"See, why can't you be like this all of the time?" I asked jokingly.
He laughed a little. "I don't think that you would like it very much if I looked at anyone else this way."
I blushed immediately. I wonder just how much it would bother me. It's not like Jack was my boyfriend or anything. I did like him though, a lot. And I think he likes me too, I just can't read him. I can't figure out why he likes me, or if he even wants to like me.
"Would you?" he asked.
"I...um no, I mean yes, I think, maybe." I couldn't look him in the eyes at this point. No one I have ever met made me a verbal mess the way he makes me. I sighed.
"What I’m trying to say is that you can look at whoever you want in that way. Just please don't look at me that way if you do. Does that make sense?" It probably didn’t, it barely made sense to me.
He pondered on it for a moment, looking at my face, searching again. "Yes, I think it does. Shall we?" And that was the end of that discussion. Jack held out his arm for me to take and we strolled down the street towards the shopping center.
We walked in complete silence for twenty minutes. I wanted so badly to talk to him some more. I wanted to know what this was, what he wanted this to be. He said that he thinks he knows what I meant before, but does he care? It wasn't until we were walking the isles in the costume shop that one of us actually said anything.
"So what did you have in mind?" Jack asked.
I was so dazed that it startled me to hear his voice bring me back to reality. "Excuse me?"
"For a costume, what did you have in mind?"
"Nothing really, I hadn't even thought about it. What about you?" I asked as I scanned the racks of cheesy costumes and skanky outfits. Yuck, I would never wear any of these. Maybe I could just throw on a sheet and cut two holes out for my eyes.
"Oh, I already have mine."
"What? Then why are you here?" I asked.
"Well, to help you pick out an outfit of course," he replied with a crooked smile. I saw him glance at me from the corner of his eye. "Plus, it was a good excuse to see you again."
We looked at each other and, for a second, I felt like he was going to lean in and kiss me again. But he didn't, he just stared.
"So, tell me something about you," he suggested.
I huffed in frustration. "Like what?"
"I don't know, anything, all I know is that you work at the gallery and my sister absolutely adores you."
"Well that's pretty much me in a nutshell. There really isn't a whole lot to know about me." It was true, except for the fact that my roommates are fairies and I was raised by my young, eccentric aunt because my father is away on safari in Africa. But I didn't want to talk about me right now. If he was in the mood to chat then I wanted some answers. "I'm sure you're way more interesting. Like what do you do? Where do you live?"
"Well, I travel around a lot. I do quite a bit of work for Celi's gallery, signing artists and all that. I do work with other galleries here and there. I guess you could call me a freelance representative. I currently live with Celadine, but most of the time I live where ever I am at that point in time."
"That’s kind of sad. I mean, not having a place to call your own."
"I have a home with Celadine. The house she lives in has been in our family for...a very long time," he replied and grinned to himself. But there it was! It’s that same absent, cryptic code that they always talked in around me, like I’m too naive or stupid to be able to handle the truth.
"So what's the deal with you guys anyways?" I asked. I was taking a risk here. He could answer my question or he could shut me out. I was betting the latter of the two.
"What do you mean?" Jack asked innocently. But I could see through it. I could see there was something that I didn't know, and it was driving me nuts. Maybe he was married? That would explain the secretive behaviour. It would also explain why Celadine was so angry that Jack was pursuing me.
"Well, Celadine doesn't seem to be too pleased that you and I are spending time together." I had to be careful with the way I worded things. I didn't want him to think that I thought this was something more than what it may actually be. "You guys were arguing at the gallery, so why would she care so much?"
Jack seemed to be having an internal argument with himself. His face frowned as he concentrated on what to say. "Well, my sister cares for you a great deal, more than a mere employee or a friend even. She was never one for...sharing."
I was totally confused. "Is Celadine gay?" I whispered to Jack. He threw his head back and practically cackled in laughter.
"No need to make fun, geez. You don't really explain things clearly. I'm kind of putting together a puzzle without all of the pieces, ya know?" I crossed my arms and huffed, looking away in embarrassment.
Jack moved closer to me and laid both his hands on my shoulders. They felt like iron claws gripping both my arms, yet he was gentle. He lifted my face with a finger under my chin to meet his eyes.
"It is not my business to tell you about Celadines life. But I can assure you one thing, she is not gay. She just values you as a daughter, maybe even a sister; I guess you could say, considering the age difference."
"Oh, well then, I feel silly." I tried to put my head down, but he wouldn't let me. "Um, so what do you value me as?" I asked. He was giving me all the wrong answers, it made me happy to know that Celadine cared for me as much as I cared for her, but I still needed to know Jacks agenda.
"Well, at first I was just curious to see my sisters’ interest in you." He let me go then, and backed away. "But now, I don’t know." He appeared ashamed, almost, as he admitted this. Maybe he did have another life somewhere else, and I was just some little fling he was considering. Well, I wasn't about to let myself get trampled all over by some guy, no matter how beautiful and tempting he may be.
"I see, well if you're not sure then maybe you should stop wasting your time and leave." I grabbed the closest packaged costume and headed to the checkout counter. As the lady rang me in, I heard the bell ring signalling someone entering or leaving. I didn't need to look up to see that it was someone leaving.
"You can get the body glitter half price with this costume," mentioned the lady at the checkout. She was shorter than me with half of her head shaved and the other half was dyed yellow.
Engulfed in my own rage, I wasn't even paying attention to her, so when she spoke it confused me.
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, trying my best to pay attention.
"The body glitter. You can get it for half price with any of the fairy costumes." She was kind of looking annoyed now.
I glanced down at the package I randomly picked up. It was a green and pink fairy princess costume. What a coincidence, Julie and Lattie would love this. I chuckled and nodded to the lady as she threw the glitter in my bag.
Chapter Twenty-Cryptic
I concentrated extra hard in school the next day. I wanted, more than anything, to not think about Jack. I had gotten barely any sleep last night because I lay wide eyed in bed trying to figure him out.
Did he like me? If he did, he seemed pretty guilty about it. I just wish that he would talk to me about it. If Jack does have an interest in me and it's already this difficult to even be friends, then there's obviously no hope. Lattie wasn't even home for me to talk to and distract myself. She was out gallivanting with fig fairies or something. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I spent almost my entire night obsessing over Jack, I wasn't about to spend my day doing it.
"Problems?" asked Max beside me. "You seem more crazy than usual."
"None of your business Max, I just didn't get much sleep," I groaned back at her. I focused on my project in front of me. Art always helped me to concentrate or distract myself, get away from certain things in my life. When I was younger it would help me to forget that my dad was always gone.
"Not that I car
e or anything," she huffed as she crossed her legs and sat all proper and stuck up like she usually does. "I just don't fancy sitting next to a nut job."
"Funny, neither do I," I replied and shot her a glare. What does she think that it's rainbows and sunshine sitting next to her all the time?
The bell rang and I got up to gather my things. It was Tuesday and I was due at the gallery. I wanted to get over there as early as possible and get out, avoiding the risk of running into Celadine and her asking questions that I myself still didn't have answers to. Or worse, run into Jack. A sudden rush of frustration ran over me as his face popped into my head.
"Hey, chill," Max said, mistaking my anger as a personal attack on her. "Just trying to be civil," she added mockingly.
I turned on my heel to face her. "Max, for someone who is a professional bitch twenty four seven, you're not very understanding of someone who is just having a bad day," I snapped.
Everyone stopped and began to stare; probably anticipating round two between Max and I. She flushed pretty red and began to vibrate in anger.
I noticed whenever she got really pissed that she actually emitted a wave of heat, like standing right next to someone who just jumped off the treadmill. Maybe I shouldn't push her today. I wasn’t in the mood to get nearly beaten to death again.
"Hey, simmer down. I didn't mean that," I surrendered. "But I am having a really bad day, actually a bad week."
She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes like she was concentrating. Maybe Max was getting help for her anger issues. She actually seemed to be able to calm herself down a little. "It's okay. And, no, you're right. I should be more understanding; it's hard to care about other people when I’ve never wanted to."
Wow. I was shocked. That actually sounded somewhat sincere. Or am I in such a bad mood that Max appears somewhat sane next to me? "Uh, it's cool, don't worry," I assured her. "I've gotta get going though, I’m due at the gallery today.” I turned to leave this uncomfortable conversation as fast as I could.
It felt very strange to end a conversation with Max and not have broken anything or fought the urge to slap her. Maybe there was hope for us after all.
I was headed across the parking lot, towards my bike, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find Max, who looked very antsy.
"What do you want Max?" I asked impatiently, almost scared to hear the answer as I threw my bag on the back of the Vespa.
"Why are you having a bad week?" she blurted out. What was she doing? I know she doesn't care about my life enough to follow me out here and ask. Was she just being nosey?
"Why?"
"Well, you just seem to like, I dunno, need to talk about it or something," she replied, awkwardly.
"Max, look, don't do this. We can be civil; we don't need to be best buddies or anything."
"Why won’t you tell me?!" she snapped in anger. I rolled my eyes, here we go.
"Max! It's none of your business!" I screamed back. "Plus, I don't feel like talking about it! And you know what? If I did want to talk about it, I wouldn't come to you! You can't treat me like a leper, throw me through glass doors and almost push me over a five story balcony and expect me to just forget it!" I hopped on my bike, gave her one last glare and took off.
None of those things had anything to do with anything right now, but I was so angry. I probably could have handled that a lot better, but I just don't care right now. The last thing that I need is another cryptic person to keep me up at night trying to decipher them. One is enough.
Chapter Twenty One-Iron Worlder
I parked my bike just outside of the gallery where I usually did. I glanced around, searching for Celadines little white sports car. Besides Mona’s car, the parking lot was empty, so I sighed in relief and headed towards the grand entrance. Mona was at her usual station, eyes glued to her computer.
"Hey Mona," I greeted unenthusiastically. She peered up from the screen long enough to force a half smile for me. I must say, she is trying. "Um, is Celadine here?" I asked.
"No, Mrs. Danes is out with her brother tonight. She called and said to tell you that the freight already came in and she took care of it. You are free to take the night off, if you wish."
Well, this sucked. I really didn't want to take the chance of running in to either one of them, but I was looking forward to the distraction of work for a few hours. Now I’ll just go home and obsess some more. I let out a heavy and disappointed sigh and waved goodbye to Mona.
On my way home, I thought about what Mona had said and wondered if the freight really did come in. Or is this Celadines way of giving me some space from her and Jack? I'll admit, I’m a little relieved, but I didn't want to be this pathetic basket case to her, or Jack. God, no wonder I never date, deep down I must have known that no good can come of it. The stress, the obsessing and insecurity, I hate it. And, technically, I’m not even dating.
I dragged my emotionally tired body up the stairs to the apartment. When I entered, it only took me a second to realize that I was alone. Julie was working at the library and, when I checked my room, Lattie was off frolicking again. I grabbed the phone and plopped down on the couch to call Tess. She should be able to keep me busy for a while. She'd talk for hours if I let her.
"Hey sweetie, oh it's so good to hear your voice. It's been way too long. You guys have only visited me once since school started," Tess accused on the other end.
"Yeah, sorry Tess, things have been a little crazy around here lately." I thought of Julies secret and our new roommate. And then there was the whole psycho fairy issue. But I could ever tell Tess about any of it.
"I'm real busy at the gallery and Julie has a boyfriend now, so that takes up a lot of her free time." I mentally punched myself after I mentioned Will. Once Tess got on the topic of boys, suddenly my own lack of boys became the new topic. "Um, we're having a Halloween party here at the apartment this weekend, wanna come? You have to dress up."
"Oh sounds like fun!" she squealed, obviously quickly distracted from the boy topic. "What's your costume?"
"Well, actually, I have a fairy princess outfit." I laughed. I never thought about how much Tess would love it too, like Julie and Lattie would. But, there was only a long pause on the other end of the line.
"Well, that sounds nice, can't wait to see it," she finally replied weakly.
"Hey, you should go as a fairy queen!”
She laughed awkwardly then. "Um, sure, I'll go shopping for something tomorrow. When's the party?"
"Friday night. Tess, are you alright?" I asked.
"Yes, yes I’m fine. Why?"
"Well you're just being...weird." The last thing I need is another weird person on my hands right now.
"Oh, no sweetie, I'm just thinking about how nice it's gonna be to see you guys. I miss you so much. But, I have to go meet a client. So I’ll talk to you this weekend?"
Liar, she was so bad at it, worse than me even.
"Okay Tess, love you."
"Love you too, tell Jules I said hi." And she hung up. That was really bizarre, but then again, everything in my life was sort of bizarre right now. Nothing felt right. I couldn't shake this feeling either, that something was about to happen. I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, but it left me feeling uneasy and a little helpless. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. Only six thirty. I moaned and slumped further down into the couch where I slowly drifted off.
I awoke to the sound of people whispering above my head.
"No, you wake her. She's used to that."
"But she looks so tired; if Avery needs rest then I refuse to wake her," whispered a musical little voice, Latties voice. I opened my eyes then, to peer up at my roommates hovering over me. Lattie was perched on Julies shoulder, playing with a strand of her blonde hair.
"Hey guys, what's up?" I said through a yawn. I stretched and sat up. The clock i
n the kitchen told me that I had slept for four hours. It was the longest time I had spent in the past two days with my mind at ease. No obsessing, no distractions. It was nice.
"Well, we were going to go to a party and figured you'd be up for going," Julie said.
"No, you thought that Avery would want to go. I thought she should rest," Lattie interrupted.
I smiled. Lattie was such a good friend. Always caring about me and worrying about me. "It’s okay; I got in a pretty good nap. I'm up for a party. Where is it?"
"In the park, the summer fairies feel like celebrating again. They are hoping that, if they celebrate enough, their Queen will return to them," Lattie explained with enthusiasm.
I frowned. "Oh, a fey party, I dunno guys. Last time wasn't so good for me. You know, with the drowning and all," I replied sarcastically.
"Hey, we’ll make sure that you stay away from the lake." Julie had excitement in her eyes. I could tell that she was aching to go and see other fey, and she wanted me there. How could I say no?
But, I hesitated, the thought of experiencing another night like that one made me feel ill. “I don’t know you guys.”
“Please,” Julie pleaded. “I’ve never been to anything like this.”
I sighed. Julie grew up all alone, no others of her kind to be with or learn from. I wanted to go and share that moment with her, but, on the other hand, I value my life. "Well, as long as you promise to keep me away from the lake, then I’ll go. But please make sure I don't get stuck in a tree with nymphs stuffing things down my pants."
A little while later, we found ourselves wandering through the woods in the park. I was smart and brought a flashlight this time. It was taking a little longer to find the party than before. Jules and Lattie were ahead of me but I had to plop down on a rock to take a break.
"Sorry guys, I need a breather for a sec." I sat there, thinking how ridiculous this was. Here I am, trampling through the stupid trees again, searching for a party where I could very well end up doing something idiotic again. Suddenly, I heard a rustling in the branches above me. I pointed the flashlight up to see what creature was there when a little sprite dangled down to my face from a vine.
Iron & Wine (The Iron World Series) Page 13
