by Tiya Rayne
Artimus is still around and he’s still ornery. However, he adores Matthias and William. He loves to tell them stories of their brave mother. He turned out to be a bigger Lilly fan than anyone else.
Rykan is still the king of the Southern Kingdom. He was able to find Bartus in the dungeon of the Northern castle and he did exactly what he said he would, he killed his father. Rykan and I have come to an understanding with the boys. They call him uncle Rykan, but they know only me as their father. Besides, he will soon have a son of his own to call him father. After everything settled down, Sarafine crawled back to Rykan pleading that he take her back because she was his wife. I was proud when the boy king stripped her and her parents’ title from them. He is married to a beautiful girl named Millisen or Millie. She is a thick beauty. I assumed Rykan wouldn’t know what the hell to do with all those curves, but again, he surprised me.
We lost Bilal, Cleo, Tipper and many more that night. Many that we considered friends and some were family.
“Yer’ better than yer’ old man, Lad. That’s for bloody sure.” Drago says giving my youngest a fist bump.
Unfortunately, the asshole dragon survived that night too. He walks with a limp, but he is alive.
“What about me, Uncle Drago?” William asks.
His unruly dark hair sticks up all over his head.
“Hi, William!” A young pink female nymph says shyly as she walks by.
My oldest son follows her with his eyes and a grin on his face.
I pat him on the shoulder to draw his attention back to me.
“Maybe if you focused on something other than the young women, you would get better.” I jokingly.
Drago and Matthias laughs. William shyly shakes his head with a smile.
“Training time is over boys. It’s time for the celebration feasts.”
“Yes!” they both cheer in unison.
They rush away from the training center, their maids and guards hurrying to keep up with them. Drago and I watch them until they are out of sight.
Every year at this time, we have a celebration feast. It’s pretty much a national holiday for all Lockeans. It is the day that we won the battle against the Dark King. It is a celebration of the victory and the lives lost that night, but most importantly it is a celebration for her. We feasts in the massive hall of the glass castle, we play softball in the fields, and we talk about Lilly. We talk about the loving woman that she was. We discuss her beautiful heart and her kindness. We talk about the adventures we had with her and the laughs she shared with us. We remember the human girl that gave her life for ours.
And like always, I skip the celebration.
Even after eight years I am not over her. I know why she did what she did, and the role I played in all of this, but I cannot get over how bad I miss her. Each day the pain is as if it is happening all over again. I see that look in her eyes before she falls every time I close my eyes.
“Let me guess,” Drago says scratching his chin as he walks alongside me. “Ye’ will miss this one too?”
“You know I will.”
“The boys are starting to notice yer’ absence. They’ve started to ask why ye’ don’t come.”
“I will tell them when they are old enough.”
Though many positive changes have occurred since I’ve been king, one change has been shocking to everyone. I no longer speak to the elven queen. The boys adore their aunt. She comes often to visit them, but whenever she comes I leave the room. She has often tried to speak to me and I either walk away or ignore her. I know I shouldn’t blame Avalia for Lilly’s actions, and I don’t really. However, I do fault her for not telling me about the vision. I was so worried about keeping her alive, that I never even fathomed it would be Lilly that I would lose.
“How long will ye’ hold this grudge?”
“Forever.” I growl out.
Drago stops in front of me causing me to stop. “Ye’ are not the only one that lost her. We’ve all suffered from Lilly’s death. We all miss her.”
“Your woman is pregnant with your second child. Do not tell me your pain is like mine. I fucking loved her.” My last sentence is shouted, causing everyone in my castle to turn and look at me.
“Lilly would not want this.” Drago whispers towards me.
I shake my head at Drago as I step around him. I am so fucking tired of everyone telling me how I should feel. I have become the king that I was supposed to be. My kingdom is thriving, my people are happy. What else do they want from me? So what if I have become a recluse. Who cares if I don’t attend council meetings, Oden goes in my place and he is a great stand in. I have given these fucking people all that I can. I gave them my heart the day Lilly died for them. I didn’t owe them anything else. Drago has no idea how my pain feels. He and the witch Medina are happy together. They argue all the godsdamn time but they love each other. He can never talk to me about losing Lilly. He did not lose the same thing I did.
I slam the door to my bedroom. I rebuilt the Northern castle after I took it over. I was definitely not keeping that fucking bedroom. My room now is fairly modest. The bedroom is similar to my old room in the glass castle. My massive bed is in the center of the room, four tall post reach up to the ceiling at the front and bottom of the bed. A large office with built-ins and a large L-shaped desk. A fire place sits at one end and over it is a large portrait of Lilly. The artist did a remarkable job of the portrait and it captures her smile, those hazel eyes and those beautiful dimples. I spend most of my time in this room for that portrait alone. This isn’t the only portrait I have of Lilly around the castle. I wanted reminders of her everywhere so the boys could always see their mother. But this picture is special, because in this picture Lilly is in the white wedding dress. The one I envisioned she would wear for our wedding. I will never forget how stunning she was that night.
I shake the vision from my head and have a seat behind my desk.
“She is beautiful in that picture isn’t she?” I wasn’t shocked to hear Avalia’s voice in my room. I knew she would come today. She always comes to me on this day.
I ignore her the way I usually do.
“She would have made a wonderful queen.”
I look up at her to find her back to me. Her snow colored hair is elegantly braided down her back. Her crystal crown on top of her head. Her dress is light purple, but it is not like the dresses she usually wears. It is one shouldered and sheer like the dresses Lilly use to wear. My throat tightens. Once again I am struck by Avalia’s beauty. I am not surprised that she still has yet to take a king. I know that she is in love with me and that is why she has not settled down.
Her beauty catches me off guard and I speak to her before I can remind myself not to.
“What do you want Avalia?”
The elven queen spins around to look at me. “He speaks! After eight years of silence, the great Assassin King speaks.” She says it teasingly as she places her hands on her hips.
I do not reply.
She sighs dropping her hands down at her side. “How long do you plan to hold on to this grudge?”
“Why the bloody hell do everyone keep asking me that?”
“Because it is becoming ridiculous. If it were just I that was suffering I would not bother, but your sons are suffering.”
My eyes narrow. “I live for those boys. I love them…”
“No, you don’t.”
I stand up so fast I knock the heavy wood chair to the floor.
“YOU KNOW NOTHING!”
“I know that she asked you to love those boys and you’ve done a piss poor job.”
“I swear, Avalia, you say one more word I will drive my blade through your fucking heart.”
“Then I will be as dead inside as you.”
Her words take all the fight out of me. I am dead inside. I do love my sons, and would die for them, but I am only half of myself. You cannot fully love if you are not whole.
I walk from behind my desk. With my hands in my poc
kets, I lean against the front of the desk. I stare up at the picture of Lilly. Right now, decorations for the celebration festival are going up around us. Every one hangs lilies from their windows and door ways. That tradition didn’t start until the second year. They serve cooked pigs they roast over open flames. We call it a cook-out just as she had that day in the Elven Kingdom. There will be dancing and singing, all in her honor. She would have loved it. I think of everything she will miss out on. Especially the things involving the boys.
“Why didn’t you warn me?” my voice is filled with pain and regret.
This is the first time she and I have spoken of this topic.
I hear the sound of her footsteps coming closer to me. “Because if I had told you of my vision, you never would have let her do it. And fate will always take its pound in flesh, Assassin. You stopped Lilly’s death that night you met her in the forest. You interfered. Fate came and took back what it was owed.”
“But your vision of my children. Was that not fate?” The emotion clogs my throat and makes my words come out raspy.
I turn to look at her and she shrugs.
“I do not understand that part. Trust me, I thought of this numerous times. I saw your future before you ever met Lilly. I even did all that I could think of to get you those children. Yet in the end she still had to die. Maybe I am the one that is flawed.” She sits down on the edge of the desk beside me. Her shoulder brushes mine.
Silence fills the space between us. Both of our minds in different places.
“You need to go say good bye to her.”
I shake my head. I’ve thought about it many times. When Lilly fell she was still wearing the butterfly pendant. I could simply follow the magic and it would take me to her gravesite. However, whenever I make up my mind to go, I back down. Part of it is because the thought of staring down at a pile of dirt sickens me. The other reason that I can’t make myself go say bye to Lilly is because I failed her. I was supposed to keep her safe. I was supposed to make sure that she got her happy ending with her sons and yet, she is dead, and I am here with the boys.
“I know it is not ideal,” Avalia explains. “But in order to open your heart again and to give those boys the love that Lilly wanted them to have, you have to say goodbye to her. And you must also forgive yourself.” Her sparkling blue eyes look to me and I know she has read my deepest regrets.
She is right. I have no doubt Lilly would want me to forgive myself and move on. That was the type of person she was. Always worried about others. I owe it to Lilly to say goodbye. I needed to thaw my heart so that I can love again. My boys needed that love.
I hug the twins before sending them off for the big celebration feast. I take a deep breath as I allow the magic in the butterfly pendant to take me to Lilly’s final resting place. I trace away to the human realm. When I open my eyes I find myself at the edge of a cemetery. There are tombstones as far as the eyes can see. Hundreds of them in different shapes and sizes. My heart drops to my feet. My strength to keep moving slowly ebbing away. I let out a breath and keep pushing. I have to do this. I find the large black square granite head stone with the name Peters etched in the center. Engraved on each side of the square head stone is a vine of flowers. I drop to my knees in front of the large black stone. My hand touches the smooth cold granite and tears fall from my eyes. This is harder than I thought.
“Why, My love?” I croak out the question. “Why did you have to leave me?”
I’m so lost in my pain, I didn’t hear when someone approached me until they spoke.
“You lost, Mister?” A small voice ask from behind me.
I turn around to find a young boy wearing a red sweater with dark blue jeans. He has wild flowers clenched in one hand. He couldn’t be older than six or seven years. A large black and silver wolf is at his side. The wolf growls a low warning and I have a feeling that I know the beast. The boy catches my eye again and I stare into iridescent brown eyes. His skin is the color of white honey and thick brown curls circle his head. That feeling of familiarity hits me again. The child looks eerily similar to someone I know. The boy places a hand on top of the wolf’s head and the beast calms down. His actions causes me to take notice of the butterfly pendant around his neck.
“Who are you?” I ask, as I stand to my feet. “And why do you have that necklace?”
Would Lilly’s family have given her pendent away? But how did they take it from her neck?
The boy looks down at the necklace and then back to me.
“This was my mother’s necklace, and I am Nashir Peters. This is my dog, Phoenix. Now, who are you?” His voice is strong as he tries to intimidate me. I would laugh at his cockiness if the situation was different. “And why are you at my Uncle Buddy’s grave?”
Wait! Uncle Buddy’s grave? I look back at the headstone, and on the ground is a smaller square grave marker. William “Buddy” Peters. Seems he’s only been dead for a year. His other words start to register as the fog clears from my head.
“Did you say your mother’s necklace?”
The boy narrows his eyes suspiciously and cocks his head to the side. I am immediately shaken to my core. I take a weak step closer to the young man with the elf ears. The wolf growls a warning that I ignore.
Is this who I think it is?
“Well it took you long enough!”
I spin on my heels at the sound of that voice. A voice that I will never forget for as long as I live. My gods, she is even more gorgeous. Her hair is shorter, only falling to her shoulders. Her face is a little fuller, and her hips wider. She smiles at me, and that smile burns through me striking a match that ignites my dead heart.
“Lilly?” I ask the vision in front of me.
Could this be true, could the gods have answered my prayers?
“You know, when you told me you would always come for me, I didn’t think it would take this long.” She laughs as she places her hand on her hips, and I’m still stuck staring at her—unable to believe my eyes.
“Lilly?” I ask again.
“Yes, Assassin! Now come kiss me. I’ve been waiting a long time for it.”
Finally released from my spot, I rush to her, grab her by the waist and lift her off the ground spinning her around. She giggles at my enthusiasm. I allow her body to slide down my front until her feet touch the ground.
“I love you, little human.”
I pull her face to mine and devour her lips in a kiss so deep it robs me of sight and sound. I get lost in her lips and her embrace. Her fingers dig into the hair at the back of my neck and I deepen the kiss more. Eight years’ worth of kisses we were robbed of are now being exchanged between us. Eight years’ worth of love that I wanted to show her is now released in the way I hold her body to mine.
I reluctantly pull away from her, allowing her to breathe as I touch my forehead to hers.
“How?” I ask.
I was not complaining, I just wanted to know to whom I owed this miracle. I saw her body disappear, I know she died.
“I left the elven kingdom with a little surprise that night. All the nausea and the stomach flutters had nothing to do with stress. I died, but our son brought me back.”
I kiss her forehead and turn to my son. He is my hero. I open my arms for him, he hesitates for only a second before he runs into them wrapping his arms around my neck.
“Papa!” He squeals as I bury my face in his neck and hug him tight. I am overwhelmed with joy.
“You came! Mama and Uncle Buddy always said you would.” Nashir whispers in my ear.
I clutch him tighter, not even considering that I may be hurting him. “Your uncle and mother was right, son. I love you.” I tell him. “Before I even knew you existed, I loved you.” I pull back and look at him. He is the exact replica of Lilly and I. No wonder he had looked so familiar. “Your brothers are going to be so happy to see you.”
The boy smiles and hugs me tight again.
“And I can’t wait to see them.” Lilly adds, wrapping
her arms around me from behind. “Let’s go home, Azriel!”
I turn my head to look at her. Her lovely face smiling back at me.
“What about your family here? If I am to keep you with me for as long as I live, Lilly, you can never come back to this realm. If you wish to live a human life, I will bring the boys to you and we can live here together.”
Her brows bunch together. “You would do that? You would give up the Locke to be with me?”
While still holding my son, I use my free hand to pull her face to mine for a quick kiss. “I will do anything to be with you.” If that meant giving up my kingdom and living a short mortal life here with Lilly, I would do it without pause.
Lilly smiles. “I’ve had many years with my family. Now I want my forever with you. Take us home.”
Without a seconds delay, I wrap my arms around half of my little family and trace them back to the Locke.
***********
(Avalia)
The banquet hall erupts into laughter as Hyland retells the story of when he met Lilly. This year, like every year, everyone came out to attend the big celebration feast thrown at my home. And like always, his absence seems to be the only thing I can focus on.
I smile as Miriam rubs her extended belly and gazes lovingly up at Hyland. This is their first child. They are having a girl, they will name her Lilly. I admire their love. It seems that the remarkable human didn’t just bring peace to the Locke, but also love. I look at all the relationships that Lilly, in some way, inspired; Hyland and Miriam, Drago and Medina, Oden and Karima, even Rykan can contribute his marriage to Millie to Lilly. It seems she was able to mend many hearts, except mine. I look away from the couples.
I, of all people, had the most reasons to dislike Lilly. She was the one that would have the heart of the man I loved. The man that I thought I would always love.
