Stinking.
Some days, I felt like that stench went soul deep, but only Link made me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew he’d done some terrible things in his time. Knew he’d probably done a lot worse than what I’d done tonight, but somehow, his soul remained golden.
I felt that.
Every time he touched me, every time he looked at me, I felt that. As well as his love for me. It was clear in his patience, evident with every measured touch, and every day he was supportive of me.
“I could never hate you.”
The words were simple, but the context was anything but.
My father was dead.
At Link’s hands. Not mine.
“I couldn’t let you do it,” he rasped.
I should have known he wouldn’t. Should have prepared myself, but instead, I’d let my father get into my head, had let him worm his way inside when I should have acted instead of dithering.
As a result, Link had made the kill shot.
A shot I’d been planning since the first time my father had abused me.
The steam misted over the mirror, but I didn’t bother to wipe my hand over the glass. He stepped toward me, so big and so strong that he should have scared me. Should have had my shoulders cowering, my body twisting away from him as I tried to escape, but escaping Link was the last thing I wanted.
Link was my soul mate.
His hands moved to cup the balls of my shoulders, and I tilted my head to the side, letting my cheek rest on one of them. He released a sigh at that, and I could sense his relief.
It always amazed me how this man, this big, rough and ready biker, could be so careful around me. After the car crash, he’d treated me with kid gloves for a while, especially with my cut lip, broken bones, and whiplash. Ever since, he looked at me like he knew he could lose me. Which killed me.
For weeks, months even, we’d been pussyfooting around things, and I knew that was more my fault than his.
I’d let things go too far.
That he thought I might hate him was indicative of the truth.
“I’m ready.”
My words had his brows arching. “Huh? For what?”
Carefully twisting around, because I knew I’d strain my neck otherwise, I moved so that I was no longer facing the vanity but facing him. He reached up, cupped my chin, so completely in the dark that I knew I couldn’t love him more.
People would criticize me for keeping him on the line this long, for daring to be traumatized by what had happened in my past, but this man was the only person’s opinion I gave a fuck about.
He’d given me time to heal, time to recognize that he was like no other man on God’s green earth. His patience, his honor, his respect, all of it made me love him even more than I’d thought was possible.
He was a gift.
It was time I showed him that.
Staring up at him, I reached for the rosary around his neck, tangling my fingers up in it as I told him, “For you. For us.”
His eyes flared wide, and it almost amused me when he shook his head. “No way. Not now. Not after…”
“Yes way. Yes now. Yes after,” I told him calmly.
“You hate me,” he rasped, pain in his eyes.
Confused, my brow furrowed. “Huh? I feel the exact opposite of that.”
“You’re punishing me for taking your father out.”
When he took a step back, I’d admit, I’d never foreseen this.
Blinking at him, I took a step forward, and carried on moving toward him as he moved away, out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
“Don’t do this,” he pleaded.
“Don’t do what?” I countered huskily, his level of ‘torn up’ taking this whole thing to another level.
I’d thought I loved him before. Now? This turned into outright adoration. “Don’t love you? Don’t need to take this to the next phase? I want you, Link. I’ve never not wanted you, but…” I couldn’t say a burden had been taken off my shoulders now my father was dead, but I couldn’t deny that I felt lighter somehow. Definitely felt like I could breathe a little easier.
Knowing my boogeyman was gone, for good, it made the next couple of steps in my future seem all the more joyful.
I was free of his taint.
At long goddamn last.
Because he was a visual creature, I unknotted the towel from around my breasts and as it sank to the ground, I knew how deeply he was buried in his head because he didn’t even look at me, didn’t smirk and say, “There are those sugar tits I love so much.”
He was frozen.
In time and place.
So it was my duty, I figured, to defrost him.
I moved toward him, not stopping until I could slide my hands around his waist, not stopping until I was bare before him, as naked as the day I was born while he was dressed.
The imagery suited me.
I felt like I was supplicating myself before him, thanking him for everything he’d done for me.
Maybe I’d wanted to be the one to pull the trigger, but knowing Father was dead without me having to sully myself was something I was infinitely grateful for.
I just wished his soul wasn’t bearing the burden, and I knew he needed to hear me tell him that.
As I pushed into him, I whispered, “I love you, Link. I’m not mad at you. I could never hate you. I’m grateful. For everything you’ve—”
“Fuck, you’re breaking up with me.”
Okay, that was taking shit too far.
I pushed away from him, just moving back enough that I could shove at his chest, not stopping until he was falling back onto the bed. Before he could get up, scowling all the while, I crawled up on him, not letting him scramble off the bed. I pinned his shoulders down, glared at him, and then and only then, did I see it.
A kernel of amusement.
“You prick!” I shrieked.
His lips twitched. “A little.”
“No, you fucker. You almost had me going there.” I scowled harder. “You thought I wanted to break up?”
Around that kernel of amusement was a glimmer of truth. I knew he was covering up his insecurities, and the truth was, I knew exactly how insecure my man was. You’d never know it, would never see it, but I wasn’t just anyone, was I? I knew him better than anyone else, and that I’d inadvertently fed his insecurities when he worked so fucking hard to shore mine up, just about killed me.
When he reached up, rasping, “There are my sugar tits,” just like I’d known he would, my heart stopped pounding like crazy.
That alone told me, somehow, things were back on track.
I blinked at him, then bit my lip as he fondled my nipple. When penetration was off the cards, you got to know somebody’s every hot spot, and I knew his as well as he knew mine.
But today was going to be simple.
Today my man was going to pop my cherry and claim me as his in the only way he hadn’t claimed me yet.
When his fingers slipped up to my throat, and he cupped the back of my neck, I wasn’t surprised when he asked, “You were joking, weren’t you?”
“What about any of this is funny?”
“The timing is weird—”
“The timing is perfect,” I countered, and because we were talking too goddamn much, I reached down between us and shaped his dick. “I want this. Inside me. I want you. Inside me.”
“Want that more than I want my next breath, sugar tits.”
“Then what are you waiting for? I want to be yours.”
“You already are, Lily.” His voice turned urgent. “You know that, don’t you?”
“You showed me every single way you could,” I agreed. “But I know you’re a caveman too from time to time.”
Confirming that, I shrieked when he spun us around, and the bed bounced as he was suddenly on top of me and I was flat on my back. The rough leather of his cut, the soft fabric of his Henley, the coarse denim of his jeans… all of it felt like heaven and hell against my na
ked flesh. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt them, of course, but it was the first time I’d felt it in this situation.
A situation I knew was going to end a certain way.
I gulped, but he saw my nerves and his eyes softened as he reached down and joined us in the sweetest, most loving of kisses imaginable. I could feel tears prickle my eyes, could feel emotion choke me as our mouths connected just as our hearts did.
Everything about us was in sync. That was why his earlier reaction had surprised me. He knew me better than he knew a combustible engine… Christ, I needed to show my man what he meant to me.
Even though the leather and the denim were rough against my skin, I hitched my legs on his hips and tugged him closer to me. My arms slipped around his shoulders as I clung to him, holding on with every ounce of strength in me as he thrust his tongue into my mouth, languidly making love to me that way, stealing my breath, taking my heart with him along for the ride.
My nerves bled away, my anxiety and the day’s adrenaline buzz disappearing with it. When we were together, nothing else mattered. Nothing.
I groaned as his pace sped up, and I knew that even if he’d felt unsure about my motives before, he recognized my intent, recognized what I needed from him even if I wasn’t altogether certain.
He pulled away, letting his lips drop down to kiss the corner of my mouth, over to the crest of my cheekbone, my eyelid, my temple. He anointed them all with a kiss as he rasped, “Ah Lily, what the fuck do you do to me?”
My smile, when it came, was smoky and overwhelmed. “Love you?”
He shuddered at that, before he rasped, “I wake up every day wondering if today is going to be the day you realize what you’ve let into your life.”
My brow puckered, and my smile faded. “Why would you think that?”
“Because I’m no good, and today proved that.”
“Today proved that you’ll fight for me when I’m too weak to fight for myself. I’m not going anywhere, Link. You’re true to me, and I’m true to you.”
“I see all those preppy fuckers around town eying you up—”
“Like the club snatch doesn’t eye you up?”
He sniffed. “What kind of fool wants a burger when he’s got a steak at home?”
“Paul Newman, eat your heart out,” I retorted. “You’re my steak, Link. How the hell don’t you know that?”
He pushed his forehead against mine, once again stunning me with his vulnerability.
Earlier on, he’d nearly carted me from Sarah, one of my family’s victims, and his brother’s funerals, then he’d turned Captain America on me, letting me have at my father but taking over when doubt had crept in, and when my dick dad had made me think shit about my soul that I didn’t know I cared about.
Link had taken the burden onto himself, well, it was time for me to share it.
“Link?” I rasped, my hands digging into his back, kneading his cut as much as the supple leather would allow.
“What?”
“Will you marry me?”
He stiffened at that, then his eyes flared wide as he pulled back. “Huh?”
“You heard me.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m sure I didn’t.”
I heaved a sigh. “You got water in your ears or something?” I grumbled. “Where’s my cocky lover, huh? My pain in the ass—”
His mouth was on mine again, this time it was Link. Not the man who’d shown a side of himself I saw rarely, one that made me want to cosset him because I wanted to know every aspect of his nature, his personality.
But this was the man I knew well.
He took my mouth like the rampaging Viking he was, thrusting his tongue against mine like he’d be thrusting into my pussy soon. Rather than scare me, it filled me with fire. I couldn’t be scared of Link. I just couldn’t. I knew his body too well, mine knew his weaknesses and strengths, and he knew my triggers so I didn’t have to worry about him overtaking me. Not that I thought he would. Just, my insecurities were as overwhelming as his.
The weight on me was one I recognized, the kiss I knew, the dick that burrowed into my softness was one I’d held and touched and stroked and sucked.
Every part of this man was registered and filed in my brain, and there was no fear to be had. No fear whatsoever.
He pulled away from me, harder this time, and when he flung himself off the bed, I gaped at him, but not for long. My gape turned from confused and concerned to hungry as he stripped down within seconds, baring every delicious muscled inch of him to my gaze.
When he was naked, he crawled back on the bed, and this time, when he settled into me, his hardness met my softness for real.
It wasn’t the first time he’d done this, wasn’t the first time he’d rocked his hips, letting the tip of the glans burrow into me, rock against my clit. Maybe because I knew him so well, this all went so easily. I’d expected to be scared, for the memories to hit me. I’d expected for terror to flood my veins, for the past to shadow the present, but it didn’t.
If anything, I could only focus on him.
Focus on us.
That was all I knew, all I saw.
I sucked in a breath as he nipped my bottom lip before he moved down to my tits, sucking on the nipples, moving further down, kissing my belly, making my skin quiver, before he veered toward my pussy.
This was safe ground, solid ground. I lifted one leg, raised my foot and rested it on his shoulders as he started to eat me out. I groaned as his mouth worked its magic on me, sucking on my clit with the expertise of a virtuoso, one who specialized in me. I groaned again as he slurped on me like I was a feast, thrust his tongue into me, reminding me of what was going to happen today before he retreated to my clit and sucked down on me hard and fast.
Two fingers slipped into my gate, and though I flinched at first because he surprised me, I settled in for the ride. He’d been scissoring his fingers inside me for a while, getting me used to a presence there, and I moaned when a third made an appearance, and the stretch was a little more intense than I expected.
I dug my hips into the bed, letting him have at me, letting him taste me and prepare me, ready me for him and what he was going to gift me, before he gave me no choice but to come.
His endless licks and flicks to my clit had me shooting off like a rocket, and I soared high and hard, shrieking loudly as he raked his fingers upward, touching the front wall of my pussy, jerking me into sensation that was ground we’d covered long ago.
His fingers carried on scissoring, his mouth carried on tormenting me, and I let him, I let him do what he wanted, do what he thought I needed because he knew my body better than I did.
I’d come to him ashamed and embarrassed, uncomfortable with myself and sex. Fumbled jilling sessions under the sheets was how I’d gone to him, but now? I was open and proud of my body, unashamed and capable of glorying in what we did together.
When he took me to the edge, yet again, I moaned when he stopped. I didn’t even have it in me to be scared when he positioned himself, his dick at my pussy, the thick, blunt tip pushing into the small, soft slit that belonged to him.
His eyes were on mine, narrowed and fierce as I opened up to him, and I didn’t let go of the connection, made sure he saw what I was feeling and thinking, made sure he sensed my lack of panic.
And in the grand scheme of things, the terror I’d expected wasn’t there.
Because it was Link.
Because I was his.
And because he was mine.
I sucked in a breath when it grew a little painful, but the pain wasn’t a trigger. If anything, I was relieved when he pushed through, thrusting into me until I could feel him all the way inside me.
Gulping at the sensation of fullness, of thickness, I watched his eyes close, his head tip back, and his face grow tense. I knew why too.
Heaven.
He was in heaven.
A heaven I gave him.
I bit my lip at the sight, needing him on
top of me, needing to be closer, but also needing to give him this moment. He’d been waiting on this for months, waiting and waiting, never knowing when I’d be ready, so if he could be patient with me, I sure as hell could be for him.
Then, his head rocked forward and he moved atop me, like he’d read my mind. He hitched my legs higher around him, rocking my pelvis up so that I could take him better. The position changed things, I wasn’t sure what, but suddenly, he was deeper and there was no pain.
I blinked up at him, mouthing the word, “Wow.”
He didn’t laugh, didn’t tease, if anything, he was unlike Link. A nerve ticked in his temple, in his jaw too, and the strain on his face told me just how hard this was on him.
Just how much this was affecting him.
Which was the cherry on the cake for me.
This meant the world to him, because I meant the world to him.
I felt honored and cherished and loved.
Sensations I’d never expected to feel at this moment.
I reached up, joining our mouths, before I breathed into him, “I need you, Link. I want you. I love you. Please, be mine?”
He brought our foreheads together again, but it was so unlike earlier that it was like night and day. He rocked his on mine before he started to move his hips. His whole body was tense, the exact opposite of my playful lover, and I registered how much it was taking out of him to hold back. Not to give into his desires.
Well, I couldn’t have that.
I dug my hands into his butt, wanting to give him everything he needed from me, and I knew I’d made shit real when I grabbed his cheeks and spread them, my fingers digging toward his butthole—my man’s true hot spot.
But he shook his head. “You’re too small,” he ground out.
“No. I’m not.” I rocked into him, forcing this, forcing him to move, to claim what he needed when I slipped the tip of one finger inside him.
And when I did, he lit up.
I truly knew what a rocket flight felt like.
He’d taken me to the moon and back more than Elon Musk ever could, but sweet fuck, that was nothing to now. He whipped us up into a storm, into a frenzy that was impossible to match, and through it all, he grounded me, filled me with him, until I didn’t know where he started and I ended.
Cruz : A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 5) Page 14
