by C J Murphy
***
Noeul looked out the window as Jordan moved around preparing the fire. She knew she’d been lonely, that was no secret. She hadn’t fully understood the depth of her isolation until she had Jordan here every night to share a meal and to go about her day with. Hell, having someone to say good morning to and having them say it back feels like the first warm day of spring after a frigid winter. Simple things like that were making her realize how much she missed being with someone.
Her relationship with Aggie had never been all rainbows and unicorns. They’d fought, disagreed, and downright argued at times. The point was that they’d been there for each other, for better or worse. She and Jordan had fallen into such an easy companionship. Noeul enjoyed turning around to see Jordan working close to her. And having someone to bounce an idea off immediately was completely invigorating. I certainly don’t mind the incidental touches or being close to Jordan. She wasn’t sure she was completely ready to admit what it was doing to her body…or my heart.
The ice cream maker pulled apart easily, which allowed her to remove the beater and scrape the ice cream back into the metal cylinder. She reached into the drawer and pulled out two spoons, shutting it with her hip as she headed to the door. At the last second, she looked at the two spoons in her hand and set one on the table by the door. Without giving herself a chance to second guess her actions, she walked out to the blazing fire and took a seat by Jordan.
Jordan’s face was full of anticipation. “Well, how’d it turn out?”
Noeul smiled. “You be the judge.” She slid the spoon into the creamy, frozen confection and held the utensil up to let Jordan take the first taste. Her eyes met Jordan’s, and she swore the fire she saw there had nothing to do with the flames licking at the wood in the pit.
Jordan wrapped warm fingers around her wrist, bringing the spoon to her lips. Noeul watched, as she tentatively stuck out her tongue for the first taste, her eyes never leaving Noeul’s. When Jordan accepted the spoon, Noeul watched those same eyes flutter shut, open, and roll back. A pleasure-filled moan escaped Jordan’s throat. Noeul swallowed hard and tightened her thighs against the deep clench and pulse of her center.
Jordan pointed to the ice cream. “That is one of the most incredible things I’ve ever tasted. No pint of Ben and Jerry’s could ever compare.”
Noeul’s throat felt like an arid desert, her lips as parched as if she’d been lying in the sun. She tried to wet her lips with her tongue, instantly liking the wide-eyed reaction Jordan gave her. “Really?”
Jordan dipped the spoon into the ice cream and scooted close, holding it out for Noeul. As she drew it into her mouth, she watched Jordan visibly shudder and close her eyes. She nearly dropped the spoon. Noeul was enjoying this little impromptu seduction scene. She rose and sat down in Jordan’s lap, snugging her ass into Jordan’s crotch and enjoying the very tiny whimper that escaped the taller woman’s throat. Noeul spooned up another bite and held it for Jordan, as she felt tentative hands settle on her hips.
They sat there like that taking several more bites, until Jordan signaled she’d had enough. Noeul turned the spoon upside down and cleaned off the last remnants of the ice cream. She fixed her eyes on Jordan’s. “Did you enjoy that?”
“Utterly intoxicating.” Jordan’s head dropped against the back of the chair.
Noeul leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Jordan’s lips, the taste of blackberries and cream still present. Noeul could feel the body beneath her nearly vibrate with tension. When she pulled back from the kiss, she rested her forehead on Jordan’s, their chests heaving in almost perfect rhythm. “I’d better get this in the freezer before it goes to waste.” Jordan held her hips firmly in place.
“Please, don’t move.”
“I promise, I’ll be right back. I want to put this in the freezer.” Jordan continued to hold her tight, and Noeul searched her eyes. There was no fear, no anger, no hurt. “What’s wrong?”
Jordan drew in a slow breath, ragged and anything but smooth.
“Jordan, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong?” Noeul placed a tentative palm against the heated cheek. “Do you have a fever? You’re very warm.” Her hand automatically went to Jordan’s forehead, only to be captured and pulled to Jordan’s lips, the knuckles kissed reverently.
“Noeul, I feel fine. Actually, better than fine. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
Jordan closed her eyes, and Noeul saw a small smile form on her lips.
“I’m so turned on right now that if you move your ass, even a little bit, I’m going to embarrass myself.”
Noeul’s confusion cleared in a flash. Her face heated and she shook her head, slightly embarrassed. “Feeling a bit like a fourteen-year-old boy watching Jamie Lee Curtis dance in True Lies?”
Jordan snorted, laughter rolling off her until she had to wipe her eyes. Noeul joined in and the two sat in a futile attempt to bring themselves under control. Finally, Noeul looked into Jordan’s eyes and saw composure and smoldering need.
Jordan shook her head. “That description is pretty accurate. Give it a few more seconds, and I think you can get up without incident.”
Noeul sat there, perfectly still, admiring Jordan’s stunning features and the dark, chocolate eyes that glinted in the firelight with a lingering look of desire. Jordan shifted and released Noeul’s hips.
The sight of the beautiful woman, visibly struggling to rein in her desire, had Noeul’s center pulsing. “I’ll be right back. Hold that thought, okay?” Noeul briefly touched her lips to Jordan as she rose. When she walked away, she realized there was little she wouldn’t give to see that look in Jordan’s eyes again and again and again.
***
Jordan watched Noeul enter the house. Without a doubt, she only had a few minutes to bring her libido under control. She took several deep breaths and adjusted her uncomfortably damp shorts. Her fingers brushed across her tingling lips, and her side burned like never before. Holy shit what that woman can do to me with just a kiss.
She’d vowed to take this at Noeul’s pace, and she meant it. The problem was, Jordan was no saint. One more session of Seduction 101 and she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. The exquisite feeling of Noeul sitting in her lap, feeding her ice cream from a shared spoon, had been as arousing and erotic as anything she’d ever done in her life. The storm that raged through her center had her on the edge of climax. If she hadn’t stopped Noeul from moving when she did, Jordan would have orgasmed with even the most accidental stimulation of her swollen clit. She heard the sliding glass door and took a deep breath. Using the poker, she moved some of logs around in the pit. It appeared that Noeul had outdoor speakers, because the distinctive voice of Carol King came floating out onto the night air.
Noeul stood less than two feet from her, her hand outstretched. Jordan rose out of her chair and joined Noeul in an embrace followed by gentle kiss, as the two swayed together to Carol’s voice singing into the darkness.
“Remember, I’m right here and we take this one day at a time, side by side,” Jordan whispered. She felt Noeul draw in closer. Jordan wanted to shelter her, body and soul, in the safety and comfort of her arms. Loss had been too much a part of this beautiful woman’s life for far too long. Noeul deserved to be worry free, and Jordan knew that it would take time to believe she wasn’t going anywhere.
They danced to a few more songs, before Jordan added logs to the fire. She sat and drew Noeul into her lap. She used her long arms to hold Noeul close to her body, as the tiny woman drew her legs up and nestled in the curve of Jordan’s neck.
Jordan tightened the circle of her arms and looked up into the night sky. “I love the way you can see every star up here on a clear night. It reminds me of the night I spent at Moose Lake. That place was amazing."
“I will admit, it was pretty incredible. Cold but incredible. I toyed with putting the memorial in the lake. It was too damn cold. I looked around and climbed to the highest point. Once
I did, that tree where you found it, called to me. It reminded me of how I felt, all alone, rooted in a place I couldn’t change. Not really living, merely surviving from one season to the next."
“Maybe you don’t recognize the most important part of that statement. You were surviving. I know that doesn’t tell the whole story. The reality is, it’s the most critical element. You could have curled up and refused to move forward. That’s not what you’ve done.”
Noeul sighed and entwined her fingers with Jordan’s. “When I hear you say it, it sounds so different than what it felt like going through it.”
“Our perception is always skewed. You've traveled to amazing places and pushed yourself to limits you didn’t know possible. You built this place and have done more than exist. Noeul, you’ve thrived. That’s a fact."
Jordan didn’t say anymore, letting her words sink in. She prayed that simple sentiment had helped Noeul see that her life didn’t stop because Aggie died. The fire crackled and popped in front of them. Off in the distance, an owl hooted and another one answered. Noeul’s fists tightened their grip on the T-shirt Jordan was wearing. Jordan’s eyes closed as she leaned down and gently placed her lips against Noeul’s warm forehead. She rested her cheek against the silken strands of hair. The touch elicited something that sounded much like a sigh from Noeul, who had yet to speak.
“Noeul, I don’t claim to know everything. Hell, I’m not sure of most things at this point. What I am sure of, is being with you is like nothing I’ve ever done, like nothing I’ve ever felt. With you, there’s more to life than research, facts, and figures. For the first time in a long time, I feel something.”
Seconds passed as Jordan held her, firelight flickering off everything around them. Bandit yawned and Kyo followed. Jordan stroked Noeul’s cheek and was pleased to see sleepy eyes turn up to her. “I think the children are telling us that it’s time to go to bed.”
Noeul snuggled into Jordan’s chest. “I know. I’m finding it hard to move from this spot.”
“I know the feeling.” Jordan paused and tightened her arms around the small frame that sat encircled inside her arms. “If we fall asleep like this, you’ll be sitting on my full bladder all night.” Jordan stood, still cradling Noeul.
“Jordan, you’ll hurt yourself, put me down.”
“The only thing that would hurt me right now is if you made me follow your wishes. Let me enjoy this for a few minutes more, okay?”
Noeul shook her head, and Jordan felt the nod go straight to her heart. Several strides later, she whistled for the dogs and laughed as Noeul reached out and slid the door open with a free hand, while the other clung tightly to her neck.
Once inside, she slid the door shut with her foot, barely noticing the weight of the very petite woman in her arms. Kyo and Bandit went to the living room and turned around several times, before they settled into a pile. Bandit’s head rested on Kyo’s shoulders. Jordan carried Noeul back to her bed and set her down on it, kissing her head which she held tenderly between her hands. “Good night.”
When she stood to leave, Noeul grabbed her arm, entangled their fingers, and pulled Jordan’s head back down. Soft kisses touched Jordan’s lips, and she fought to prevent a groan of pleasure from escaping.
Noeul words were soft and feather light. “Can you…”
Jordan looked deeply into Noeul’s eyes. “Can I what?” She watched emotions cross Noeul’s face like an approaching storm cloud rolling over a mountain top. “I told you, there’s nothing you can’t ask of me, Noeul.”
“Can you hold me tonight? I mean, just hold me?”
Jordan dropped to her knee so that Noeul didn’t have to look up at her. “I can do anything you need. Let me go take care of a few necessary things and I’ll be right back. Will that be okay?” She watched doubt fall across Noeul’s face and vowed to drive it away. “As much as I want to crawl in there right now and draw you into my arms, I’m not sure how comfortable we’ll be sleeping in our current attire. And to be honest, I need to pee and brush my teeth.” She was pleased to see a small smile cross Noeul’s face. She kissed her forehead and quickly exited to her room. After taking care of the must dos, she shed her clothes and pulled on another faded, red Cornell T-shirt that lay sitting on her bed and a loose pair of cotton boxers.
Stepping on the wood floor, she walked quietly back to Noeul’s doorway, tentative and fearful that Noeul might have reconsidered. When she saw the covers pulled back on the vacant side of the bed, Jordan stepped forward and lay down on her back. In invitation, she opened her left arm.
After a few seconds, her eyes adjusted to the soft moonlight illuminating the room as she gazed around. A photograph of a sunset view adorned the wall closest to her. She was sure that view was right outside the door. A bit further over, a pencil drawing of a fern leaf was framed in dark wood, and across the room, a pastel water color too muted for her to distinguish, hung in a place of pride. She pulled up on an old-fashioned quilt that covered the queen size bed and settled her head deeper into the soft, feather pillows that lined the headboard. She felt, more than saw, Noeul move into her arms, her head coming to rest above Jordan’s left breast. She felt fingers tent a piece of the shirt she was wearing.
Noeul’s words were still no more than a whisper. “I like this shirt on you. You wear it like a second skin.”
“I’m surprised it’s survived all these years. It was the first one I bought when I got to Cornell. It’s followed me through every research project I’ve ever worked on, through my PhD. and more hikes than I can remember. It carried me through…”
Noeul sat up, her eyes searching Jordan’s face. “Through what?”
“My search for you.”
Jordan felt a hand smooth the T-shirt over her skin. That movement alone was arousing enough. Add in the hand that tightened and clenched the shirt in a ball, and she was in sensory overload as the fabric pulled tight against her erect nipples. Biting her lip, she stifled a moan. Jordan brought her hand from behind her head and wrapped it around the small body lying at her side.
Tension vibrated and rippled through her, as she fought to control the onslaught of arousal coursing low in her center. She clasped Noeul’s hand and rested her cheek against the sweet, coconut smelling hair beneath her cheek. Jordan rarely prayed, a fact not lost on her as she offered up a silent request to anyone listening. Please don’t let her fear this, let her trust me.
***
Noeul lay with her head tucked below Jordan’s chin. The rise and fall of the soft skin beneath her cheek was nowhere near as relaxed as someone trying to sleep should be. A sixth sense told her Jordan was trying to lay still and doing a poor job of it. She felt the waves of stress roll off her.
Noeul was uncomfortably warm from her own rising desire. She couldn’t force herself to separate from the muscled body she was curled up next to. She lay there and listened to the prestissimo beat of Jordan's heart, quick, steady and unerring. Years ago, she’d crawled into a hospital bed to be close to Aggie in her final moments, praying for a miracle.
The machines had been turned off at Noeul’s request so that those last moments of Aggie’s life wouldn’t be filled with beeps and shrill sounds. As Noeul’s ear lay pressed to the cooling skin of the once vibrant woman, she strained to hear one more beat. The room was eerily silent for a long time. Aggie’s doctor, Rita Hamilton, placed a hand on Noeul’s shoulder.
“Noeul, can I listen for a minute?” Rita held up her stethoscope.
Noeul slowly shook her head as the numbness crept in, leaving her feeling empty. She already knew what Rita would find. There would be nothing to listen to. Noeul felt the loss the moment Aggie left her. Never again would she hear that voice or feel her embrace. Aggie was gone, and no medical intervention could ever bring her back.
“Noeul?”
The sound of her name pulled her from the memory. Noeul was startled to feel moisture on her face and was embarrassed that those same tears had dampened the shirt beneath
her cheek. “Oh, Jordan, I’m sorry.” She attempted to sit up, only to be held fast in place by the strong arms that embraced her.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Have I done something to make you uncomfortable, something that’s made you cry?”
“No, Jordan, you’ve done nothing except be wonderful. These tears don’t have anything to do with you. I’m sorry I’ve gotten you wet.” Noeul felt a small chuckle beneath her, and a hand cupped her cheek. She recognized the double entendre and lightly smacked Jordan’s tight abdominal muscles. “You’re so bad.”
“Guilty as charged. Honestly, I wanted to make you smile. Mission accomplished, I’d say.”
“Yes, well done. Now, calm your teenage hormones and let’s go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”
“As you wish. Thank you for trusting me to hold you and for feeling like you could let go.”
Noeul rolled over and felt Jordan spoon in behind her. Soft breath drifted across her neck.
“Is this okay?” Jordan kissed her shoulder as she asked the question.
Noeul drew the arm wrapped around her tighter against her body. She pulled Jordan’s hand into hers and cradled it to her chest. The feeling was so incredibly right that it soothed her frazzled nerves. At the same time, it scared her. “It’s more than okay.”
She kissed the knuckles she held in her hand and closed her eyes, reveling in the warmth of another body against hers. Not just a body. Jordan’s body. It was different than Aggie’s, leaner and in many ways, more defined, and radiating warmth and need. She could tell those feelings were being tempered, allowing Noeul to take comfort without the demand for more, right now. It feels like we’ve done this thousands of times. Noeul marveled at the feeling and allowed the lateness of the hour to draw her into a blissfully dreamless sleep.
