“Mom’s car is parked out front. The driver found a spot. He’s off duty. Why?” Serena hands her grandmother the keys. “Don’t tell me you actually want to spend time with my mother.”
Her grandmother nods toward me. “You have a visitor.”
Serena turns and our eyes clash, a look of shock etched in her pale features. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Okay, not the response I had hoped for. My heart wanted Serena to leap into my arms and kiss me like there’s no tomorrow. Instead, she stands stock-still, staring at me.
“I came to see you.” My heart is in my throat.
“Well, no shit, Sherlock.” Serena rolls her eyes. “That much is obvious.”
Suddenly I can’t find the words. Again. Like when we first met. I’m a fucking disaster.
Serena’s mom chimes in with, “I knew that, and I don’t have a crystal ball.”
“Can I help you to the car?” I offer, then escort Serena’s mom to her car while Savannah gets behind the steering wheel.
Once their seatbelts are clicked firmly in place, I thank Savannah for her help.
“Don’t screw this up.” With the push of a button, the window rolls up and she drives away.
Easier said than done. I’m certain I’ll put my foot in my mouth at least a hundred more times tonight. I came, I worried, yet I didn’t think this through. For someone so methodical, who runs plays and counterplays over and over, I should have planned what to do. What to say.
By the time I close Serena’s front door and walk into her kitchen, she’s pouring water in a bowl for Puck. Bottled water. Only the best for Puck. Meanwhile, Puck is too excited to drink. She is licking Serena, and almost knocks her over as Serena pets her.
“I missed you too, Puck.” Serena kneels on the floor. My dog is getting more attention than I am. At least Serena hasn’t thrown me out. Something tells me Puck has more to do with that than I do.
“She was clawing at the door to my guest room. I had to let her out.” Though Serena’s speaking to me, she fails to look up. Not once. Instead, her eyes remain glued on Puck.
Crossing the room, I offer Serena my hand. “Puck missed you. So have I.”
My hand remains outstretched. Serena doesn’t take it. Instead she stands on her own, then leans against her kitchen island. “What brought you here tonight? My video? Or maybe it was my interview? Did you feel sorry for me?”
“No.” I take several steps forward, careful to avoid Puck, who now lies on the floor beside Serena’s feet. “Never pity. Only love.”
My admission hangs in the charged air between us. It’s an epic moment for me. The first time I’ve ever declared my love for a woman. Serena is that woman for me. It took losing her for me to realize just how much I love her. This moment should be met with kisses, with sex, with lots of sex.
Serena crosses her arms over her chest. “You can’t be serious. After everything you said? Are you sure it’s love? Perhaps you just can’t find someone easy enough for you anymore.”
Damn, that stings. But I deserve every rotten thing she can hit me with. She doesn’t know my motives. Hell, they don’t even make sense to me anymore.
I lean forward, flattening my palms on the granite behind her. On either side of her waist, so close to her that her floral perfume lingers, and her heat radiates, instantly warming me. She hasn’t run from me, hasn’t shoved me aside. Those are positive signs.
“Did you honestly think I would fall into your arms because you uttered the L word? Do you think I’m that desperate, Christian?” She uses my given name. It shatters me from deep within. This chasm of despair and guilt growing wider with every breath I take.
This woman means everything to me. Everything. I’ve lost her trust, her love…I’ve lost her. The grief is unbearable. “I don’t think you’re desperate at all. I am.”
My vision blurs, but I continue. The words, once foreign to me, tumble forth with an intense pain. “I can’t live without you. I need you. I love you. I’m desperate. Desperate for you to forgive me. Desperate for you to love me even half as much as I love you.”
It’s an admission made from anguish. I’ve lost her. That reality settles like a boulder on my chest, making my lungs heavy, my breathing shaky. “I’m desperate for you to call me Chris again. To be my partner, to love me back. Please love me back. I fucked up. I know that. I thought I was protecting you, but…”
I blink, my eyes blurry. I’m breaking down, blowing this. God damn it, I need to get my thoughts together.
Serena’s soft palm cups my face, as her gentle fingertips wipe my cheeks and eyes. They’re wet. From tears. Mine. For the first time since my mom died, I’m crying. Because Serena means that much to me.
She traces my lips with her thumb. It tastes salty as I open my eyes, searching the depths of her baby blues. That same gaze that shows such depth of compassion. I never thought she’d look at me with such devotion ever again. Yet here we are. The same magnets, drawn to each other with a pull that can’t be denied. Only it’s not sexual anymore. At least not just sexual. It’s so much more intimate, we are so much more intricate than I ever thought possible.
“Mike was destroying you because of me and I thought if I wasn’t in the picture, you’d be safe. You’d be stronger without me. And you are. But I need you. Because I’m stronger with you and I need you. Life is hell without you and it’s killing me.” My voice cracks, but I talk past the lump in my throat. “My dad called tonight. It made me realize that I let you go because I blamed myself for everything that was happening to you. I’m toxic. I’m damaged. Just like him. I’m the cause of all your problems. I never wanted that poison to touch you.”
More tears fall. I’m a fucking mess. Honestly, if I were Serena, I’d run.
Her hands tremble. “The things you said. They were cruel. You used what Evan said against me. You implied that I was easy.”
“I didn’t mean anything I said. Not one word. I couldn’t even look you in the eye or I would crack. I knew I would.” I clamp my palms over her hands. “You’re anything but easy, except when it comes to loving you. That’s easy. But you’re not easy to be away from, and you’re not easy to forget. I thought breaking things off was the only way. I thought you wouldn’t accept us being apart, let alone my reasoning.”
She chokes back a half laugh, half sob. “Of course I wouldn’t. Talk about a lame-ass plan.”
“It was. That’s why I need you.” I lean my forehead against hers, her breath fanning my face, the scent of lime reminding me of our first kiss. Vodka and lime. God, I want to kiss her so bad. “Please forgive me. Please. Take me back. I will never leave your side again. I swear it.”
Her shoulders shake. “How do I know that’s true? You left me once. In the cruelest manner. I won’t go through that again.”
“Never again, I swear.” It’s a throaty whisper, as my chest constricts. I’m vulnerable. Everything is beyond my tight control. It all rests on Serena. My life, our future. “Please forgive me. Please love me again.”
Nudging her nose with mine, Serena meets my gaze. “I don’t know if you’ve groveled enough.” Her tone drips with sarcasm.
Bending my knees, I’m about to kneel when she scoops me into her arms. “Stop. There’s been enough humiliation, don’t you think?”
She’s right. “I’m sorry.” I place my forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry.”
Nodding, she places her hand on my cheek. “I know you are. But, why profess your love now? How do I know that you’re not getting back together with me because I lost a few pounds? I will never be that woman who gets thin for a man.”
“No. I want you because all I’ve ever loved is you.” I make this statement deliberately. Because I may want her and the team, but I love only her. And she’s my top priority. From here on. “Your weight has nothing to do with this, th
ough I do miss your curves.”
“I’m working on getting them back.” She grins.
Nodding, I pull her closer to me. “I’m glad. What about me? Do you want me back, too?”
“Do you promise never to be an asshole again?”
“Never? I mean, I’m a guy.” I knew this would make her laugh. “I’ve missed your laughter. Your voice. I called—”
Serena kisses me, tracing my lips with her tongue, then exploring the deep recesses of my mouth. She tastes like vodka with lime and so much more. She was always so much more. From the moment we met. I knew it and so did she.
And she forgives me—it’s in her every kiss. Her kisses fill that wide chasm within me. The more we kiss, the more we become one, the smaller the chasm. Her kisses, caresses, soft skin, and warmth permeate the emptiness that remained after I last left her in this very kitchen.
“We’re stronger together and I was a fool for not admitting it sooner.” I nibble her earlobe.
“Yes, you were.” She pulls away, meeting my gaze, defiance radiating from her. “I can forgive, but I won’t forget. For us to move forward together, we must be partners. We’re in this together. You can’t make anymore boneheaded decisions for us.”
She’s terrified that I’ll hurt her again. “I promise to never take you for granted. I promise to love you always. I promise to fight by your side, and never break your trust in me ever again.”
Even in my own mind, they feel like vows. I sense the significance and Serena does, too.
“What about your boneheaded decisions?” She wears sarcasm like the latest fashion trend.
I can’t help but smile. “I will run all boneheaded decisions by you first.” I place my hand over my heart. It belongs to her. Now and always. “You have my word.”
Puck yawns at our feet, releasing a loud sigh. “We’re boring her.” I try to make light of it to cover for the fact that I’m scared shitless that Serena will still reject me.
Tears fall from Serena’s eyes. “I gave you my trust, which wasn’t easy, and you threw it back at me. How do I know you’ll keep your promises this time?”
Wiping her eyes with the pads of my fingers, I say the only thing I can to convince her. “Because I love you. That love I feel for you is precious, and I will do anything to protect it. Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I never told you that I dread my dad’s calls. I avoid him, because he’s a constant reminder of how it feels to be unloved. I don’t want that. Especially when what I feel for you is more than anything I could have ever imagined. I won’t ever take that for granted. Not again.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me, whispering, “I love you, Chris.”
Here, in her kitchen, where everything turned to shit, I cling to her tight as a wave of relief washes over me, cleansing me of all that happened prior. It’s just us. A new start. A second chance that I won’t screw up.
Serena places just enough distance between us that her lips hover over mine. I part mine, waiting for her to make the next move. This is the risk she’s taking, the trust I need to rebuild. I know it, kissing her nose. She then melds her lips to mine, probing with her tongue. Her kisses are soft, filled with yearning.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispers. Though she doesn’t repeat my promises, she doesn’t have to. I know she will honor the same vows. Even more so. Because Serena doesn’t love anyone halfway.
I’m going to spend the rest of tonight making up for every day we were apart, every moment we missed, every kiss I owe her. Now, and always, I’ll make it up to her. Because she deserves nothing less. And I owe her so much more.
Chapter 20
Christian
I return from walking Puck with pastries, croissants, and Serena’s favorite iced latte at the crack of dawn. Serena is still asleep upstairs while I organize a plate and bring it up to her. Stretching, she smiles as I enter. “You’re awake?”
“Um-hum. And you brought sustenance. I was hoping you’d bring me something yummy.” She’s rocking her flirty, sexy, hotter-than-hot vibe, with the sheet stretching across her breasts and a come-hither twinkle in her eyes. “Not that last night wasn’t delicious.”
My blood rushes straight to my cock, like she knew it would. She’s referring to the blow job she gave me, and it was the best of my life. Then again, everything she does to me is fucking ecstasy, so it’s no surprise.
Setting the plate on the bed, I check my phone again. Shit’s blowing up for Mike, and I can’t pretend it doesn’t thrill me. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving asshole. “The team has called us in for a meeting. I’m gonna have to leave in a few.”
Serena kisses me as I lean over her. “Mike?”
I nod. She knows everything. The info I gave to the pap last night. How I chose to shut Mike down. She also approves, noting it wasn’t the least bit boneheaded of a decision.
“Let me pack a few things. We’ll drive together.” She nibbles on a cheese Danish as she rises from under the sheet, then enters her walk-in closet.
As she stands in the doorway, I study her body. Her curves have changed, and I miss her more pronounced hourglass figure. Of course, she’s still hot as hell and has promised to take care of herself. I expect she’ll be back to her normal weight in no time. Which is perfect as far as I’m concerned.
I bridge the distance between us as she steps into a thong, kissing the curve of her neck and splaying my palms across her breasts. “How long are you staying with me?”
Forever is what I want to hear. Hopefully that will come soon enough. For now, I’d settle for a day or two.
“How long would you like me to stay?” She leans against me, trailing her arm up my sleeve to the hair at the back of my neck. She runs her fingers through it, then grasps tight. “I was hoping to catch your home opener, if there are tickets left. I’m sure Becca will join me if I ask her.”
“You got it.” Hell, I’ll do anything for her.
Rounding on me, Serena’s intense gaze holds mine. “Full disclosure: the thought of going public terrifies me. Keep your promises, okay?”
I kiss her forehead. This featherlight kiss that makes my own spine quiver. “I’ll keep every single one. Always.”
Never have I meant something more. I won’t hurt her again. I take last night’s vows seriously. I’ll make her believe it through my actions as well as my words.
We pack up the Rover and drive straight to the stadium, holding hands whenever possible. I’ve missed holding her hand. So much so that I don’t want to let go. But I’ve got to when we arrive at the stadium.
Serena kisses me, a soul-shattering kiss that leaves me weak, before getting behind the wheel. “Puck and I will meet you at home.”
Home. A simple word, yet it makes my heart leap with joy. Just like the word love. Because the implications are of a future together, as one. We discussed it last night, but Serena remains skittish, and she has every right to be. Given time, I’ll prove her wrong. “I like the sound of that.”
Smiling, Serena adds, “Then you’d better get used to it.”
“I plan to.” I wink before she drives away, and I join the others.
The stadium is state-of-the-art and one of the most impressive in the league. Every time I walk into it, I’m in awe. This time is no different. The team, the coaches, and staff are all in the stands that surround the ice. Nick’s the first to find me. “Where were you?”
“In Manhattan. Serena and I got back together last night.” My smile is wide and goofy. I know it, and don’t bother to try and hide it.
Nick claps my shoulder. “Congrats, Chris. It’s about damn time.”
“Hell yeah,” the Demon chimes in. “You two make a great couple. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” Their support has meant a lot to me, especially during my separation from Serena a
nd when it comes to Mike. Speaking of Mike, I find him in the crowd. “He’s here?”
“Yeah,” Ian says from behind. “He’ll be traded. Until then, he’s on a tight leash. You didn’t hear that from me, right?”
He walks past us like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just break some golden rule by confiding in players.
“I think we passed the test, Demon,” Nick laughs.
Yeah, we did. We’re a team. The Nighthawks are coming together. I couldn’t be more proud, or feel more humble, to be a part of this organization. I’m grateful beyond words.
When our owner and the execs join us, we’re in for quite the pep talk. Preparing us for our opener at home, and doing damage control about Mike, though they never mention him directly. He’s been neutered. That much is obvious, and no one on the team seems sorry about it. He’s burned a lot of bridges.
When Marcus Noble asks me to speak, as team captain, after our coach, I’m a little overwhelmed. “It’s an honor to be a Nighthawk. To work as a team and come together. That’s the only way we’ll succeed. Together. Together, we’ll win that cup. Together, we’ll exceed expectations. Together, we’ll break records. Because we are the Nighthawks. We are family. No one can take that away from us. We won’t let them. Because together, we will rule this league!”
The shouts and whistles reach an earsplitting pitch. Everyone is pumped.
That energy sustains us through our first home game, where every seat is filled, including Serena’s. The network picks her out of the crowd, and a live shot of Serena is on the Jumbotron. Wearing my jersey, a red cap, and lipstick to match, she’s rocking the look. It fills me with pride. Then my team claps and cheers the Jumbotron. They’re supporting her—they’re supporting us—like a family would. Which is all I could ever want.
It also makes me want to beat the crap out of our opposing team. I do have a reputation to uphold, especially in front of my girl. So, I perform a hat trick on the ice, then another off the ice when we get home.
Ice Hot Page 20
