by Marie Force
“Fuuuuck,” he says on a long, low exhale.
I do it again and again and again until he forgets all about how he wanted to go slowly and begins to pound into me in the way I love best, wild and unfettered. One set of fingers digs into my shoulder while the other reaches below me to grasp my ass, to hold me still. Then he bends his head and bites my nipple, which sparks my orgasm.
He thrusts into me, pushing hard as he comes, too, and then he sags against me, breathing hard. “Shit.”
I push sweat-soaked strands of hair off his forehead. “What?”
“I was rough, and you’re sore.”
“You were perfect, and I loved it. I love you.”
“I love you, too. I wish you knew how much.”
“I have a pretty good idea.”
For a long time, we stay right where we are, arms wrapped around each other, still joined as we pulse with aftershocks, his sweat merging with mine. “I can’t imagine this getting any better than it already is.”
“It’s not about better so much as it is about more. There’s more I want to share with you, more I want you to experience.” He kisses my neck and jaw on his way to my lips. “You know what I want to do now?”
“I really have to guess?”
Smiling down at me, devilishly handsome first thing in the morning, he says, “I want to fuck you in the shower.”
My entire body reacts to his gruffly spoken words. “I am feeling rather dirty.” To make my point, I tighten my internal muscles around him again. That’s when I realize he’s already hard again.
“Shower. Right now.”
I discover I’m a big fan of shower sex after being pressed face-first against the tile wall and thoroughly taken from behind by my ravenous husband. His fingers dug so deep into my hips that I have no doubt there’ll be bruises, but I loved every second of it. But now I’m really sore.
“There’s other stuff we could do,” he reminds me when I tell him we’re out of business for the rest of the day.
“What other stuff?”
Still standing behind me, he delves his fingers between my cheeks to press against my back door. “We could play here.”
Every time he touches me there, I go lightheaded with desire and burning curiosity.
“Play how?”
“Fingers, toys, my tongue, my cock…” His erection is hot against my back, as if he hasn’t just come twice in half an hour.
“Now?”
“Not until we talk to your doctor friend.”
Moaning in frustration, I say, “I’m calling him right after we get out of this shower.”
Laughing, Flynn shuts the water off, making me laugh, too.
I towel off, put my robe back on and head straight for my phone, where I see I’ve received a reply from Curt. Working in the home office tomorrow—we got snow, too. Call me any time. Happy to chat with you and Flynn.
“He says we can call him any time.”
“What’re you doing right now, Mrs. Godfrey?”
“Calling Curt.”
Wearing only a pair of tight boxer briefs, Flynn heads for the door.
“Where’re you going?”
“I need coffee for this conversation, and I’m going to get someone to take Fluff out for us.”
“Put more clothes on. I don’t want anyone to see you like that.”
He comes to me. “Feeling possessive of what’s yours?”
“Yes. Is that allowed?”
Tipping my chin up, he kisses me. “Everything is allowed, sweetheart.”
While he tends to Fluff and makes coffee, I return Curt’s text. He suggests a Skype session and sends me the info we need to connect.
“Are you okay with that?” I ask Flynn.
“Sure, whatever works.”
“Okay, I’ll tell him we’ll call in half an hour.” I return to the bedroom to dress in jeans and a turtleneck sweater. Opening the blinds in the bedroom, I look out on the winter wonderland New York has become overnight. Naturally, there’s a sea of yellow taxis sloshing through sludge the plows left behind.
I join Flynn for a quick breakfast of coffee, cereal and fruit.
“You okay?” Flynn asks.
I realize I’ve been staring off into space, thinking about my dream last night. I’ve decided the timing was a coincidence. If I contemplate the possibility that it wasn’t… “I’m fine. Shall we make that call?”
“Let’s do it.”
I scoop up Fluff as I leave the kitchen and follow Flynn into his office, where there’s a big monitor that he plugs into his laptop. He brings a second chair into the room from the kitchen, and I sit next to him.
A minute later, Curt pops up on the big screen before us. He looks the same as I remember, maybe a little grayer around the edges.
“Ah, there you are,” he says. “You look wonderful. And there’s Fluff, too.”
“She’s going strong at fourteen. Curt, this is my husband, Flynn.” I laugh. “And I think that’s the first time I’ve introduced him as my husband.”
“I’m honored to be first,” Curt says, “and it’s a pleasure to meet you, Flynn. I’m a big fan of your work.”
“Thank you, it’s nice to meet you, too. Thanks for being there for Natalie when she needed you.”
“It was always a pleasure to work with her. What can I do for you today?”
We exchange glances, and Flynn nods for me to go ahead. “I know it goes without saying that we’re a little leery after what happened with David Rogers.”
“Which was unfathomable. I knew him a little, and what could’ve driven him to betray you so badly… You have nothing to worry about where I’m concerned. I assure you of my utmost discretion.”
“I told Flynn we could count on you. Thank you for that.” Suddenly nervous, I clear my throat. “Since we spoke last week,” I say haltingly, “I’ve discovered some additional facets of my husband’s personality. Specifically, he’s a sexual dominant.”
“Oh, I see.”
“I kept that from Natalie before we were married because I had myself convinced I could live without that before I could live without her.”
“And how did Natalie find out?” Curt asks.
“Through a series of unfortunate events,” Flynn says. “I take full responsibility for failing to tell Natalie something she should’ve known about me before she bound herself to me for life, and I take full responsibility for her hearing about it from someone other than me.”
“How do you feel about that, Natalie?”
“While I agree that he should’ve told me, I understand why he didn’t. He was thinking of me above himself, and it’s hard to be angry with him when he was willing to sacrifice so much to be what I need.”
“Since all of this came to light, Natalie has expressed a genuine interest in exploring the lifestyle with me. Though we’ve had in-depth conversations about what it would entail and have gone so far as to negotiate a consensual contract, I’m reluctant to move forward before we have some professional advice about what, if any, impact it could have on her ongoing recovery from the assault.”
“I think you’re very wise to ensure that base is covered before you proceed,” Curt says. “Natalie, can you tell me about your interest in the activities Flynn has proposed?”
“I’m curious,” I say, glancing at Flynn, who’s watching me the way he always does. “I’m intrigued.”
“I notice you don’t say you’re frightened.”
“I’m nervous, of course, and a bit anxious about what might happen if I don’t like it or can’t be what he wants—”
“I have to stop you right there, Nat. You are what I want.” For Curt’s sake, he adds, “I’ve told her that in every way I can think of. We’ve already had sex twice today—great sex, the kind of sex people dream about having. The connection between us is nothing less than combustible. The things we’re talking about adding would only complement an already amazing sex life. But if all we ever have is what we already have,
that would be enough for me.”
“Then why add this element?” Curt asks.
“Let me,” I say, my hand on Flynn’s arm. “I recently told Flynn that I feel like I’ve been asleep my whole life until he awakened the part of me that’s been asleep. With him, I’ve discovered desire and passion and satisfaction that I never dreamed possible. I’ve gone from thinking I’d never have a normal sexual relationship to having sex multiple times a day and enjoying it more than I ever thought I would.”
“The honeymoon stage does wear off after a while,” Curt says with a smile.
I glance at my husband. “I don’t know if it will in our case.” I squeeze his arm, drawing a smile from him. “Flynn tells me there can be more, and I want it all. As long as I’m with him, I know I’ll be cared for and treasured and loved at every step along the way. I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in my life.”
Flynn wraps his hand around mine and squeezes. “What’s your take, Doc? Will Natalie be okay if we proceed down this road?”
“PTSD in all its many forms can be a tricky thing. You think you’re fine, and then something happens, such as the thing with your hands on your wedding night, and it rears its ugly head. I’m reluctant to provide any assurances that Natalie will be totally fine. There are apt to be bumps, moments of genuine fear, flashbacks or even triggers that bring back the past trauma. That said, it seems that you have been able to get past these challenges before and may be able to do so in the future.”
“May be able to,” Flynn says. Trust him to home in on that one word. “What if Natalie can’t get past it?”
“Then I’d recommend that whatever activity caused the reaction be ceased immediately and possibly permanently.”
“But you’re not recommending we don’t try this at all?” Flynn asks.
“Natalie says she’s intrigued, curious, interested. Never once has she said she’s afraid. That’s important.”
“I’m not afraid.” I swallow hard, trying to suppress the memory of the dream that reopened old wounds. I know I should tell them both about the dream, but I’m so tired of revisiting the past. I want to move forward with my amazing husband. I want us to have everything we want and deserve. “I want to live fearlessly.”
“You see why I love her so damned much?” Flynn says softly.
“I do,” Curtis says, smiling. “I encourage you to live fearlessly, Natalie, but I also urge you to proceed cautiously. Baby steps. Ease your way into this a little at a time to see what works for you and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to use whatever word you’ve agreed upon that stops everything. And keep the lines of communication wide open. Talk about it afterward, what you liked and didn’t like, what you’d like to do again and what you wouldn’t. That’s going to be critical to ensuring a successful experiment.”
“We’re getting pretty good at the talking thing,” Flynn says, glancing at me.
I nod in agreement.
“That’s an excellent place to start,” Curt agrees. “I’d like you to check in with me, Natalie, perhaps weekly for a while, if that works for you.”
“Sure, that would be fine.”
“I’m only a phone call away if you should ever need me—day or night. Don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thank you so much, Curt.”
“Yes, thank you,” Flynn says, “and I’ll text you where to send your bill.”
“There’s no charge. It’s my pleasure to see you settled and so in love, Natalie. I can’t think of anyone who deserves that kind of happiness more than you.”
Flynn puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Thanks again, Curt. I’ll call you next week.”
“I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”
Flynn pushes the button to end the connection. “He’s great and obviously very fond of you.”
“He got me through a nightmare.”
“For that, he shall always have my gratitude as well as yours.”
“Do you feel better now that we’ve spoken to him?”
“I feel less worried than I was.”
“Soooo… What now?”
Once again, he leans in close to me, his lips touching my ear. “Now, I need to do some work.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“But tonight at eight o’clock, I want you naked and on your knees at the foot of the bed. Your hands will be folded in your lap and your head down in submission as you wait for me to tell you what I want. Do you understand?”
My entire body heats as his words register. “I… Yes, I understand.”
“Today, I want you to reread our contract and go over every detail we negotiated so you’re reminded of what could happen later.”
“Okay.”
“What’s the proper way to address me in this context?”
“Yes… Sir.”
“Better. Now kiss me and let me get to work.”
I expect a quick peck, but I should know better by now. He kisses me senseless and then leaves me reeling when he pulls back. I put Fluff down, get up from the chair, which I take with me when I leave the room on trembling legs. Eight o’clock is more than ten hours from now. How will I stand the insistent throb of desire between my legs for that long?
Chapter 7
I’m hard as concrete as I watch her walk away. Her reaction to my instructions makes me want to forget all about the power of anticipation and begin playtime right now. But I’ve promised Hayden I’ll work for part of every day, so I start by diving into the email that has accumulated during the time I’ve spent with Natalie.
I participate in a conference call with the production team on the film that has defied naming, and dismiss a lengthy list of ideas our marketing team presents to us at the end of the two-hour meeting.
Hayden reminds me we’re long overdue with making decisions on our next project and forwards me an email containing his short list of suggestions.
“I’ll take a look and get back to you with my thoughts.”
“Great, thank you. Nice to have you back, even part time.”
“Good to be back.”
The call ends, and I immediately call Hayden on my cell.
“Didn’t I just talk to you?”
“I wanted to speak to you privately, and I didn’t trust everyone to hang up if I asked to do it during the call.”
“Good thinking.”
“Especially in light of what I want to talk about. So Natalie knows.”
“What does she know?”
“Everything.” I let that one word do the talking for me.
“How?”
“Our old friend Valerie decided she needed to know.”
“You’re shitting me, right?”
“I wish I was.”
“Wow, she’s got some brass balls. You gotta give her that.”
“Perhaps so, but when I get back to town, we need to do something about her. It wouldn’t take much to ruin her career, for one thing. Hardly anyone wants to work with her anyway.”
“I can’t believe she’d have the nerve to fuck with you this way. So, how did Natalie take it?”
“We had a rough couple of days, but we’re better now. A lot better. She wants to come to the club.”
“So she’s interested?”
“Intrigued and curious were the words she used.”
“A lot better than depraved and disgusting.”
“I much prefer Natalie’s words.”
“Wow, Flynn… Congrats. You hit the jackpot. You found a woman who genuinely loves you and is willing to be part of the lifestyle, too. You’re a lucky bastard.”
I can hear the yearning in his tone. Perhaps someone who doesn’t know him as well as I do would’ve missed it, but I don’t. “You never know what’s possible unless you try.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“How do you know—”
“I gotta go. Another call coming in. See you when you get back.”
The line
goes dead, and I shake my head in amusement and frustration at my best friend’s dismissal of my suggestion. He and Addie would be great together, but Hayden’s too afraid of what might happen if she found out about his involvement in the lifestyle. More than anything, I think he fears losing her friendship, not that he’s ever come right out and said that. Hell, he’s barely admitted his interest in her to me, let alone anything else.
I hope he can get out of his own way and decide to take a chance. I, for one, would tell him the rewards far outweigh the risks, but then again, I wasn’t risking a longtime friendship with Natalie. It’s a tough situation, especially because I believe Addie would welcome being more than friends with Hayden—again, not that she and I have actually talked about it.
Natalie appears in the doorway, and every other thought leaves my head except for those that involve her. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“You’re not. What’s up?”
“I talked to Aileen, and she doesn’t sound too good. She had chemo on Friday, and the kids are home today because of the snow. I was thinking I might go over there and entertain the kids so she can rest. Would that be okay with you?”
“Only if I can come with you.”
“I thought you had to work.”
“I did, and now I don’t have anything else scheduled until eight o’clock tonight.”
Her eyes drop and her cheeks flush at the mention of our date. “Oh, well, if you want to come, I’m sure the kids would love that.”
“You should check with Aileen first. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m sure she won’t mind, but I’ll ask her if we can hang out with the kids for a while so she can rest.” She sends a text and receives an immediate response. “She says they’d love it and that neither of us are to look directly at her or at the condition of the apartment.”
I laugh at the cute but sad reply. “We can’t drive, though. With everyone home because of the snow, we’ll never be able to park. We’ll take a cab.”
“How will we get out of here undetected?”
“I have the perfect solution.”
“I won’t wear Russian fur on my head.”
“I wouldn’t dream of making you do that. I’ve got something even better.” He disappears into the bedroom and returns carrying two hats. When he hands one to me, I see they are knit ski masks with holes for the eyes, nose and mouth that cover the entire face. “No one will look twice at us in these today, because everyone will be wearing them.”
