by Zoe Dawson
It took her a moment to raise herself up, clutching the sheet to her breasts. She looked toward the kitchen, and Austin was in there in nothing but those sexy gray pants, his hair tousled. He was pouring coffee into two mugs, situating them on one of her decorative trays, and he added what looked like…pastries.
Her stomach grumbled. But Austin was what looked good enough to eat.
His expression softened into an intimate half smile when he saw her. “Hello there, sleepyhead.”
She pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around them. Wishing he would come close enough for her to touch him, she smiled.
“Why are you way over there? I can’t reach anything I want.”
He stared at her a moment, then shook his head and chuckled, coming across the room. “You’re incorrigible.”
“No. I’m hungry.”
“I went out and grabbed some Danish.” He got to the bed and knelt on it, careful not to spill the coffee. He had set a little creamer on the tray, too. Warmed that he remembered how she liked her coffee, she reached for him first. Caught the back of his head and kissed him. He sighed into her mouth and pressed his forehead against hers.
“Incorrigible, I like that.”
He sighed again. “I like that, too.”
Experiencing a strange, quivery feeling, she stared into his eyes. Reality checked in, and she thought about what had happened between her and Austin, how up in the air everything was, but she couldn’t regret one moment of this morning. But she wasn’t sure where that left them.
Closing her eyes, she tightened her grip on him, feeling as if she was caught in the current of a rushing river, struggling to keep from going under. Part of her was so damned uncertain. And the other part of her didn’t want to think about it—it was just too important to start dissecting. But after what had happened in this bed, she couldn’t exactly ignore it, either. Only the thought of getting real with Austin scared her to death. What could she say without diminishing it? Because she knew it wasn’t just casual sex for either one of them.
It was real, and it was honest. And it had so many complications tied to it, she couldn’t even think about them. But the straightforward, direct person in her could not leave their involvement unexplored. As much as she dreaded it, they were going to have to talk about it.
But Austin didn’t seem inclined to right now, and she let her breath go in a rush. He fixed her coffee, handed it to her and reclined next to her, pulling her into his arms. They ate Danish and listened to the wind howl outside.
“How long have you been divorced from the ambassador?”
This was a volatile subject and not just because if things hadn’t gone so wrong at the embassy, she might have gone much further with Austin, broken her vows, something she would never have even thought about before she’d met him. She constantly wondered if it had been the situation that had kept her from cheating. She wasn’t proud of that, but guiltily, she couldn’t regret it.
“Nine months. I was separated for six months and have been divorced for three. It was a hard transition going from a houseful of people and activity to being alone. I think that’s why I jumped at the chance to come here and get to know Sarah better. We had a nice time of it. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
He tightened his arm around her briefly, stroking down her arm. “I know about that loneliness.” His voice was soft. “I know I crossed the line back then and, for my part, I should be sorry, but I can’t seem to be. What happened to make you so unhappy? I had half a mind to throttle him, thinking he was abusing you. I would probably have been court-martialed, but it would have been worth it.”
“He was, I guess. It just didn’t leave bruises on the outside.”
He turned to look at her with an expression that told her he was sorry he hadn’t kicked her ex-husband’s ass.
“He refused to have children with me.” She took a bite of her pastry, then a few sips of coffee. “As soon as we were married, he took control of my life, and I let him. It was a gradual thing until I had lost all my power. When I tried to fight back, he would punish me. I wouldn't put it past him to refuse me a child because I had become unruly.”
"I'm sorry, Jenna. You got out, though. You had the courage to divorce him.”
She nodded. “You never got married?”
“No, got engaged to Melanie, but then I joined NCIS, and she wasn’t on board with that. Was livid, in fact. She didn’t want me to live for my job—wanted me to make her the priority.”
“Sounds like she was selfish to me. Anyone who even knew you for half a second would know that when you invest in a relationship, it is important to you.”
He stared at her.
“Am I wrong? Do I have Danish on my face?”
He shrugged. “You’re not wrong. That’s just the thing.” He shifted so he could look her in the eyes. “It was that she was so close-minded about it, and I really wanted the job. I had to accept then that I must not be as invested in our relationship as I thought I was. In fact, I think I asked her to marry me just because it seemed like the next step. But she wanted me to be a lawyer, and I wanted to continue to serve. It was then I realized I was royally pissed at her for giving me such a hard time about being in the Marines. I wanted to make a career out of it. After some distance, I realized I’d made a mistake. I should have stayed in.”
“Why didn’t you just reenlist?”
He shrugged. “It seemed like the time had passed for that path, and I was being called to duty by NCIS. I haven’t regretted a moment of it. I’ve made a difference, and I feel good about that.”
“Are you married to your job, then?”
“Not exactly. It’s a give-and-take, but if I had someone to come home to, I might be more inclined not to burn the midnight oil.”
The sound of his voice and her desire for the same thing dropped on her like a ton of bricks. She glanced at him, but he was polishing off his Danish and didn’t look at her. She couldn’t read too much into those words. He was just talking.
“Jenna, I think we need to talk about this thing between us.”
She set her empty cup on the tray with a thump. She stared at him for a moment. “I know. But I don’t want to pick it apart, Austin. I feel something for you, and you feel something for me.”
“It’s not that simple. I’m working on a case that directly involves your family member, we have a past and if my boss finds out I’m sleeping with you…Jesus.” He ran his hand through his hair.
“We won’t tell her, Austin. It’s our business. Sure, we have a past, and we have some things we need to work through and figure out, but I want to do that. You have a life in San Diego, and I have one in DC. We have limited time together—do we have to be rational and serious?”
His expression changing again, he reached down and cupped her jaw, running his thumb along her bottom lip. His eyes were dark and shadowed, but she could see the hunger in them. “I’m a realist,” he said, his voice gruff. He caressed her mouth again. “I understand what you want to do, but we’ll have to face whatever comes. I just don’t want to be blindsided, and I don’t want to freaking take advantage of you.”
She couldn’t help but smile through this serious conversation. “Were you there this morning when I seduced you?”
He released a breath on a half laugh. “Right, and, lady, you did a thorough job of it.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I’m serious about this. I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m not keen on getting hurt, either.
“I don’t want that, either. But can’t we just enjoy this for as long as we can? Save the big decisions for later?”
He closed his eyes and pulled her close. She slid her arm around his waist, and her eyes burned as he caught her up in a fierce hold, his face turned against hers. “All right. I’m apparently weak when it comes to you. I can’t resist this…or you,” he whispered.
She wanted time with him to discover exactly what had driven them six years ago. But a little voice whisp
ered in her head, you’re afraid, as the wind whipped up into a frenzy and blew hard and hot against the complex. She shivered and he drew the covers up over her shoulders.
Or maybe it was because she might discover something she couldn’t live without, like falling in love with Austin.
Chapter Eight
When Austin opened his eyes again, it was midmorning. His cell phone buzzed, and he carefully reached for it so as not to disturb Jenna’s soft warm body against him. He could die right now a happy man. “Beck,” he said.
“Hey there, Austin,” Drea said. “I have secured transport to the USS Bradley Jones, part of the ninth carrier wing that’s currently docked in the San Diego Bay. They have a small window to refuel and restock as well as some shore leave for their sailors. The chopper will be there at fifteen hundred hours to fly you over and back for your interview with Lieutenant Benjamin Torres. Torres and Captain Noah Dahl are expecting you.”
“Got it.”
“The chopper will pick you up from the base, so just show your badge at the gate for entrance. Someone will be there to drive you to the runway.”
“Did anyone tell you that you make a passable probie, Agent Hall?”
“With all due respect, Agent Beck, stuff it.”
He chuckled, and she hung up. He really liked that girl and looked forward to meeting her in person. The smile died on his face when he looked down at Jenna again. Jesus, what a freaking mess he was in, right up to his eyeballs. There was such a crap storm of issues between him and this beautiful, seductive, and determined woman. All he could do right now was just stare at her. The sheets were pushed off her upper body and her creamy skin glowed, her breasts rounded and tipped with blush-pink nipples.
Just looking at her made him hard. Who was he kidding? The thought of her made him hard.
There was a time just after the embassy takeover, when he was recovering at Walter Reed, when if he even smelled the scent of jasmine, he’d be transported back to that night in the helicopter when she’d pressed her hands on his wound. She’d looked into his eyes as if she was trying to transport her thoughts into his brain. He remembered he’d wanted to hold on to that moment, but it had slipped away and had left him feeling hollow and guilty.
But then she shifted, and the past disappeared into nothing but smoky streamers. Rehashing what happened only made him want to understand what was happening here. They were caught up in this temporary situation. He would eventually solve this murder. His determination to find Sarah’s killer settled in him with purpose. He wanted justice for Sarah and peace of mind for Jenna. He wasn’t sure what else he could give her, but he was sure that solving Sarah’s murder was a foregone conclusion.
As he stared down at her, mesmerized by a face that had haunted his dreams, the craving for her grew beyond his control. He slid down, getting closer to her face, leaned over and brushed a light kiss against her temple. She stirred, and he watched her face change from indicating a peaceful sleep to a sated expression.
Learning Jenna’s morning faces could become one of his most favorite pastimes. He leaned over again, this time homing in on her mouth. She sighed heavily and kissed him back, her mouth languorous and sweet.
“You taste good,” she said, mirroring his thoughts.
“I bet you taste better,” he murmured against her mouth, then bit her jaw, trailing his tongue down her neck to the soft hollow of her throat. He pressed several kisses there, then moved down to the tip of one breast.
She made a soft sound when he sucked and her eyes opened, sleepy and dazed with desire. She clasped his head and tangled her fingers in his hair. Before he knew it, she was straddling him, leaning over him, giving him access to more of her skin.
He looked up, something painful happening around his heart as he took all of her in. Sliding his hand down to her waist then in between them, she cried out when he found her wet and soft. “Austin,” she whispered.
He took her nipple deep in an open-mouthed kiss that made her buck against his fingers; he was tormenting her with the tip of his tongue, back and forth until she was gasping. When she came with a soft cry, her hips rocking, he grabbed her waist, and before she was even finished with the pulsing sensations of her orgasm, he entered her to the hilt.
She moaned and her hips surged against his groin. Closing his eyes against the onslaught of sensation, Austin turned his face against her and wrapped his arm around her lower back, pumping into her without pausing, the sound of their flesh slapping echoing in the room, mixing with the whine of the wind.
He grasped a handful of her hair, clenching his jaw against the raw and chaotic need breaking loose inside him. Inhaling raggedly, he clutched at her. She collapsed her upper body on top of his, still moving with a wild abandon. She left a trail of hot, wet kisses on his face down to his throat. Another tremor shredded through her, and she rose up, taking him deep inside her. He was naked, unprotected, and deeply lost.
His skin slick, Austin’s face contorted in an agony of pleasure. The Santa Anas blew as hot as the inside of the room, as hot as their slick bodies moving in harmony, the electrifying surge of sensation tingling along his skin causing a frenzy in his chest, his pulse thick and heavy. He threaded his fingers through hers in a white-knuckled grip, turning his head against the pillow. Bending over him, her breasts grazing his chest, she whispered, “Austin…Austin.” Another shudder coursed through her, and she tightened her hold on his hands, her breath catching as she flexed her hips, her hot, wet tightness gripping him, stroking him, drawing him closer and closer.
An agony of sensation shot through him, and he rolled his head again, the cords of his neck tightening, and he sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. She moved and it sent a shock wave of heat through him, as if the Santa Anas were now locked in every cell of his body and he was as insubstantial against them, the sensation sizzling like a thousand caresses against his skin.
Unable to control the urge, he rose, flipping her onto her back, giving in to the need to be in control, to take her, to growl like he was a savage. Her mouth, hot and urgent against his, sent a bolt of pure, raw sensation and made the vortex of need tighten like a vise. Austin shuddered, and widened his mouth against her, feeding on the desperation that poured back and forth between them. She made another wild sound and clutched at him, the movement welding their bodies together like two halves of a whole, and he lost himself completely in her.
The heat of her, the feel of her, the weight of her. He needed her like this, craved her losing it, along with him. Grasping her buttocks, he thrust again and again, a low groan wrenched from him as she moved with him, riding him.
Making incoherent sounds against his mouth, Jenna sobbed out his name and locked her legs around him, her movements urging him on, and Austin crushed her against him, white-hot desire rolling over him. Angling his arm under her back, he drove into her again and again, pressure building and building. A low guttural sound was torn from him, and his release came in a blinding rush that went on and on, so powerful he felt as if he was being remade.
Instead of letting it roll over him and take him beyond the moment, he fought against the pleasure to keep moving, to give her what she needed, and his fight wasn’t in vain. She cried out and clutched at his back, then went rigid in his arms, convulsing around him.
His heart hammering, his breathing so labored he felt almost dizzy, he weakly rested his head against hers, his whole body quivering.
Bathed in sweat, their bodies slick and moist against each other, Austin held himself above her, still deep inside her. When he opened his eyes, she was staring up at him, her eyes open and intimately warm. Her hand came up and rubbed against the stubble on his face.
“Austin.” She breathed his name in a voice that reflected the look on her face. “That hasn’t happened to me before, ever.”
He closed his eyes and rolled, bringing her with him. “First for me, too. Jenna, I think you’ve ruined me.”
“I could say the same thing
about you.” She turned and draped herself limply across his chest. “When can we do it again?”
He threw his head back, his spine arching as he burst into laughter. “Can I get five minutes?”
“What,” she whined, her breathing still rough, “that long?”
He hugged her hard, and she kissed him just as hard. “You look like a desperado with that shadowed jaw,” she said, running her forefinger over his stubble.
“You look thoroughly and completely done, lady.”
She smiled in such a sated way, he kissed her again.
Then she sobered. “You’ve got to go?”
“Yeah. I’ve got an interview on the USS Bradley Jones with Lieutenant Benjamin Torres, a pilot who’s in Sarah’s contacts, and I think she might have been involved with him.”
“You do?” She frowned. “Sarah mentioned him a few times. Said he was a friend and that she flew with him on carrier missions. She also said he’d rushed the Blue Angels but didn’t get a slot. If she was involved with him, she didn’t give it away.”
“When do you have to be at the library?”
“Not until one-thirty. I’m closing tonight.”
“When do you get off?”
“Other than just a few moments ago?”
He chuckled. “From your job, babe.”
“Oh, that.”
He kissed her on the end of her nose. “Yeah, that.”
“Seven, but I have to clean up and shut off all the equipment and lights, so I’ll be ready about seven-fifteen.”
“How about I drop you off on my way out to the base and pick you up for dinner tonight? I’ll fill you in on how it went and we can talk some more about this…thing that’s going on.”
She folded her arms across her chest and smiled. “If that will make you feel more comfortable. Okay.”
“Jenna, I want us to both feel comfortable.”
She caressed his face. “I know you do, and I appreciate that. So how about a shower? Oh, wait, you need a change of clothes.”
