by Alys West
“Sure. That’d be grand. But aren’t you really busy with wedding stuff?”
“I’ll be pleased to get out of the house. I only got here yesterday evening but all Gran talks about is flower arrangements. Some genius—” he scowled at his cousin’s back as he and the other men continued up the street “—put her and her friends in charge of decorating the Cathedral.”
“Kenny’s getting married at St Magnus?” Jenna couldn’t hide her surprise.
“Yes, I know.” Hal laughed. “He’d have been happy with the registry office but Amy wanted the full works. Her parents live in Kirkwall now so her dad had a word and before Kenny knew what was happening it’d turned into the wedding of the year. Ceremony at St Magnus, reception at The Skerries Hotel in St Ola. Most of South Ronaldsay and half of the Mainland are coming from what I can tell.”
“When is it? I’ll have to pop by. I can’t miss the chance to see Kenny in his wedding finery.”
Hal wrinkled his nose. “Not just Kenny.”
“You mean…” She trailed off, unable to form the words despite the picture her mind had instantly conjured of him in a kilt.
“Yep, full Orkney tartan. Being half English wasn’t enough to get me out of it.”
“This I have to see!” She was laughing with him but clouding the image was the picture-perfect shape of Cassie, who would look like a super model in wedding clothes.
“I’m one of the ushers so you’ll have plenty of chance. I’m told my duties involve standing by the door handing out hymn books and showing guests to their seats.”
“I bet Cassie’s looking forward to it.” She had to say it. She had to get the name out sooner or later. But the laughter fell from Hal’s face and he looked away.
“She’s not here.”
“Is she coming next week? I guess it must be difficult for her getting time off work but with you moving here, I thought…”
“We’re not.” The emphasis was clear but she couldn’t believe it.
“Is Cassie staying in Toronto? Are you going to go back and forth? Do the whole long-distance thing?” It hurt too much to think of that. They’d tried it. Edinburgh and Orkney didn’t sound that unworkable. And perhaps it wouldn’t have been if she’d talked to him, if she’d not completely frozen him out.
“We split up.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Even as the expected words left her tongue, there was an explosion of thoughts in her head. Was it recent? Was it permanent? Did it mean… But no, she couldn’t think of that. Not yet. Not until she knew more. “When? What happened?”
“This. The move. She didn’t want to come.”
“Hal!” Kenny’s voice echoed along the length of Broad Street. “Come on Captain Sensible, stop chatting up girls and get down here!”
As they turned to look, Jenna felt the heat rush up her cheeks.
“That’s Kenny for you.” Hal ducked his head. “Subtle as a bulldozer.”
Jenna forced a laugh. “Why does he call you that?”
“Captain Sensible? Because I was always the one doing the right thing when we were kids. He knows I hated it.”
“You’d better go. Before he yells any more insults at you.”
“I guess.” His hand returned to its earlier spot but their bodies had moved closer. “About those tunes?”
“Do you want to come round?”
“Tomorrow any good for you?”
Jenna glanced up at him. She’d forgotten how very tall he was. “Are you sure you won’t be nursing the most almighty hangover?”
“Probably. Let’s leave it ‘til the evening. About seven? I should have sobered up by then.”
“I’ll have some coffee ready, just in case.”
She didn’t want to let him go. Not yet. Not after so long. She said the first thing that came into her head. “What have you got planned for Kenny?”
He leaned down until his mouth was next to her ear. His breath smelled of beer but she didn’t mind. His closeness was as intoxicating as a single malt. “Nothing that I can tell a nice girl like you about.”
The heat reappeared on her cheeks. “Tarring?” she asked, referring to the Orcadian custom of tying up the groom and covering him a variety of evil smelling liquids before throwing flour, eggs, feathers and anything else that would stick at him.
“That’s only half of it.”
“Oh! Well, erm…have fun.”
The slow smile that always made her heart stutter lit up his face. “We will.” His gaze held hers for a moment longer than was necessary. Then his arm fell back to his side as he moved away. “What you doing tonight?”
She couldn’t tell him she was going home to spend an evening watching Netflix. Pretty much as she did every Saturday. “I’m meeting Winston,” she said quickly. “He’s an archaeologist.” Why on earth had she added that? Winston was the sexiest man she knew and she’d made him sound as dull as repeats of Time Team.
“Have a good time,” he called over his shoulder.
Jenna couldn’t hide her grin as she started walking. He was single again. And he was coming to live in Orkney. That changed everything.
***
By half-past six on Sunday, Jenna had cleaned and tidied her flat, been to Tesco for drinks, baked chocolate brownies and tuned her fiddle. With only thirty minutes before Hal was due to arrive, she retreated into her bedroom and opened the wardrobe doors. Why did she keep half of this? It wasn’t as if she could get into it anymore. Tugging her best jeans on, she found a smart top and then took it off because it looked like she was trying too hard. Rummaging around she found a bright red blouse that she used to love. These days she couldn’t fasten it over her chest but with a vest top underneath that didn’t matter. After putting on some makeup and brushing her hair, she frowned at herself in the mirror.
Back when she and Hal had been in Parcel of Rogues together she’d never worried about what she wore to band practice. Even in those last few months when they’d actually been an item, they’d always been too easy together for her to feel insecure about clothes. But it was different now. He’d been away for a long time. Was it wrong to want to look her best? Deciding the vest top was too clingy and revealed rolls of flab she’d much rather hide, she was looking for something else when the doorbell rang.
A flutter of excitement filled her stomach and made her chest feel tight. When she opened the door, Hal looked pale and tired. He was wearing a chunky woollen jumper and jeans and held a familiar battered guitar case in one hand.
“Good night?” she asked.
“It was. But next time anyone invites me to a stag do, remind me that jet lag and hangovers don’t mix,” he said, as he stepped inside. “I’ll be alright. I just need more coffee. Gran only has stuff in a jar.”
“I can do better than that.” She gestured for him to come in and he followed her through to the living room-cum-kitchen. She gestured to the shiny chrome coffee machine on the kitchen workbench. “It’s my one luxury. After four years drinking proper coffee when I was running the teashop it was impossible to go back. Latte?”
Putting his guitar case down, he turned to look at her. “Yeah, but go double with the espresso.” His familiar Manchester accent was overlaid with a transatlantic twang which seemed stronger this evening.
“That bad?”
He nodded as he yawned. “I only got up at four.”
“What time did you go to bed?”
“About six this morning.”
“What on earth did you find to do in Kirkwall until that time?”
“We weren’t here all night. A minibus took us around South Ronaldsay. I remember getting back to the farm sometime around two. After that it gets a bit hazy but I do remember there was a lot of whisky involved.”
There was a pause while Jenna ground the coffee beans. When the machine had stopped whirring, she said. “How’s Kenny today?”
“I don’t know. I’ve not seen him. He, his mate, Craig and Uncle Dougie were still going strong when I called
it a night.”
Gathering cups and the plate of brownies onto a tray, Jenna took them through to the sitting area. It was impossible not to see it through Hal’s eyes. Despite the throws she’d tossed over the furniture, it looked shabby and unloved. “Sorry about the state of the place,” she said putting the tray on the coffee table. “I never seem to get round to doing anything about decorating. But then it’s only rented and my furniture’s still in storage in Edinburgh.”
“You think you might go back?”
“I’m trying to. Got to find a job first but I’m applying.” Only she wasn’t sure she wanted to anymore. She needed to be here. To see him, to find out if, despite everything, there was a chance.
“That’s good. Your life has been on hold for too long, Jenna.” Stepping closer, Hal looked down at her.
“I know.”
The intensity of his gaze was impossible to read. His eyes were the pale blue of the sea off Hebridean sands. Only today they were red-rimmed with exhaustion and the after effects of the night before. Feeling suddenly flustered, Jenna held the brownies out to him and said, “Breakfast?”
“Yeah, thanks.” He took one and bit into it. “These are good.”
Trying to hide how pleased she was, Jenna took one herself. “Thanks. It’s Dad’s recipe so I can’t take all the credit.”
“I think you can. I’d forgotten how good you are at this stuff. Cassie can barely boil water most of the time. She makes me look competent in the kitchen.”
The affection with which he spoke of Cassie made the mouthful of brownie she’d swallowed feel like concrete. “So what happened?” Jenna tried to keep her tone neutral. She had no reason to dislike Cassie. Other than the fact she’d been Hal’s girlfriend. And because she was annoyingly skinny and could probably eat brownies all day long without them touching her hips.
“She’s doesn’t want to live in Orkney. That’s the long and the short of it. And I screwed up. I didn’t tell her about the job until they offered it to me. I was trying to do the right thing, trying not to stir up a whole load of fuss if it came to nothing.” He trailed off and Jenna waited. His words came slowly and she’d learned long ago to give him time. “Only she didn’t see it like that. She thought I was shutting her out, that I was trying to get away. It was never that. And if it was anywhere but here I’d have turned it down. But I couldn’t. Not when I’ve always wanted to come back.”
Jenna watched him. It was painfully obvious that he still cared. With anyone else she’d be counselling them to try to patch it up. Only she wasn’t selfless enough for that. Instead, she said carefully, “Orkney’s not for everyone.”
“She says it’s alright for a holiday but there’s no way she could live here. And I get that. She’s from Toronto. You could hardly get somewhere more different.” He looked up, met her eyes. “But this is what I’ve always wanted. I was straight with her about that from the beginning. And when this job came up, I knew I had to go for it.”
“So how have you left it with her?”
“It’s a bit early to say.” Hal studied his coffee cup, running the tip of his finger up and down the handle. “She was really good about it. She didn’t make me move out. I slept in the spare room for the last few weeks. I guess we’ll just have to figure it out from here.”
“Oh.” Jenna took a large gulp of coffee. It was a really recent split. It could take ages for him to get over it. Ages when she should be applying for jobs and planning her future away from here. Was their timing always going to be this off?
“And this is a great job. Atlantis is the biggest wave energy project in the world. If it works, we could be generating electricity for half of Scotland. It’s a chance to be involved in something that could make a real difference in the fight against global warming.”
“I get that. Some opportunities only come along once.” But she wasn’t thinking about jobs.
“Exactly.” Hal rested his forearms on his knees and leaned towards her. “And in a few years, we’d have had kids and we’d have to think about whether it was right to move them. No, it had to be now if I was going to do it.”
Kids. He’d been planning on having children with Cassie. But then he was thirty-four. That was what people did at their age. They settled down and had families.
She blinked. What had Hal said earlier? That she couldn’t put her life on hold forever. Suddenly six and a half years already felt longer than forever.
“I don’t think I’ll talk her round but I’m hoping I might persuade her to come over for a few weeks later in the summer. But before I can do that I’ve got to find somewhere to live. Do you know anyone who’s got a house to rent?” Hal added. “The project’s based in Stromness so anywhere on East Mainland would be fine.”
“I guess I could ask Uncle Andrew?”
“And how is Orkney’s favourite property mogul? Still trying to concrete over half of the Mainland?”
“You won’t believe what he’s up to now.”
“If you mean Nethertown I’ve heard about it.”
“But what is he thinking? Mum fought him every step of the way on that damned proposal. I can’t believe he’s planning to expand it. What he wants to do now is bigger than what he’d originally put forward. Mum would be furious.”
“What happened?” Hal glanced quickly away. “I mean, I know your mum objected but I never knew why he changed the plans.”
Jenna picked a cushion up, held it against her chest and folded her arms over it. “He said it was out of respect for Mum’s memory. He told me that at her funeral. But I found out afterwards that the Council made him scale the whole thing down. It was nothing to do with Mum.”
“You never told me.” Hal looked like he immediately regretted the words but when she met his gaze he added, “At the funeral, I mean. You never told me what he’d said.”
This was the moment. If she was going to explain, she had to make a start. “I know. I’m sorry. There are too many things I didn’t tell you back then.”
Hal took another brownie. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.” As Jenna spoke, Mansie darted through the open door and jumped onto her lap.
Hal scooped Mansie up and with gentle hands turned him so he was cradled in his arms. “You’re a fine-looking lad, aren’t you? What’s your name, hey?”
“Mansie.” She’d forgotten how good he was with animals. The gentleness in his strong hands, the effortless ease with which he made them feel safe with him. He’d done the first two years of a veterinary medicine degree before deciding it wasn’t for him and moving into engineering.
Hal’s gaze met Jenna’s. “Mansie? Seriously?”
“Well, he’s an Orkney cat and I thought Magnus was a bit formal.”
Shaking his head, Hal gently put Mansie back on the sofa between them. “What on earth made you get a cat if you’re not staying?”
Jenna stroked Mansie’s black head. “He needed a home. He was the last of the litter and I couldn’t say no.”
Hal’s fingers found a spot behind the cat’s ears and a deep contented purr rumbled through his body. The cat stretched luxuriantly. The movement dislodged Jenna’s hand and it brushed against Hal’s. As she pulled it away, she couldn’t stop herself looking at him. His eyes met hers, equally startled. Memories pulsed through her brain from a time when touching him hadn’t been out of bounds.
Hal stood. Jenna leaned back and, feeling suddenly ignored, Mansie leapt from the sofa.
“You want to play some tunes then?” Hal said.
“Yes. I’m up for it if you are.” Jenna brushed cat hair from her jeans. “I thought perhaps you were feeling a bit fragile.”
“No, I’m made of tougher stuff than that.” Hal bent to flip the clips on his guitar case and remove the instrument from it.
Jenna picked up her fiddle and leant over, pretending to tune it. The jolt of attraction that had zipped through her was unmistakable. Hal must have felt it too. Hadn’t he?
�
�Start with something easy,” Hal said, when he’d finished tuning. “I’m a bit out of practice.”
“Didn’t you play at all in Toronto?”
“Sometimes but Cassie isn’t a fan of folk music. When I did play it was more the pop stuff she likes.”
“How about this then?” Jenna played the first four bars of the Balmoral Strathspey.
“Okay. If I can’t do that then I should quit now.”
Jenna counted them in making sure to keep the tempo slow. Hal made a couple of mistakes at the beginning but he was soon keeping up with her. She smiled and picked up the tempo a little. He matched her and the music started to flow around them, taking on a life of its own, swirling out into the air and dispelling the tension in the room.
They were soon swapping tunes and playing songs they used to do in the band which resulted in bursts of laughter when they couldn’t remember them. After about an hour, Hal said, “What about Parcel of Rogues?”
“The song or the band?” Jenna grinned. “I heard the band weren’t bad.”
“We weren’t. But I meant the song.”
“Sure. I play it down The Fiddlers sometimes. Everyone loves a song about the treachery of the English.”
“Play it for me, will you?”
“Can’t you remember it?”
“I’d just like to hear you sing it.”
“Okay, if you like.” It was a powerful song of Scottish identity which is why she’d always loved it and it was impossible to sing it without emotion. When she’d finished, she was surprised to see that Hal’s eyes were bright with unshed tears.
“That’s why I came back.”
“To hear me sing?”
He half smiled. “No, but that’s another good reason. It’s always felt like home. I know I’m half English but I feel like I belong here.”
