I don’t need to hear anymore, I’ve heard enough. Leaning up on my tiptoes, I press my lips to his and bask in his arms as he wraps them around me and slides his tongue against mine.
All this time I’ve been waiting for a moment, and I was wrong. I wasn’t waiting for a moment, I was waiting for him. For Jasper.
He breaks the kiss first and I miss his touch already.
“You have something to say to me,” he reminds me. He rests his forehead against mine and speaks again. “Don’t be afraid of something you’ve waited your whole life for.”
His lips crush against my forehead next and I admit what I really feel.
“I love you, Jasper.”
And there it is.
The three little words I’ve never said but always needed.
“You what now?”
Shoving my hands against his chest, he doesn’t go far and pulls me straight back into him.
“I said, I love you, Jasper.”
“I’m going to need to hear that every day.”
“Oh god, you’re not going to turn out to be needy, are you?”
“Shut up.”
He lands another kiss and I chuckle into his mouth. Wrapping my arms tighter around his neck, I can’t get enough.
“I’m not done yet,” he says, pulling away.
Spinning me in his arms, he holds me to his chest and traps me between his arms.
Casey is standing on the curb and her smile lights up the street.
“What?”
“Shh,” Jasper whispers in my ear.
I didn’t see it a moment ago, she opens a book and looks down at the pages.
“To the girl who looked to her hero, she said she loved her and called her family. A mother and daughter they weren’t, but the bond they shared would last longer than forever.”
A tear springs to my eye, and she hands the book over to Gabriella who accepts it with a smile.
“When she believed in less, she grew nothing but stronger. She was a fighter and a lover, whoever had her heart would have her fire and soul.”
I swipe my sleeve across my eyes and it does nothing to stop more tears flowing free.
Michael awkwardly shifts from foot to foot and Casey takes the book back from Gabriella. She flips the page and looks up at me.
“She has the love of her friends, even her best friend’s boyfriend and she has the love of an American rock god.”
Gabriella rolls her eyes and Jasper chuckles as he rests his chin on my shoulder.
“She is loved, and she is in for one hell of a Christmas this year.”
I’m once again spun to face Jasper and he steps back, opening the space between us.
He’s holding, what looks like a torn-out page from a book, and hands it over to me.
“This is for your wall, as are the others, only this is real life.”
After the man of her dreams had gained her forgiveness, she told him he loved her. He knew he’d never be able to live without hearing those three little words from her every day. In return, he wanted to give her what she deserved and everything she desired. He used his influence and hired the best family lawyer to battle the courts to bring her and the girl she called family together. He messed up and he knew he did bad, but he hoped as a family where no one was related to anyone but bonded to one another, they would live happily ever after.
“There’s still a way to go, but I won’t stop until you’re her foster parent. It seems I’m not the only one who wants you in their lives.”
“You…? I…”
Shaking my head, Casey comes up behind me and wraps her arms around me.
“This man is making everything possible and he has been warned with a fiery death if he hurts you again.”
I laugh.
I cry.
I wriggle around and hug the girl I’ve loved since she was nine and I saw myself in her, not the lonely child, but the adapter, the survivor.
“There are so many reasons I wasn’t allowed to adopt her,” I say to Jasper over her head.
“And I’ll fix them all.”
His eyes glisten and the snowflakes fall on his hair.
“You win, I’m officially swept off my feet.”
I never thought I’d say those words.
I thought I was destined to be alone.
Now I’m surrounded by people who have not only gone to all this trouble for me, they love me.
They’re my family.
“Casey is going to stay at mine tonight, and tomorrow Jasper is going to bring you over and we’re all going to spend Christmas together.”
Casey slips from my hold and goes over to Gabriella, and Michael opens the car door for her.
“Hang on, what about the social? They have rules…”
“I have Jasper to thank for that, he has it all covered,” Casey tells me and ducks into the back seat of the car.
Gabriella passes me the book they were reading from and it’s only a few pages long. Each page containing a few sentences on each.
“I love you the most in this world, Remi, you know that, but I reckon this guy loves you just as much. I wouldn’t have helped him with all this if I didn’t believe it.”
After a quick hug, and a nod and a smile, Michael has my two favourite girls in his car and he’s driving them away, leaving Jasper and I alone in the street amongst the candles still flicking their flames around us.
“Helping me with Casey, that’s, its, more than I’d ever expect from you.”
He closes the distance between us and a cloud of breath bursts from him.
“Expect everything from me because I intend on delivering every damn day. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know that we’re going to see it play out together, I’m going to be at your side while you guide Casey into adulthood and if she becomes half the woman you are, she’ll go far in life.”
Peeking up at him through my lashes that are wet from the tears that won’t stop, I can’t believe he has done this for me, for Casey, he doesn’t even know her.
“Did I tell you that I loved you?”
“I believe you did, but you can say it whenever, I’m always listening.”
“What’s next?”
“For tonight, we’re going to go inside and lock the door and hope your heating works. In the morning, I’m going to remind you this wasn’t a dream, and then we’ll join your friends and eat too much, and drink too much and I’m going to guard anything that links you to the social media world and stop you from making anymore offers.”
“Because I’m yours?”
Pressing my lips together, I eagerly wait for him to say it. To say what I’ve been waiting a life time to hear.
“Damn right, you’re mine and we’re going to have one hell of a ride together.”
And so, the girl seeking romance was found and she was romanced. All the movies and all the books, she thought she’d felt what love was like through them, but standing in front of this man, this real man, she finally had her own love and her own happy ever after.
Epilogue
Three hundred and sixty-something days later…
* * *
Christmas is so close, and I still have no idea what to buy for Jasper. Casey was too easy and as this is our first Christmas as a family, I’ve gone a little overboard. Between flying out to Jasper’s freaking mansion in LA and spending some time at the apartment he brought here in London, so I would have an adequate home for Casey, somewhere she could have her own bedroom, she ended up having her own bathroom too. I quickly learned the guy has nearly everything and what he doesn’t, he doesn’t mind splashing the cash to treat himself.
I’m walking by the third shop I’m thinking about going in when someone softly taps me on the shoulder.
I turn around and it’s Natalia. Wow. I haven’t seen her in years and then I remember going off about her fella proposing to her from the couch. This is awkward.
“Natalia, hi,” I smile and hope she didn’t catch I
was ranting about her a year ago.
“Hi, I thought it was you. You’re looking well, it must be nice shacked up with a rock star.”
“You look nice, too,” I say, ignoring her jibe.
“Marriage agrees with me,” she retorts. “It’s not always the hearts and roses, it’s about knowing you don’t have to go through the struggles of life alone. Long lasting happiness is knowing everything you do and everything you are is not for nothing. You can turn your nose up at the way my husband proposed, because I know it was me you went on about, but I’ll take him over chasing dreams of brief encounters any day. I hope it works out for you, Remi. When I’m old and have many years of memories with the man you mocked, I’ll think of you and wonder if you’re still chasing love or if you’re truly happy.”
She doesn’t hang around long enough for me to pick my bottom jaw up off the floor and I stand there, speechless, watching her retreat down the street.
I’d want to slap her if she wasn’t completely right. I’ve learned that now and I will be happy when we’re old, I’ll be married, I’ll be watching my future grandchildren run around our house as we tell them to slow down and not to break anything, and when I climb into bed that night, I’ll look at my husband and I’ll thank him for building our life with me. I’ll tell Jasper exactly how happy I am with him still after all the years we will have been together.
My hand slips into my purse and I check the box is still there and it is. It’s not like it would go anywhere.
Instead of continuing the shopping, I head home and then turn around and head for my old home. The bedsit.
“Can you believe tonight is our one-year anniversary,” I say, sliding one of the last presents I’ve wrapped into a sack, ready to hand out tomorrow when we join Gabriella, Michael and their four-week-old daughter, Isabella, for Christmas. Casey is back at the apartment sleeping, excited to finally at the age of sixteen have her first Christmas experience, she’s been a nightmare looking for presents, hence why I’m doing everything here. She doesn’t believe in Father Christmas, she keeps winding Jasper up saying he’s her Christmas saviour.
“I can, what I can’t believe is you still having this place. I want you living with me properly.”
“Come on, we live together, we just live everywhere.”
I look around the place I’ve called home for the last eleven years and know it’s going to be royally hard to say goodbye to this place.
“You’re making sure I’m worth it, aren’t you?” he chuckles, slipping off the bed and sitting beside me on the floor.
“I did hope you wouldn’t figure out my plan,” I grin and shove the last of the presents with Gabriella’s gift.
“Here,” he says, slipping a small box in my hand. “This is one of your presents.”
“One of? I only got you one, in total,” I tease him.
“I know that’s not true,” he grins and nudges me to open the box.
It’s not the right shape for a ring box but with Jasper, you never know what he’s up to.
I peel the silver bow off and open the box to find a silver key tucked into the velvet cushion.
“This is your last Christmas here, babe. When we see the new year in, we’re going to do it together, in a proper house with a garden, that Casey and I have been moving stuff into.”
I haven’t protested about moving in with him as such, we’ve been busy and doing a lot of getting to know each other and now I sit here, with the guy of my dreams that I never once dreamed off and smile.
“Okay.”
It’s not like we don’t stay there majority of the time with Casey anyways, but a house will be nice.
“Okay?”
“That’s what I said,” I laugh. “Hang on, you can have my present early.”
I cringe when I hear my knee click when I stand and laugh to myself when it’s not so bad getting older now I’m not alone. Fair dues to the ones out there who don’t want to be in a relationship, but I do, and always have.
I open the cupboard in the bathroom and collect the box I hid here earlier. Back with Jasper, he looks a little too eager to open his gift I start to feel is inadequate.
“This is for you.”
Ripping open one end of the box, he tips the contents into his hand and flips it over numerous times before settling on reading the tiny screen.
“What does this mean?”
Climbing onto his lap, I chuck the pregnancy test away from us and run my hand through his hair.
“It means we’re not having a baby. I thought I could be, but it’s negative.”
I pass him another wrapped box and he opens it in silence until he sees what’s inside.
“Condoms?” he quizzes. “Your gifts suck, babe.”
Tipping my head back, I can’t help but laugh. “We obviously need them if I had a scare.”
However, he doesn’t see the funny side.
“Would it be that bad having my kid?”
“Having your baby? Absolutely not. Sharing you so soon with someone so dependent on us, absolutely.”
His smile reappears and after a quick reshuffle, he stands taking me up with him.
“One day, though?” he asks.
“One day,” I promise.
As the clock strikes midnight, my love peppers kisses along my jaw and down my neck. This year is not another lonely Christmas for me.
Bonus Chapter
Jasper After Remi’s TV Interview.
* * *
Sebastian is answering all the questions and the chick interviewing us doesn’t seem to mind having one on one time with him, even though the rest of us are in the room.
It’s fine with me, it means no one has noticed me staring out the window watching the unrelenting rain fall as I think about the next time I can see Remi. It’s been two days since he threw me out of her place and it’s taken me all this time to work out what the fuck went wrong. I haven’t come up with anything. For a beat, I thought she had found out who I was and was pissed at me, but that thought quickly faded out when I saw she was angry at herself and not me. Something happened and for the life of me, I don’t know what it could be. There are so many lies weaving around us and I can’t keep being the one who creates them. She’s so much more than I thought she would be when I first watched her online video seeking romance. At first, I thought she was a little tapped in the head and desperate for attention. Yet, I took her in the first time I saw her in the pub and every plan I had, vanished. I’ve seen some beautiful women over the years, but she stole them all from my memory, replacing them with her. Whether my eyes are open or closed, whether I’m busy or waiting around, eating or showering, she’s all I think about.
“Jas, you should see this. That girl is on the television.”
I’m up and off the couch before my manager can finish and I look around for the remote to turn the volume up.
Remi isn’t saying anything; her friend is doing all the talking and neither of them look happy.
I stare intently at the tv screen and she’s holding back tears. She’s fighting them, and it tugs at my conscious.
“What’s going on?” I bark out, needing to know.
“They were questioning her about her parents, they’re both dead. Her dad killed himself after her mother died of cancer, he couldn’t be without her. The guy referred to them as Romeo and Juliet.”
Fucking dick.
“Finish the interview and then go to her, I know you want to.”
I don’t need to be told what I want, everything I previously wanted doesn’t matter now. From now on, it’s all about what Remi wants, and by god, I’m going to be the one who gives it to her.
I knew she’d be here and I’m fucking more than glad she is because it means I get to see her tonight.
Everything was changing long before I saw her on the tv show and now as I take in her depressingly drunk state, it has irrevocably changed. All my plans, my life as I once knew it, it’s all changed, permanently.
; Her friend from the tv show is with her and trying to coax her into putting her coat on. Remi is having none of it and is demanding another drink. The guy behind the bar is shaking his head behind her back and her friend blows out a heavy breath, losing her patience.
Remi stumbles and my reflex is to jolt forward and help her. As soon as she sees me, her face lights up and it kills me that she doesn’t seem that happy to see me when she’s sober.
“Jasper,” she purrs. “Come and meet my friend.”
I’m not interested in meeting anyone, I want to get her out of here and get her home.
“Hey,” I say, tipping my chin at the friend, who is taking me in and narrowing her eyes.
Remi slumps on the bar and I pull her friend to the side of her drunken ass.
“Okay, here it is. I’m Jasper Fisher, and I’ve been getting to know Remi over the last month and she has no idea I’m in a band and we’re in the UK touring. She thinks I don’t know about her journey for romance and two nights ago we slept together.”
“Why are you telling me this?” she asks, and I can see her mind working overtime as she looks at Remi and tries to work out why her friend hasn’t told her about this.
“And what band are you in?”
“Curse of the Moon.”
“Never heard of them.”
“Google us,” I mutter and remind myself they wouldn’t know us if they haven’t heard of us.
“Look, I’m telling you this because I’m taking her home tonight and I want you to know I’m not a rapist or a murderer or anything, and I’m warning you now, you’re not going to tell her who I am or what I’ve told you tonight.”
“And why wouldn’t I? She’s my best friend.”
“Because while we set her up on the worst dates she could imagine, I’m going to be making my own plans to sweep her off her feet, just like she wants, and she isn’t going to see it coming.”
Narrowing her eyes, she digs out her phone and asks, “What did you say your name was?”
Not Another Lonely Christmas Page 15
