Donor. However, I wasn’t ready to call him Dad or any other similar title. He had done a complete turnaround, but there was so much more he had to atone for. I was beginning to forgive him. I was just finding it difficult to forget right now.
“What happened, Peyton?” Bryce inquired in concern.
I knew it was Bryce, the man, asking, and not Bryce, my doctor.
I tried to gather my thoughts. A lot was going on in my head. I vaguely registered that it was almost six o’clock in the morning. I had lost another six hours of my life. I didn’t know how I always found myself in these situations.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he said.
I noticed the hurt in his voice, and I shook my head.
I knew I’d become more than a patient to him. I knew he cared for me on another level. How much, I… wasn’t sure, and that further confused me. At the same time, I felt guilty that I was seeking solace from him and that I cared about hurting his feelings. It almost felt like I was emotionally betraying my guys.
“Are you from around here, Bryce?” I finally inquired.
He shook his head with a touch of surprise. He always seemed surprised when I called him by his first name, even though he’d insisted on it several times.
“No. I moved here approximately four years ago and pretty much keep to myself.” He almost seemed embarrassed to admit it.
“Well,” I drawled out, trying to collect my thoughts, “Kyler and Crew Fairchild's father is known as the go-to man for all things illegal. A few years ago, he skipped town when he was tipped off that the ATF was closing in on his operations. He was lying low but still managed to keep his business running. He’s back, and somehow he’s managed to convince Crew to work for him.” My voice was breaking, filled with hurt and anger.
I longed to reach out to Crew and ask him if he knew what Butch had done, that his own father had left Kyler, Golden, and Sal to burn to death in one of Kyler’s houses. I knew without a shadow of a doubt, whether indirectly or directly, Butch was involved. How much did Crew know? Would he still stay with Butch if he knew?
No! I knew without a shadow of a doubt he wouldn’t be able to live with that guilt knowing his brother and best friend could have died tonight at the hands of his father. He would have warned them or gotten them out of there. Once again, conflicting emotions were raging within.
“Crew? Really?” Bryce frowned. He was clearly as confused as I was.
I nodded and swallowed back more tears. “We’ve been worried about Crew. He won’t talk to us and yesterday Butch threatened me and warned us away from Crew. He said if we continued attempting to contact Crew and tried to convince him to return to us, he would set Kyler’s properties on fire. Golden found out that Butch had nicked me with his knife yesterday and flew into a rage. Kyler chased after him. The longer it took them to return, the more worried I got. Finally, we decided we needed to find them. Paxton remembered about the tracker Golden had on his phone, and we tracked him down.
“We were too late,” my voice finally cracked, and I remembered the guys tied up, beaten, broken, and left to die in the raging fire. “If I would have listened to my gut a little sooner, we could have stopped it. It was my fault they were there to begin with. I know how much of a hothead Golden and Kyler can be.”
Bryce gingerly embraced me and made shushing noises. “Shh, shh, shh,” he tenderly bade me. “He had no right to threaten you. And you can’t take the blame in any way. You guys got there on time. They’re alive. You guys rescued them from the house. I heard you and Zane managed to drag Kyler to safety. You,” he reminded me. “You’ve already proven time and time again how strong you are, but under normal circumstances, two healthy grown men would have found it difficult to lift a man of Kyler's size to safety. Yet you accomplished the task.”
I tried to stop my tears, but now that they’ve started, I found it hard to stop them. Bryce continued to comfort me, murmuring reassurances, and it took me a moment to realize the additional hushed voices in the room. Bryce seemed to notice them at the same time, because he stiffened slightly and hastily pulled away.
I looked up and noticed Zane, Grandpa, and David poised near the door. Grandpa looked devastated as he took in my appearance. David’s concerned eyes focused on the bandage covering my forearm. And Zane seemed plain confused as he looked between Bryce and me.
I realized then that maybe I shouldn’t have sought solace in Bryce. Perhaps I should have seen about getting released so I could make my rounds and visit the guys and Sal.
The guilt and confusion were back.
I once read that the main difference between emotions and feelings was that emotions were physical states, whereas feelings were mental associations. Had the emotions Bryce stirred in me turned into feelings? Surely not. I was happily dating six… well, five guys now. My heart skipped a beat in near physical pai
n at the mere thought of Crew.
Were these new tumultuous feelings for Bryce stemming from the loss, pain, and hurt I felt from losing Crew?
Or were they there because, each time I’d hit rock bottom, he had also been there for me, quietly in the background, urging me to get better?
●
“I don’t want to leave them,” I admitted quietly to Zane. We were in Paxton and Lochlann’s hospital room, staying the night. I could have cried when Heather, Marie, Freddy, and Renee showed up earlier with dinner, a change of clothes, and toiletries. I had been disgusted by how I felt and smelled all day, but I was so focused on the guys I forgot the little things, like changing into clean clothes, eating, and showering.
After Zane and I filled Grandpa and David in on the rest of yesterday’s events, Bryce released me with my prescription and further discharge instructions. I then went down to see Kyler and Golden. Golden still hadn’t woken up, and Kyler had been placed in a medical coma.
“Me neither,” Zane admitted.
“I’m scared,” I confessed next.
He pulled me in closer. My head was now cradled on his chest, and the rhythm of his heartbeat against my ear was soothing, making me almost forget that my world was crumbling around me. In the shelter of his arms, I felt emboldened. He was helping me keep it together for my guys. I tried not to think about how critical Kyler’s and Golden’s conditions were. But it was hard.
The doctors had found some swelling on Kyler’s brain that they were concerned about. It took all my resolve and power not to succumb to panic and hysteria as they calmly informed us that it was for the best to put him in a coma. They explained that a medically induced coma was one option they decided to use to protect Kyler’s brain after the severe trauma he sustained, that in doing so, it might help his brain begin to heal.
The idea of him having long-term side effects from his trauma and/or death terrified me. I was nearly suffocating from the pressure in my chest and brain. The urge to crumble was my constant companion.
“Me, too, but they're strong. Golden and Kyler have been through worse,” he reassured me, although I heard his fear mirroring mine.
It felt like my heart was splitting in two. I had to step up and take care of the kids while Lochlann and Paxton healed. I had to be there for them. However, I was leaving pieces of myself in this hospital.
Golden and Kyler were going to remain in intensive care until they showed signs of improvement. I didn’t think I had ever prayed as much as I had been, standing over their beds and watching my strong, powerful men reduced to being bedridden and fighting for their lives.
I stayed and talked to them until the nurses kicked us out. I truly believed that a person in that state could still hear us. I talked myself raw while I encouraged them to get better and return to me. I regaled them with some of my fondest memories. I divulged the biggest dreams of my future, our future.
I explained the home I wished to live in one day, all of us, together. I let them know I expected at least three or four kids from them. In addition to Clay and Maisie, of course. I even admitted to them the idea of fostering children and possibly adopting them; an idea I had been playing with lately. After I’d heard all the stories of Da and Mam's impact on the lost and bent, I let them know I would love to carry on their legacy.
“I can’t believe Sal still wants to come with us to the city.” I snorted.
When I visited Sal, I was relieved to find out his prognosis was good, not great, but good. He required ventilation, and his arm would need to heal, but the doctors were more hopeful for a swift recovery for him. He had woken up several times and seemed eager to leave the hospital with or without a doctor clearing him.
“Well, I’m not terribly surprised. I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger fanboy. Ever.” Zane chuckled. “He wouldn’t want to miss meeting his favorite band!”
Anya had visited us earlier, and she asked us what we were going to do in a few days, when we were expected back at the city. My immediate response was to stay here and take care of my guys and the kids. I could put my dreams on hold for them. They were worth it.
Lochlann and Paxton, however, were adamant that we still go. They reassured us that a lot could happen in five days, and they were optimistic Kyler and Golden would be out of the woods soon. They insisted that even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t want us to miss this opportunity.
Our support system went beyond us, and we knew that. Even Anya had volunteered to help wherever needed with the children, as well as with Paxton and Lochlann.
“It’s the least he deserves,” I hummed in agreement.
Earlier, we had been filled in about the rest of last night's events from Grandpa and David. Golden had been able to hunt down one of Butch’s dens, and there, he witnessed product being moved. He laid in wait for Crew or Butch. Kyler was finally able to locate Golden just as Priscilla, Jana, and a few other people of varying ages and races rolled out.
But they never saw the three men that were part of Butch’s security. They knocked them out and bound them until Butch was able to arrive. They hadn’t been the brightest men and never checked for weapons or cell phones. Unfortunately, Kyler hadn’t been able to reach his Gerber, but he still had his phone.
Kyler had managed to place a phone call. In his bound state, he was only able to call the last number he had used. It so happened to be Sal’s.
Sal had run out to get a six-pack of beer after he had talked to his kids. Since he was off the next day− technically today− he decided a couple of beers before bed would calm his nerves from the drama his ex was starting. Sal hadn’t verified that the text he sent Des had gone through in his rush to get to the guys. Once he realized the blunder, he had reached a dead zone on his cell phone and decided helping the guys was more important than calling for backup.
By then, Butch had transferred Kyler and Golden to Kyler’s flip-house. He and Kyler exchanged words resulting in Butch ordering his guys to rough up Golden and Kyler. Later, Kyler said something that truly set Butch off. Unfortunately, Sal was unable to hear the conversation. Whatever it was, it was enough for Butch and his guys to throw additional life-threatening blows. When Butch got tired, he ordered Golden and Kyler's death.
Sal had been hiding at the back of the house as they set the front on fire. The moment he thought the coast was clear, he snuck in through the French doors. One of Butch’s men must have realized he left evidence behind and had gone back to the house, because when he returned, Sal shot him. Four other men came in as a result of the gunshot. Sal had shot them as well, but Butch managed to shoot back, hitting Sal in the arm and leaving him momentarily vulnerable. After that, Sal had no memory of what occurred next, but he figured he was eventually knocked out by one of Butch’s men, then tied up, leaving him to die as well.
“I’ve always liked Sal,” Zane agreed as he ran his hands through my damp hair, gently detangling any knots my brush hadn’t found. I closed my eyes in contentment as I slipped my hand under his shirt, needing to feel his healthy body against my fingertips. I inhaled his fresh, clean scent and relaxed further.
If Grandpa and David weren’t on the warpath now, I knew they would have insisted that we rest, recover, and regroup. However, they were more determined now than ever to shut down Butch’s operations for good.
Heather, Marie, Freddy, and Marie had stuck around and had hung out with us until the guys started getting tired. Our friends made us promise to call them if we needed them. Somehow, I truly believed they would be there for us if we did.
The longer Zane stroked my hair, the more I calmed down. I could feel sleep tug on my consciousness, and I had a feeling Zane was close as well. The couch bed we were sleeping on was beyond my expectations. It was by far the most comfortable couch bed I had ever slept on.
Grandpa had pulled some strings, so Lochlann and Paxton were now in a room more befitting a hotel than a hospital. The doctors believed if infection or any other complications didn’t arise, they woul
d be released in a day or two.
Tonight, Zane and I had been unwilling to leave them. Maisie and Clay were well cared for and had no clue that their impromptu sleepover at Grandpa’s was out of necessity and not something exciting and new to experience. Well, for Maisie. Clay had no clue what was going on and didn’t seem to miss any of us yet.
Zane took a deep breath in. “So, Dr. Baylor?” he gently prodded.
I felt immediate guilt. My feelings towards Bryce were so disconcerting.
“You know he has feelings for you,” he added after a beat of silence.
“I always thought he was a great doctor,” I confessed. “But today, when he calmed me down, I was… confused. I love you guys. I’m happy with you all.”
“He’s a good guy,” he said. “I like him. I’m not sure if Paxton will, though.”
I was shocked into silence, trying to formulate a response. Was he saying it was okay to have these turbulent emotions towards another man?
“I−” I began.
“Shh, beautiful,” he gently said. “It’s been an emotional night for you. Sleep. We can worry about all this other stuff later.”
I nodded, liking the sound of that. I couldn’t trust my emotions right now.
Later on, in the semi-darkness, I listened to Lochlann and Paxton’s monitors and Zane’s deep breathing. My mind and emotions were still in a tumultuous state, but my body was tired from everything it had been forced through, so I finally succumbed to slumber. I just hoped and prayed dreams of the fire and/or Tormentor stayed at bay tonight.
31
●
Weathering the Storm
I could hear voices raised in irritation the moment I stepped off the elevator. I couldn’t help but smile. Generally, hearing raised voices wasn’t a cause for comfort for me, but in this case, it brought me pure joy. It meant another one of my guys was well enough to express ire.
