Thanks to Alisha volunteering to look after Lincoln when I had to go to class, I had eventually been able to go back. Not without getting into debt, but at least I’d gone back and finished what I’d started.
For the first time since his birth, Lincoln and I were now in a position where I could actually really support him financially and otherwise without counting every dime we had. Of course Kurt would choose now to reappear in my life.
If he thought I was going to roll over and allow him to walk back in without a fight after everything, he was dead wrong. Lincoln and I no longer needed him to pay child support, so not even that would tempt me to let him back in like it might have a year ago.
The little boy climbing up the ladder on the jungle gym in front of me was my life. I wasn’t going to expose him to that man if I could help it.
It might have sounded like I was bitter. I wasn’t.
Sure, I’d been through a lot over the last four years. There were times where I cursed and hated Kurt, but there had also been times where I’d wished that he would come back for us. When things got really tough, I had even considered trying to track him down again.
I wasn’t kidding about the child support, either. A year ago, we’d been in dire straits. If he had called then, I might have felt differently about it than I did now. I wouldn’t have had a choice.
We’d gotten through it, though. I wasn’t desperate anymore and there was nothing Kurt could use as leverage over me.
The fact was that he wasn’t a nice man. I’d have hated to have let him in again before, but I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t have. Desperate times did call for desperate measures, after all. Thankfully, he hadn’t come knocking then.
Now that he was, there was nothing that could tempt me to let him become part of our lives. I hadn’t seen it at the time that we’d been together, but in the years that had followed after our breakup, I had come to realize that Kurt was a toxic person to have in my life.
He lied easily and without feeling even an iota of guilt. Although he had never hurt me physically, he was an aggressive man and one who didn’t shy away from using violence when he thought it necessary. I’d seen him in many fights during our time together, and none of them had been started by the other person.
He might not have hurt me physically, but he’d done a number on me psychologically and emotionally. It had taken me a long time to recover. There was no way I was exposing my son to that kind of treatment. No way in hell.
I tried to push Kurt and the past from my mind for the rest of the afternoon, but I couldn’t quite manage it. After the park, I got a late lunch going in the kitchen at home and while Lincoln was building a puzzle, I called Alisha to invite her over.
“I’ll be right there,” she replied and twenty minutes later, she used her key to our apartment and let herself in the front door. She walked straight to the kitchen after saying hi to Lincoln. “What’s wrong? You sounded terrified on the phone.”
“It’s Kurt again,” I said quietly, adding ground beef to the pasta sauce I was busy making.
Alisha’s cheeks drained of color and she nodded, but then she left the subject alone. As they always did, Alisha and Lincoln had me feeling better in no time.
Kurt didn’t know where we lived now and we spent the evening watching Disney movies and playing with Lincoln. It was a pretty simple life, but I sure loved it. I wouldn’t let Kurt steal even one more minute’s happiness away from me.
Chapter 9
Joseph
My eyes narrowed on my computer screen as I reread the email that had come in a minute ago, my shoulders rising as I inhaled a deep breath. Well, this changes things.
Movement outside my office caught my eye and I looked up, seeing Lilac standing there talking to Ollie. She was early, a habit I had noticed she had gotten into.
Ollie laughed at something she said and held up his hand for a high five. No idea why.
As she lifted hers to meet his, she shifted and ended up looking me right in the eyes. Obviously noticing me practically staring at her, she nodded at me before she slapped Ollie’s palm and then walked into her office.
I watched her from the corner of my eye, seeing her unpacking things from her purse onto her desk and starting up her laptop. Ollie went into her office a minute later, carrying a steaming mug of what I assumed was coffee and chatting as he set it down. Then he walked out again and sat down at his desk.
Both of them seemed to be in high spirits for a Monday morning. Too bad I was about to ruin it for them. They had no idea that our plans for the week had just taken a drastic turn.
It was good that Lilac was here early and I was glad she was going to get some caffeine before I dropped the bombshell on her. The email I had gotten meant that things were going to ramp up for her a lot faster than I had anticipated.
I had been planning another week at the slower pace for her, but that was out the window now. Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair and let her take a few more sips of coffee before catching her eye with a wave and motioning her into my office.
She smiled and nodded, then stood up and smoothed out the black figure-hugging, yet demure dress she was wearing. Damn it. Now is not the time to notice her clothes.
Shaking my head at myself, I resolved to find a way to stop this physical attraction thing I had going with my future CFO. In that sense, working with Titus had been a lot easier. I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone about anything he had ever worn, yet I’d be able to wax poetic about Lilac’s wardrobe if I’d ever let myself say anything about it out loud—which I fucking wouldn’t.
Working with someone I found physically attractive was turning out to be a lot harder than I might have thought it would be, but as much as I could be a dick and as much as I certainly had one, her lack of that appendage wasn’t going to make me treat her any differently than I had treated Titus.
I wasn’t some kind of male chauvinist. I was a goddamn professional and I could keep it in my pants. I just had to remember that I hadn’t had random thoughts about fucking Titus and treat her the same as I had him, and this would all be fine.
Lilac didn’t knock before entering my office, walking in with a slight sway to her hips that I swore she hadn’t had before and sitting down with a smile on her lips. “Good morning, boss man. You rang?”
“I waved, actually,” I pointed out. It was entirely unnecessary, but I needed a second to clear the image of that sashaying walk out of my mind. After letting my eyelids slide down to cover my eyes for just that one second, I shoved all the thoughts I shouldn’t have been having into a metal cage in my brain and focused on work.
“We got a new client this morning,” I started, wheeling my chair forward until I bumped against my desk, then rested my forearms on it. “New client, new account, new everything.”
“Okay.” I saw a gleam of excitement creeping into her eyes, noticing how she straightened her spine ever so slightly. “Doesn’t that happen every day?”
“It does, but not every client is like this one. This company is big and they’re getting ready to go public, which means we’ve got to get their shit together for them fast.” I raked a hand through my hair and released a quiet breath. “What that means is that my plans for you have changed. We can’t afford to keep up the slower pace this week. You’re going to have to jump right in and unfortunately, I won’t be standing in the deep end with you.”
“I’ll be working on this alone?” The excitement that had crept into her eyes dripped from her voice.
I nodded, but a tiny pang of disappointment over how excited she was to be getting rid of me shadowing her hit me in the gut just before I reminded myself that this was a good thing.
If she was ready to jump into the deep end without anyone holding her hand, that was a fucking good thing. She was going to be my CFO for Christ’s sake. I couldn’t be there to guide her for the rest of our time working together and I shouldn’t have wanted to. Correction: I don’t want to.
Mentally slamming down walls around that cage that contained every unprofessional thought I’d ever had about her, I launched into an explanation of what the client wanted and when they wanted it.
It was a relief that none of those feelings or thoughts broke out of that cage, that my compartmentalization had been successful. I was in business mode now, the place where I was most comfortable. Some might even call it my element.
I felt my muscles relax and heard my tone sharpen, my mouth firing off instructions to her in the way it had become so familiar with when those instructions had been issued to Titus. Finally, everything can go back to normal.
Lilac nodded along with me, but all traces of relaxation or excitement had seeped away from her posture and expression. Whether she realized it or not, she was responding to the change in me in the same way Titus used to when it came to crunch time.
This too was a fucking good thing, because Titus and I had worked very well together from the start and feeling the same energy coming off Lilac now was comforting. I knew in that second that even though our plans had changed and things were about to get tough, I wouldn’t have to worry about whether she would be able to handle the pressure.
“Okay,” she said once I’d explained what I would need from her, “so if I’m understanding you correctly, I will be working on this heading my team on my end while you’ll be tackling it from yours. You’ll have final oversight of everything I do and we’ll put all our stuff together at the end to make sure we’ve covered all our bases.”
I nodded. “Think you can manage all that?”
She grinned and tossed a lock of dirty blond hair over her shoulder, standing up. “You bet I can. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
“I’ll forward their email to you now. All the client’s contact information is there. Use it if you need it. You’re going to have to deal with the client directly to get what you need from them.”
“Got it.” Her grin got even wider.
“Great, now get to work.” I didn’t watch her leaving my office. Turning my chair to face my computer again, I got to work myself. Neither of us had any time to waste.
Before long, Ollie was running between our offices and barely able to keep up with the amount of paperwork being pushed through the printers. They were spitting out reams of paper one after the other, the pages so hot they burned my hands.
Environmentalists might have jumped down my throat about that, but honestly, there were just some things I needed on actual paper and everything being printed fell into that category. We were an environmentally conscious company and we didn’t print anything unnecessarily, but there was a certain rush that came from hearing the whir of the printers working overtime, smelling that bitter fragrance of ink in the air and holding the hot pages in my hands.
A grin came to my lips as I scratched lines through paragraphs in the contract I was reviewing, then reached for my keyboard and slammed my fingers down as I typed. This. I fucking love this.
It was nothing compared to the rush, the thrill I had felt in battle back in the day, but it was a new kind of adrenaline that I had grown rather fond of. Besides, it was the only fucking rush I got these days, so it had to do.
A few hours later, I looked up from my computer to see Lilac standing in the door of my office, a bag of takeout bearing the logo of our catering company downstairs in her hand. “I thought it would save us some time if I ordered food up and had it ready before we took our actual break.”
“Good thinking.” I nodded to my couch and pushed up from behind my desk to join her. She sat down and put the bag on the coffee table, then pulled out two containers of food.
As soon as she opened the bag, I caught a whiff of fragrant rice and suddenly realized I was starved. “What did you get for us?”
“Meal of the day.” Lilac shrugged. “I didn’t bother to check what it is, just called in the order for whatever the meal of the day is and carried on working.”
“I like that.” I took the container she handed over and opened it to find grilled salmon resting on a bed of lemon rice with Sichuan-style dry-fried green beans. My mouth began to water and a grin spread on my lips. “Thanks for bringing this. Looks delicious.”
“No problem.” She smiled, grabbing a set of cutlery and handing it to me before taking a set for herself and opening her container. “My intentions weren’t completely pure, though. I thought we could talk about the client while we eat. I’m interested in finding out more about the company, the stuff I can’t find on their website.”
“You’ve come to the right place for that.” I filled her in what was happening behind the scenes while we ate quickly. Both of us were too rushed to enjoy the food properly, but it was still good.
When I was done, I set my cutlery and container back into the bag and stood up from the couch at the same time that Lilac finished eating and followed suit. “We’re going to be here late tonight. I’ll order dinner up for us around seven.”
She paused, stilling halfway through her turn towards the door. “Oh. Okay. Uh, I just need to make arrangements for Lincoln then.”
Fuck. I groaned internally. I had almost forgotten that she had a kid, a young one at that. “I’ll see about having someone at daycare stay late.”
“No.” She waved her hands, shaking her head fast. “That’s not necessary. I have a neighbor that can come pick him up.”
“Are you sure?” I narrowed my eyes. I didn’t want working late to become an issue for her, because if it did, we were going to have problems.
“I’m sure,” she said firmly. “I’ve got it covered. Don’t worry. Thanks for the info. I’ll send you my next report within the hour.”
She completed her turn and walked out of my office without another glance at me. Blowing out a breath, I puffed my cheeks up before I shook my head and went back to my desk. I couldn’t worry about whether regularly having to work late was going to become a problem for her.
If it happened, it happened. Time would tell. For now, she was here and claimed to have it covered. There was nothing more I could do, so I typed my password into my computer and got back to doing what I did best: work.
Chapter 10
Lilac
The other shoe Ollie had mentioned would drop any day had definitely dropped now. Alisha showed up to pick Lincoln up around six-thirty. I was still at my desk, but I knew the last of the daycare ladies would be leaving around now. At least I’d managed to arrange for one of them to stay with him until Alisha got off work.
I still had about an hour left before I’d be able to leave for the day, so I had been super relieved when she had agreed to come get him. I stood up for the first time in hours when Alisha walked into my office holding Lincoln’s hand.
“You look like you’re having a day,” she commented, her eyes softening in sympathy. “Anything I can do to help?”
“You’re already doing the most important thing.” I rounded my desk and crossed the office to them, giving her a hug before dropping to my haunches in front of Lincoln. “Mommy has to work for a little bit longer, but I’ll be home to tuck you in later. I promise.”
I’d already let Joseph know not to worry about me for dinner. He and Ollie were the only two other people left in the office, but Ollie was mostly listening to podcasts on his phone and doing something for Joseph occasionally—like right now, he was back in Joseph’s office.
I knew they were planning on eating here, but I didn’t want to take another break. All I wanted was to finish up, go home, tuck Lincoln in and then go to bed.
Food was the last thing on my mind. I didn’t want to miss Lincoln’s bedtime because I’d taken time to break for a meal. He was much more important to me than having a slightly grumbling tummy. I’d rather just grab something when I got home.
“Don’t worry if you can’t be there on time,” Alisha said. “I can stay as late as you need me to. I’ll just crash in your bed if I get tired.”
“No, I’ll be there,” I prom
ised, then gave Lincoln a hug. “You be good for Alisha, baby, okay? Mommy will see you at bedtime.”
I’d be damned if I was going to break my promise. Lincoln smiled, shrugging his little shoulders. Apparently, he didn’t feel as strongly about the issue as I did. “Alisha knows my favorite book. It’s okay.”
Smiling, I reached out and messed up his dark hair a bit. “Is that all I am to you, a story reader?”
Alisha laughed and reached out to take Lincoln’s hand again. “Pretty sure that’s all we both are: minions to serve Master Lincoln. Now come on, tiny dictator. Let’s leave Mommy alone so she can at least try to get her work done before she rushes home.”
“What’s a dictato?” Lincoln asked, his nose scrunching up as he looked from me, to Alisha and back again.
I straightened up and smiled at him. “Dictator, baby. Since Alisha’s the one who brought it up, she’ll explain it to you on the way home.”
Winking at her, I lifted my hands with my palms up. “Hey, you break it, you buy it.”
She laughed again, but nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Get back to work. We’ll see you later. Good luck.”
After giving each of them another hug, I watched as they left my office and disappeared into the elevator at the other end of the floor. I’d wanted to introduce Lincoln and Alisha to Ollie and Joseph, but it didn’t feel like the right time to interrupt.
Just when they’d arrived, Ollie had ripped his earphones off and darted into Joseph’s office. He was still furiously tapping at a tablet in his hand now. Joseph had an intense expression on his face, his eyes unfocused but his mouth moving rapidly.
I’d been at the receiving end of all that earlier today, and holy fuck I was glad it wasn’t me in there again. That thing I had thought about him obviously being used to commanding, controlling and leading was very obviously true. But it had been different today, like someone had injected a triple dose of steroids right into that part of his personality.
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