“Nae bad at all,” Blair agreed. Hardi’s wrapped his arm tighter around her waist as his other hand held the reins. Blair clutched a hank of the horse’s mane until she realized that Hardi’s brawny arm and muscular thighs pinning her to the horse would keep her from slipping, even at a gallop. She rested her hands on Hardi’s thighs and felt him shudder. Realizing he enjoyed the feel of her hands on him, she slowly stroked her hand up and down his legs, careful to keep her movements small and unnoticeable. In return, Hardi nuzzled Blair’s neck. His warm breath beneath her ear made her shiver.
“The only thing I wish to dine upon this nooning is ye,” Hardi murmured against her throat.
Blair glanced at the guards surrounding her, hoping she and Hardi could slip away again. “I think we should plan to enjoy dessert, just the two of us.” A growl vibrated from deep in Hardi’s chest as he pressed a series of scorching kisses along her throat as they rode. They approached a ridge with a steep downhill slope on the other side. Blair knew there was a denser set of woods than the copse they’d picnicked near a fortnight earlier. There was a clearing within the forest, but it wasn’t visible from the path. She sighed as she realized Hardi intended to take her there where prying eyes wouldn’t intrude or create gossip.
“Ye ken where we’re headed?” Hardi asked as he focused on maneuvering his horse along the steep grade, no longer tempting Blair with his kisses.
“Aye. The clearing to the right. It’s a ways into the trees to find it, but it’s large enough for us to picnic. Maude, Lachlan, and I used to go there when Lachlan visited. Mama and Da took us there the first time and said that should we ever need a place to speak as a family where there wouldnae be walls with ears, we were to go to the clearing. Maude, Lachlan, and I went there just so Maude and I could escape the castle from time to time.”
“Did ye and Lachlan go there the last time he visited?” Hardi inquired.
“Aye. Lach and I wanted time away from the castle. Nae to discuss aught specific. He understood I needed a change of scenery.”
“Are ye unhappy at court, Blair?” Hardi’s voice was little more than a whisper.
“Nae unhappy per se,” Blair paused, realizing the Latin phrase wasn’t one she’d taught Hardi.
“Dinna fash. Lachlan explained it to me,” Hardi reassured.
“I’ve just been growing restless, I suppose.” Blair turned her head to look at the expanse of trees that met them as they left the hill behind them. The trees to the left of the path were just as dense as to the right, but there was nowhere to picnic.
“Restless?” Hardi was puzzled.
“Maude married nearly two years ago. Ma other friends have left too. There’s only Arabella and Laurel still here from when I arrived. I suspect Arabella won’t remain much longer.”
“Lachlan?”
“Mayhap. But Arabella suspects her father has begun a search for a husband for her. There are few ladies-in-waiting who enjoy life at court. I think there are few women who enjoy it at all. Matrons join the court on their husband’s arm or as the queen’s attendant. Widows remain when there is nowhere else for them to go. The queen is happy to be anywhere that she can move freely, coming and going as she wishes. The king loathes being at court. I think he’d rather still live in a tent as long as he didna have to go to battle,” Blair explained with a sigh. “It’s all fake. The laughter, the merriment. While in the moment, people may enjoy themselves. But few enjoy the lifestyle. Or rather, most dinna. There are courtiers who canna imagine living anywhere else. They thrive on the political maneuvering and living a luxurious lifestyle on someone else’s bill.”
“So ye are eager to escape?” Hardi’s stomach tightened, a sudden fear that Blair was more excited about the prospect of leaving court than the prospect of marrying him.
Blair tried to twist enough to look Hardi in the eye, but it was impossible. Frustrated, she clenched his plaid. “I freely admit that I wondered when I would marry. I felt left behind and told Lachlan that before he left too. But I am nae marrying ye just to leave. If I were that desperate, I would beg ma parents to fetch me. Yer arrival made me forget that I wanted to leave. It made me forget ma loneliness, and even ma jealousy that the others left because they married for love. At least most of them did.” Blair’s mind flashed to Cairren Kennedy’s departure. The arranged marriage had been an unmitigated disaster at the beginning, but it grew into a loving one where Cairren was happy and building a family. “I didna ken I would fall in love with ye, Hardi. I kenned I was attracted to ye, but ye were ma friend first.”
Hardi relaxed with Blair’s reassurance, and the arm he hadn’t realized was squeezing Blair far too tightly eased its punishing grip.
Eighteen
When they arrived in the clearing, Blair’s immediate dismount made Hardi worry that he’d insulted her by doubting her motivation to marry. Once he was on the ground, she grabbed his hand and tugged him to the far side of the clearing and into the trees. He whistled to the guards just as he had the last time they slipped away. It was Blair’s turn to push Hardi against an enormous tree trunk. She grasped two handfuls of his leine and rose onto her toes. Her kiss was punishing, giving no quarter. She swiped her tongue across the seam of Hardi’s mouth, plunging it into the smooth recesses as soon as he gave way. Annoyed at his sporran once again being in the way, she pushed it aside.
Blair’s attack caught Hardi unprepared, but he eagerly met Blair’s passion with his own. Once the full length of his straining cock pressed against Blair, he lifted her high off the ground; her legs wrapping around his waist. He turned them so Blair’s back was against the tree. He thrust his hips against her, imitating how he longed to be inside her. Grumbling at the yards of fabric he was forced to gather, both sighed when Hardi’s hands finally gripped Blair’s buttocks. She rocked her hips against him as one hand fisted the back of his leine while the other cupped his jaw and nape.
She ripped her mouth away, panting. “Could I kiss ye like this if I wanted to marry ye for convenience?” she demanded before swooping in for another kiss. They devoured one another, days of frustrated chastity finally giving way. Hardi’s fingers slid along her slick seam until Blair mumbled “yes” against his lips. He dipped his middle finger into her entrance, and Blair squeezed her legs around Hardi’s waist as though she could press their bodies closer together. Encouraged, Hardi’s forefinger joined the other as he explored what he could reach.
“Blair, I will put ye down on yer feet, but only so I can touch ye more,” Hardi gasped, breathless and impatient. He steadied Blair on her feet before thrusting his fingers into her core. Her head rested against his shoulder as she struggled to stifle her moan. As Hardi’s thumb rubbed small circles on her pearl, Blair’s teeth bit into his shoulder. Not enough to hurt, but more than enough to excite Hardi beyond restraint. He felt his cock pulse as his seed coated his leg and the inner folds of his plaid. He’d never been more thankful for the layers of wool as he was then, knowing they would hide the evidence of his overly eager cock.
“I want to touch ye too, Hardi,” Blair begged. When he said nothing, she pulled back to find him blushing, but focused on pleasuring her. She wanted to know why he said nothing, but her mind went blank as the ache low in her belly coiled into a knot before a wave of pleasure surged from her core and washed over her. Her hands cupped Hardi’s face as she poured every bit of astonishment and need and pleasure into this kiss. “Hardi, please. I want to touch ye.”
“Blair, ye canna. It’s too late, at least for a minute or two,” Hardi smiled ruefully.
“Ye mean—Did ye—like me?” Blair wasn’t sure what words to use to describe what just happened to her. It felt like far more than just a release. It consumed her. And climax felt too detached.
“Aye, Blair. I couldnae help it. That’s never happened to me before,” Hardi laughed, but his cheeks were bright red. At Blair’s furrowed brow, he closed his eyes. “I’ve never lost control like that and finished without being touched. I w
ould vera much like for ye to touch me. Vera much.”
Blair pulled her lips in, trying to keep from laughing, but she knew she appeared smug when Hardi shook his head and grinned. “Mayhap after we eat?” Blair offered.
Hardi growled before his teeth grazed her neck, his tongue adding to the erotic sensation. His hand cradled Blair’s head as he kissed behind her ear. His other hand squeezed her breast almost painfully. Blair’s hands grasped his backside and drew his hips against her. She could feel his cock lengthening as it hardened.
“When we are alone, I will show ye just what I fancy eating,” Hardi growled. At Blair’s gasp, he realized she might not understand what he meant. He pulled away, but her cunning grin made him wonder if she knew more than he expected.
“Maude told me,” Blair explained. She slid her hand over his hip and cupped his rod. “And I ken how a woman can enjoy a feast of her own. I dinna ken that I’ll be any good, but I shall be an apt student if ye will be ma teacher.”
“Ma ghaol.” My love. “I dinna think ye ken how hard it is for me to keep from mauling ye right now.”
“I think I ken exactly how hard it is.” Blair wrapped her hand around Hardi’s length, the plaid pulling tight around his rod.
“Ye’ll be glad to ken how hard ye make me when I’m buried inside ye,” Hardi promised. He watched Blair’s eyes squeeze shut, and he wasn’t sure how to interpret her expression. “I shouldnae say such things.”
Blair’s eyes flew open. “I like hearing it.” She blinked several times, and it was her turn to flush red.
“Do ye, lass? Ye like it when I tell ye what I want to do to ye?” Hardi’s voice deepened.
“Aye,” Blair whispered.
“I want to strip ye bare and kiss yer throat before making ma way to yer perfect breasts. I want to suckle them like a starving bairn, but I promise ye, ye will ken I want ye like a mon.” Hardi watched Blair’s reaction as her body swayed toward him. When her eyes reopened, he understood the need he recognized.
“Hardi, is it wrong to tell ye that I want to ken what it feels like for us to join? That I canna stop wondering what it will feel like to have ye inside me. I—I dinna mean I’m wondering that just now. I’ve been thinking aboot it. I canna stop thinking aboot it since we kissed in the alcove.”
“Nay, ma ghaol. It isnae wrong. I’m glad to ken ye want me as much as I want ye, that ye want to make love to me like I do with ye.”
“Make love?” Blair swallowed. “Mama told me years ago that many married people couple. It’s what’s expected. People who join just for pleasure have other names for it. I ken I shouldnae ken them, but Mama wanted me to understand before I arrived at court. She didna want me to be naïve and vulnerable. She also said it was a rare thing when couples truly make love. That people say it, but dinna really mean it. They use it too loosely.”
Blair looked away as she licked her lips. She gathered her courage before looking back at Hardi. “If what we will have is just coupling or rutting, then dinna feel ye have to say we’re making love. I’d rather ye didna.” Blair couldn’t meet his eyes. When she stepped back and her shoulders brushed the bark, she realized they’d both let go of each other’s clothing. She was unprepared for the intensity in Hardi’s eyes or how close he brought his face as he pressed his hand onto the trunk beside her head.
“I dinna use that phrase loosely either, Blair. I have rutted. I have tupped. I have even fucked. I’m fairly certain ye learned that one at court. But I have never made love to a woman. I have never, ever felt before what I do for ye. I willna promise there willna be times when I want ye with a fierceness that borders on being rough. I felt that today. But I want to take ye to our bed, lay ye down, and worship ye until ye ken that what our bodies do is the most intimate way to show how we feel. I dinna ken the words to use, but I can show ye I love ye, Blair.”
Blair nodded as she tried to blink away tears. “I love ye, too. And it scares me just how strongly I feel. I dinna want to feel this way if ye—”
“If I dinna feel the same and will take a leman. Is that what ye’re trying to say?” Hardi asked. Blair nodded her head as she closed her eyes. Hardi pressed a soft kiss to her mouth before pulling back, taking both of Blair’s hands in his. “Look at me, Blair. It’s nae secret many lairds keep mistresses. They marry who they are told to. Ladies are made to believe there is nay pleasure in the marriage bed, that seeking it is a sin. But that isnae us. Yer da wouldnae stray from yer mama. I dinna think his mind could even conjure such an idea. They were the first noble couple I ever heard of sharing a chamber. I’ve told ye before, I respect yer father more than I’ve ever respected any mon. I didna lie when I said I have tried to live ma life with the honor yer father does.” Hardi squeezed Blair’s hands before pulling her into his embrace. “If I didna believe I could be faithful to ye until the end of our lives, I wouldnae marry ye. I shouldnae have assumed ye would ken there willna be a bedchamber for each of us. I willna visit ye as though I am some guest staying at Tor Castle. It will be our bedchamber. It is where I shall fall asleep with ye in ma arms every night that I’m home. It’s where we will conceive our children, and ye’ll bring them into this world. And if I’m lucky, it’s beside ye in that bed where I shall breathe ma last.”
Blair squeezed her arms around Hardi’s waist. His much larger body provided a haven she didn’t know she needed. “I dinna ken what to say. I love ye.”
“That’s all I need to hear. I love ye, too, mo chridhe.”
They stood together until they both knew they’d been hiding far too long. Hardi kissed Blair’s forehead, and they walked out of the trees with their arms wrapped around one another. Blair was grateful all the guards, especially her two Sutherland ones, didn’t look as though anything was out of the ordinary. She laid out the picnic, and by the end, they’d consumed all the food. Blair wondered if she could ever pack enough.
Full and happy, Blair laid back to watch the sun shine through the leaves at the edges of the clearing. Hardi laid beside her, their hands clasped. But rather than counting clouds, they enjoyed the companionable silence. The guards moved away, and their quiet chatter was the only background sound. Blair felt herself dozing off as her eyelids grew heavy.
Hardi gently shook Blair awake, pressing a kiss to her temple as her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes registered the position of the sun and how the light had softened. She hadn’t realized that she’d fallen into a deeper sleep than she intended. She turned her head toward Hardi, and his soft smile and gaze warmed her to her toes.
“Did ye ken yer nose twitches when ye sleep?” Hardi asked.
“Ma nose? Nay, I didna ken. Were ye watching me sleep? How long did I sleep?”
“I couldnae help it. Ye looked so peaceful, but I didna watch the entire time. I spoke with ma guards for part of it. I’d say ye rested for aboot two hours.”
“Two hours?” Blair jerked up before running her fingers through her hair. She sat watching her guards attach the picnic baskets to the saddles. She quickly rose, allowing Hardi to fold the blanket. It stunned her to realize how tired she was. She hadn’t thought she would fall asleep, but she remembered how soothing it was to feel Hardi’s thumb brushing back and forth over her knuckles. His pine scent mingled with those in the forest, and she’d felt like she was back on Sutherland.
Hardi led her to his horse before lifting her onto its back. He mounted behind her, guiding his horse through the trees. They opted to take a longer route back to the castle to avoid the steep incline, giving the horses a reprieve. Neither Hardi nor Blair minded the extra time with Blair curled against Hardi’s chest. She rode with both legs over one side rather than astride like she had when they left the keep. She found her eyes growing heavy once again, and she deduced that it was Hardi’s protective presence that allowed her to lower her guard even more than she did in her own chamber. They parted inside the castle, each preparing for the evening meal. Duty obligated Blair to sit with the other ladies-in-waiting. She dreaded anot
her confrontation like the evening before, but the younger ladies appeared to be on their best behavior. Arabella and Laurel explained that the women had received a dressing down from the Mistress of the Bedchamber, who oversaw the ladies-in-waiting. The MacMillans departed earlier that day, and the Camerons sat with the MacLeods. Blair enjoyed a perfect evening after a perfect day.
Nineteen
With their courtship no longer a secret, Blair and Hardi openly spent their mornings in the scriptorium, choosing to work on sums and figures before going for long afternoon walks where Blair drilled Latin subjects and predicates into Hardi. When they were away from the castle, they held hands during their walks, but while still on the castle grounds and in town, decorum forced them to hide their familiarity. Both were content to have Blair’s arm wound around Hardi’s, but neither found it satisfying after their interlude in the woods.
They took a lengthy walk on the fourth afternoon, both losing track of the distance as Hardi recited what he’d learned the previous days. Blair praised him, amazed at his determination to excel as a pupil. She hadn’t expected him to learn as much as he had in the brief time they’d worked together, but she understood his motivation, and they both felt the time constraints closing in on them.
“Cameron approaching,” a guard called out. Hardi spun around as two horse galloped toward him. He recognized the Cameron plaid first, then his own horse, Uaill. Anxiety spread through Hardi, knowing something dire had happened if the messenger brought his horse to speed their return to the keep.
“Laird Cameron!” As the approaching rider called out, Blair could see the strain on the man’s face and his obvious exhaustion. Deep shadows sat beneath his eyes, and mud caked his leine and plaid. “I bring an urgent message from Faolán.”
“Hand me Uaill’s reins. Lady Blair rides back with me,” Hardi stated. Blair didn’t hesitate to follow Hardi’s command. She pulled herself into the saddle and moved as far forward as she could while Hardi issued instructions for the other guards to follow. Only one Sutherland and one Cameron accompanied them on horseback. Hardi insisted on the protocol anytime they walked beyond sight of the castle in case of attack, and they needed to rush Blair to safety.
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