I, Detective
By Anthony North
Copyright Anthony North 2013
Cover image copyright, Yvonne North 2013
Other books by Anthony North
I, TRILOGY INTRODUCTORY VOLUME
I, STORYTELLER SERIES
I, POET SERIES
Inmate Earth: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/237329
Bard Stuff: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/252874
Mind Burps: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/272508
Verse Fest: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/302837
I, THINKER SERIES
I, Paranormal: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/237339
I, Essayist: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/259928
I, Society: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/272861
I, Unexplained: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/303478
I, Observer: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/304480
CONTENTS
Introduction
NOVA
To Begin Again
Photo-Shoot
Banking on the Future
A Gangland Tale
Only Kidding
Life in Suspense
MARMADUKE GREY
Body of Evidence
Our American Friend
A Shot In the Dark
HARD COP, SOFT COP
A Ministerial Affair
Run, Daddy, Run
Who Trespass Against Us
THE MATILDA CHRONICLES
The Case of the Errant Husband
The Case of the Uninvited Guest
The Case of the Poisoned Pen
BONUS - CUTHBERT KING
Matchbreaker
About the Author
Connect With Anthony
INTRODUCTION
You’ll find every type of crime and all manner of detectives in this dip-in volume of 16 short stories. Meet Cass Nova, who just can’t separate his personal and professional life. Go back to the 19th century with Marmaduke Grey; experience the battle of different detection methods in Hard Cop, Soft Cop; and as for The Matilda Chronicles … please forgive me, Agatha.
NOVA
TO BEGIN AGAIN
I suppose it was one of those days - you know, the sort where you wish you'd stayed in bed. But then again, maybe not. Jenny, my wife, had come back. She'd left me for another man, but now she'd come back. And why? Because she wanted a kid.
Of course, she said it would save our marriage, but I saw through that. After all, I AM a detective. And there were giveaways, such as the other day when she phoned me at work, said, 'I’m ovulating,' and had me screw her in the car park.
DCI Groves invaded my thoughts, then.
'DI Nova.' I looked up. 'We've got reports of trouble at St Michael's church. Get over there.'
Me and Groves didn't get on. I thought him a fat git. He thought me a skinny runt. But a working relationship was had nonetheless. I said, ‘yes guv,’ and left the office. Drove over in my car.
DC Sandy Powers was waiting outside for me.
I hated Sandy. She hadn't been here long, but with long, dark hair, a beautiful face and incredible body, she did things to me.
I said: 'What's happening?'
'Looks like someone's gone berserk in the church, guv.'
Cop cars were beginning to arrive, S019 had been called, a cordon was being made. A group of parishioners huddled by the corner, some with blood on them, a medic or two treating them for shock.
From Sandy and the parishioners I got a simple story. A new guy to the church - Martin Saunders - had gone loopy, took out a knife, and knifed one of the parishioners to death. Saunders was still in there with the body and, of course, the knife.
'Do you know what caused it?' I asked.
Of course, none of them did. But I got a hint. They were all old - the youngest must be sixty - and Saunders was only thirty. And following a quick check with PNC, it was all there. He'd been a villain in the past - two stretches inside for robbery - and now he'd gone straight. Found religion - a Born Again Christian, they call them. But had not found a congregation open-minded enough to accept him.
I took off my jacket and put on a stab-vest. ‘I’m going in,’ I said.
Sandy Powers shook her head. 'Is that a good idea, guv.'
'Sandy,' I said, ‘I’m DI Nova. All my ideas are reckless. Don't you know that?'
She nodded her head this time. Bitch. Gorgeous bitch.
It was an old church. Inside it was dark and musty. I adjusted my eyes to the light and saw him by the altar. 'Hi,' I said, 'my name's Cass. What's yours?'
He looked up, surprised, taking his eyes off the bloodied body on the floor. He held the knife awkwardly, as if he didn't want it. He said, stumblingly: 'Martin.'
‘It's a bit of a mess, isn't it Martin.'
We both looked at the body, then, and I thought, what a stupid thing to say.
I often did stupid things. Take last night. Ending up with Big Maggie again. I'd known Big Maggie for years, ever since I first booked her.
She was a Tom. But there was something about her I couldn't resist - and I don't mean her obvious attributes. Yes, we screwed - and she never charged. But she also listened to me. Understood me. I could never love Maggie. But she was important in my life.
I looked Martin straight in the eyes. Saw the mania in them.
'Why did you do it, Martin?' I asked.
He thought hard about it. Said: 'Because ...’
'Because what?'
'Because I'm Jesus Christ.'
So there we have it. This guy is going to no prison, that’s for sure. Several years in a maximum security hospital and a life of pills - more stable than religion, obviously. Apart from when they don't take them and pretend to be someone else again.
Well, I ramble. So I said to Jesus: 'You've got to put the knife down.' And I knew he would do so. The frenzy was over, and Jesus had become a pacifist again. But as Sandy and a couple of uniforms moved forward to arrest him, I never expected that ...
Infact, it prayed on my mind for the rest of the day - you know, the lengths some people will go to prove a point.
Like Jenny, that night. You see, she was ovulating again - and after the fourth time, I was shaking. And Martin Saunders was still in my mind, bent down by the body, saying - pleading - 'Resurrect! For I am the Lord thy God.'
PHOTO-SHOOT
When life isn't going right, you just have to moan, don't you? You know you shouldn't, but that little demon inside wants some sympathy. And I'd moaned to Big Maggie. Indeed, I seemed to spend more nights with Big Maggie than I did with Jenny, my wife.
We were hot and sweaty and Big Maggie was naked, and I said: 'All she wants is a baby. That's why she came back, I'm certain.’
'Sure Cass.'
'I reckon the guy she went off with couldn't have kids. That's it. And it's not making love. I'm on a production line.'
'I kinda know what that is,' said Big Maggie. After all, she was a Tom.
In the end, she threw me out. Muttered something about my problems costing her money, me staying all night.
Selfish – that’s what she is. And I was still fuming when I got to the station and opened the envelope.
I went straight to see DCI Groves. 'Look at this guv,' I said.
Groves had a look. It was a photo of Jack Bradley, a known villain, pulling a recent robbery.
'I think you'd better go and bring him in,' said Groves. 'It looks like someone's doing our job for us.'
I took Sandy Powers with me. Drove over to Jack Bradley's flat. I banged on the door. 'Jack, open up, its DI Nova. We want a word.'
There was no answer, so I booted the door in. We checked the flat, but it was empty.
'He's even t
aken his clothes,' said DC Sandy Powers as she closed the wardrobe.
She looked good in a bedroom. I so wished it was mine. Instead of Jenny.
Oh, Sandy, don't you realise what you do to a hormonal male like me?
I said: 'There's nothing more to do now.' I looked at my watch. Smiled. 'How about a drink?'
Sandy shook her head. She'd obviously heard about me. 'I don't mix personal and professional, guv.'
I said: 'There's always a price. What's yours?'
Sandy said: 'Maybe if you save my life.' But I could tell she liked me really.
Eventually, we made it back to the station, where - guess what? - another envelope had arrived. Pulling it open, I found a picture of Jack Bradley beating the hell out of someone. Turning it round, there was an address on the back.
Sandy looked over my shoulder. 'Someone really doesn't like Jack Bradley, do they?'
I had to agree, but there was a sneaking suspicion at the back of my mind that something wasn't right. But a lead is a lead.
We drove over to the address, my mind racing, trying to figure out what I was missing.
Sandy disturbed my thoughts. Said: 'And how's Mrs Nova today?'
Okay Sandy, I thought, I get the message. No more chat up lines. I didn't bother answering. This vision just came into my mind of the scene that drove me to Big Maggie's.
'You're never in,' Jenny had said.
'I'm a copper,' I had replied.
'All night?' she had retorted.
A lull. Then: 'I don't think you're committed to this relationship.'
Which was rich. I said: ‘It was you who left me, remember.'
She placed her hands on hips. 'Typical,' she said, 'you always have to bring that up, don't you?'
Which was too much for me.
My mind returned to the problem in hand as we pulled up at the address we had been given. Sandy went round the back while I approached the front. Taking out my asp, I tried the door and found it open. Slowly, I walked in, hoping to surprise Jack Bradley. Which, of course, I did. But then he went and surprised me by pointing a gun at me.
'Now come on, Jack,' I said, 'this isn't your style.'
Jack said: 'It is now. And anyway, Mr Nova, someone said you was coming to get me. And you're not taking me in again.'
I began to sweat as I saw him put pressure on the trigger.
I wondered if I could get to him in time, but knew I couldn't. Then, out the corner of the eye, I saw the creeping figure of Sandy.
Well, the rest was a bit sloppy. Sandy distracted him, I hit out with the asp, the gun fell to the floor, he got to it first, and was about to blow Sandy's head off when I pounced.
Outside, Jack Bradley speeding off in a police van, I said: 'Well Sandy, it looks like I just saved your life.'
Her eyes were vacant a moment - expressionless. Then she burst into laughter. And I didn't need Big Maggie that night. And I never thought of Jenny once.
But my good mood disappeared the next morning when I got to work. I opened the envelope straight away. The picture made me reel. It was of Jack Bradley holding a gun.
DCI Groves said the unsaid: 'It's clear to me, DI Nova. You were set up. Someone wants you dead.'
BANKING ON THE FUTURE
Nothing sharpens the mind more than knowing someone wants you dead. I suppose it would be easier if I'd known who. But it was impossible to speculate. As a detective, I'd put dozens of villain s away. And it could be any of them. And anyway, Sandy Powers had proved a suitable distraction. I just knew she wanted me!
'I don't like this, Cass,' she had said after a couple of hours of passion. I allowed her to call me Cass off duty.
I felt insulted at first, until I realised she wasn't judging my performance.
'I don't do the other woman thing. And if I hadn't known your marriage is all but over, I wouldn't touch you.'
Which was a fair comment. Hence, I resolved to finish with Jenny once and for all. After all, she'd already left me once. And okay, I knew it would hurt her, because she so much wanted a baby. But we were hardly a couple, even if she had put me on a production line concerning said conception.
I'd picked the day I would tell her, and was thinking of this as I sat at my desk, when DCI Groves came over and told me of Johnson Mullins.
Mullins was a weasely, sickly sort of man, and even his designer suit couldn't take that away as he sat in the interview room.
'DI Nova,' I said as I walked in. 'What can I do for you?'
DC Sandy Powers was with me and he told us - of how he was manager of a local bank. Of how that morning two men had burst into his house and held his wife hostage. Of how she would die if he didn't help a gang rob his bank at one o'clock that afternoon.
'It's gonna be one of those days,' I said to Sandy as we drove to the Mullins house. First priority was always the safety of the public.
She laughed. To her, every day was one of those days.
By the time we arrived there were several plain police cars and maybe a dozen coppers, moving around the place in an as normal a way as possible. Which was, of course, impossible. The house had been raided and Mrs Mullins released. And as I walked into the house, I was immediately surprised at the two villains responsible for this heinous crime.
‘Weasel, I said to one of them, ‘what the hell are you doing on a job like this? You’re normally a petty little man.’
'Six kids, Mr Nova. A demanding wife. A man's got to make a living.'
'So tell me,' I continued, 'who are you working with? Who's going to do the bank?'
Weasel shook his weasely head. 'Don't know what you talking about Mr Nova. What bank? I don’t like banks.'
I knew I'd get nothing more out of him. Not that he could purposely hide something from me. I just didn't think he knew himself. He just wasn't the type for this kind of job.
'Something's not right,' I said to Sandy as we drove to the high street.
To the trained eye, the surveillance around the bank stuck out a mile, but to others it all seemed innocuous enough. I parked the car and Sandy and I entered the white van by the side of the road.
It was a typical high street. The bank had about half a dozen shops close by, another bank across the road, and a cafe opposite. Apart from the van I was in, there were six plain clothes officers around the street, a couple in the bank itself, and two cars ready for any high speed chase. Checking my watch, it was close to one o'clock. And providing they didn't know Mrs Mullins was released, we could expect activity any time.
By quarter past one I was beginning to relax. Nothing had happened. Hence, I exited the van and had a walk up and down the street. Stopping by one of the police cars, I said: 'Everything alright?'
'Sure guv,' said the copper inside. 'Although the idiots hiding in the other bank nearly gave it away.'
I nodded, and had walked six paces away before it hit me.
It took me some time to mobilise the troops. But by the time they walked out, they were all in the bag.
'Nice operation,' said DCI Groves, later that afternoon. 'How did you realise so fast?'
It was obvious by now. My nose just didn’t believe a gang of armed robbers would use someone as stupid as Weasel. And I reckoned they had planned on Mullins being such a shit that he would go to the police regardless. And with a decoy raid set up, the cheeky sods even pretended to be police on the operation to get into the other bank.
It had turned into a perfect day, topped by a late afternoon session with Sandy. And then, off home to Jenny. Check out the mood, and then end it. The future was at last sorted and I felt good.
But so, unfortunately, did Jenny. 'Cass,' she said as I walked in. Running over to me, putting her arms around me, she said: 'Guess what. I'm pregnant.’
A GANGLAND TALE
It was a bit rich, if you ask me. There I was, knowing there was someone out there who wanted me dead, and here I was doing my bit for witness protection.
'You're not happy, are you Nova.'
The speaker was Joe 'Lucky' Barnes, a rising gangster in the city. At least, he was - until last week when he decided to turn Supergrass.
I ignored the question. Said: 'I don't get it. Of all the louses in gangland, you were the last one I'd thought would turn grass. Your bosses liked you; you were heading to the top. Why?'
'Lucky' Barnes remained quiet. Sipped his coffee. Looked out the window of his safehouse.
DC Sandy Powers hovered around, a face like stone.
'Everything quiet?' I asked.
'No,' she said. 'You're speaking.'
Barnes smirked.
I guessed it would be like that. Sandy and me had been an item, but when I found out my Jenny was pregnant, something had to go. ‘I’m sorry, Sandy,' I had said, 'but we've got to end it. I don't know, maybe there IS a chance of saving my marriage.'
I was saved from further mental battering from Sandy by a call from DCI Groves.
'Nova,' he said, 'get over here. Surveillance is complete. We're going to bring them in now.'
Half an hour later, I was vested and ready for S019 to go in. I suppose this was what Barnes' de-brief was all about. At last, we had all three of the bosses together in the same house. And with Lucky's information, we could put them away for decades.
The house was exclusive, set in huge gardens, and there was little chance of civilians being injured if the operation went wrong. But with the amount of guns we had, that was unlikely.
Groves fussed about – he always did on big operations. And in we went.
At first it went to plan, but then …
'You look terrible,' said Jenny that night when I got home.
‘It was a hectic day,' I said.
Jenny guessed what was wrong. She'd seen it on the news. The bungled police operation. A huge firefight. Three people dead.
Well at least, I thought, it was only the bosses. The world could do without them.
'And how are you?' I asked, trying to play the dutiful husband for once.
Jenny didn't answer. Something was wrong, I could tell.
Finally, she said: 'You're having an affair, aren't you?'
Which took me by surprise. 'Cos for the first time I can remember, I wasn't. But although I quietened her down, I could see that Jenny was beginning to lose it. However, the conversation was curtailed by my phone.
'Nova,' I said.
'Guv, it's Sandy,' said Sandy Powers. 'I think you'd better get over here quick.'
I, Detective Page 1
