by Amber Nicole
"Mia, I don't know if you can hear me, but I like to think that you may still be around watching. I don't know what to do without you. I miss you more and more every day. I don't know what happened, and no one wants to tell me. I just feel so lost and the only thing I have memories of is your beautiful face. But you're not here.” She pulls her knees to her chest. She looks so small. After a short while she starts to speak again. “I met your brother today. I think his name is Ash? I'm not sure, all I know is he hates me. Wants me to join you, maybe I should. Nothing else seems to be worth living for. I was really hoping this depression or whatever side effect from my accident would get better being out of the house. I thought today I might make some other friends or I guess friends I already had but instead I was suffocated and locked in here.” She sobs again, hiccupping through her tears and hugging herself tightly. “Should have known since no one visited me the five months I was stuck home healing. Sad thing is Mia, your brother. I have such strong reactions to him. I know he's hurting and I just want to hold him. Weird right?" She giggles, a sound I haven't heard in so long before continuing.
"Me wanting to comfort someone who tried to run me over, and had his friends trap me in here. I must be losing my mind like Gray keeps saying. Every time I try to talk to him, tell him about my nightmares, or ask him any questions. He just says it's a delusion. A side effect from my injury and I should go see Dr. Pepper. I wish you were here every day. I love you Mia forever and on."
Hearing her say those words causes a flash of memories to hit me all at once.
Walking in the hall at school, I grab Gracie and push her up against a locker before dominating her mouth in a kiss so passionate, the teacher yells at us.
"Grace don't let Mr. Daniels get you in trouble, you're one of my favorite students. I don't want to have to punish you, get to class."
"Yes, sir," Gracie tells him. Staring into her endless stormy eyes, I run my fingers through her long, silky locks. Before I pull away to head to class, she gets on her tiptoes to whisper in my ear, "I love you Ash forever and on."
Screaming from the TV snaps me back to the present.
"Help, anybody please!"
Looking down at my watch I see it's not even eleven pm but after that flashback I'm feeling vengeful. I grab my keys and some supplies then head out to my car. It's almost a witching hour my little dollface.
10
Gracie
Waking up on a cold, hard surface was not very pleasant. Especially after that grueling workout from Queen Bitch. Refresher my butt. No really. Oww my butt. I don't think even after all my physical therapy sessions I hurt this bad.
Sitting here in the dark for whatever-many-hours it's been, I start to get antsy. My anxiety is at an all-time high, and I don't think I would survive another panic attack right now. I'm tired. I'm cold. I'm absolutely starving, and I have to pee so damn bad. Deciding to try to call for help again, I stand up and slowly shuffle towards the door.
But before I call out I hear something. It sounds like sniffling? Is someone outside crying?
I move as quietly as I can to the door, slide onto the floor, rest my back against the wall and listen. There it is again, who’s crying?
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Mia."
Wait Mia? Why is someone outside crying for Mia? Staying as quiet as I can I inch my ear closer to the door.
"I'm trying sis. Fuck I'm trying so hard to follow through with my promise but it's only day one, and she's already in my head. I just don't understand why things happened the way they did? We were supposed to get married this coming summer, move away from all this negative bullshit. Start our lives together. Now everything has changed. You're dead, and my own fiancee doesn't even fucking remember me. Not that I would still marry her after everything, but I just really need a sign sis."
What the hell, is that Ash? What's his name Asher? Is he talking about me? I don't understand. Seems to be an hourly occurrence these days. If he is talking about me that means that we used to have a relationship? How is that possible after everything he did to me today? There’s no way he could have loved me?
Plus, if we did have a relationship wouldn't I remember him? How can I remember his sister so clearly and have no idea who he is?
After another so many minutes I give up, I've played his little game. Enough is enough. If being locked in this shed isn't bad enough now my head is spinning with even more questions making this headache worse.
"Please if anyone is out there, I need to get home. I need to take my medications. My head is throbbing so bad and my vision is so blurry. Please, I am begging you. I'm sorry for whatever I did, I would change things in a heartbeat if it meant to take away some of your hatred and pain." I know pleading my case is a lost cause, but I had to try.
Crickets, all I hear is crickets. Closing my eyes for a few minutes hoping it may relieve the pressure behind my eyes I drift off.
"Mia, where are we going? Let's just head back to the party, Ash is going to come looking for us, we've been gone for more than thirty minutes. Mia, are you listening? This is really dangerous! It's dark and I'm really not wearing proper shoes for this hike."
Mia turns and looks at me with such disgust and hatred in her eyes causing me to stumble back a step.
“God, Grace, can you ever just shut up. Perfect little Grace, gets everything she ever wants. Well I'm over it now we're going to do what I want. I’ve spent way too many hours planning this for you to fuck it up! Couldn't just mind your own damn business. Had to stick your nose where it didn't belong.”
Taken back by the venomous tone in her voice. I turn and head back to the party only to have her grip my arm hard, her nails digging into the flesh, causing me to scream out.
“What the hell Mia? That really hurts! Wait Mia slow down, where are you taking me? This really isn't funny! Please Mia stop! No, no Mia we’re up too high you know I hate heights! What are you doing? Mia stop pushing me closer to the edge! MIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Falling, I remember falling and hearing a voice say, “one down, one to go then he's mine.”
Then nothing.
11
Gracie
Jolting awake I see that I'm still in this flipping shed. It's starting to get stifling so I assume it's now late morning. Or I could just be a sweaty mess from that nightmare.
Nightmares, so sick of the nightmares. Every night the same one over and over again. Mia and I walking up that cliff to get some air away from the party and bonfire smoke. Then her just turning into a monster, causing my fall.
I mentioned it to my brother Gray but he just dismissed it saying it was a side effect from my injury, and that Mia would never do anything to harm me.
He's right I know he is, she was my best friend. She was sweet, and a great person. But the constant nightmares just make me think that I'm missing something.
Looking towards the door I see some light shining under the crack. Daytime, I was right. Maybe someone will hear me now.
I bang on the door hard. “Please if anyone can hear me, let me out!”
I go to shake the door handle and it pops open.
How long has that been unlocked for?
Who cares. I walk carefully outside but keep an eye on my surroundings. Moving around the corner I see a group of people waiting. Halting my steps I wait for someone to say or do something.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, it's like they are also waiting for something. Taking a closer look I notice they are the group from yesterday. My supposed teammates and some of the football team. I decide just to turn and go back the other way towards the woods, but the boy that grabbed my hair yesterday steps forward.
“I wouldn't go that way Bambi. Ash might have set some traps last night in case you escaped. He was kind of trashed when he called me.”
Oh he had been drinking makes more sense now why he was sobbing outside the shed. “Thanks, but why are you helping me?” I ask, making sure this isn't just another set up.
“You may
not remember me Bambi, but I remember you, and you not once did something malicious towards anyone. Always willing to help someone out. So count this as repayment for helping me stay on the football team last year. You can head home I’ll keep the wolves at bay. But know this, Ash won’t stop until you’re as broken as he is. He’s the king of this place Gracie and we will always follow him,” he says.
Wow, okay that was a lot to take in just now, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I don't even know your name but thank you. I know this was a one-time parlay but it's the first nice thing someone has done since I came back yesterday. If you see Asher, can you tell him something for me? Tell him I’m sorry, I heard him last night and when he's ready I'd really like to talk to him. No one should ever be in that much pain. I would like to help him especially if I somehow caused it?”
He looks at me with his mouth wide open. “Dom, my name is Dom. If you’re talking about Ashton I’ll tell him, but I don't think it will do much. Now run along home before I change my mind.”
I turn doing just as he said when I think I hear someone whisper.
“Way too nice, she always was too good for this place.”
Sweaty and exhausted from the long jog, I walk into my parents’ house to be greeted by silence. My shoulders relax with relief and I take a few deep breaths trying to calm down. Walking around the living room corner quietly I bump right into my brother Gray. Well shit.
“Gracie, thank god you’re okay!” he says, snatching me in a hug so tight my feet leave the floor and I can hardly breathe. “Where the hell have you been? You’ve been missing for over sixteen hours! Mom and Dad have been searching all night. We called all your friends. We were just about to go down to the police station, but I had to stop by and get a recent photo of you.”
Whoa he's still clutching me to his chest, and he sounds almost hysterical.
“Gray, can’t breathe. Put me down. I’m fine. I just needed some time to myself after these last few months,” I reply, giving him a shrug of my shoulders.
“Time, you needed time to yourself? Gracie you almost died. You were in a COMA!!!! You don't get to just leave without telling anyone where you go, do you even know what I thought happened? Do you even care about all the pain and misery you put our family through from your ‘accident,’ he yells back at me while using air quotes. I’m not sure what he means, it was an accident wasn’t it?
“You know what Gracie, I can’t do this right now, I haven’t slept, and I need to call our parents. They’ve been sick all night with worry.”
Shoving past me he leaves, slamming the front door behind him.
What just happened I knew they would be upset, maybe even furious with me, but that was a tad over dramatic. I should take a quick shower and eat something before the rest return. Thankfully I was able to stop at a gas station on the way home to use the restroom. I was about to burst. Heading up the stairs I look at all the pictures on the wall as I go past. Smiling faces greet me, full of excitement from the amusement park we attended, or what looks to be a trip to a beach. What I wouldn’t give to just run away to a beach right now and never return. This town holds too much pain.
Reaching the top of the stairs I enter my room then the ensuite. Closing the door I take a deep breath anticipating what's to come next.
12
Gracie
“Please sit down Gracie.” Dr. Pepper’s voice is immediately calming.
I sit rigidly in the oversized chair and pull my arms around my chest. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Pepper is a lovely lady. Kind and compassionate but I feel like she digs more than someone usually would.
“How have you been, Gracie?” she says while opening up her notepad and getting comfortable.
“I’m baking again. Chocolate cupcakes this time with peanut butter frosting. Apparently I get the love of cooking and baking from my dad. I wouldn’t know. Getting all my tension and frustration out on some dough works though. Beating and rolling the dough makes me feel so relaxed afterwards and plus I get to eat lots of yummy goodies. I’m sure I’ve put some extra weight back on in the last few weeks that my parents have forced me to stay in the house since returning from my overnight stint in that shed. Not that it matters, I needed the weight anyway after the ‘accident’. I've been grounded. My parents went ballistic. I feel like they may be over exaggerating just a bit. You would think I'd been missing for days rather than a few hours. Probably didn't help matters when I didn't tell them why I never came home, but I mean I'm seventeen almost eighteen and after everything I need to have some more space and freedom.” I wince as I realize I revealed more than I meant to.
“The shed? Are you having problems at school Gracie?”
“Not really, it’s just odd being back.”
She narrows her eyes, “Really? Okay. Your mom said you ran off and didn’t tell her where you were.”
I shrug. “She kept me at home all week.”
“I can imagine that was hard. How are you finding the medication?”
“I’m not sure they’re working. They make me feel sluggish. And the anxiety’s still there.” I twist my hoodie between my fingers.
“Any more flashbacks?” she asks.
“Yes. I’ve had a few more. Nothing of great importance though. Really not worth mentioning.”
“Why don’t you tell me anyways. I can be the judge of that,” she pushes.
“No. Not today.” I glance at the clock, and sigh with relief. Only five more minutes. Today was only a half hour session. She moves closer to me and rests her hand on my knee.
“Gracie I know I sound like a broken record but what you say here will not be repeated. This is a safe space. Are you sure there is nothing more you would like to open up about? We still have a few more minutes.”
“I’m sure. Thanks though.” I fidget with my hoodie and she just sighs and closes her notebook and gives me a small smile.
“Okay, I’ll see you next week then. I will discuss a different medication with your mother. Something that won’t make you sluggish.” I nod my head then make my way to my mother’s car. Just another day in purgatory.
I’ve been back at school for a few weeks now, and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Ash. Man, I really hate that guy right now. Why didn’t I just tell them what happened? What makes me feel like I need to protect him? He’s an asshole. His absence hasn’t stopped my other classmates from being bitches and dicks. No seriously, their names make out the acronyms bitch and dicks. I may have giggled when I figured that out.
My teammates are Bianca, then there is India, Tinsley, Cheyenne, and finally Hope. Now for the guys we have Ash and the dicks. Dom who I believe is Ash’s best friend from what I have heard, Isaiah, Carter, King and Smith.
How no one else has ever realized this astounds me. Or maybe they have but they don’t talk about it. I don’t care after these weeks from hell, this is how I'm going to refer to them, even if it is only in my head.
The first week back wasn’t too bad, just some name calling and some nasty notes left in my locker reminding me to stay away from Ash. They say pretty much all the same thing; that I will regret it if I go anywhere near her man. Hmmm wonder who those could possibly be from? I really don't know why she's so possessive I don't even know the guy.
Practice wasn’t the best either since I don't remember any of the routines and the girls all shunned me. Well except Hope. She’s nice to me when the others aren't around, but that only lasts so long then she is one of the bitches again. I’m starting to wonder if the reason no one visited me for the whole five months I was stuck at home is because I never had any friends in the first place.
Thankfully the week flew by with all the studying and trying to keep up. The weekend wasn't much to talk about since I mainly stayed in my room. I did do some baking.
Week two wasn't any better, still no Ash. The dicks decided to step my tormenting up a notch though. I found nasty things in my locker every day. Monday there were
used panties, and jockstraps. Tuesday someone peed all over my books. Wednesday was even worse: there was a bag full of bloated dead fish. By Thursday I just avoided my locker all together. Bad idea, really bad idea. Friday they realized my plan and decided to corner me in the cafeteria and dump a waste basket full of rancid pig’s blood mixed with women's used sanitary products over my head.
The laughter I was learning to live with but the smell, yuck the smell I could not handle. I ran out of there as fast as I could and found a trash bin in the hall and threw up what little I had to eat that day. Then I walked out the door and headed home.
On top of the bullying my grades are slipping. Due to the constant migraines I have trouble concentrating on my tablet. Thankfully everything is digital so I can study my notes after the headaches calm but my class participation grade is bringing my average down.
I did make a new friend. Even if she is in her late forties, and the school nurse. Her name is Maggie, and she is super sweet. I spend most lunch times with her or when my headaches get too bad and I have to lie down.
It may sound pathetic but it's one of the highlights of my school day. She tells me about her children and we swap recipes. Some days she brings a delicious treat for us to share, and she asks me questions about the future. What I want to be when I graduate? I haven't had too much time to think about it but maybe something involving children, or English. I don't think I could bake for a living, it's just a fun hobby I enjoy.
Halloween comes and passes still no sign of Ash. People are starting to gossip now I guess he never misses a Halloween dance, or party. Supposedly it's his favorite holiday. My days seem to be getting bleaker. The bullying only intensifies as the days pass.
