by A. S. Koutso
More tears welled up in my eyes.
“But.”
“Perhaps I can show you what you need to see.”
What the hell does that mean?
As confused as ever I followed her outside and into the cellar.
It was dark and rather eerie. The moisture from the floor was dampening the wood above us making it smell.
“What exactly are you looking for down here?”
**Squeak**
As she opened an incredibly old and heavy door.
Ok? I’ve never seen that before.
“Child. You must be silent.”
“But I didn't say anything.”
What is she reading my mind or something? How am I not supposed to be freaked out by this place?
“Do you believe you are old enough to handle the responsibilities that come with knowing what is needed from you in this world?”
“Well, I am seventeen now. Which makes me pretty much an adult. So yes, I do believe so.”
Weird question but ok.
“Do you know my name?”
Her name?
What is it that everyone calls her?
Usually the townsfolk call her my lady, but that's not her name, it's simply a polite way of addressing her. Harland calls her Mother, but I’ve never heard her name before. Strange.
“No, I’m sorry I can’t say I do.” I stared at her questioning how that's even possible.
Maybe she's like me. I never had a naming ceremony, so I must not have a name, but she is a proper lady. She must have one.
“My name is Cara. Do you know what that means child?”
“Not particularly, no.” At this point what does any name mean?
“Cara is an older word for friend, I am your friend. I have been watching over you since you were an infant, from a distance for a couple of years I must say. The day you wandered into this very cellar was no coincidence. This I can promise you.”
Ok, I don’t get it. So, she is my friend. Yes, I agree, but what does the meaning of her name have to do with her watching me? Better yet why bring me to a creepy old cellar to tell me her name.
“Please my dear, focus. What comes next is especially important.”
“You wish to remember your dreams. I can help, but before I do, I must warn you, these are not dreaming, you will see them as nightmares, but you must look past that. It is far more complex than a simple nightmare.”
“Do you wish to proceed?”
Proceed. Strange word to choose.
“Yes.”
Was it as simple as that one word?
What came next was bizarre and mesmerizing all at the same time.
Chapter 2
The day Cara opened that old wooden door was the day my life began.
"Go now child, walk into the darkness."
"Wait! You're not coming with me?"
"This is your journey; my spirit cannot enter."
Her spirit?
Cara was like a mother to me, so I had more trust in her than I did myself. I walked past the door and into the dark opening.
Rushing wind flew past me, my skin began to tingle. I looked back to find Cara drifting in an open-door frame high above me.
Was I falling? Or flying? I started to panic. I heard the words "Follow me!" Zip past my ear, but who was it?
"Cara! I'm scared! Please get me out of here."
I could hear nothing. I look back to where I once saw the door. She was gone, the door was shut.
What am I supposed to do? Am I trapped in here? Will I simply fall forever? No. I refuse to believe that is what I'm meant to do here.
I need to find that voice, but how?
Calming your mind takes years of practice. In my case it was get lost in an unknown void or simply calm down.
I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing. Forcing myself to concentrate on the silence around me.
THERE.
Right below me was a tiny shimmering light.
"Please wait! How do I get to you?"
When I looked closer it was a small human like creature.
"Follow me!" It shouted.
How am I supposed to get down there? It feels like I'm constantly falling yet I can't catch up.
I saw the small creature start approaching me.
"You need to use your wings silly."
My wings? What wings?
"Hey! Wait!" I shouted as it started to fly away from me.
"I don't have wings!"
"Sure you do."
How can I have wings? I started to concentrate on my body. Where would wings be placed? Then I felt the small scars on my back move. That's it. I remember now.
I closed my eyes and moved the muscles in my back around the scars. A jolt of pain ran through my body like I've never felt before. I started twisting and turning in pure agony.
In the distance I could hear a baby crying through my screams. I had to silence myself.
"Hello?"
"Is there anyone there!?!" I screamed out.
Nothing. I looked straight ahead of me to where the sound was coming from and I saw a yellow glowing light. Instinctively I started to walk toward it. As I got closer the light grew.
Another shot of piercing pain rushed into my head.
I heard it again. It's a baby crying. Why?
I looked deep into the warm light this time.
There it was a baby no more than a couple weeks old, lying face down on a table. Crying out for its mother.
What is this? I wondered.
"That is you." The creature replied as if it was reading my mind.
Me? How can that be me?
Thinking back to what Cara told me before this all started, it will seem like a nightmare, but I have to look past it.
There was a man approaching with a large jagged knife.
“What are you doing? Stop that!”
“Get away from her!” I screamed from the top of my lungs. He couldn't hear me. No of course not, it's not really happening, this must be a memory. That creature said the child is me.
I watched speechless as the blade cut through the flesh of my back. At first, the baby was screaming but as the knife cut, she fell silent.
I must have passed out from the pain.
The man continued to cut deeper and deeper until he saw the white of my bone. It was pointed sticking out of my body. Shaped almost like a chicken's wing. Wait, does that mean the creature was serious. I actually have wings?
A terrible sound rang through my ears as the man started sawing the bone. I felt sick to my stomach, I was definitely going to puke.
“GET ME OUT OF HERE!” Screaming in disgust the door appeared before me.
I swung it open and ran as fast as I could. My eyes were shut, and I never wanted to open them again. The horrific image of that poor child will be permanently scarred into my brain. How could any mother let their child go through that pain? Why did I see that? All these questions were running through my mind. I never stopped to look where I was until I landed face-first into the wall.
Groggy and shaken, I woke up in my bed fully clothed. What happened? She appeared at my bedside with a glass of water.
“How are you feeling?” she asked with a worried smile on her face.
“I don’t know honestly. What happened to me?”
“Darling you ran so fast you smacked your poor head right into the wall and passed out. You had me worried sick, you’ve been out cold for over a day.”
A whole day? Was that all just a nightmare then, made up from my imagination? What was her name again… Cara, that's right let's test out this theory?
“Cara?”
“Yes dear? Did you need something? I’m sure by now you must be starving, I’ll start on lunch right away!” as she got up and started skipping to the kitchen without a care in the world.
It was real then. Everything I saw was real. I have so many questions, but where to begin and who to ask? Would Cara have the answers, was she even there. She cla
ims to have been watching me since I was a young child, but a baby?
“Please stop, I’m really not in the mood for games right now,” I said in a rather mean tone of voice. She stopped mid-step and turned.
“I need answers, I don’t know what happened in that room, but I have questions and the only person I know to ask would be you. Can you help me?” I asked as sincerely as I could.
“That all depends. What did you see?”
I pat the side of my bed calling her to sit next to me as I explained what happened in that dark void.
“No. I’m afraid I was not there for that memory.”
I sighed, so now what?
“But!” She proclaimed with an eerie smile.
“I know where you can find the doctor.”
Chapter 3
I had never left Ballymacahara village before, other than to bathe in the lake. What was I to expect? I was so young and naive at the time.
Little did I know there was a whole world waiting for me.
I was to purchase a bag from the local tailor to pack only my essentials. What were my essentials anyway? Some clothes, maybe some food? I will definitely need some coin, but where will I sleep? In the dirt!?! That’ll be fun. I felt my face twist into a sarcastic grin, I guess I've been so spoiled that I've forgotten what it was like to sleep outside. Not exactly looking forward to that, oh well it will be part of the adventure.
“Please take me with you, I always dreamt of going on a big adventure. IT WOULD BE SO FUN; we can play games while we walk through the haunted woods. Maybe even sleep under the stars! Oh please, take me with you!!” Harland begged as I was packing.
“But if we both leave who will stay here to take care of your mum?” I asked trying to convince him it wasn’t a good idea. I couldn’t let him come anyway. I can’t take care of myself, how am I supposed to watch over him at the same time?
“That's true, I start my new job at the blacksmiths in a couple of days! Now that will be fun!” he proclaimed with a smile from ear to ear.
“Good! I need someone I trust to make me the best sword gold can buy!”
“Oh ya? Is that so… how much gold we are talking here because last I checked you had maybe 3 copper pieces to your name.” He teased sticking out his tongue.
“Well, I’m not going to flaunt my coin. It's all hidden.” glaring at him for dramatic effect.
“HAHAHA YA RIGHT! If you had any coin stashed away it would be spent on yummy pies and pastries!”
Pfft! Kid thinks he's so funny. I couldn't help but smile. I’m going to miss him so much.
“Before you set off please come see me in the cellar. I need to show you something.” Cara waved me to the door.
I finished packing up and went down to meet her.
The sun was shining through the cracks of the cellar door, Cara was standing by the far wall. I’m not sure but I think that's where the door was placed. Although looking around I don't see it anywhere.
“Come over here dear I need to teach you how to open your spirit door.”
My what now! Hesitantly I walked over.
“In order to master this technique, you need to calm your mind and imagine a door.”
“That's simple, and what exactly does this door do?” I asked sarcastically.
“Please take this seriously. You need to learn how to summon your spirit realm, this will help you understand who you are and what the world expects of you.”
Ok, no pressure.
“I need to ask. Can everyone do this? I’ve never heard of this before.”
“No. You cannot tell anyone else about this. It's important to take this secret to your grave.” This time there was no smile on her face, she was dead serious.
So, what does this mean exactly?
“What am I?”
“You are the last known descendant of the goddess Danu.”
“Ha! Ya ok sure.” I started to walk back to the cellar door, she clearly had the wrong girl. I was an orphan thrown to the streets. I doubt I'm related to a “goddess”.
“If you leave now, I will not teach you, and the questions you have will never be answered.” She shouted in an aggressive tone.
“I live in this awful world to help you. Do not turn your back on me now.”
Stopping dead in my tracks I slowly turned my head.
“And where exactly would you be living if you didn't have to take care of me? A palace? No perhaps a magical world with fairies and unicorns.” I growled.
I felt my blood boiling.
“Never. Not once, did I ask you for help? You took me in, remember? I didn't beg to stay. If you didn't want to live in this world, why stay?” My hands clenched in a fist squeezing so hard blood was dripping onto my fingertips.
“Calm yourself child!”
“NO!” I screamed.
The air around grew stale. The water from the floorboards started to rise.
“Please child look around you, look what you are doing.” She begged in a frightened tone.
“I am not a child anymore. Stop calling me that!”
“Ok. Now please look around. You need to control yourself before you hurt someone.” Again, she was begging me to stop but at this point, I had lost control.
“ENOUGH! If you go on this rant you will do something you regret!” she shouted.
“Oh? And what is that?” The water turned from droplets to frozen daggers.
In a low and calm tone, she explained. “You will kill me.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks and my body went limp. What is wrong with me? Kill her? The woman who raised me. How could she say that? I love her.
My face turned red and started to boil. My eyes tearing uncontrollably. What just happened? Why was I so mad?
“Please Cara! Forgive me. I don't understand what just happened. I could never hurt you!” I cried out to her as my body fell to the ground.
She ran over to catch me. Lying in her lap sobbing frantically, she stroked my hair chanting over and over “It’s alright. It’ll be ok.” in the softest voice she could muster.
Slowly the tears stopped, and I started to feel better.
“I’m so sorry Cara, I was freaked out and then I started to lose my temper. I’m not entirely sure what happened after that. I think I blacked out.”
“That's ok, I understand. It’s not every day you're told your ancestor was a god,” she said grinning.
“So, you were serious about that?”
“Yes. Very much so. I was sent to the human realm to teach you all about your heritage, and to train you to become a Fae warrior to save our people.”
“Fae?” I said twisting my face in curiosity.
“Yes, Fae. That is what you are, we were blessed with the powers of nature. You are not human. The scars on your back are from the wings that were taken from you as a child.” she explained.
Still, I wasn't completely sold on this whole other world.
“So, if I’m not a human then that means that you're Fae as well?”
“Exactly.”
“And Harland? He's human though, right?”
“Not quite. Harland is a changeling.”
“You’ll need to explain. I don’t know what that is.”
She sighed with a smile. I was rather naive at the time.
“I’m sure you’ve heard the tales of some children being stolen at birth by fairies and replaced with demon children who look exactly like them,” she explained.
“Well, the tales aren't completely fake. The children that are proclaimed to be demons are in fact another race of Fae.”
“So, wait a second.” I interrupted.
“What happens to the human children?”
“That depends on the Fae that takes them, some have an infatuation with humankind and steal the children to raise them and love them as if they are their own. Others may take the babies and raise them to be servants, and then there are the dark Fae who steal the children to perform rituals”
“And Harla
nd? How did he come to you? Did you steal a child?” I asked but did I want to know the true answer? In my heart, I knew Cara was a good woman but was that true?
“No, I did not. I found Harland left on the doorsteps of a church.”
Phew, I knew she wouldn't steal a baby. She continued
“The church is the reason we Fae live in hiding. A long time ago we lived in peace with the humans, we shared our gifts with them to make their lives easier. For example, during the rainy seasons, we would help them save their crops, and when the winters were too harsh to find food, we would show them where to hunt.”
“So, what happened? Why are you hiding now, it seems like they depended on the Fae.”
“Yes, they did. Until the church deemed us demons sent to earth by Balor the demon god to corrupt the human race.”
“Which wasn’t the case though right?” I had to ask.
“Of course not! The Fae lived and ruled this world far before humans came into existence. Don’t be foolish, child.”
“Ok, I’m sorry I offended you.”
“It’s not a matter of offending me, these are your people. Do you think you are a demon? Or Harland is he a demon?”
That little boy? Evil? He's afraid of his own shadow, I can’t see an ounce of evil in him.
“No,” I said shamefully
