by Lila Rose
Though, when I moved to a smaller one, I found some notepads, two pencils, a pen, and some romantic paperbacks.
I huffed out a breath and wiped at my eyes again. Maybe I could read them to death or stab them with a pencil before they could kill me.
Useless.
That was how I felt.
Utterly useless.
Why were they keeping me around? Why hadn’t they killed me like Donny?
Why did they even have to kill Donny?
I should have fought more. Saved him somehow.
A sob caught in my throat. I moved to the tiny basin in the toilet room under the stairs and washed my face, trying to get my emotions under control. I knew it wouldn’t last. I had nothing but time to think about what had happened. About seeing Donny’s lifeless eyes stare at me.
I gripped the sink. Another sob had my body jerking.
This wasn’t fair.
None of it.
I stormed from the room and flicked my hand out at a box. The box crashed to the floor. I kicked another and it flew forwards. I picked up another and threw it across the room. I screamed, yelled, and cried. My pain took over as I gripped my hair and tugged.
Why Donny?
Why that girl?
Why did Dad die?
Why was I left here?
Why wasn’t anyone coming to help?
Why, why, why?
Another scream rattled out. I dropped to my knees and pounded my fists against the concrete floor.
I didn’t care if they came down. I wanted them to. I wanted to punch, kick, stab, and hurt them in every way. They needed to feel the pain I was in, the pain they inflicted on others.
Only there weren’t any footsteps… so when I heard a tapping sound, I stopped still, and through the tears, I looked up and over to the small rectangle window, the size of a book, above my bed.
There, on her knees, was Mrs Minna. The eighty-something next-door neighbour.
I shook my head. “No,” I whispered. If they saw her, they wouldn’t let her go. Snapping up to my feet, I rushed over to the window. Standing on the bed, I unlocked it and pushed it the few inches open it would allow. “Go. Please, go,” I begged. Fear clutched at my chest. If Gloria or Lenny heard, the risk of it was unthinkable. Harm would come to me, Mrs Minna, or Harriet. I couldn’t let any of it happen.
“I knew you didn’t run off. I’m going to call the police. Wait there—”
“Mrs Minna, please don’t, they’ll—no!” I screamed. Lenny came up behind Mrs Minna. His hands wrapped around her head, and he snapped it quickly to the side.
I saw the shock in her eyes before nothing.
Dead.
Blank. Like Donny’s had been.
Because of me.
“You fucking cunt,” I screeched. I tried to reach for Lenny through the window. Of course it was fucking useless. Just like I was.
My body rocked to the side from a force to my waist. Something cracked on the inside. I could feel it, hear it, all before I hit the ground hard. I rolled to the side, wincing, whimpering, and crying to see Gloria standing over me.
“You fucking bitch. We leave to get some shit and you’re calling out to the neighbour. Her death, like your friend’s, is on you.”
I sat up and cried out, grabbing my side just below my breast. Gloria snorted. “Probably cracked a rib or two. Your fucking fault. All of it. Damn, everything is your fault.”
Through a panting breath, I wheezed, “Y-you killed her. Police will know.”
Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. Kicking out at my foot, she told me, “Don’t be stupid. Lenny’s already taking her body to her house. I told him to snap her neck. Those stairs in her house aren’t good for an eighty-year-old. Really dangerous, actually. She’s likely to fall down them and break her neck…. Huh, guess it just happened.” She laughed.
Gloria was a lunatic. She wasn’t only crazy but vicious.
How did she become the way she was?
Dad had told me Mum’s parents had been nice people. The only option I could guess was drugs had screwed Gloria up.
But still, with not knowing how drugs worked, did they really cause a person to become a disgusting monster like Gloria?
“Why?”
“No one fucks with my life. Least of all Marilee’s little precious Emerson. You need to understand I don’t give a fuck you’re my sister’s daughter. I didn’t care about her. I don’t care about you. What I care about is Lenny, money, and making sure people do as I say. I get paid for what I do, but my boss even knows to do what I say. Especially when I bring money into the business game.” She smiled. “Thanks to you and your bank account.”
My chest clenched. “T-that’s my dad’s.”
That money was what I would have lived on until I turned twenty-five. It was his life insurance and his money from his account. It was meant to help me.
She’d stolen it.
Stolen another part of my dad.
She’d already taken his watch, something I accused her of, but she blamed me for misplacing it.
She may as well take me.
End me and my misery.
“Kill me,” I whispered.
Her head dropped back and she laughed up at the ceiling. Her arm wound around her waist as she kept laughing. Her humour waning, she shook her head and looked down at me with hostility. “Another thing you’ll learn. You die when I say.” She brought the bat up and swung it. I closed my eyes cringing, waiting. When nothing happened, I peeked out to see her smiling once more down at me. She scoffed. “Pathetic. She should have killed you in her womb.” She turned and walked away.
I didn’t move. Instead, I listened until I heard the basement door bang closed. I knew I wouldn’t be getting any food that night, and honestly, I didn’t think I could eat.
They killed again because of me.
Another life lost, and it was my fault.
When would this nightmare end?
If I had a knife, had something sharp, I would end it all myself.
Then again, I probably would be too weak to do it.
Maybe she was right. I was pathetic.
Slowly, I got to my knees as my anguished cries for Mrs Minna turned into pain stabbing through my side. I crawled to the bed and slid into it, breathing harshly.
Mrs Minna may have been eighty, nearing the end of her time on earth, but she didn’t deserve to have it end so quickly. She had children, grandkids. Ones she’d spoken of the first time I met her. She’d heard why I’d moved in with Gloria and had felt sorry for me. She even asked me in for a cup of tea and cookies. I didn’t accept, but I was grateful for the offer. Grateful she’d cared enough to ask. Gloria hadn’t cared when they’d brought me here. She never asked if I was okay, yet a stranger had. Mrs Minna was a good soul, and now she was lost to the world, to her family.
I should have gone in. I should have gotten to know her.
Now it was too late.
Because of me.
A cough jerked my body and I cried out, curling into myself, holding my side.
I wasn’t lying when I told her to kill me. I wished she would.
Then the pain would stop.
The hurt would end along with my life.
Maybe then I would see my dad, even my mum, again.
CHAPTER THREE
EMERSON
N oise woke me from my sleep. Blinking slowly, I rolled on the tiny bed, the one I’d slept on for the last couple of years, and peered out the small window to the real world. What the window showed was the neighbour’s house. What used to be Mrs Minna’s house before…. Hers was a little shorter in length than Gloria’s, so through the wired fence, I had a view of the back corner of the house, the deck, and some of the backyard.
Sleepiness evaporated when I saw people walking up and down the side of the house and in the backyard. I quickly ducked, my breath catching in my throat.
With shaky hands, I placed them on the windowsill and cautiously peeked out. Men
, women, and even children of all ages walked by, carrying things such as deck furniture, computers, TVs.
Someone was moving in.
No one had lived next door since Mrs Minna was murdered. Though, Gloria had been right; the authorities didn’t class it as murder. It had been an accident—an old lady falling down her stairs. Where Lenny had laid her body after he’d broken her neck.
Clenching my jaw, I shook the threatening dark thoughts away. Finally I had something to watch, to listen to. Their voices were a little muffled, until I slowly and carefully reached up and unlatched the window. I pushed it out as far as it went, which wasn’t far since it had been made to stay closed enough so nothing, nor no one, could get in or out.
Their voices cleared, especially when I stood on the camp bed and tilted my ear to the window.
When others went back out the front or through the back door, a man stood there with a woman and a teen boy. He said, “It’s a nice joint.”
“It’s a little big. Four bedrooms for one man,” the woman commented.
“Maybe he’s got a woman we don’t know about,” the teen boy added with a cheeky grin.
The first man snorted. “Good. Means he’ll stop checkin’ my woman out.”
“Declan.” She sighed. “Ryan and I are just friends. You know this already.”
“Ryan? Since fuckin’ when did you start callin’ him Ryan?” the man demanded. He sounded very angry; I wouldn’t want to cross him.
Only the woman didn’t seem fazed by his tone. She put her box down on the back deck and waved her hand around aimlessly. “Since after the trouble I had.”
“Mum,” the boy groaned. “You say ‘trouble’ like it was something small. You were poisoned and kidnapped.”
I sucked down a shocked breath. Poisoned and taken?
“It was nearly six months ago,” the woman pointed out. She made it sound as if it was years, not months.
The man dropped his box, glared at the woman, and stormed back around the front of the house. Out of my sight.
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it in front of Declan,” the woman suggested.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be blasé about it, Mum,” the boy snapped.
The woman stepped over to him, took the box out of his arms, and placed it down. She cupped his cheeks. My heart gave a lurch at her gentleness.
“I know. I’m sorry. Promise I won’t make light of it again.”
He nodded, she smiled, and then they hugged, but the teen pushed her away when more people came down the side.
Moving back, I leaned against the wall. My chest rose and fell rapidly.
I wanted that.
A family who cared.
But I no longer had anyone who would.
I understood why God wanted to take Dad away. He was wonderful, caring, and just an amazing person. God probably needed him for some saintly duty.
But it left me alone.
Alone to deal with Gloria and Lenny. Both of them didn’t have a caring, nice bone in their body.
Never would have I known just how things would change in my life after losing Dad.
I hadn’t known the hell I would be forced into.
Hadn’t realised people could be so cruel, disgusting, and sadistic.
But there were people like that.
And I was under the same roof with two of them.
They hated me. I had something over them, something that could destroy them like they deserved. I didn’t understand why they didn’t kill me already, until about six months ago when Lenny was being loud and talking shit on the phone.
“Yeah, brother, we still got her. You want a piece of her?” He paused. My throat closed over to keep the bile from rising. “Ha, you being funny. Nah, she’d be pure. You’d have to pay a mil’ or I might just have a go myself.” I clutched my stomach. “We’re keepin’ her until she gets her inheritance. We want the big, fat pile of money; then she’s dead. So you got some time to make up your mind. Six years.”
It was a few weeks after that call when I found out what Lenny meant by “having a go himself.” I’d been sitting on the bed in the dark, just glancing up at the sky, waiting for a falling star to wish upon. It sounded ridiculous, but my luck had ended the day Dad died, and I thought just once, some miracle could happen and I would awaken from this nightmare.
A few seconds after, I learned luck was a crock of shit.
I’d heard the front door burst open. I’d jolted and gripped my knees to my chest tighter. Closing my eyes, I’d prayed the staggering footsteps would continue to the bedrooms.
But they stopped.
Just outside the basement door.
The door banged open, and Lenny stumbled down the stairs. “’Dere she is,” he’d slurred.
My body chilled, noticing his hungry eyes running over me. My heart spiked.
I hated it.
He’d always creeped me out.
Slowly, I’d stood from the bed in preparation to bolt and stammered, “I-I’m going to sleep.”
What was worse, I knew my aunt hadn’t been home. From the silence of the house earlier, I’d thought it was one of those rare occasions she’d gone out with Lenny.
He’d smirked and stepped closer. “Sleep sounds good.”
I’d brought my hands up as he stepped towards me. “Lenny, don’t—” I’d screamed as he lurched forward, his hand gripping my long dark hair and pulling me towards him. His lips had landed on mine, hard. I’d pushed, hit, and tried to knee. For a drunk man, he’d still been able to fight off everything I did.
When he’d pushed me, I’d fallen back to the cot and gone to scramble off and run, but he was on me. I’d screamed in his face, and he’d laughed. I’d gotten an arm free and elbowed him in the jaw. Immediately, he’d grabbed it and forced it down, then rolled me. My knees hit the floor hard.
“Don’t! Please don’t do this,” I’d cried. Tears had streamed down my face.
Fear like I’d never felt twisted my insides.
“Shh.” He’d petted my hair with one hand while the other pushed down my shorts. “You want this.” He’d leaned over me. Bile choked me. His rancid breath had fanned my face with his next words. “You tell her, I’ll kill you.”
But I didn’t have to tell Gloria.
She’d come down the stairs, took it all in within seconds, and bounded over. She pulled Lenny back, slapped him so hard he fell back to his butt. He’d started pleading with her, telling her it was my fault, that I called him down and came on to him.
In my shock, I’d crawled away from them both yelling at each other. My ears ringing, my body shaking, I’d sobbed and curled into a corner.
It was stupid to think for a second that Gloria was my aunt, that she would take care of me, would kick him out.
My eyes had sprung wide as I’d felt a fist in my hair again. Gloria dragged me by my locks to the stairs and up them while I’d struggled with her hold. Her words that I caught through my cries hadn’t made sense. “This is your fault…. You shouldn’t have ruined my life…. You took his attention away from me.”
She’d opened the bathroom door, dragged me in. Even though I fought to break away by kicking, twisting, and punching, she’d been stronger.
With her hand in my hair, she’d shoved me to the side. Gloria then bent down. “Shut up,” she’d roared in my face.
My lips clamped tight. Still, I’d tried. “Gloria, w-what are you doing?” I’d sat on the floor, arms wrapped around my legs, shaking, breaking. She had the cupboard open, searching for something. I’d gone to put my arms down, try and move from the room as she’d mumbled to herself over and over. Only as soon as I’d moved, her glassy eyes shot down to me. Her pupils had been bigger than I’d ever seen them. Something had been wrong with her.
“Don’t move,” she’d snapped harshly.
“Glory, honey, what’re you doing?” Lenny had asked in the doorway.
She’d turned to him, took two steps his way, and slammed the door in his
face. Once she locked it, she’d faced me. My throat had thickened at what I saw in her hand. I’d moved back quickly, until I hit the wall.
“No, no, no,” I’d chanted as she came at me. “No!” I’d screamed when her blade sliced my arm.
“Keep fucking still or I’ll slice your throat,” she’d screeched.
Hard sobs jolted my body, but I’d kept my lips closed. I’d screwed my eyes shut and whimpered through her cutting my arms over and over.
“Once I’m through with you, he won’t look at you again. Thinks he likes your body. He won’t after this.” She’d laughed.
She didn’t stop at my arms.
My aunt carved at my chest, my legs, and stomach, then left me on the floor crying, bleeding, and dying on the inside once more.
The only grace of that night was when Gloria left the bathroom, stating for me to clean up my mess and get back down to the basement. If I didn’t, she was going to hunt down Harriet and kill her. From everything I’d seen and experienced, I knew her threats were true.
After I wrapped myself up as much as I could, I’d stumbled out of the room, down the dirty, messy hall where I’d spotted my old handbag on the floor. I couldn’t believe they stupidly just thrown it to the ground and it was still there after all of this time. My pulse had ticked over quickly. She must have dumped it there after she got my fingerprint to message Harriet and my bank card PIN number. Immediately I’d wondered if my phone and charger might still be in there.
Gloria had been in the living room yelling at Lenny. He had been screaming back just as much. Soon that meant they’d be screwing each other, so I’d had to be quick. Bending, my skin pulling, I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself crying out. I’d looked inside it and found my phone and charger. I left the bag where it had been in case she noticed it gone. It was doubtful though, considering the unkempt state the house was in.
I didn’t know what I was going to do with my phone. Calling for help had not been an option; I couldn’t risk Harriet’s life for mine. Gloria and Lenny had already used the threat of killing her and her family if anyone was to find out what they’d been up to or if a cop came to the door. Their people were only one text or phone call away, and they would get it done without ever being caught. So my charged phone sat hidden for the day I knew both of them would be out and I could think of a plan to save Harriet, her family, and myself.
