by Karen DuBose
She laughs out loud. Man, I love her laugh. “That may be true, but I want to settle down before I raise a family. What about you? Do you want to have babies?”
“I would someday. Like you, I want to settle down as well.” I’m about to try and ask her out when we hear someone coming. Great! We both turn to see who it is.
Ida comes walking into view. “Oh, hey guys! Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
I think to myself, Oh yes you were, but that’s the story of my lifecycle.
Delfina looks over at me. “I guess not. What’s up? Is Runes awake?”
Ida shakes her head no. Her brown curly hair bounces with each shake. “Not the last time I checked. I wish she was so I can play with her. She is so dang cute. Don’t you think?”
Delfina smiles at her friend. “She is adorable but a handful. I think I’m the only one who thinks that way. Maybe it’s because I’m not ready for the responsibilities.”
Ida looks at her like she has lost her mind. “How are you not ready to settle down? I’ve been dreaming for years to finally have a family of my own. It could be because I’m thirty cycles older than you.”
A sad look crosses Delfina’s eyes and it breaks my heart. “It will happen when it does. I’m in no hurry. If you both will excuse me, I have a few things to do before they wake up.”
I didn’t want her to leave. I stand up when she does and touch her shoulder. “Would you like some help? I have nothing to do.” Please say yes.
She smiles at me. “Sure, I would like that.”
I think my heart just about came out of my chest. Play it, cool man, play it cool. “Lead the way, my lady.” I bow at the waist.
Delfina giggles and turns and walks back to the cabin. I can’t help but enjoy the view from here. Her butt is perfectly round. I’m so absorbed in looking at her, I almost walk right into her when she stops. She turns around and gives me a startled look.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were that close. Would you like to get something to eat before we start?”
If I didn’t know her face so well, I would have missed the blush in her cheeks. Smiling at her, I nod my head. “Yes, that sounds wonderful. What exactly are we going to be doing?”
I guess I should have asked that before I committed to this, then again, I still would have helped. “Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know. We will be doing laundry and making sure Runes has clean and dry swaddles. She gets cranky when she is soiled.”
I never knew having a baby was this much work. “Sounds fun,” I lie. At least I will be around her so it should be interesting.
She gives me a smirk. “You’re a bad liar. You can back out if you want, I will understand.”
Walking up to her, where we are only we few inches apart I say, “I don’t back down from something I say I will help with.” The energy that’s between us is almost addicting. I wish I could kiss her right now.
The moment is lost when we hear Xian call her name from the back porch.
“There you are. I thought you bailed on me.”
Delfina’s look changes to confusion before she turns to face where Xian’s voice came from. “I’ll be right there. I’m going to make Cicero and me something to eat.”
She turns without looking at me again. Why did she look so confused? I watch her walk away before I get the courage to follow. I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t even know what I did.
I take my time following her. I want to give her some space. Did she know I wanted to kiss her? Is that why she looked that way? Does she not like me in that way? Some many questions. Sometimes being a man sucks.
I walk through the back door she left open. I stop just inside. She is leaning on the counter waiting for me. She looks angry for some reason.
“Ok look! Maybe I’m reading you wrong. It wouldn’t be the first.” She stops to gather her courage to finish. I’m frozen in place waiting for her to finish. “I thought you liked me?”
I can’t even speak I’m in so much shock. I thought I was hiding my feelings pretty well.
“I-I-I.” How can I tell her how much I really do like her?
She sighs heavily. “I get it. I know we aren’t true mates. I’m sorry for even saying anything.” She starts to walk away. I can’t have that. I need to tell her. I take long strides to her. I turn her around and kiss her.
At first, she didn’t do anything. After a few more seconds, she relaxes into me and kisses me back. I felt my dragon rumble in response. I back her up against the wall and show her just how much I do like her with that one kiss.
Cautiously pulling away from her, I look at her face. Her eyes are still closed. Our breathing is heavy and all I want to do is kiss her again. I want to make sure she was ok with the first kiss before I do it again. She slowly flutters her eyes open.
She gives me one look before she brings me down for another kiss. This time it’s passionate and slow. I savor every bit of it. That is until Teagan comes through the door, breaking the mood.
“You guys need to get a room. Oh, and it’s about time. I couldn’t take you two anymore. I was going to push you two together if you didn’t do it yourselves. I’ve never seen two clueless people in my life.”
I groan in frustration. “Man! Really? Your kind of ruining this moment.”
He looks at me, giving me an evil smirk. “This is why I said you guys need a room. This wouldn’t have happened. Now, I hate to break you two up, but Bruno needs to see all of us. He has some news to tell us.
I look at her. “Go, I will get by without your help. Besides that, this is more important than washing swaddles. I will see you later.” She stands on her tippy toes and kisses me one last time before I head out with Teagan. I kiss her back wanting to just stay here, but I know she is right.
“I will be back soon.”
As I turn to leave, my heart stays with her.
Chapter Seventeen
Aidian
I’ve asked myself this a million times. Why don’t I feel worthy of being bonded to Dariya? She has a whole future ahead of her. What do I have to offer her? I’ve been a fuck up all my life. I wasn’t even bonded to my dragon until recently.
I don’t even know what Bruno see’s in me. When he asked me to be on his team, I took it hoping it would bring something into my lifecycle that I could be proud of. I just feel like a fake.
The first day being on the team, I was excited. Until Rome asked Bruno what the hell I was doing there. I didn’t belong on the team and that I couldn’t be trusted. I should have left that day, but Bruno wouldn’t let me. He told me not to worry about Rome, he says that about everyone. Maybe he is right, I don’t belong here.
“Hey! Dariya is looking for you.” I take a deep sigh. I’m sure she has sensed my feelings. Without turning around or looking I say, “Thank you Desiray. I will go to her soon.”
I sense her coming closer to me. She places a hand on my shoulder. “Are you ok? You haven’t been acting like your normal self in the last few days?”
What is my normal self anymore? “Yes, I’m good. Just got a lot on my mind. Thank you for asking.” I hope that gives her the hint I don’t want to talk about it.
“Ok! If you need anyone to talk to or hang out with, I’m here. We don’t even need to talk.”
If she knew how deep I am right now, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me. “Thanks, I will keep that in mind.” I would never bring someone like her into my world. She would drown in misery. She is too sweet and loving for that. I would never forgive myself if I did that to her.
She hesitates before she turns to leave. It’s for the best. I sit here for a little while longer before I go to see Dariya. I need to get my emotions under control before I do. She will know right off the bat something is up. I don’t need her to worry about me either because she has a family to take care of.
When I know I have most of them under control, I stand up. Looking to the sky I send up a prayer that I am able to hide them enough to not wor
ry her.
Stepping over the log I was sitting on, I head toward the cabin as slowly as I can. In all honesty, I’m not ready to face her. She is the one person I look up to and respect. I don’t want her to see the real me; the one who isn’t worthy of even being in her presence.
The cabin comes into view a lot faster than I want. I stare up at the window-- I know where Dariya is. I suck in a breath and work myself up to go see her. I know I can’t hide anything from her.
Walking toward the cabin, I walk up the stairs. I know if I don’t do this now, I will flee. Taking a step on the porch, the door swings open. Kiernan is standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. “Dariya asked me to come to get you. She says there is something up with you and she wants to talk to you alone.”
I bow my head. I knew I couldn’t keep things from her. She has a way of knowing everything. “I was just heading up to see her.”
He moves to the side to let me pass. Before I can get all the way through, he places a hand on my arm. “I don’t know what you are going through. I hope she can help. We need you. You’re a part of this family. Don’t ever forget that.”
He removes his hand and I look at him. I don’t say anything, I nod and walk the rest of the way in. I stare at the stairs leading up to Dariya. How can I explain the feelings I’ve been having or anything else for that matter?
I get the courage to go up. It’s better to not worry her. As I walk up the stairs, fear takes over. I don’t know where it even came from. I stop halfway up and I’m rooted where I stand. I can hear my name being called, but I can’t say anything in return.
What the hell is wrong with me? I feel a hand on my arm. I look up and see Dariya staring at me. I feel the fear wash away. “You’re ok. I got you. Come on let’s go upstairs.”
I keep staring at her. How does she not see how broken I am? She holds my arm in hers and leads the way. I can’t keep my eyes off her. How did she get the fear to ease?
We walk into the room and she lets my arm go to shut the door behind us. “Take a seat. We have a lot to talk about.”
How is she acting so calm? I do as she says and the further away from her I get the fear starts to come back. She must sense it and comes toward me. “What’s going on with me?”
She gives a sad smile. “That’s what we are going to figure out. Now tell me what has you this upset?”
I don’t even think. I just tell her everything. Not even stopping to see what she thinks about any of it. She doesn’t interrupt me either. When I’m finally done, I wait for her to tell me to leave and never come back.
“Let me get this straight so I know I understand. You think because you had a bad past and you think you’re a fuck up, you don’t belong here?”
I don’t look at her, I don’t want to see how angry she is with me. I nod my head in response.
“Aidian look at me.” I reluctantly look up. “I have never seen you as anything but willing, caring, and a part of this family. Rome wasn’t right and he will tell you that himself. You do belong to this family. I know you feel broken and I’m here to tell and show you, you’re not. You haven’t given me any reason for you not to be here. Don’t let the past bring you down. You’re not the person you used to be and those demons inside you are trying to make you think you are.”
She doesn’t understand. I thought for sure she would be the one person to understand.
“I do understand.” Did she just read my mind? “I’m telling you, you’re not that person anymore. Look at what you have accomplished. Look at the family you gained. If you were still the person you were back then, do you think you would have any of this?”
I put my head into my hands. I’ve never been a crier. Once the truth hit me, I began to shed tears. How could I have been so stupid? She is right. I’ve gained so much that I can be proud of. Then why do I feel the way I do?
I feel her arms wrap around me, making me cry even harder. “I’m sorry for letting you down,” I say between sobs.
Lifting my chin up, she looks into my eyes. “I’ve felt the same way too, you know. I didn’t think I deserved any of you or Runes. I know the doubt that can creep up. Just remember you are not alone and don’t ever have to be. You can stay here as long as you like, but if I don’t get my butt back in that bed before Oceana comes back, she will have both of our butts in a sling.”
I actually laugh because I know she is right. “Thank you. If you don’t mind, I would like to stay for a little bit. I will keep out of the way.”
She stands up and gives me her hand. “Non-sense. Come see your niece. She has been waiting for you too.”
This takes me by surprise. How can she even know me? “Don’t be surprised. She remembers all of your voices.”
Getting up, I slowly walk over to Runes. When I get to her crib I look inside. There she is staring right at me. I’m nervous when I speak to her. “Do you remember me there, sweetie?”
Her little lips curve into a smile. Her stare captivates me. It’s like she is searching for something inside of me. When I hear her cry, I step back from the crib afraid I’ve upset her.
Dariya stands beside me. “She wants you to hold her. You were taking too long to pick her up.”
Looking over at her, she just smiles and nudges me to go pick her up. I slowly move back toward the crib. Runes is smiling at me again. I reach down hesitant to pick her up. I’ve never held a baby before. I look to Dariya for advice.
“Put one hand behind her head and the other under her butt and pick her up.” I do as instructed. When I get her over the crib, I don’t know how I’m supposed to hold her and again I look to Dariya. “Place her head in the cress in your arm.” She demonstrates it for me. I gently place her little head there.
As soon as I do, I’m bombarded with memories. Not my own, but Runes. I can hear everything she was able to hear while in the womb. When I hear my voice, she plays it on repeat. “You have one amazing little girl in there.” I’m once again in the room holding her.
I’m speechless. How could she have heard us? I look down at her. “You are an amazing little girl. I will protect you in every way possible. That I promise you.”
Dariya walks over to us with a smile. “I told you she remembers you. Now, do you believe me when I say you are not the man you once were?”
Not taking my eyes off Runes, I nod my agreement. I walk over to the rocker in the corner of the room and sit down. How can this little girl steal my heart so quickly? I start to rock her and she falls asleep in my arms. I’m too scared to move, I don’t want to wake her up. I look up to find Dariya is fast asleep too.
I hear the door creak open. Kiernan pops his head in. In a hushed voice, I say, “I see she has stolen your heart as well. What are we men going to do?”
I shrug. I don’t dare speak. “You can talk in a hushed voice. She won’t wake up.”
He walks the rest of the way in. “You feeling better man? I could tell something was eating at you.”
“I think I am or I will be. I can say one thing. You, my sir, have an amazing family. I hope to one day have something like this too.”
He smiles down at me. “I have a feeling you will. Keep faith. I didn’t think I would either and look.” He gestures to them both. “I would do it all again if I had to.”
I get that. I hope I can say the same when it comes time.
He walks over to the bed and gently kisses Dariya on the forehead.
“Don’t be too long. I hear Bruno wants to see all of us about something. Hopefully, he has news that will help or that he has located Kelso.”
That would be great. I hate being sitting ducks. “Let me know when I need to go. I would like to stay here. I don’t want this to sound like I’m creepier. But they ground me. I don’t know what is going on with me and I hate that I need them. I swear to you, I will figure this out.”
He looks at me with concern. “We will figure this out. You’re not alone. We’re all here to help. You’re not the only one feeling this way
. I believe there is something at play here. I just don’t know who yet.”
If I wasn’t already sitting, I would have fallen. This means there is nothing wrong with me. Well, my own doing. I will kill whoever is doing this to us. “Does Bruno think he knows who is doing this?” My anger soars with each passing second until Runes moves in my arms.
I look down at her and my anger is gone. Not even a trace of it is there. “How are you doing this little one?” It amazes me how this little bundle can do some much and can control us.
“She doesn’t like it when people get angry. I don’t know how many times she has taken my anger away too.”
Turning my head slowly toward him I smile. “How is it possible, that she can do all of this?”
Kiernan chuckles. “I have no clue. To tell you the truth it scares the hell out of me.”
“I get it, man. She isn’t even mine and I’m worried about her.”
He nods his head. “I will come to get you when Bruno is ready to talk to us.”
He leaves the room. The silence is almost deafening. Looking down at Runes brings peace to my soul. I don’t know how or why, but I’m thankful.
I sure hope Bruno has answers we all want to hear. We need good news before we all get stir crazy. Not knowing what is about to happen or when is driving us all to the edge.
I lean my head back and close my eyes. Maybe if I actually rest, it will help. I don’t think I got much sleep in the last month. Every time I start to fall asleep all I see is blood. Maybe with Runes in my arms, I will be able to sleep for once.
Just as I’m drifting off to sleep. I feel Runes being taken out of my arms. I’m too drowsy to stop it. It’s like I’ve been put under a spell or something. The last thing I remember hearing is, “You’re safe here. Sleep and when you wake, everything will be as is.”
Chapter Eighteen
Alums
I go looking for Saffron. My dragon has marked her as my mate. I’m afraid she will reject me if she knew. I try playing it cool around her because I don’t want to scare her away.
