by C J Murphy
“Noeul, are you alright?” Kelly dropped down beside her and brushed back the long black strands that had escaped the cuff at Noeul’s nape.
“No. No, I’m not.” Noeul collapsed into Kelly’s embrace and felt Miranda’s strong arms envelop her from the back. “I think I’m going crazy. Check Kyo’s paw for me, please. I pulled a big thorn out of it, and I can’t tell if I got it all or not.” Noeul wiped at the tears and pushed through the soul-searing panic currently piercing her heart. Two messages from Aggie in two days. Something was happening or was about to. Something she had no clue how to face or handle. She knew, deep inside, she wasn’t going insane. It had been Aggie’s voice. Both encounters carried a single basic message. It’s time to move on.
Miranda cupped Noeul’s jaw. “You think you can get up? You’ve got some pretty serious scratches. Your face is bleeding, and so is your arm.”
Noeul took a deep breath and shivered. “I think so. I’ve got some medicinal salve in my saddlebag. Can you get it and put some on her paw? I’ll put her in the saddle with me for the trip home. I don’t want her walking that far.”
Kelly stood and reached a hand down to help Noeul up. “We can do that. First, let’s get you back to the water and clean you up. Once we get back to the house, I want to know exactly what happened. And don’t tell me nothing, because something made you tear off into a briar patch. I’ll give you time to find a way to put it into words.”
Kelly placed an arm around Noeul’s waist, as they made their way back to the pool with Miranda carrying Kyo in her arms. After cleaning and treating the cuts and scratches, they packed everything up. Miranda passed Kyo up into the saddle with Noeul for the trip back. Noeul had taken her for numerous trail rides when she was a puppy, when Kyo would eventually wear out and make the trip home riding across Noeul’s lap.
Today she found it beyond comforting to feel her constant companion so close to her. The return trip was silent, a striking contrast to their comfortable banter on the way to the falls. Thankful that Miranda was in the lead, Noeul let Athena follow at a gentle lope. Noeul blanked her mind to all the things around her, while she tried to process what had happened.
A few hours later, they sat on the butter-soft leather furniture, facing the fireplace. Noeul was wrapped in a soft afghan and held a steaming cup of coffee. Her friends sat on either side of her. The silence in the room was louder than the impending storm outside when Kelly finally broke the silence.
Pushing a strand of hair behind Noeul’s ear, she started. “Are you going to tell us what sent you on a dead run into the brambles, or am I going to have to pry it out of you?”
Noeul took a deep breath, blowing it out through puffed cheeks. “Aggie spoke to me again.”
Kelly stroked her back. “Okay, and what she said made you run away or what?”
Miranda bent down to catch Noeul’s eyes. “Honey, we believe you, so stop worrying about that. What did Aggie say?”
Noeul let her head fall back onto the couch and stared into the flames that danced in the fireplace. “She was quoting a Bible verse from Ecclesiastes.” She watched as both women squinted in confusion. “The one that says there is a time for everything. Think about the song “Turn, Turn, Turn” by the Byrds. The scripture says, ‘a time to be born and a time to die, a time to weep and a time to laugh.’ I think she is trying to tell me to start living, and I don’t know that I can do that. Aggie also said something about a seeker. I don’t know. I’m so confused.” The tears started again, great sobs that caused her shoulders to rise and fall. The pain lanced through her chest, white hot and searing. It felt like she was losing Aggie all over again.
Two sets of arms enveloped her, as her friends wrapped her in a protective cocoon while she cried. Mourning this recent connection with Aggie was almost as painful as when she’d died. Trying to figure out what everything meant was draining both her strength and her emotional well-being.
Miranda kissed her temple and continued to hold her close as she spoke. “Noeul, you don’t have to figure it all out this minute. There must be a reason all this is happening. I won’t lie. I want you to find happiness and love. We never got the chance to know Aggie, but your stories about her humor and tenderness have made us come to love her through you. I have no doubt how much love the two of you shared. I’m having a hard time believing she would have wanted you to live alone for the rest of your life. You have a great deal of knowledge to pass on. The things you can do with a plant could change the world. Don’t waste that gift.”
Noeul pondered Miranda’s words. Her heart longed for someone to share her world with, the intimate touch of a lover, and the security of leaning on someone who would share all the hopes and dreams that only a partner could. Her heart craved that soul-deep connection. It was her head that kept telling her no one would, or could, measure up to Aggie. She feared another relationship would only lead to heartache. “I’m not sure I know how to love again. I’ve had the very best. It’s hard to imagine settling for anything less than what I felt for Aggie.”
Kelly tilted Noeul’s chin up and turned her face toward her. “Noeul, it will never be what it was with Aggie, because that could only happen with Aggie. It doesn’t have to be less either. Not better, not less, just different. Isn’t it worth a try? You’ll never know what could be if you don’t take the first step to try. Honestly, it may be enough right now to admit to yourself that you’ll be open to the opportunity.”
Noeul closed her eyes and tried to let Kelly’s words sink in. There was so much to think about and a great deal of soul searching ahead of her. Aggie said that when the seeker found her, she needed to let them in. Could she even recognize the opportunity if it knocked on her door? Only time would tell. She needed to find the courage to answer if the knock ever came.
***
Noeul lay in her bed, trying to let her mind settle. Kyo sprawled out on her back beside her, paws in the air. She’d applied another layer of medicinal salve to Kyo’s wound and wrapped it to keep her from licking it. That hadn’t lasted too long; she quickly chewed through it and promptly sneezed indignantly. After she realized the futility, Noeul had given up and waited until the dog fell asleep to apply a final dose that she hoped would keep it from getting infected. Kelly and Miranda had brought the latest Cornell newsletter with them, and it was open on her lap as she read. The subscription was in their name to avoid any link to her old life. It had taken some convincing and cajoling from Noeul to get them to go home after their ride back from the falls. They’d tried to argue with her that they could stay another day.
“Go home, you guys. I’m ok.” Noeul hugged her friends as they cleaned up the kitchen.
“Noeul, there’s no reason we have to be back. Leo can handle it. I really don’t like the thought of you being alone after what happened today. I worry.” Kelly drew Noeul into a hug, and she allowed herself to melt into it.
Miranda kissed the top of her head. “You’re family to us, and family sticks together. We’re here for you, day or night. That doesn’t stop because we aren’t physically in the same room.”
Noeul turned in Kelly’s embrace and reached out a hand to cup Miranda’s cheek. “I love you both and, I promise, I’m fine. I have work to do in the greenhouse, and you two have a business to run.”
“Our business is nowhere near as important to us as you are. It’s what family does.” Miranda sandwiched Noeul between her and Kelly.
Noeul welcomed the love and concern from choice. How she would have survived all these years without them was something she wasn’t even willing to think about. She only wished Aggie could have been here to be a part of it. “Now, let’s get you guys on your way before it gets dark. I’ve got some work to do. After that, I’m going to park myself on the couch in front of the fire and read.”
Noeul lay in bed trying to concentrate on the newsletter and not on Aggie’s words. Her eyes caught a story about a Professor Armstrong’s sabbatical. She remembered Jordan as a student, years
ago. She’d shown incredible promise in the field of plant genetics. In Noeul’s mind, Jordan was a prodigy. The article revealed that Jordan was headed out on a cross-country trek seeking missing elements into her research involving a promising superfood. Noeul was intrigued. Maybe the next time she was at Miranda and Kelly’s, she’d look into publications from her former student and do some internet research. It gave her great satisfaction to know that her beloved Cornell was still one of the leading institutions of higher learning with a focus on agriculture.
Brenda Schoepp came to mind, an advocate for both women and agriculture credited with saying, “Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher, but…three times a day you need a farmer.” Noeul believed that there was a coming storm in relation to growing the goods needed for a healthy society. Climate change, urban sprawl, and big agriculture’s failure to properly care for the soil and the environment in general, were constantly pushing the boundaries of food production. I can only hope something I taught her is helping in her quest. Noeul laid the newsletter on the nightstand and switched off the light. She heard a soft snore from her canine companion and turned to rub a soft belly, as she closed her eyes and prayed for a night of sleep, without dreams full of hidden messages.
***
Jordan opened one eye to judge the time. The tent was beginning to filter in the morning light. She could see faint wisps of her breath in the muted illumination and feel the stinging cold on her face. “Why couldn’t you have chosen Hawaii, Professor James?” Her body was warm inside her sleeping bag and urged her to stay right where she was. Her brain, on the other hand, demanded coffee, and her stomach growled with an angry request to be fed.
A great deal of energy had been burned yesterday to reach this point, and she needed to refuel. A few packages of instant oatmeal, dried fruit, and a squeeze of honey should do the trick. She wriggled into the jeans she’d kept in the sleeping bag with her and donned her thick wool socks. No matter what the temperature, she couldn’t sleep in socks or pants. She preferred sleeping completely naked. That wasn’t really practical in the great outdoors, where anything could happen.
Her polar fleece skull cap had kept her head warm all night. Currently, it was making her itch. She pulled it off and scratched at her scalp until the frigid temperatures forced her to pull it back on and rummage for her gloves inside the bag. Once she’d sufficiently braced herself for the cold, Jordan unzipped the subzero sleeping bag and shivered against the frosty morning. Her boots were like ice blocks. After she laced them up, she unzipped the tent to watch a brilliant sunrise inch its way above the horizon. Jordan prepped her breakfast and poured a healthy measure of freeze-dried coffee into a mug. She munched on a power bar as the light began to dance off the rocks and the lake.
The solitude was incredible, though part of her wished for someone to share this moment with. The last person Jordan let that close had ripped her heart out and crushed it into the ground like a discarded cigarette butt. Not going to happen. Your time will be better spent figuring these clues out and finding Professor Scott. She poured water into the metal cup and stirred. With the coffee held close to her nose, the strong aroma stirred her senses as she pulled it deeply into her sinuses.
She tore two oatmeal packets open and dumped them into the pan of hot water. She sat back, holding the pan in her gloved, but still chilled fingers. She gingerly brought the coffee mug to her lips and took a careful sip in an attempt to avoid burning her tongue. Waiting for the coffee to cool before the first drink was proving too difficult. The scalding, bitter brew slid down her throat, instantly spreading warmth throughout her chest.
A thought worked its way into her brain, as she pulled a flask from her backpack to add a small portion of Irish whiskey to the mug. As she took another drink, she closed her eyes and let the caffeinated liquid take the edge off her growing anxiety. Finding the resting place of the next clue weighed heavily on her, as she consumed her breakfast.
Jordan was aware that she might not locate the memorial, and her quest could come to an end right there. Something made her believe she had to keep searching, that the answers were there. She also had to believe, given her experience at Havasu, that she was being guided by something beyond the physical world. She finished her meal, cleaned up, and made a few preparations in case she made a discovery.
With her own allotment of two days at this location, she wasn’t looking forward to another night in the cold, sleeping on the unforgiving ground. The thin foam pad only did a fair job at keeping her from feeling every rock and twig under her tent. She rubbed at a sore spot on her hip and grabbed her day pack, determined to get an early start at climbing to the highest point in search of the memorial.
Gravel crunched beneath Jordan’s boots, as she climbed up the frost-slicked path. She watched the steam trail of her exhalation float up, before her lungs inhaled the next breath of sharp, clean air. After ten minutes of exertion, her muscles were warmed up and she considered removing a layer to prevent overheating. Hard to believe I could be burning up in these temperatures. Within fifteen minutes, she’d reached the summit she’d been directed to and removed her beanie to allow steam to rise off her head.
Having no idea where Aggie’s memorial rested, she closed her eyes and waited for a moment of inspiration to direct her next steps. She lifted her eyes to watch the sun flit in and out of long, thin clouds, as its reflected light shone off the mirror-like surface of the lake. She tried to look for things that would be out of sight from below. Anything was suspect, and she only hoped whatever had guided her up to this spot would point out the anomaly. She didn’t expect the soft voice floating on the wind.
“Listen.”
She looked around and saw no one. What the hell? Jordan closed her eyes and sharpened her auditory senses, blocking everything else out. A thin whistle pierced the quiet. The sound was only audible when the wind blew. That fact led her to believe it wasn’t a person creating the sound. In her mind, Jordan pictured a clock face and rotated her body clockwise to the various numerical positions. Each time she heard the high-pitched whistle, she adjusted until she could hear it better. At the five o’clock position, the whistle was the strongest and clearest yet. She looked for anything that could create the noise. A bare scrub tree sat alone off in the distance, visible only when the cloud cover was just right. She watched it and waited.
A gust came up and the sound pealed out, while she zeroed in to find something capable of producing a whistle. Visually, there was nothing there except the scrub. That has to be it–there isn’t another damn thing anywhere near there. After she shifted her pack to a more comfortable position, she mapped out a path to reach the tree and again looked for a source of the voice that had told her to listen.
“I know what I heard. I’m not losing my mind”. She was also sure it was the same voice that had led her to the high point. Jordan had to believe she was being guided by something well beyond her understanding. Something was revealing each step along the treacherous path, as she worked her way to the tree. She scaled small rock faces and navigated deep crevasses that meant certain injury if she took a wrong step. “This is crazy. If Mom or Dava knew what I was doing, they’d have a fit.” Painfully, she moved forward on instinct, stopping occasionally to listen for the distinct whistle. After a grueling, hour-long trek, she approached the tree with an eye to identifying anything like she’d seen in the previous clue sites.
“Follow your heart.”
Jordan turned around quickly. This time the voice was much louder and resonated with greater force. A hand held to shield her eyes, she searched for anything that could explain what she’d heard. There was nothing within sight in any direction. The pull toward the scrub was growing ever stronger and attempts to resist seemed futile. Nothing seemed out of place; nothing looked like a potential source of the whistling. She hadn’t heard it since arriving at the tree.
Jordan repeated the disembodied message, “Follow your heart.” Wher
e was her heart? Work…her family…her roots. Wait a minute. Roots, could that be it? The roots at the base of the tree were partially exposed. She bent over to examine them more closely, circling the tree counterclockwise. Her eye caught something peculiar. Two rocks, lying side by side, formed an oddly shaped heart. There was no way this was a natural occurrence, because the two rocks were of different composition. She inspected the formation closely and took a picture of the orientation. She moved them to reveal what she had driven across the country to find, a silver cylinder. Jordan stopped for a moment and raised her face to the sky. “Thank you, whoever you are. I know that I wouldn’t be this far without your help. I can only ask that you keep helping me. I need to find her.” She took a few minutes to hold the cylinder in hands. She closed her eyes and swore she heard the whistle again.
Chapter Six
NOEUL WOKE UP THE next morning to a heavy rain. She’d cared for her animals and spent time in the greenhouse recording some data that she’d fallen behind in categorizing. Her outside tasks completed, she’d curled up in front of the fire and read from an Ann Rice novel. Her last trip to New Orleans had been when she’d traveled there to leave Aggie’s memorial. That was not the memory that pulled her mind.
Aggie patted her stomach, as they entered the room. “I’m so stuffed, I could pop.”
“Oh my God, I’ve never seen a steak that big. I can’t believe you ate all of it. I’d be crawling out of there on my hands and knees if I’d eaten that much.” Noeul flipped on the lamp and collapsed back onto the beautiful, ornate wooden bed in the historic Havana Hotel. It’d been a long day of travel, and she wanted to climb under the sheets and curl up in Aggie’s strong arms. She closed her eyes and felt the bed dip, a knee pressed up into her center. “There is no way you can even think about making love. You have to be exhausted.” Noeul rolled her head from side to side. “The mind’s willing, but the body...”
