by Amber Nicole
15
Grayson
Leaving Gracie’s room as fast as I can before she questions me anymore. I run to the restroom down the hall feeling sick. I slam the bathroom door behind me and rest my back against it to try and catch my breath. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck!!!! This is so bad. Even gone, Mia is still ruining my life. Moving towards the sink. I splash some cool water on my face. I feel the nausea dissipate with every deep breath I force into my lungs. Gracie can't learn the truth, it may kill her.
That’s it. Final term paper ever, done. I’m so ready to graduate and start working at the family practice. College has been great, I made lots of friends, and met my wife. But I seriously hate school. I prefer hands on work instead. Closing up my laptop, I slide it into my bag and get up. I’m ready to head back to the house and celebrate with Anna.
“Gray, man you done already? Mr. Overachiever here ladies and gentleman,” my best friend Colin says loudly from across the room, getting nasty looks from other people in the library. I make my way over to him so he stops disturbing everyone. He shoots me his signature grin.
“Please tell me you got permission to come out with the big boys tonight?” he asks before I even sit in my seat.
“Shit, man I forgot to ask. I’ve been so stressed trying to finish my dissertation. I’ll text her now. What were the plans again?”
"Well B Dog is having a huge party at his frat house to celebrate graduation coming up. One last hurrah as President. Was gonna hit that since it's probably the last time we will all see each other, you in?"
I wait a beat until I feel my phone vibrate. I look down at Anna's text. Wow um okay? Did she forget we had plans tonight? Not that I'm complaining since I have a free night now, but seriously cancelling because her sister broke up again with Todd. It's like a weekly occurrence.
"Yeah man I'm in, Brad still got that extra room there? I'll probably crash at the frat house since Annas staying with Julie."
"Fuck yeah man let’s fuck some shit up!" he shouts then grabs my arm and drags me from the library.
I shouldn't have gone. That night changed everything.
I look at how pale my face is in the mirror. I remember how gaunt Gracie looked after she came home from the hospital. So scared, so broken. She’s doing a lot better now even though I tell her otherwise. Her nightmares are not nightmares they are memories, and if she figures that out she could ruin everything. Anna and I are back on good terms again. We had hit a rough patch for a few months before and after graduation. Too many changes occurring at once. I made so many mistakes. Things I wish I could take back.
That’s it I’m done I've had way too many shots. I need to remember where the room I’m staying in tonight is? Using the wall as support so my face doesn't meet this disgusting floor. I stop for a few seconds letting the dizzy spell pass. Ah there’s an empty couch right there with my name on it. Making my way over to my salvation for the moment, I plop down with a sigh of relief. I could just stay here instead of finding a bed. I'm just going to close my eyes for a few minutes.
Not sure how many minutes pass before someone lands on my lap wrapping me in a huge hug. “Umph what the hell?” I open my eyes not expecting to see Mia Daniels on my lap. "Mia? What are you doing here? Get off of me this is not appropriate.”
“Grayson, you're so funny,” she replies, still sitting on my lap. Giggling. Whatever, I am too drunk for this. Pushing her onto the couch cushion beside me. I attempt to stand. Yep not happening way too unsteady.
“Whoa there Gray you okay? Here let me help.” Mia grabs my arm taking some of my weight as we maneuver through the crowded space. She guides me up the stairs to my room for the night. How did she know this is where I was supposed to be? Pushing the door open she pulls me inside and slams me back against the now closed door. I grab her hips to steady myself from falling. She takes that as an invitation to attack me. Crashing her lips against mine, she rips my belt off, pushing my pants down and dropping to her knees before I can even tell her no, or ask what the hell she's doing?
I do not condone my next actions, and I have felt nothing but guilt ever since that night. No one is to blame but myself, and maybe Mia. Yes I was drunk, and Anna and I hadn't been together in a few months but that still doesn't excuse my actions. Mia and I took things way too far that night and a few times after. I should have stopped it right away but she was fun, and down for anything, and so hot. I was stupid, beyond stupid especially not using protection with her.
I need Gracie to stay far away from this. To work on getting herself better and not worry about my past indiscretions. If the truth comes out it won’t just hurt us, there are too many players involved at this point. Even if I do know the truth about her ‘accident’.
You see I have a secret. I know the real truth about that night. Mia called me going out of her mind, if she wasn't carrying my kid I would think she was on some crazy drugs. I didn't answer, at that point I was ignoring her fifty calls a day and non-stop texts. But she did leave a voicemail, one that's haunted me for so long. I should just tell someone but then all my secrets will come out too and I’m really happy now. Not to mention Gracie would never forgive me. Mia wasn't only her best friend but she was underage and being a law student you can see how that would have turned out.
“Gray, is she around? We need to talk. Can you meet me at our spot in like an hour?”
“I told you to stop calling me. We can’t do this anymore. Anna and I are working things out, and you’re my sister’s best friend. The suspicion Gracie had in her eyes after last week when she almost caught us. I can’t have her ever knowing. I’m the big brother, the one she’s supposed to depend on. We made a mistake. It was only a bit of fun. You knew that. It’s time to move on Mia. I love my wife and we’re talking about starting a family now that school’s over. I’m sorry. You're a nice girl but this is done. Don’t call again.”
“It’s too late for that Gray!” she shouts back at me before I can hang up. “I just got off the phone with the doctor. Tests came back positive. You’re going to be a dad. You’re having a baby with me, not your precious Anna. You may not yet Grayson Michael Rose, but you will love me and only me!”
I go to respond but she hangs up. Well FUCK!!!!
I scrub my hands over my face. I can’t believe over a year has passed since that phone call. Anna and I are having a little girl. I’m looking forward to being a dad even though the guilt is crushing me. Losing Mia and our unborn child, and almost Gracie made me reevaluate things. If I could change things I would in a heartbeat, but for now I need to keep Gracie from the truth. I’m hoping maybe someday we can have our relationship back. Before that night we used to be so close. I miss my best friend, and I hope she doesn't hate me forever after this.
“Please forgive me Gracie,” I say, leaving the bathroom, and head down to the kitchen. It’s time we all had a long talk about sending Gracie to a clinic for her mental health. She might not have actually tried to commit suicide, but I have done too much to keep this secret for her to ruin my life after all this time. As far as everyone thinks she did try to hurt herself, and hopefully I can use that to my advantage.
16
Gracie
School is odd this week. Everyone is acting as though I don’t exist. Not one nasty slur, no one’s tried to trip me in the halls. Nothing, it’s almost peaceful. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with Ashton’s return but I’m not going to let it go to waste.
I’m taking full advantage of being ignored and actually eating in the cafeteria for the first time since that horrid day. Having rancid pig's blood dumped on me was horrendous. I think it took four showers before I could get the smell out of my hair. Finding an empty table in the corner by the doors in case I need to make a quick escape. I set my lunch on the table and sit with my back against the wall, facing everyone. When did I become this paranoid? It's not healthy.
Tucking into my grilled chicken salad and sweet potato fries I zone out.
“Hey
babe, how was class?” Ash says to me as I collapse on his lap.
“Grrrr so long, can we just ditch the rest of the day? I have a bad headache and my stomach isn’t feeling the greatest. I may call my mom to see if I can get permission to leave.”
“No you can't go home. We have a game today. Gracie, we need you for halftime,” Mia chimes in, annoyed. I know we have a game today but I'm really not feeling the best.
“I know girl don’t worry. I'm just going to see if I can go home. Maybe after a nap I’ll feel better, then I’ll be one hundred percent for halftime.”
“Yeah, sure whatever Gracie,” Mia says, getting up and storming out.
“What is all that about?” Dom asks from across the table.
“Mia just being Mia.” Ash shrugs. “Don't let her stress you out, doll. Call your mom to see if you can leave okay? Just worry about feeling better. You know what better yet I’ll drive you home we can grab your car later. Come on babe,” he says, lifting me gently off his lap and standing up before taking my hand.
“Okay let me text my mom.” My phone pings. “She said yes, but I’m supposed to go straight to bed.” I tell Ash as he starts leading me towards the parking lot. Turning the corner we run right into Mia. She’s yelling at someone on the phone.
“We need to talk about this! You can't keep ignoring me. I don't care about her, this doesn't involve her. This is between you and me.”
Not sure who she's yelling at but whoever it is, is pissed. I can hear what sounds like a man yelling back at her. Trying not to get caught listening I grab Ash’s hand and pull him back around the corner. He comes reluctantly.
Coughing loudly for a few seconds I try again walking around the corner towards the parking lot. This time Mia notices us.
“Ash!” She says loudly cutting off whoever was on the phone, hanging up on them mid rant. “What are you guys doing out here?” she asks suspiciously.
“Taking Gracie home so she can take a nap to see if it helps her headache. Who was that on the phone it sounded pretty heated? Everything okay sis?”
Losing all the color in her face she looks at me with annoyance then back to Ash with a sweet as apple pie smile. “Everything is great Ash. Just dealing with some ex stuff. Nothing to worry about. Take Gracie home. I'll see you in drama. Hope you make it tonight Gracie, would hate to have to take your spot in the front,” she replies, walking away.
Grabbing Ash’s hand we finally make it out of the building to his car.
“Hey Gracie, you feeling okay? You’ve been sitting here for a while zoned out and the bell just rang?” I snap out of the memory to see Hope standing before me.
“Hey Hope, thanks. Sometimes these flashbacks make me lose my head. Hey can I ask you something?”
“Um, yeah sure what's on your mind?”
“Mia. Always seems to be about Mia these days,” I say sighing, “I know she was my best friend but lately I’m starting to wonder if I truly knew her? Was she acting strange before the accident? I can remember a lot of things about her but the last few days before the accident I’m drawing blanks.”
“I’m not the best person to ask that Gracie. I know you can’t remember anything but Mia was awful to me. Super cruel. I almost quit the cheerleading squad like three times. You were the one who convinced me to stay. You were always so nice. Helping me after practice with my stunts. Never picking on me for my weight, always including me in the conversation. So yeah, if you want to ask anyone about Mia’s behavior, Ash would be the one. I mean he was her twin. Otherwise you were the one always with her. Mia was the perfect mean girl. Popular, rich and cruel. A lot of people didn't like her, they feared her. Just like they fear Ash now.”
“Wow okay that's a lot to take in. From what I can remember Mia was always loved. She was always busy. Partying, or hanging out with friends. We had our designated Sundays but she started making plans to reschedule now that I think about it. Sorry I'm making you late to class. It was nice talking with you Hope. Since everything that happened I really don't have anyone, but I’ll let you go. I'm just going to sit here a bit longer.”
“Gracie, I'm always here if you want to chat or even hang out but it has to be a secret. I'm finally on good terms with the girls. I can't have them treating me badly again. I'm sorry. I've always liked you but we only have a few months left of school. I'd rather be friends in private than deal with Bianca and Ashton’s wrath. Call me sometime if you want okay?”
I nod as she walks away. Talking to Hope has made me feel better. It’s nice having a girlfriend again even if we do have to keep our relationship a secret.
Sitting there for a few more minutes I decide just to skip last period and head home.
The weeks speed by and before I know it Thanksgiving break’s coming up. I’ve been helping mom make a list of dishes and desserts to make for the occasion and some extra goodies for the children's home. My mom had mentioned in passing that the children at a children's home were missing my homemade cinnamon rolls, and cookies. I guess I used to bake a few times a month and go visit them. I decided to just drop them off and visit another time. I don’t remember any of them and considering they don't have many people to depend on. It would break my heart to make them upset knowing I forgot them as well.
Not paying attention to where I’m walking, I run into Queen Bitch and Ash. She’s whining about something to him while he’s ignoring her. I attempt to turn but I’m yanked back by the hair.
“Ahhhhh let me goooo!!”
“Not so fast bitch where do you think you’re going? This is all your fault after all. Right Ash? She’s the reason you haven't called or touched me in months. She is trash, you said so yourself. So why the hell is she still in your head Ash.” Bianca snarls at Ashton while tightening the grip in my hair. What is with girls pulling hair? It's so tacky, such a cliche.
“Let me go Queen B, I haven't said two words to your precious Ash in weeks.”
He laughs. “As if I would ever listen to a word you had to say again, dollface? Not a chance. Better yet I’ve been meaning to take you for a little drive so how about it? Get in my car without any fight and I won’t restrain you and throw you in my trunk?”
What is he talking about? He’s insane. “I'm not going anywhere with you.”
Someone whistles loudly and my arms are grabbed from behind my back while Bianca releases my hair and a bag is thrown over my head. I scream. I scream as loud as I possibly can.
“Shut the bitch the fuck up.”
A punch to the temple makes everything go black.
17
Bianca
Man I hate that bitch. Ever since she woke up, all of Ash’s attention has been on her. He claims he hates her guts but she's all he talks about, and I see him constantly staring. She needs to leave before I make her. Ashton Tristan Daniels is mine! I have the perfect plan laid out to trap him but she’s ruining everything. He never calls on me, he’s ignoring my messages, yeah asshole I can see you've read them. Looking at Ash now I can see the confliction in his eyes, but this is good. He needs to put her in her place so she’ll finally leave. Gracie starts yelling and I smirk at the fact she has a bag over her head.
“Shut the bitch the fuck up,” Ash says looking at me. My pleasure baby. Punching her as hard as I can in the temple, she immediately goes limp.
“Damn Bianca that was too hard, she has a brain injury,” Dom says.
I just shrug my shoulders. “Bitch deserved it D, maybe this time she won’t wake up,” I say with a smile. Looking at Ash expecting to see glee or gratitude, all I see is disgust and anger. Better be towards the bitch on the floor and not me. Shaking his head he bends and carefully lifts her as if she's a baby and cradles her to his chest. Oh fuck that shit. “So after you’re done with the trash why don’t you come over? It’s been a while,” I say to him, gently rubbing his arm. He gives me his signature smirk then heads out to the car lot. Setting her in the trunk I see him rip her top off, then her shoes.
“Bianc
a, baby give me your headband.” Why does he need my headband? I walk over and hand it to him, watching as he restrains her wrists with it before making sure she's completely in the trunk and slamming the lid.
“Dom. King let's roll.”
Heading to the driver’s side I follow him. “Where are you taking her?”
Laughing he looks over my head seeming lost in a memory. “To the place where it all started. It’s time to change some of the past.”
What the hell does that mean? I step back and watch him pull out of the parking lot. I grab my phone and text my girls to get their asses out here quick. Thirty seconds or so later they’re in my car and I’m carefully tailing Ash to see where this illustrious romance started. About forty minutes later I see they pulled into Willow Creek Apple Orchard and Farm. Why are they here? Pulling farther down the road so I'm not caught, we park then quietly sneak down to see what's going on. I hear screaming and yelling coming from around the corner. Oh this is too good. Not wanting to waste such a perfect moment I pull my phone out and start to record. Smile for the camera bitch.
18
Gracie
I’m in a dark cramped space. Son of a witch he really put me in the trunk. Ow, my head is throbbing. What don't they understand about head trauma? Are they trying to cause me more issues? I try to lift my hand to touch my forehead but my arms are restrained and I feel like I may be in my underwear or at least my bra. I think my jeans are still on. What the hell is going on? Like for real this has to be a prank right? What did I ever do to deserve such hatred? I feel so innately connected to him. I just want to help him, and he just wants to hurt me.
