Dog’s Green Earth
A Golden Retriever Mystery
Neil S. Plakcy
Samwise Books
www.mahubooks.com
This cozy mystery is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
Copyright 2019 by Neil S. Plakcy
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
Published by Samwise Books
Formatting by Kris Jacen
Issued 2019
This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher
When his golden retriever Rochester discovers a body during one of their nightly walks, reformed computer hacker Steve Levitan must look to his neighbors for suspects. Could a killer be lurking along the oak-lined streets? Steve inherited his townhome from his father, and it’s more than just a house to him—it’s the place where he recovered from the loss of two miscarried babies, the pain of losing his parents and the misery of his brief incarceration. Now that he has a new sweetheart, and a loving dog, protecting his home is even more important.
Could someone in the homeowner’s association be sabotaging efforts to keep River Bend a well-maintained place to live? It’s up to Steve and Rochester to dig up the clues to bring a murderer to justice, and protect the place they call home.
Mr. Plakcy did a terrific job in this cozy mystery. He had a smooth writing style that kept the story flowing evenly. The dialogue and descriptions were right on target.
~Red Adept
Steve and Rochester become quite a team and Neil Plakcy is the kind of writer that I want to tell me this story. It’s a fun read which will keep you turning pages very quickly.
~Amos Lassen – Amazon top 100 reviewer
In Dog We Trust is a very well-crafted mystery that kept me guessing up until Steve figured out where things were going.
~E-book addict reviews
Neil Plakcy’s Kingdom of Dog is supposed to be about the former computer hacker, now college professor, Steve Levitan, but it is his golden retriever Rochester who is the real amateur sleuth in this delightful academic mystery. This is no talking dog book, though. Rochester doesn’t need anything more than his wagging tail and doggy smile to win over readers and help solve crimes. I absolutely fell in love with this brilliant dog who digs up clues and points the silly humans towards the evidence.
– Christine Kling, author of Circle of Bones
1: Fine Management
“If these jerks at the homeowner’s association think they’re going to force me to take down the name plate above the garage, they’re barking at the wrong squirrel,” I said.
My golden retriever, Rochester, rose from his place on the kitchen floor and came over to me, responding either to the agitation in my voice – or the word “squirrel.” I sat on one of the white wooden chairs around the kitchen table and rubbed his head.
“That’s an interesting mixed metaphor,” Lili said. “Can you translate that into standard English, please?” Lili was my significant other, a fiery, beautiful, dark-haired descendant of Polish Jews who had transited through Cuba before coming to the United States. I was lucky to have fallen in love with her a few years before and even luckier that, after a year’s courtship, she had moved in with me and Rochester.
Usually I was the picky one when it came to grammar – I had a master’s in English, after all, and had been an adjunct professor of English off and on at Eastern College, where I got my undergraduate degree, and where I currently managed a conference center for the college. Lili was a photojournalist who chaired the Fine Arts department and was accustomed to expressing herself through the lens of her camera.
“This letter,” I said, and I handed it to her.
The name plate in question was one that my father and I had made together, when I was about ten years old. He was an engineer and a skilled craftsman, and he had a wood shop in the basement of our house, with a long workbench and racks of obscure tools.
I was not so handy, but I loved my dad, and when he suggested we make something together I was all in. He sketched out our last name, Levitan, as if written by an architect, in clear and precise lettering. As I watched, he traced the letters over a piece of beautiful light-brown hickory wood.
Then he turned on a blowtorch and handed it to me. The handle of the torch was warm against my palm, the scent of the propane gas an assault on my nostrils. But I knew that I was safe with my father beside me.
He guided my hand as we etched the letter L into the wood. I was a little shaky, so after that he did the burning while I watched. Then I applied coat after coat of lacquer over the wood at his direction.
When were all finished, he drilled a hole in each side of the plaque and climbed up the ladder to hang it over our garage. After my mother died and he sold the house, he brought the sign with him to the townhouse in River Bend and hung it over the garage once more.
While he adjusted to life as a widower, I was going through my own trouble in California. My marriage was falling apart, ending in divorce while I spent a year in state prison for computer hacking. My father died while I was still incarcerated, and after I was released on parole I moved back to Bucks County and into his townhouse.
I remembered pulling up in the driveway after my flight back to Pennsylvania. Seeing that plate above the garage told me that even though I had no job, no relationship, and a criminal record, I’d come home.
I looked over at Lili as she scanned the letter the association had sent, demanding I take the sign down because it did not conform to the design criteria in the by-laws, which preached against handmade exterior décor and wanted to keep us to a kind of Stepford-like uniformity. If I didn’t comply, I’d be fined.
“Their concern seems over the top,” Lili said about the letter. “I’ll bet it’s because of this new software. I read about it on Hi Neighbor.”
Lili had joined that online community of IRL (in real life) neighbors, where they shared notices of lost cats and recommendations on plumbers and handymen. People posted information on crime and vandalism in neighboring areas, though we were lucky that our gates and twenty-four-hour security kept us fairly crime-free.
Lately, the communications had all been complaints about the way River Bend was being managed. She pulled her laptop over and showed me the way the site was organized, and all the maintenance complaints that had been posted by residents of River Bend.
I hadn’t paid much attention to the things that were mentioned there, though I did get irritated when Rochester looked like he was walking through a field of young corn as the grass reached up and tickled his flanks, and I had to push the stalks around to get down to whatever poop he had left.
I pointed to one of the complaints. “This is that software you mentioned, right?”
Even though I’d had to give up my computer career as part of my parole, I was still interested in anything innovative—especially if it affected my life.
“It’s called a fine management program,” Lili said. “Pennsylvania Properties bought it a couple of months ago, and they’re rolling it out at all the homeowner’s associations.”
River Bend was a gated community, and we had contracted with
Pennsylvania Properties to take care of the property. Todd Chatzky, a young guy with heavily greased dark hair, was our on-site manager, with a middle-aged woman named Lois as his secretary.
Todd had been working at River Bend for a couple of years by then, and I recalled the first time I met him, when the association sponsored a barbecue to welcome him. He spoke briefly about his background—that he had served in the Army in Iraq, when he had seen first-hand how important community was. He drove interpreters into small towns and loved the way everyone knew each other and looked out for each other. “That’s the kind of management I’d like to bring to River Bend,” he said.
Things had started out well. Todd renovated and expanded the clubhouse to include more space for neighborhood groups, and brought in yoga teachers, meditation leaders, and real estate brokers who talked about maintaining value in our property.
Rochester got tired of being petted, and he sprawled on the floor in front of me. I sat back and tried to remember how things had been at River Bend back then.
The board had been pretty hands-off, leaving everything up to Todd. Then there had been an incident with the landscaping crew, where they cut down a big branch which fell on Earl Garner’s Mercedes SUV. He was unhappy at how long it took to get reimbursed for the damage, and he used that, and a few other small things, to lead a coup that took over the association board of directors.
Garner had made no bones about his desire to get Todd fired. But his bosses at Pennsylvania Properties backed him up, and he and the board entered into an uneasy truce. I was sure that many of the problems going on in River Bend were a result of that lack of desire to work together. I wondered if this new software was a cooperative venture between the board and Pennsylvania Properties, or another point of dissent between them.
“What does this fine management program do?” I asked Lili.
She looked up from her phone, where she had been reading something. “Todd hired a kid to ride around in a golf cart and document homeowner violations with photographs. Then Todd reviews the photographs and decides which houses are violating the terms and conditions in the homeowner’s agreement. He uses the software to generate letters to the homeowners and track when they pay their fines. If they don’t pay, they get an escalating series of letters, and the fine goes up with time.”
“That’s awful.”
“It certainly is if you get one of these letters,” Lili said, handing it back to me. “One of the women on Hi Neighbor is facing a thousand-dollar fine because the stucco trim on her townhouse is dirty. She’s barely scraping by on Social Security and she can’t hire one of those companies to come in and clean it, and she’s been begging and pleading Todd for an exemption, but he just ignores her.”
“I see Todd riding around on his golf cart sometimes when I’m walking Rochester. He used to be such a friendly guy, but now I wave hello and he pretends not to see me.”
“There’s a movement on Hi Neighbor to get rid of him,” Lili said. “People say that it’s his job to enforce all the community rules, not just the ones from the design committee. That he’s not strong enough to stand up to the board, and we need somebody who can rein them in. I can show you the messages if you want. And we should post something there about how ridiculous this demand is.”
“Does that do any good?”
“If we can get enough people to complain about Todd to Pennsylvania Properties then maybe they’ll convince him to stand up to the board, or replace him with someone who can.”
“How do you know the problem is with the board? Maybe Todd’s just gotten lazy, or he’s overwhelmed with the work.”
“Steve. You’ve lived in this house for six years and you have never paid attention to anything that the board does. From what I read on Hi Neighbor, most of the board members own multiple properties and rent them out. They’re only interested in what benefits them. If you want to see some changes, you should run for the board.”
“Me?”
“Well, I can’t, because I’m not a homeowner.”
Though Lili had moved in with me nearly three years before, we were not married, and I had not changed the deed to add her name to it. We had written wills the year before, leaving our estates to each other, and we’d both agreed that protected her enough. Neither of us had assets that pushed us over the limits for tax-free inheritance, and we both had been scarred by previous marriages and divorces. We weren’t eager to rush into anything that involved licenses and rings.
“I don’t think I’d have the patience to be on the board,” I said. “Though I am going to the fine committee meeting to complain.”
“Good luck with that,” Lili said. “Nobody on Hi Neighbor has gotten any positive resolution that way.”
“The committee hasn’t dealt with me yet,” I said, as Rochester sat up and nuzzled me.
§ § § §
I was so irritated with the letter from the association that I couldn’t focus on anything, so I grabbed Rochester’s leash and took him out for a walk. It was early evening and the sun was setting, bouncing golden shards off the west-facing fanlight windows and the gray-roofed pergolas atop certain models.
Rochester stopped periodically to sniff and pee as we walked up Sarajevo Court—all the streets in River Bend are named for Eastern European cities. When we turned the corner onto Minsk Lane, I was reminded once again of the irony that my grandparents and great-grandparents had struggled to escape Eastern Europe, only to have me end up walking past street signs that would have read better in the Cyrillic alphabet.
Eric Hoenigman, one of our neighbors, approached, walking his big white English setter Gargamel, named by his son after the Smurf villain. Gargamel was even taller than Rochester, though his frame was all muscle, and he had a freckled red head.
Eric unhooked Gargamel’s leash, and big setter came rushing over. Rochester went down on his front paws in the classic play position, and I unclipped his leash, too. The two of them chased each other in and out of yards and around hedges as Eric and I watched with amusement.
“Now if they could just manage to toss a ball back and forth between each other we’ve have a perfect play date,” he said, nodding down the street, where a man in a sport wheelchair was tossing a ball to a young boy, rolling back and forth to catch it in return. I’d seen the man on occasion, but didn’t know him by name.
Watching them play, I felt a momentary pang of lost fatherhood. After I finished my MA in English at Columbia, I was sharing an apartment in New York with a grad school friend and dating a pretty, upwardly mobile young woman named Mary Schulweiss. When she was offered a great job in California, we decided I’d follow her, and it made sense for us to marry. Within a year after our wedding, she became pregnant. We were so excited we told everyone we knew—and then she miscarried, and our despair was made even worse by having to tell so many people what had happened.
Mary eased her pain by thousands of dollars of retail therapy. I worked overtime and took on extra jobs to dig us out of that debt, and we were out of the hole by the time she became pregnant again.
We didn’t tell anyone, not even my father, because we were nervous. And then the worst happened—Mary miscarried again. I was working for a computer company at the time, and part of my job was to make sure our website and intranet were safe from hackers. Studying what they did helped me develop sharp hacking skills myself, and I decided the best way to keep my marriage fiscally sound was to hack into the three main credit bureaus and put a flag on Mary’s account, to keep her from racking up more bills.
I got caught and was sentenced to two years in prison. Six months into my term, my father’s doctor discovered he had an aggressive form of cancer, which took him away within months. By the time I’d served a year and gotten released on parole, he was dead.
Eric startled me out of my reverie. “I admire him,” he said, nodding toward the man in the wheelchair. The oak trees were in new leaf and the sunlight falling through them dappled the street. “Earl Garner. He
’s the president of the board of directors of the homeowner’s association.”
“I know the name, but I never connected him with the face,” I said. “Why do you admire him? My girlfriend says there are lots of complaints against the property manager and the board. And all you have to do is walk around here to see how long it takes to get the grass cut or the leaves picked up.”
“I’m talking about him personally, not the board,” Eric said. “He was in law school when he was run over while he was out on his bike. Paralyzed from the waist down. But he fought back, finished law school, started his own practice.”
By then Rochester and Gargamel were panting, so we gathered up their leashes and I deliberately led Rochester toward Garner and his son, to get a closer look at this man who I might need to speak with about the name plate letter.
As I got close, though, he swiveled his chair around in a move that reminded me of a Paralympic basketball player, and headed up his driveway. “Come on, sport,” he called to his son. “Time for dinner.”
His son followed him, and Rochester and I continued down the street. With Lili’s comments in my mind, I noticed problems in the community I had failed to in the past. Hedges were trimmed so far down they were barely a collection of sticks. Pavement had eroded in places, with big gaps between yard and street. The lawns had been cut erratically – some sheared down to the ground, while others flourished like miniature jungles.
On our way home, Rochester and I ran into another neighbor, a retired woman named Norah who had recently moved to River Bend from Philadelphia. “I’m thinking we made a bad decision to move here,” she said. “Look at this pile of clippings in my yard.” She had retained the city’s twangy elongated vowel sounds, so it sounded like she had a pal of clippings. “It’s been here for a week and nobody’s come by to remove it.”
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