by Kat Smith
Alex sped up, trying to outrun the memories. The water splashed violently around her feet as she ran. Tears blurred her vision as another memory flashed into her mind.
She is elbow deep in soap suds washing dishes when she feels Devan’s arms wrap around her waist from behind, pressing their warm bodies together. She trembles as Devan drops light kisses on her neck, her shoulder.
Her breath catches when Devan’s hands slip under her shirt, sending goose bumps rising in waves across her abdomen. She tries to turn but is held firmly in place by strong, yet gentle hands and a pleading whisper. “Don’t move.”
She yields to Devan’s demand, drops her head back onto her lover’s shoulder, and stretches into the blissful caress. She gasps when Devan’s hand moves lower, slipping beneath the waistband of her shorts.
When her fingers find the spot, she moans and slumps against Devan’s muscular body for support. She abandons all her defenses and gives Devan what she craves. It’s a long, slow burn that builds, burning hotter, and finally explodes into wave after wave of pulsing release.
When Payton spotted Alex’s car next to the security door of the track, she parked beside it and got out to try the door but found it locked. She was walking to the other end of the track when the beam of a high-powered flashlight washed over her long frame. She slipped a hand inside her black raincoat to rest on the 9mm holstered at her back. She turned slowly and saw her old friend and former CIA agent Charlie Peterson maneuvering a lopsided golf cart in her direction.
She dropped her hand and waited until he pulled the cart to a stop beside her and slid into the cart beside him. “Charlie. How ya doing, my friend?”
“I’m fucking bored to death, Director.” He laughed. “Retirement sucks.” He peered at her limp, wet hair. “Messy night to be slinking around without an umbrella.”
She shrugged. “You know those things are nothing but portable lightning rods.”
He studied Payton and saw the lines of worry around her eyes. She was a zinger, but what made her most attractive was she didn’t seem to notice or care that even drenched as a wet cat in a monsoon, she was one of the most attractive women he’d ever met.
Payton swiped her limp hair out of her face. “Thanks for calling, Charlie.”
He looked toward the structure. “Told you I’d keep an eye on her. She’s in a bad way tonight.” He motored the cart back to the door beside the cars.
Payton looked toward the door. “How long has she been out there?”
Charlie glanced at his watch. “Going on a couple of hours now. She ran a while, then sat in the middle of the field in the rain for a long spell.” He stopped the cart next to the door and pulled a large ring of keys from the slot in the dash. “That’s when I decided to give you a call. I knew something wasn’t right with her.”
Payton swung her legs out of the cart. “Appreciate it.”
“Anytime.” He plodded toward the door. “Hey, you got any work you can send my way?”
She stopped and turned back to the former CIA agent she’d worked with throughout the years. She now used him on occasion for some off-book projects. “I might have something that needs your special talents. I’ll give you a shout tomorrow or the next day once I determine what direction I’m going to take it.”
He unlocked the door and held it open for her. “I almost forgot. There was a little spitfire woman that came by a couple of weeks ago. Said you’d sent her to get Alex. I wasn’t sure about her, but she mentioned your name, so I thought it was okay. I stuck around, and they ended up leaving together.”
Payton smiled sadly. “Yeah, she was one of the good ones.”
His mind was still sharp as a tack. “Was?”
“Yeah, we lost her on a mission just a few days later.”
He rubbed a hand over his scruffy chin. “Damn. Sorry to hear that. As I said, I stuck around to make sure she was okay. They looked like they were…um…close.”
Payton nodded. “And I suspect that’s why Alex is out here running in the damn rain.” She tipped her head to Alex’s car. “Think you can watch her car until I can send someone to get it?”
“Of course.” He stepped aside.
“Thanks again for the heads-up. I owe you. We’ll chat soon.”
Payton stood on a covered landing overlooking the track. She was concealed in the shadows in her ankle-length black raincoat. She caught sight of Alex, watched her steady pace as she ran, and wondered how she could still be going that hard after two hours.
She descended the concrete steps to the track when Alex took a hard fall and rolled across the hard, red surface on the third turn. The coach would deride her for walking across the brand new track in heels, but Payton didn’t care and walked on until she reached and knelt beside Alex.
Alex jerked when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Blood streaked from her knees and was washed onto the track by the sudden deluge of rain. She started to sob uncontrollably.
Payton pulled her close. “Come on, sweetie.”
“I miss her so much.” A new wave of sobbing washed down her face.
Payton dropped to the track behind Alex, pulled her close, and held her tightly. “I know...I know you do.” The tears that Payton had fought off for days finally flowed and mixed with the rain.
“I’ve lost her. Just when I got her back. Now she’s gone forever.”
Payton clinched her eyes shut against the tears. “When?”
Alex swiped uselessly at her face. “A couple of weeks.”
Payton kissed the top of Alex’s head and felt her heart break. “I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t know.”
“No one did. Now…now it doesn’t matter anymore.”
She hugged Alex tighter. “It matters. It matters to you, so it matters to me.”
They were oblivious as the rain puddled around them. “Doesn’t matter to her.” Alex tensed. “She’s a cold-hearted bitch. Nothing matters to her but her precious missions.”
Conflicted, Payton governed her words. “You know that’s not true.” She gave Alex’s shoulders a gently shake. “I was with her during the mission. I saw what it did to her.” She spoke softly. “It was a different kind of love, but she loved Devan, too.” She moved to see Alex’s face. “It ripped her apart, just as it has you.” She knew she was breaking a long list of regulations, but it was important that Alex understand how Mara felt. “You know, I shouldn’t tell you this, but you know Devan didn’t have any family, or at least none that the colonel knew about.”
Alex swiped her nose with the back of her hand. “She despised her grandmother.”
“On her pre-mission paperwork, she listed the colonel as her emergency contact…and her next of kin.”
Alex sat quietly for a moment. “She did?”
“Yes, she did. Devan loved her like a mother, and that love was reciprocated.” Payton swiped her dripping hair back. “I can’t imagine what it did to her to watch…to see…to lose Devan.” She hugged Alex tight. “I can’t imagine what it’s doing to you to know just when you got her back, she’s gone.”
She released Alex, stood, and held out her hand. “She mattered to all of us, and we will not let her be forgotten.”
When Alex didn’t take her hand, Payton leaned down and pulled Alex to her feet. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you through this, but you have to stop shutting everyone out.”
Payton led Alex across the soccer field. “It’s my fault she’s dead.”
“Alex, it wasn’t your fault.” They climbed the steps to the covered bleachers.
Alex dropped to the bleachers and absently took the towel Payton had pulled from her gym bag. “It is my fault.” She wiped her face and hair. “When we were leaving the safehouse, Devan had to pull me out of the chair. We were almost out the door when I realized I’d left the flash drive in the laptop.” She dropped her head and felt the tears begin again. “Devan went back for it.”
Payton took the towel from Alex and scrubbed it over her hair and face, giving h
er time to think. “It’s not your fault, sweetie. It was a horrible series of events. We watched the entire mission in real time. There was nothing anyone could have done differently.”
Payton shouldered Alex’s bag. “Bad things happen to good people.” She led her to the door. “And Devan was one of the best.” Alex followed without protest. Payton opened the passenger door to her car. “I’ll drive you home and send someone for your car in the morning.”
It was late when Payton got Alex home. After Alex showered and changed into dry clothes, she was inclined to drown her sorrows, something she’d obviously done over the last couple of weeks. Payton wrestled a bottle of wine out of her arms and finally convinced her to sleep for a while. She’d then turned her attention to the unusually grimy house.
When Mara called, Payton was gathering a heap of empty wine bottles she’d found scattered about the house. “Yes, I found her at the UMD track.”
“How is she?”
Payton tossed an armload of bottles in the recycle bin. “Devastated. Completely broken.”
“Are you with her now?”
“I talked her into sleeping for a while.” She gathered more bottles. “She’s been drinking nonstop for days. This place is trashed. I’ve tossed out a dozen empty wine bottles, and I’m not finished.”
“Dear God.”
Payton took a break and sat at the kitchen table. “Did you know they were back together?”
“You think?”
She jerked her arm off the sticky table. “They were. She told me tonight.”
“Sweet Jesus. I didn’t think it could get any worse, but it just has.”
Teona sat beside the bed and adjusted a brace she’d removed from a woman earlier in the day. When she was satisfied, she knelt and carefully slipped it over Devan’s lower leg. “This is more better, but you do not walk too very much.”
Devan stood, tested the brace, and cringed when she put her full weight on it. “It’ll do.”
Teona nodded her approval. “I could not get supplies for cast for your arm. Will try tomorrow.”
Pain shot up her arm when she moved her fingers. The doctor had used old newspapers and medical tape to create a makeshift cast. It would do, but Devan knew if she fell or used it too much in the next few weeks, the bones would slip out of alignment. She didn’t want to go through having it reset again.
“You are not safe here. When the doctor comes to see you tonight—”
Devan abruptly cut her off and snapped, “He drugged me. I don’t want him to come back. I’m fine.”
“He must see to your wound. Must be bandaged.” She gave Devan’s leg a gentle pat. “He will only give antibiotics.” Devan didn’t look convinced. “I promise.”
She didn’t know this woman, but for some reason, she trusted her. Not too many people would risk it all to save a stranger, a foreigner who’d broken into her own home and ripped her phone out of the wall. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Teona shrugged and smiled. “You were nice to me.” She picked up Devan’s dirty clothes. “Doctor will help move you to my house tonight.”
Devan shook her head. “No, it’s too dangerous for you. I’ll find somewhere to hide out until I can figure out how to get home.”
Teona scoffed at the idea. “You have maybe broken foot. You have broken arm, ribs.” She grinned at Devan. “And bullet wound from when tree shoot you.”
“Don’t make me laugh.” Devan laughed and grabbed her side. “You are a very kind woman. Thank you.”
Teona turned for the door. “Christopher will come soon. He is not a good man. He must not see you. You will hide in my house. He does not go there.”
Devan’s face creased with worry. “How often does he come here?”
“Three,” she shrugged, “maybe four time this year.”
Devan sat back on the bed. “Have you ever seen him here with any of the men from the other night?”
Teona picked up a pillow and placed it behind her back. “I did not see all, but maybe one looked familiar.”
“What did they talk about?”
Teona shrugged. “I do not know. They talk quiet, but I saw maps.”
Devan was intrigued. “Maps of what? Where?”
Teona tilted her head in thought. “Mother Russia, Azerbaijan, Georgia. They draw many lines on these maps.”
“Can you get a map like the one he had for us? Would you be able to remember the markings?”
Payton woke to see Alex walking from the kitchen with a glass of wine in her hand. She squinted at her watch to see it was only 0700. “Really? You’re drinking in the mornings now.”
Alex jumped in surprise. “Can’t sleep.”
Payton unfolded her tall frame from the sofa and began expertly folding the blanket. “Then why don’t you come sit and I’ll make us a cup of coffee?”
Alex hugged the bottle of wine protectively, dropped to the sofa, and propped her feet on the freshly polished coffee table. “How did you know I was at the track at UMD?”
She shoved Alex’s feet off the coffee table. “I spent half the night cleaning up this elegant dump. Show a little appreciation.”
“Answer my question.” She was in a dreadful mood but left her feet on the floor.
Payton smirked. “I work in intelligence, remember.”
“Ahh, Charlie.” She nodded. “I should have known you’d have him in your back pocket.”
“It pays to keep in touch with my former associates. He does odd jobs for me on the side.”
Alex’s brows shot up. “You’re using a former CIA agent to run projects for you? Is that even legal?” She raked a hand through her tangled red mane of hair. “Please tell me he isn’t working stateside.”
Payton shrugged. “He’s retired. And you know as well as I do that the intelligence world is fluid. Boundaries are vague now that everyone and his brother have internet.”
“That’s an extremely thin gray line you’re walking, Director.”
Payton ignored the rebuke and straightened a stack of magazines on the coffee table. “Speaking of intelligence, we’re pulling data from your program.”
“I don’t care.” Alex huffed. “I’m on leave, remember.”
“Of course, you care. This program has been your life for almost two years.”
She wasn’t sure why, but she blurted out a decision she’d been struggling with for weeks. “I’m not coming back.”
Payton dismissed the declaration with a wave of her hand. “Sure, you are.” Payton leaned forward, but Alex wouldn’t look at her. “You need time, I get that. Take all the time you want.”
Alex knocked back the rest of her wine and stood. “I need to get away from all this shit. I have the money from Dad’s life insurance. I think I’m going to travel for a couple of years.”
Payton leaned forward, elbows on her knees. “Alex, you’ve been through a lot the last few weeks. We lost Parker just before the mission, then Devan. Neither of them would want you to turn your back on your career.”
Alex spun around. “Don’t you dare play your mind games with me.” In a huff, she walked into the kitchen.
Payton leaned back into the cushions and spoke loudly enough for Alex to hear, even though she was trying to escape the conversation. “Leaving your work isn’t the answer. We’ll always lose people we love, but with your work…with what you’re doing, you can change the outcome for countless others. Keep others from losing someone the way you lost Devan.”
Alex came back into the den with the bottle of wine, and Payton watched her pour another glass. “Think about it. Give yourself some time. If you still want to quit in, say…five weeks, then I’ll respect that decision.”
Alex downed half the glass. She was belligerent. “What? Did you just pull that number out of your ass?”
Payton shrugged. “No. That’s what’s left of your vacation and sick leave.”
“Christ. Enough already. Okay, fine. I’ll think about it.”
Payton
stood and picked up the wine bottle and took it to the kitchen. She left Alex alone sulking in the sitting room while she made coffee.
Ten minutes later, she returned with two cups, a pot of coffee, cream, sugar, toasted bagels, and Alex’s favorite jam on a tray. She set it gingerly on the coffee table, then returned to the sofa. Payton patiently doctored her coffee, spread jam on a bagel, and sat back to enjoy her breakfast and wait for Alex to make the next move.
Alex finally huffed out a breath, leaned forward, and scooped an enormous glob of jam on a bagel. Payton thought Alex was hot-tempered, opinionated, brilliant, calculating, and as she smiled into her coffee cup, very predictable.
Payton gave her another few minutes to get some caffeine on board and finish off the bagel, then decided to forge ahead. “Look, I hate to ask, but Vincent still doesn’t understand how to unravel all the data that’s coming in.” She eyed Alex. “It would help tremendously if you could come in for a day or two. Three at the most and help him understand how you built the database.” When she only got a glare from Alex, she sighed and decided to negotiate. “I’ll make a deal with you. Once we have this bunch of rebels in a cage, you can take a leave of absence. I’ll hold your position for as long as you need. When you’re ready, you can come back into your same role and pick up where you left off.”
Alex snorted and shook her head. “You always get your way, don’t you, Director?”
Chapter Eleven
A month had passed since the mission went tits up and Devan’s world spiraled into a series of days filled with bandage changes, sleep, and constant pain. Teona had been wonderful to her, and she still couldn’t understand why the woman was taking such a risk harboring a wounded American soldier in her house. If they were caught, Devan knew it would be certain death for both.
In this part of Russia, far away from the booming activity in Moscow, men and women worked long hard days for a paltry income. Though Teona was one of the fortunate ones with a full-time job in the local hospital, she took formidable risk by stealing the medical supplies needed to get Devan healthy and back on her feet. All because Devan had seen her as an innocent on that dark horrible night, had treated her with respect, and had made sure her unintended injuries were treated.
