by KaLyn Cooper
Jack pulled on the rope until she was within reach. He crawled on the ring, almost tipping them both over, and hugged his tiny niece. Adrenalin whooshed in his ears like a base rhythm to her little laughter. She was safe. For her, it was part of the ride.
Thank you, God!
He looked around for Jillian, feeling guilty that he’d all but forgotten about her. No sign of her. He donned his mask, snorkel pushed aside, and peered into the water. She was lazily swimming past coral formations, tracking another parrotfish with her head. She was fine, oblivious to what had almost happened.
Jack caught his breath and pulled Addi back to the boat. Once on deck, he searched for the other boat.
Chas III.
He should have guessed it’d be Chastain’s dive boat. Jack watched as a college-aged guy shoved his beer at a deck hand then fumbled his way into a mask. The other three boys laughed at him as they slid their masks over their heads and adjusted the snorkel.
Idiots. Jack shook his head and pulled a juice box out of the cooler for Addi. He cocooned her tiny body in a towel and placed her on the side bench seat next to him so he could watch the other boat.
He handed her the drink.
“Tank ooh.” Addi hungrily sipped on the straw. What a sweet little thing.
“You’re welcome, princess.” Jack considered swimming over and punching out the captain, but he’d never leave Addi alone. He wasn’t sure how Jillian would feel either if she watched him beat the hell out of the other man. Something had to be done about Chastain and his unruly crews. Not today, though.
Splashing came from the stern where the dive platform and ladder were located. He glanced back to see a wet Jillian gracefully stand and step over the back onto the rear seat. She removed her mask and snorkel then ran fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp. Droplets of water beaded on her hardened nipples and fell to the deck as she moved toward him. He forced his gaze to her face, which glowed in the afternoon sun.
A red outline of where her mask had snuggly fit marred her perfect skin. Green eyes twinkled at him before she slid her sunglasses over them.
“That was awesome.” She strode to him and threw her arms around his neck.
Wet breasts pressed against his now dry chest and she stepped into him, aligning her body with his. Her bathing suit, cool from the water, soaked him chest to groin but did nothing to lower the temperature of his body. He wanted her to stay like that for hours, maybe days. Without clothes would be even better.
“I can’t thank you enough for bringing me here.” She stepped back, and he instantly felt the loss.
“Sure.” It was then Jack registered the catcalls and whistles from the other boat. “Ignore them. Just a bunch of drunk frat boys. They won’t be here long.”
“They’re going to let those guys dive drunk?” She stared over at the other boat. “Shouldn’t we call the Coast Guard or something?”
“Honey, Mexico doesn’t have a Coast Guard, and their Navy is far too busy watching the ports for drugs and human trafficking to worry about some stupid American college kids who drank too much and decided to go swimming.” Jack then added, “It’s a very different world down here.”
With a glance over his shoulder at the Chas III, he saw the deck hands herding the young men into the water. Jack estimated that they’d be less than thirty minutes. He studied the position of the sun and concluded that it would completely disappear in about an hour.
“Let’s check out North Beach,” Jack suggested. “They should be gone by the time we get back.”
Jillian rubbed her long hair on a towel, another wrapped sarong style over her suit, the end tucked into her cleavage. “That sounds good.” She dropped her arms and stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. Fun was chased from her face by sadness.
He wanted to go to her and hold her again. To tell her that he was there for her.
At his slightest movement, she stepped back. “I’d rather not have an audience.”
She had closed in on herself. The earlier exuberance had vanished, more like she’d vanquished the awe she’d experienced underwater. She cradled a tired Addison onto her lap and settled them both on the bench seat that ran the width of the boat in the rear.
Resigned to his suggestion, Jack pulled up the anchor and stowed it. He went to the helm and started the powerful engines. With great care for the snorkelers in the water, Jack putted the boat to deeper water before kicking the speed up a notch.
He was such a fool. Her hug had only meant that she was excited about what she’d seen underwater. It happened all the time on his catamarans. Tourists would get exuberant and grab the nearest person, which was often one of his crew as they helped guests out of the water. Most of his men enjoyed the contact. He’d stopped offering a helping hand a few months ago. It wasn’t his thing to be hugged by wet strangers, no matter how beautiful they were.
By rote, Jack expertly maneuvered the boat around the tip of the island and idled the engines fifty feet from the beach.
“Want to go swimming?” He glanced over his shoulder at her. Blonde hair curtained her face from him, but he could see Addi sprawled across her lap, sound asleep. “Jillian?”
“Let’s let her sleep.” She didn’t look at him. “She’s had a big day.” He swore he heard a sniff. “Let’s go back. Maybe they’re gone by now.”
He made a slow U-turn and took his time returning to the area of the Madonna. The sun was almost touching the horizon when he reached the designated spot. With only a glance at Jillian, he dug out the anchor and threw it overboard.
He turned and froze.
Chapter Nine
Jack couldn’t move.
The bottom curve of the sun slid under the watery blue horizon, and all Jack could manage to do was breathe.
Addi sat silent on the seat beside Jillian, who stared at the antique wooden box in her lap. He hadn’t seen her bring it onboard, but she’d had several bags big enough to carry provisions for his whole SEAL team for a standard op. He recognized the heirloom from his grandmother’s family. It had been hand-carved hundreds of years ago on the island next to them. The thought of it returning here scraped ancient fingers down his spine and made him shudder. Knowing what it now contained clawed at his soul.
She ran long ivory fingers over rubicund relief carvings that Jack knew well. A goddess had been meticulously chipped from the solid piece of wood on each side before the artisan hand-rubbed smooth the rough edges with sand.
Ix Chel, the Mayan Mother Goddess, filled the front with an almost grotesque image. A serpent sat upon her head between jaguar ears that speared upward. Claws instead of hands reached out, and crossed bones adorned her skirt. It was a far cry from the serene Mother Mary he’d prayed to all of his life.
On the back side was the daughter, Ix Chebeliax, with daughters-in-law Ix Hunie and Ix Huneita on the sides. The top was a simple waning moon, the less graphic symbol of the mother goddess, surrounded by common Mayan depictions.
The box itself was sacred to women, as were the goddesses. It scared the hell out of Jack, and it took a lot to scare him. Everything he’d seen as a SEAL had raised his personal fear bar, but that box pinged his limit.
He knew the folklore. Grams used to tell them as bedtime stories how Mayan women would travel to the remote island, usually alone, and smash pottery representations of the deities on the floor in front of the solid gold idols. They’d come to Isla Mujeres as a rite of passage to womanhood, when struggling to conceive, or already pregnant and ready to give birth. Some came fleeing abusive husbands. Being the good mother, Ix Chel was there to help from beginning to end of life.
The Mayan deity also oversaw the passage to paradise. Death.
Jillian had made a good choice to allow the goddesses to keep Jimmy’s remains safe.
He tore his gaze away from her to take in the pink streaks that formed overhead, blending with the Caribbean’s blue sky to create purple tinges. He looked back down to her.
“
Jillian.” Jack kept his voice soft and filled with understanding. “It’s time.”
When she raised her face to meet his, he couldn’t see her eyes behind the large sunglasses, but silver tear tracks glinted down her flushed cheeks.
He fell to his knees in front of her. He wanted desperately to take her in his arms and assure her that she’d be fine. Addi would be fine. To rock them both. And to hide his own tears that were ready to burst.
He covered her hands with his much larger ones.
“Jillian.” She didn’t move a muscle. He listened carefully to her shallow breaths. “Jillian, it’s sunset.”
Her head flew up. With short jerks, like a second hand on a clock, she took in her surroundings. Finally, she faced him.
“Take a deep breath. You’re all right. You can do this. I’m right here for you.”
She sucked in a ragged breath then a second, more filling one. Addi’s small hand patted her mother’s arm as if to comfort.
“Oh, our little baby.” Jillian slid her hand from under Jack’s and pulled the child to her before burying her face in soft curls. “I love you.” With her next breath, she corrected herself. “We both loved you. I’m so sorry, Addi, that you’ll never know him. He would have been a great dad.”
Jack closed his eyes as the bridge of his nose burned. Yes. Jimmy would have been a wonderful father. And a good husband. When he opened his eyes, he had his emotions under control. A glance toward the sunset showed it had almost reached the halfway point.
“Are you ready, Jillian?”
She removed her sunglasses and pulled the corner of her towel from her cleavage to wipe her eyes. With a huge breath, she stood.
“He’s been gone for over two years,” she explained with shaky words. “I”—she took her daughter’s hand and helped her stand—“we have built a new life that doesn’t include him.”
Jillian rolled her lips in and bit them as she visibly fought her feelings. A slow, deep breath was all she needed. “I was so lucky that he loved me enough to give me Addison before he was taken from us. I will always love him.”
“Me too,” Jack managed to get out of his constricted throat as he stood. He looked away at the ocean, which was turning sapphire blue with the evening. “The best times of my life were right here with Jimmy. This is where he belongs forever.”
Jillian’s cool fingers moved up and down his arm. It was the most comforting thing he’d ever felt. Her touch smoothed over the jagged edges of his pained soul. In his brain, he knew Jimmy had left this earth twenty-six months ago. In his heart, the brother he loved was in that box tucked in the crook of Jillian’s other arm.
She slid her hand down to clasp his. He didn’t care if it was because she needed his physical or emotional support; it felt right. Jack bent and scooped Addison with his free hand and planted her on his hip.
Without a word, the three of them made their way to the dive platform. As if God condoned what they were about to do, the stern swung around and pointed toward the Virgin Mary, who stood just below the surface of the island where Ix Chel had helped his ancestors pass to the next world.
This was right. And Jack always did the right thing.
He gave Addi a little kiss on the forehead before he placed her on the wooden dive platform that bobbed inches above the water. When he turned to Jillian, she’d already opened the box. They knelt together and carefully turned the family heirloom over.
No breeze dared to pick up a single speck of dust. The ocean calmed to glass as Jillian emptied its contents. They watched as the gray cloud sank and dissipated in the undersea currents in front of the Holy Mother.
“Bye-bye, Daddy.” The tiny voice was clear, her words unmarred with toddlerese. Jack glanced over to see his precious niece waving good-bye.
He closed his eyes to gain control before he lost it.
Goodbye, Jimmy. I love you.
Jack opened his eyes as Jillian picked up her daughter and buried her face in the child’s neck. A need to protect these two grew from deep within him until it overwhelmed his grief. It became his purpose in life, as if ordered from heaven itself.
Jack forced his gaze away from them. When a slight breeze kissed his face, he felt the wet streaks. He wiped the evidence away quickly and inspected the small curve of yellow remaining on the horizon as he reined in his sorrow.
“Girls, we need to go.” He leaped over the stern, back into the boat. “We need to be at my cousin's before dark. His dock can be a bitch during the day. In the dark it’s a nightmare with the current in that area.” He plucked Addison from Jillian’s arms and brought the baby to the seat next to his.
“Jack.” Jillian’s voice quivered.
His gaze shot to her. She stood only inches from him, but it could have been miles, he felt so far away. He stepped closer, and she moved in.
“Jack?” He watched her Adam’s apple bob up and down next to where her heart beat visibly. “Will you…could you…please…just hold me a minute?”
God, yes. He could do that. Gladly. He reached out to her, and she threw her arms around his neck. Hot tears dripped onto his shoulder as she buried her face deep in the curve of his neck.
He knew exactly how she felt. He, too, had just let go of the remnants of his brother. All that remained were good memories and the pain that he’d never see Jimmy again. Jack allowed a few tears to join Jillian’s as her body shook in his embrace. He ran his hand up and down her back, hoping to calm her—and himself.
It could have been a minute, it could have been ten, but eventually Jillian wrestled her sobbing under control. When she started to step back, Jack didn’t want to let go. She pulled away from his shoulder, but not the rest of his body.
She slowly brought her bright green eyes to meet his. Peering up at him was the most beautiful woman he’d ever known.
“Thank you, Jack.”
“Anytime.”
“I thought I’d cried every tear I had inside me two years ago, but it seems there were a few more.” Jillian’s smile was forced, but it was there. “Thank you for all of this.”
Jack would have been fine if she had stepped back right then. But she didn’t.
Damn her.
Jillian slid her soft hand from his neck to his cheek.
“Thank you.” she said, the words barely a whisper before she went on tiptoe and brushed her lips across his.
God damn it. That’s all it took.
He lost all control.
The feel of her sweet pliant lips on his was more than he could handle. He tugged her to him and pressed his lips to hers. He was demanding, although he knew he had no right. Her mere touch had shattered the bottle where he’d placed all emotion for years, and now it freely poured out.
When she moved her head and opened to him, he was lost. He slid his tongue over hers and explored her mouth. She consumed his every thought and replaced it with desire. His whole body was focused on one thing, getting inside her as quickly as possible and taking them both to the point of ecstasy. Losing themselves completely.
She was wearing too many layers. He needed to hold her heavy breasts in his hands, gently massage them before he sucked her nipple into his mouth. He tugged the towel off her and let it drop to the deck. Her full breasts were warm on his chest, her bathing suit now dry. She was still wearing too many clothes. He slid his hands to her waist and moved them over curved hips then to the back. He had to touch that ass of hers. Both his hands cupped her firm buttocks and drew her body even closer to his.
“Mommy, ’ere.”
Jack thrust his tongue into her mouth at the same pace he rocked his erection into her mound. Christ, this was going to be good.
“Unka Dak. ’ere. Mommy need dis.” Addi’s small hand patted his thigh. “Unka Dak.”
The tiny voice registered.
Jack tore his mouth from Jillian’s and took a giant step back
He glanced down at the mass of blonde curls. The baby held a corner of Jillian’s lost towel.
/> Addison. Jillian’s baby.
Oh, shit.
What had he done? He had almost stripped Jillian’s bathing suit off her and taken her on the deck of his boat. In front of her child.
Jillian swayed side to side, and it had nothing to do with the non-existent rocking of the boat. Her eyes were closed, her face still turned up as if ready for his next kiss on swollen lips. She was breathing rapidly.
“Jillian, I’m sorry.” He glanced away as the last sliver of sun disappeared, leaving trails of dark reds and purples pointing a path to the horizon.
“Mommy.” Addi’s tone was now concerned. “Mommy?”
Jack bundled Addi in the towel she held and said, “Let’s give Mommy a few minutes to get it together. You sit here while I tend to your mom. Okay? Can you do that for me?”
“’kay.”
Jack stood in front of Jillian, not touching her, and called her name. She finally opened her eyes, and for just a second, he’d have sworn he’d seen desire flash across darkened jade eyes. She opened her mouth then shut it.
Before she could say another word, Jack jumped in. “I’m so sorry, Jillian.” He reached out toward her but knew if he felt her unadulterated skin under his hands, he’d do it all over again and might not stop the next time.
Her fingertips touched her puffy, reddened lips, and surprise raced across her face.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you…like that.” He shouldn’t have kissed her at all. What the hell was he thinking? He was supposed to keep his distance from her. He had no reason now to connect with her. It was time to move on.
Move on. Yes. They needed to get a move on. It was pushing six o’clock, and they should leave for Miguel’s restaurant.
“Jillian. Sit down.” He used his Navy lieutenant commander’s voice, the one that made his men jump. Jillian lifted Addi and placed the baby on her lap without a word. He quickly readied the boat and sped off.
Chapter Ten
Docking the boat on the seaward side of the island was a bit tricky with the nightly ocean winds, but Jack piloted the boat perfectly. Dockhands threw ropes to him and offered Jillian assistance onto the rickety dock.
