CHAPTER XXIV
(A letter from Mrs. Galusha Bangs to Miss Lulie Hallett.)
Shepheard's Hotel, Cairo, Egypt, February tenth.
MY DEAR LULIE:
Well, as you can see by this hotel letter paper, here we are, actuallyhere. Of course we are only a little way toward where we are going, butthis is Egypt, and I am beginning to believe it. Of course, I can't yetquite believe it is really truly me that is doing these wonderful thingsand seeing these wonderful places. About every other morning still Iwake up and think what a splendid dream I have had and wonder if itisn't time for me to call Primmie and see about getting breakfast. Andthen it comes to me that it isn't a dream at all and that I don't haveto get up unless I want to, that I don't have to do anything unless Iwant to, and that everything a sensible person could possibly want to doI CAN do, and have a free conscience besides, which is considerable.I don't mean that I lay a-bed much later than I used to. I never couldabide not getting up at a regular time, and so half past seven generallyfinds me ready to go down to breakfast. But, oh, it is a tremendoussatisfaction to think that I could sleep later if I ever should want to.Although, of course, I can't conceive of my ever wanting to.
Well, I mustn't fill this whole letter with nonsense about the time Iget up in the morning. There is so much to write about that I don't knowwhere to begin. I do wish you could see this place, Lulie. I wish youcould be here now looking out of my room window at the crowds in thestreet. I could fill a half dozen pages telling you about the clothesthe people wear, although I must say that I have seen some whose clothescould be all told about in one sentence, and not a very long sentenceat that. But you see all kinds of clothes, uniforms, and everyday thingssuch as we wear, and robes and fezzes and turbans and I don't know what.You know what a fez is, of course. It's shaped like a brown-bread tinand they wear it little end up with a tassel hanging down. And turbans!To me, when I used to see pictures of people wearing turbans, they werejust pictures, that's all. It didn't seem as if any one actually tied upthe top of their head in a white sheet and went parading around lookinglike a stick with a snowball stuck on the end of it. But they do, andmost of them look as dignified as can be, in spite of the snowball. AndI have seen camels, quantities of them, and donkeys, and, oh, yes, abouta million dogs, not one of them worth anything and perfectly contentedto be that way. And dirt! Oh, Lulie, I didn't believe there was as muchdirt in all creation as there is in just one of the back streets overhere. Galusha asked me the other day if I didn't wish I could go intoone of the houses and see how the people lived; he meant the poorpeople. I told him no, not if he ever expected me to get anywhere else.If the inside of one of those houses was like the outside, I was sureand certain that I should send for a case of soap and a hundred barrelsof hot water and stay there scrubbing the rest of my life. And, oh, yes,I have seen the Pyramids.
Of course, you want to know how I got along on the long voyage over. Iwrote you a few lines from Gibraltar telling you a little about that. Iwasn't seasick a single bit. I think it must be in our blood, this beingable to keep well and happy on salt water. Our family has always been tosea, as far back as my great-great-grandfather, at least, and I supposethat explains why, as soon as I stepped aboard the steamer, I felt asif I was where I belonged. And Galusha, of course, has traveled so muchthat he is a good sailor, too. So, no matter whether it was calm orblowy, he and I walked decks or sat in the lee somewhere and talked ofall that had happened and of what was going to happen. And, Lulie, Irealized over and over, as I have been realizing ever since I agreedto marry him, what a wonderful man he is and what a happy and gratefulwoman I ought to be--and am, you may be sure of that. Every day I makea little vow to myself that I will do my best not to make him ashamed ofme. Of course, no matter what I did he would think it all right, but Imean to prevent other people from being ashamed for him. That is, if Ican, but I have so much to learn.
You should see how he is treated over here, by the very finest people,I mean. It seems to me that every scientist or explorer or professor ofthis or that from China to London has been running after him, all thosethat happen to be in this part of the world, I mean. And always he isjust the same quiet, soft-spoken, gentle person he was at the Cape, butit is plain to see that when it comes to matters about his particularprofession, my husband is known and respected everywhere. Perhaps youwill think, Lulie, that I am showing off a little when I write "myhusband" like that. Well, I shouldn't wonder if I was. Nobody could helpbeing proud of him.
I had a trial the other evening. That is, it seemed as if it would bethe greatest trial that ever I had to face and my, how I dreaded it. SirErnest Brindlecombe, an English scientist, and, so Galusha says, a verygreat man, indeed, is here with his wife, and they have known Galushafor years. So nothing would do but we must come to their house todinner. He is in the English government service and they have awonderful home, more like a palace than a house--that is, what I havealways supposed a palace must be like. I felt as if I COULDN'T go, butGalusha had accepted already, so what was there to do?
Of course, you are wondering what I wore. Well, as I wrote you fromWashington, I had bought a lot of new things. The wife of ProfessorLounsbury, at the Institute, helped me pick them out, and oh, whatshould I have done without her! Galusha, of course, would have riggedme up like the Queen of Sheba, if he had had his way. I tried goingshopping with him at first, but I had to give it up. Every pretty dresshe saw, no matter if it was about as fitting for my age and weight as apink lace cap would be for a cow, he wanted to buy it right off. If theprice was high enough, that seemed to be the only thing that counted inhis mind. I may as well say right here, Lulie, that I have learnedby this time, when he and I do go shopping together, to carry thepocketbook myself. In that way we can manage to bring home something,even if it is only enough to buy a postage stamp.
But I am wandering, as usual. You want to know about the dinner at theBrindlecombes'. Well, thanks to Mrs. Lounsbury's help and judgment, Ihad two dresses to pick from, two that seemed right for such a grandaffair as I was afraid this was going to be. And I picked out a blacksilk, trimmed--
(Two pages of Mrs. Bangs' letter are omitted here)
There is more of it at the top and bottom than there was to a whole lotof evening gowns I have seen, on the steamer and in Washington, but Ican't help that. I guess I am old-fashioned and countrified, but itdoes seem to me that the place to wear a bathing suit is in the water,especially for a person of my age. However, it is a real sensible andrich-looking dress, even if it is simple, and I think you would like it.At any rate, I put it on and Galusha got into his dress suit, after Ihad helped him find the vest, and stopped him from putting one gold studand two pearl ones in his shirt. HE didn't notice, bless him, he wasthinking of everything but what he was doing at the minute, as he alwaysis.
So, both in our best bibs and tuckers, and all taut and ready for thesea, as father would have said, we were driven over to the Brindlecombehouse, or palace, whichever you call it. Mr. Brindlecombe--or Sir ErnestI suppose he should be called, although _I_ never remembered to doit, but called him Mr. Brindlecombe the whole evening--was a fleshy,bald-headed man, who looked the veriest little bit like Mr. Dearborn,the Congregational minister at Denboro, and was as pleasant and jolly ascould be. His wife was a white-haired little lady, dressed plainly--theexpensive kind of plainness, you know--and with a diamond pin thatwas about as wonderful as anything I ever saw. And I kept thinkingto myself: "Oh, what SHALL I say to you? What on EARTH shall we talkabout?" and not getting any answer from myself, either.
But I needn't have worried. She was just as sweet and gentle andevery-day as any one could be, and pretty soon it came out that we bothloved flowers. That was enough, of course, and so while Mr. Sir Ernestand Galusha were mooning along together about "dynasties" and "papyri"and "sphinxes" and "Ptolemies" and "hieroglyphics" and mummies and mercyknows what, his wife and I were having a lovely time growing roses anddahlias and lilies. She told me a new way to keep geranium roots
alivefor months after taking them up. She learned it from her gardener and ifever I get a chance I am going to try it. Well, Lulie, instead ofhaving a dreadful time I enjoyed every minute of it, and yesterday Mrs.Brindlecombe--Lady Brindlecombe, I suppose she really is--came and tookme to drive. We shopped and had a glorious afternoon. I presume likelyI said "Mercy me" and "Goodness gracious" as often as I usually do andthat they sounded funny to her. But she said "My word" and "Fancy"and they sounded just as funny to me. And it didn't make a bit ofdifference.
There was one thing that came from our dinner at the Brindlecombes'which I must tell you, because it is so very like this blessed husbandof mine. I happened to speak of Mrs. Brindlecombe's pin, the wonderfulone I just wrote about. The very next day Galusha came trotting in,bubbling over with mischief and mystery like the boy he is in so manythings, and handed me a jeweler's box. When I opened it there was aplatinum brooch with a diamond in it as big--honestly, Lulie, I believeit was as big as my thumbnail, or two thirds as big, anyway. Thishusband of mine had, so he told me, made up his mind that nobody's wifeshould own a more wonderful pin than HIS wife owned. "Because," hesaid, "nobody else has such a wonderful wife, you know. Dear me, no. No,indeed."
Well, I almost cried at first, and then I set about thinking how I couldget him to change the pin and do it without hurting his feelings. As forwearing it--why, Lulie, I would have looked like the evening train justcoming up to the depot platform. That diamond flashed like the Gould'sBluffs light. The sight of it would have made Zach Bloomer feel at home.And when I found out what it cost! My soul and body! Well, I used allthe brains I had and strained them a little, I'm afraid, but at lastI made him understand that perhaps something a tiny bit smaller wouldlook, when I wore it in the front of my dress, a little less like abonfire on a hill and we went back to the jewelry store together. Theupshot of it was that I have a brooch--lots smaller, of course--and aring, either of which is far, far too grand for a plain woman like me,and which I shall wear only on the very stateliest of state occasionsand NEVER, I think, both at the same time, and I saved Galusha a goodmany dollars besides.
So, you see, Lulie, that he is the same impractical, absent-minded, dearlittle man he was down there in East Wellmouth, even though he is sucha famous scientist and discoverer. I think I got the best salve formy conscience from knowing that, otherwise I should always feel that Inever should have let him marry me. In most respects I am not a bitthe wife he should have, but I hope I am of some use in his practicalaffairs and that at last I can keep him from being imposed upon. I try.For instance, on the steamer his cap blew overboard. I wish you couldhave seen the cap the ship's steward sold him. The thing he bought atRas Beebe's store was stylish and subdued compared to it. And I wish youcould have seen that steward when I got through talking to him. Everyday smooth-talking scamps, who know him by reputation, come with schemesfor getting him to invest in something, or with pitiful tales aboutbeing Americans stranded far away from home. I take care of these sharksand they don't bite me, not often. I told one shabby, red-nosed rascalyesterday that, so far as he was concerned, no doubt it was tough to bestranded with no way of getting to the States, as he called them; butthat I hadn't heard yet how the States felt about it. So I help Galushawith money matters and see that he dresses as he should and eats whatand when he should, and try, with Professor King, his chief assistantwith the expedition, to keep his mind from worry about little things. Heseems very happy and I certainly mean to keep him so, if I can.
We talk about you and Nelson and Captain Jethro every day. The news inyour last letter, the one we found at Gibraltar, was perfectly splendid.So you are to be married in June. And Galusha and I can't come to yourwedding; that is a shame. By the time we get back you will be so longsettled in the cottage at the radio station that it won't seem new atall to you. But it will be very new to us and we shall just love to seeit and the new furniture and your presents and everything. We both thinkyour father's way of taking it perfectly splendid. I am glad he stillwon't have a word to say to Marietta Hoag or her crowd of simpletons.Galusha says to tell your father that he must not feel in the leastobliged to him for his help in exposing Marietta as a cheat. He says itwas very good fun, really, and didn't amount to much, anyway. You and Iknow it did, of course, but he always talks that way about anything hedoes. And your thanks and Captain Jethro's pleased him very much.
Primmie writes that...
(A page omitted. See Primmie's letter.)
Please keep an eye on her and see that she doesn't set fire to the houseor feed the corn to the cat and the liver to the hens, or some suchfoolishness. And don't let her talk you deaf, dumb and blind.
There! this letter is so long that I think it will have to go in atrunk, by express or freight or something. One week more and westart for upper Egypt, by water, up the Nile, at first, then on byautomobiles. Yes, little American automobiles. Galusha says we shalluse camels very little, for which I say "Hurrah, hurrah!" I cannot seemyself navigating a camel--not for long, and it IS such a high perchto fall from. Our love to you and Nelson and to your father. And oh, sovery much to yourself. And we DO wish we might come to your wedding.We shall be there in spirit--and that doesn't mean Marietta's kind ofspirits, either.
Your affectionate friend,
MARTHA BANGS.
(A letter from Miss Primrose Cash to Mrs. Galusha Bangs.)
East Wellmouth, Massachusetts, United States of America. Januaryseventh.
DEAR MRS. MARTHA:
I take my pen in hand to write that I am first rate and fine and dandyand hope you and Mr. Galusha are the same, although I am homesick forthe sight of you and hope you ain't. I mean homesick. By this time Icalculate you must be somewheres over in Egypt or Greek or China or landknows where. I am sending this letter to the address you give me and ifyou don't get it before you get there you will then, I hope and trust.And I hope, too, you had a good voyage and was not washed overboard orseasick like Captain Ephraim Small's son, Frankie D., who had it happento him up on the fish banks, you remember. I mean the washing overboardhappened to him for, of course, I don't know whether he was seasick ornot, though I presume likely, for I always am, no matter if it's carmas a milpond, but anyhow they never found his body, poor soul. I presumelikely you want to hear the news from around here at East Wellmouth.Well, there ain't none, but I will try and tell all there is that Ican think of. The hens are well and Lucy Larkum is fine and dandy andappytite, my savin' soul. I tell him he will eat me out of house andhome, though I realize it ain't neither of them mine, but yours, Mrs.Martha. Captain Jethro is doing fine. For a spell after the seants whereyour husband made a fool out of Maryetter Hoag and Raish Pulcifer tothank the Lord, he was reel kind of feeble and Lulie and me and Zach wasworried. But he is swell now and all hands is talking about his makingup with Nelse Howard and agreeing for him and Lulie to get married andlive over to the Radyo stashun pretty soon I presume likely, for theweding is to be held in June so Zach says. At first go off, Captain Jethhe calculated maybe he would heave up, I mean his job tending light,and go live along with them, but after he got feeling better he said hewouldent but would stick to the ship and keep on the course long as hecould stay aflote. That's what Zach says he said and I tell you I ammity glad, because if I was Lulie and Nelse I wouldent want anybody evenif it was my own father coming to live along with me and bossing things,because Captain Jeth couldent no more stop bossing than he could stoppulling his whiskers and he won't never stop that long as he ain'tparulised. So he will live here along with Zach and them two will tendlight and Lulie can come over and see her pa every little spell and theycan telyfone back and forth between times. And she and Nelse have beenup to Boston to pick out fernichure and ain't they enjoying it, my lordof isryel. Lulie is about as loony over getting married as ever I seeanybody unless it was you and Mr. Bangs, Mrs. Martha. I seen RaishPulcifer down street yesterday and he said give you his love when Iwrote. I told him I guessed likely you could get along without anyspecial love of his and he said neve
r mind I could keep it myself then.I told him I could get along without it a considerable sight betternI could with it. He is as sassy and fresh as ever and more so to onaccount of Mr. Cabot paying him so much money for his stock. And the newhotel is going to be bilt over on the land by the Crick and all handssays it's going to be the best in the state. Raish has got a whole newrigout of clothes and goes struting around as if everything was due tohis smartness. Zach says Raish Pulcifer is running for the job of firstmate to the Allmighty but he don't hardly calculate he will be elected.Maryetter Hoag is going to heave up speritulism so Tamson Black toldme she heard and going to help in a millunary store over to Onset nextsummer. Maybe it's so and maybe it ain't, because Tamson is such anawful liar you can't depend on nothing she says. Zach says if an eeltried to follow one of Tamson's yarns he would get his backboan insuch a snarl it would choak him to death. And Zach says he calculatesMaryetter will take little Cherry Blossom in silent partener. Zach comesover to see me sometimes nights after supper and we set in the kitchenand talk and talk about you and Mr. Galusha mostly, but about Lulie andNelse and Captain Jeth, too, and about everybody else we happen to runafoul of or that comes handy. Zach is real good company, although hedoes call me Posy and Pink and Geranyum and dear land knows what andkeeps his talk agoing so nobody else can't scarcely get a word inbetween breaths. He says tell you that he will keep a weather eye onme and see that I didn't get the lockjor nor swallow my mouthorgan nornothing. I tell him nobody could get lockjor where he was on account ofwatching how he keeps his own jor agoing. He means well but he is kindof ignorant Zach is. Speaking of weather reminds me that the northeastgale we had last week blowed the trellis off the back part of the houseand ripped the gutter off the starboard side of the barn. I had JimFletcher put it on again and he charged me three dollars, the old skin.I ain't paid him yet and he can whisle for his money till he whisles onedollar off the bill anyhow. There, Mrs. Martha, I have got to stop. Luceis around screeching and carrying on for his dinner till you would thinkhe hadent had anything for a month instead of only since breakfast. Iwill write again pretty soon. Lots of love to you and Mr. Bangs and dotell me when you go to ride on a camel. That would be some sight, I willsay, and Zach he says so, too, but he bets you can do it if you setout to and so do I. Anyhow, you can if Mr. Galusha skippers the cruisebecause that man can do anything. And to think that I used to calculatehe had the dropsy or was a undertaker or a plain fool or something.Well, you can't never tell by a person's looks, can you, Mrs. Martha.Zach says so, too.
Yours truly,
PRIMROSE CASH.
P.S. Have you seen Mr. Bangs dig up any mummies yet? How he can do itand keep out of jale, my saving soul, I don't know. To say nothing ofmaybe catching whatever it was they died of.
P.S. Won't you please try and see if you can't have a tintype took whenyou ride the camel and send me one?
(Extracts from a letter from Mr. Galusha Bangs to Mr. Augustus Cabot.)
. . . And so, as you see, Cousin Gussie, we are getting on well withthe work of preparation and shall be ready to leave soon. Our excavatingthis season will be but preliminary, of course owing to our late start.I am enjoying it all immensely and it is wonderfully exhilarating andinspiring to be back once more in the field. But my greatest inspirationis my wife. She is a remarkable woman. A most extraordinary woman,I assure you. How in the world I managed to exist without hercompanionship and guidance and amazingly practical help all theseyears I cannot imagine. And I did not really exist, of course, I merelyblundered along. She is--well, I really despair of telling you howwonderful she is. And when I think how much of my present happiness Iowe to you, Cousin Gussie, I...
* * * * *
But the greatest miracle, the miraculousness--I don't know there is sucha word, but there should be--of which sets me wondering continually, isthat she should have been willing to marry an odd, inconsequential sortof stick like me. And I find myself saying over and over: "WHAT have Iever done to deserve it?..."
Mr. Cabot was reading the letter from which these extracts were made toa relative, a Miss Deborah Cabot, known to him and the family as "ThirdCousin Deborah." At this point in the reading he looked up and laughed.
"By Jove!" he exclaimed. "Isn't that characteristic? Isn't that likehim? Well, I told him once that he was magnificent. And he is, not as Imeant it then, but literally."
Third Cousin Deborah sniffed through her thin nostrils. "Well, perhaps,"she admitted, "but such a performance as this marriage of his is alittle too much. _I_ can't understand him, Augustus. I confess he isquite beyond ME."
Cabot smiled. "In many things--and possibly the things that count most,after all, Deborah," he observed, "I have come to the conclusion thatold Galusha is far beyond the majority of us."
Galusha the Magnificent Page 25
