by C J Murphy
Sarah was almost bouncing in her seat. “Okay, now what?”
Jordan rose and stretched. “Now, I could use a drink. Anyone want some of Jida’s juice?”
“Great minds.” Dalia walked into the room with glasses for everyone.
Jordan watched her mother walk past her. “Thanks, Mom.”
“How about I give you guys a hand with these clues? I’ve got a pretty good head on my shoulders. Maybe I can show you where you two got your brains. Not that your dad didn’t add a few points to the scale.”
For the next twenty minutes, the four women worked through the final clues with Dalia adding the answer Cadillac Mountain, to a trivia-style question about who sees the sunrise first.
Dalia ran her hand across Jordan’s back. “Honey, unless I miss my guess, you’re headed to Acadia National Park. It’s a huge place. Any idea of a more pinpoint location?”
Jordan closed her eyes. Each stop had been exactly like this. The clues got her to the overall location, while failing to divulge the specific site of the memorial. That was never revealed to her without help from another realm. Relaxing into her mother’s touch, she let her mind settle into the feeling of strong hands running through her hair. When Dava and Jordan were young, Dalia would sing them to sleep while repeating this same gentle motion. Those wonderfully protective hands had soothed them through childhood difficulties revolving around the girls’ intelligence and the stigma of gifted programs in elementary school.
Sarah sat forward and leaned her elbows on her knees. “I spent some time in Acadia, a few years ago. I was with a dive club hitting a few of the cold-water spots in October. Temperatures were in the fifties most of the time. I dove in a pretty thick wetsuit, so it wasn’t too bad.”
Jordan started pulling up accommodations for Acadia National Park, when an idea hit her. She couldn’t control her giddiness as she typed in a search for handicapped accessibility and came up with the Bar Harbor Inn. The rumble of conversation penetrated her searches. Hearing her name, she looked up at everyone around her. “What?”
“You’re mumbling to yourself, JJ. What are you smiling about?”
“I need everyone to check their schedules for the next week. I think it’s time we took a family vacation.” She looked directly at Sarah. “and I mean the whole family.”
***
Noeul found herself drawn to the research material in Jordan’s book. Miranda had sent Leo up with some mail and an apple chop cake from Kelly. Noeul had barely been able to put the book down since the minute she put it in her hands. As she lay on the couch, one hand behind her head, her eyes flowed over page after page of Professor Jordan Armstrong’s research. It’d been a very long time since she’d been so engrossed, almost to an obsession, about anything. Jordan’s research was extremely advanced and fell right along the track Noeul had been on when she retired. She smiled at the detailed work.
“She’s brilliant, Kyo. Jordan’s found a way to orchestrate growth in relationship to the available moisture or in this case, lack of it. It’s like we’ve been working in parallel, only each in a different universe. Slightly different approaches, I’ll admit. Water is her issue. Everything I’m reading says she’s right on the cusp. Some of the things I’ve been doing here could put her over the edge toward a major breakthrough.”
Noeul pulled herself up off the couch. Pots and pans came out of the cabinets, as she set about creating a lamb stew. Butchering was not one of her favorite things. With Miranda’s help, she’d learned to do it when it was time. She could only keep a small flock, given her resources. Kelly had spent almost a week teaching her the finer points of cold-packing meat in a pressure canner. Her shelves were stocked with preserved foods that required no refrigeration. A jar of the lamb combined with carrots, potatoes and onions from her garden would make a satisfying meal. Once it was on slow simmer, she took Kyo out and checked on all the animals.
Noeul put them to bed, as she took the time to provide them with their evening meal and attention. Rico rubbed up against her, as she milked Pip. She squeezed and streamed milk right into his mouth. He meowed incessantly between licks of his face. “Nothing like fresh from the source, right Rico?” The cat circled her legs, until she rewarded him with a final shot before patting Pip’s side. “Thank you, girl.” Noeul carried the goat’s milk inside and poured it into a large glass jar with a lid. “Tomorrow we’ll make cheese, Kyo.” She enjoyed the great purpose she found in being self-sufficient through simple tasks. Thoughts of Jordan’s research began to creep their way back into her mind.
What Jordan had been able to accomplish in such a short life was truly remarkable. Everything she read about Jordan told her she was a talented professor. Her students had nothing less than high praise for her teaching ability. Noeul was fascinated that, in half the time, Jordan had taken her own most basic research and pushed the boundaries far beyond what she’d been able to do. What Jordan was on the verge of would change the world and fueled Noeul’s desire to continue her own research. What would we have been able to accomplish together, Professor?
After filling a bowl with the thick stew, she grabbed a bottle of Miranda’s home brew and settled on the couch in front of the fireplace. She found the page where she’d left off and began to read as she ate. Entranced at a particularly fascinating passage, her spoon sat poised an inch from her lips. Only when she stopped to ponder some point did she realize and place the cold bite into her mouth.
Kyo was scratching at the door, and the half-eaten bowl of stew sat on the table in front of Noeul. She shook herself from her reading trance and realized it was well past ten. Hastily, she let Kyo out for her nightly rounds. Kyo was back in a few moments time and nudging her empty bowl with her nose and a soft whine.
“Good Lord, I think Momma has lost her mind, Kyo.”
Bowl in hand, she headed to the kitchen where she put the remainder of her own dinner as well as a generous helping of the stew into the bowl. Soft scratches behind Kyo’s ears as she ate helped ease Noeul’s guilt. The stove blazed with the wood she’d added, as she picked up Jordan’s book and yawned.
“Bedtime, Kyo.” The border collie jumped up on the bed and made her three circles before she settled with a huff in Noeul’s direction.
“I’m sorry, girl. I’ve been a bit distracted. I guess I’m still a geek at heart.” Noeul settled under the covers and held the book in front of her. Sleep claimed her in the middle of a page, and the book unceremoniously fell on her face, making her jump. She rubbed her eyes and placed it on the nightstand, as she reached for the switch on the lamp.
Her body was tired, and her mind was swimming in thoughts of research and a dark-haired student, turned professor. It was rare for Noeul to dream. Tonight however, was the exception. If she were honest with herself, she couldn’t even swear this was a dream.
All around her, plants grew in raised beds. Vegetables of every color hung ripe on the vine, ready for picking. The fields rippled in waves of what she thought was grain. She couldn’t be sure. Deep within her, something was intrinsically familiar about the plants. A noise to her right drew her attention. A rider, backlit by the sun, rode very near the planted field. Every so often, the rider would dismount and pull at the base of the plants. The person walked along, reins clutched in the right hand, leading a beautiful, black-and-white paint behind. The rider never looked in Noeul’s direction. She made her way around the edge of the red-gold field, her left hand brushing through the thigh-high growth. The rider never came close to her. Eventually, she swung back into the saddle before skirting into the trees. Noeul did notice the long, lean form, as the individual rode away.
Was it possible she was watching herself as the rider? It didn’t seem like it. Her ponytail was missing. To her, the person seemed much too tall to be a representation of herself. Not having seen the rider’s face, she had no way to confirm or deny her suspicion, until Noeul heard a voice.
“It wasn’t you.”
Noeul spun in a wide c
ircle, seeking the source of the voice. “Aggie? Where are you? I can’t see you. Tell me where you are.”
The voice was all around her. “In your heart…and in your past.”
“No, no. In my dreams it’s possible for you to be right here in my present. In my dreams I can touch you. You can hold me! Please, Aggie!”
Noeul’s pleas were met with silence.
“Aggie, don’t go!”
“Noeul, our time was too short. I know. We accomplished and experienced amazing things together, my love. I died, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did! I died the second your heart stopped beating. Nothing has been the same for me. I’m empty and yes, angry at you for leaving me.”
Noeul heard a sigh.
“It wasn’t by choice. I would have stayed if I could have. Nothing can bring me back, my sweet Noeul. You have a choice to make in the not too distant future. Life isn’t always what we planned. I never wanted you to be alone. I thought I would die of old age by your side.”
Noeul dropped to her knees, grabbing handfuls of rich earth between her fingers. “You were supposed to be here.”
“I was, and in a way, I still am…in your heart. Life is short, too short in my case. You, on the other hand, have years left and much to do. That rider is your future, and she walks the same path you do. Her journey brings her closer to what she’s seeking, and you are part of her quest.”
“Who the hell are you talking about? How am I supposed to even know who she is? I’m up here on this mountain, and the only people I ever see are Miranda and Kelly. No one knows I’m here.”
“None of that will matter, your paths are moving closer together. The crossroad isn’t in sight yet. Be open, that’s all I ask.”
“Aggie why would you ask this of me? How can you ask me to move on from you and the greatest love I’ve ever known?”
“Because it’s time.”
Noeul sat upright in bed, drenched in sweat. Her face was wet from the tears that poured liberally down her face. Kyo’s warm tongue swiped at the moisture, as Noeul wrapped her arms around the dog’s soft neck and cried. She cried for all the things in her life that had put her in this place and time, alone.
Hours later, Noeul got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Eyes, with dark circles underneath them, met her in the mirror. Well, Noeul, you look like shit. At some point, she’d fallen asleep with her arms around Kyo. The cold water she splashed on her face braced her, while she tried to compose herself. She held onto the sides of the sink, as water ran down her jaw and dripped onto the collar of her sleep shirt. Noeul smoothed back her hair and tried to shake off the shadows from the night. Every nerve was on high alert.
Sunlight streamed through the windows, as her feet made connection with the hallway. The wood was smooth and warm from the radiant heating that ran beneath it. She let her hand brush along the tongue and grooves of the pine walls, taking in every tactile sensation. Something felt different today. It was as if an ember had sparked into a small flame within her. Noeul felt things. Things that seemed impossible yesterday. A growing feeling of hope swirled through her.
Last night’s dream felt so real. I can still hear Aggie’s voice, asking me to be open to possibilities not yet revealed. Noeul let Kyo outside and stood on the threshold. She pulled her eyes to the rising sun. Each day, the sun rose in the east and set in the west. These two things happened without fail. Although she was grateful for the constants in her life, she was growing restless. Noeul shook herself and concentrated on the here and now. She grabbed her journal from the end table by the couch and took it to the kitchen.
First Aggie talks to me in my waking hours, now in my dreams. She keeps talking about a change in my life. None of that seems possible, even if I wanted it. My heart is still so broken from her leaving me. How can I think about moving on when I can’t get her out of my thoughts? I’m lonely. I need to go visit Miranda and Kelly more, possibly take an overnight trip out of the area.
There’s always so much work to do here, though. Pretty soon I’ll need to build cold frames for kale and a few other leafy greens. The cabbage should be ready to mix the kimchi I’ll can and put in the root cellar. The cabbage, ginger, and scallions are easy. I’m not sure the daikon is ready yet. That long, white winter radish is key to getting the recipe right. The smell alone takes me back to days in the kitchen with my mother. At least the lingering smell will give me happy memories for weeks.
For centuries, my ancestors buried the mixture in clay pots. I use modern safety precautions. I always make a big batch of it for the girls as an anniversary present. I swear there must be some Korean in Miranda somewhere, with as much as she loves the stuff. I also need to check on my turnips and carrots. I need to put out a second crop for the winter months, when the snow is too deep to walk down the mountain. Thor and Athena will get spoiled over the winter, down at Miranda and Kelly’s. I wish I had a way to make or have hay delivered up here. The terrain makes that impossible. I need to get some things ready to take to the farmers’ market, too. Haven’t been there in a while. It will be good to see Mr. Anderson.
Noeul closed the journal and decided that breakfast was the first order of the day. She attacked it with gusto before slipping into a pair of worn jeans, a West Virginia T-shirt, and work boots. With Kyo at her side, she made her way through the barn to feed everyone and turn them out. Noeul’s chickens left the roost with appreciative clucks and pecked around the ground. “That should keep them busy while I look for the eggs.”
Once the morning chores were done, she curled up in the hammock with Professor Armstrong’s book. Noeul was allowing herself an hour break before she set about planting the winter vegetables. Page after page, Professor Jordan Armstrong drew her deeper into the material with her words and thoughts. Each chapter engaged the reader in the research and Professor Armstrong’s passion for solving world hunger. Noeul let the book fall to her chest, as a familiar voice called out to her.
“Ollie, Ollie oxen free!”
Noeul turned and rolled out of the hammock, a huge smile plastered on her face. “Kelly! What a great surprise!”
Kelly dismounted and stretched. “I come bearing gifts.” She pulled a stack of mail and packages out of her saddlebags. “What in the hell did you order?”
Noeul looked over the stack of mail, quickly dismissing the junk and moving it to the bottom of the pile. “More books that my former student wrote and some correspondence from former colleagues. You up for some lunch? I made lamb stew last night.”
Kelly rolled her eyes back in her head. “I’d kill for your lamb stew. Count me in.”
The two made their way to the kitchen so that Noeul could prepare lunch. She pulled the lid off the goat butter and set it in front of Kelly with a few slices of her homemade bread. Once the stew came up to temperature, she dished out a generous helping into each bowl and slid onto a stool beside Kelly at the granite-top bar. Kelly clinked spoons with her and they both dug in.
“You know this is one of my absolute favorites?”
“That I do. I’m glad I decided to make it. After all these years, I don’t know how to make just enough for myself.” Noeul caught herself and bit into the bread to keep from expanding on that thought.
Kelly put her spoon down and turned to Noeul. “We aren’t made to be alone, honey. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to meet Aggie. I’m guessing this was not what she had envisioned for you.” Kelly took a few breaths. “Look, Noeul, what would you have wanted her to do if you would have been the one to pass?”
Noeul’s heart was aching, and so much of her world seemed to be crashing in around her. The signs were getting more apparent, all the time, that change was coming. She didn’t have any idea if she was ready for that change, or if she would even recognize the signs. Her eyes were stinging, and she closed them tightly.
“Please don’t cry, Noeul. I didn’t come up here to badger you or to make you sad. I thought you could use a little company.”
N
oeul rubbed the back of her neck to relieve the tension. “You’re always welcome here. It’s an open invitation.”
“Good, because that wife of mine is on my reserve nerve. I figured, before I said something I’d regret, a long ride up the mountain and a friendly face were a much better choice.”
“I love you, Kelly. You never need a reason to visit and will always be welcome to vent about the Looney Tunes character you married. I’m sure by now, she’s cleaned the house for you and probably has made a dozen no-bake cookies in apology.”
Kelly laughed. “Probably.” She shivered, “If they turn out like her last bunch, we’ll have to eat them with a spoon. I have no idea how you can screw up a recipe that has so few ingredients and doesn’t require you to even turn on the oven, but my wife can.”
“Well, this is Miranda we’re talking about, so nothing should surprise you after this long.” Noeul paused for a long time. “I’m so envious of you two sometimes. I’d give anything to have Aggie screw up no-bake cookies for me.” She felt Kelly’s hand slide over hers, as she did her best to push the melancholy thoughts away. “How about you help me harvest some bok choy, and I’ll send some back with you tonight?”
Kelly squeezed her hand. “Throw in some kohlrabi and you’ve got a deal.”
“You drive a hard bargain. Come on, I want you back off this mountain before it gets dark. Thanks, Kelly, more than you know.”
Chapter Ten
JORDAN HELPED HER MOTHER gather the luggage, while Sarah eased Dava into a companion style wheelchair they were using. The group had collectively agreed to make the trip less stressful by taking a flight to Boston and then a commuter to Bar Harbor, in comparison to a long drive from D.C. The family had flown together before and had worked out a system that was effective.
