by Lila Rose
I knew it wasn’t a question, and yet I wanted to answer. “Yes. Every day.”
I didn’t know my mum, so I couldn’t say I missed her. But my dad I would always miss. Just like someone else I knew.
My eyes caught my arm. I only wore a tank top to bed—it was how I was most comfortable—so I could clearly see my defacements. My marks didn’t bother Julian and Mattie. I knew that because they encouraged me to wear tees on the hotter days and not the same hoodie I had when Julian stole it out of Ryan’s wardrobe.
It took me some time, but I eventually did. They didn’t see the scars; they saw me. At least that was what Julian had told me. He also mentioned that whoever I ended up with would see that as well.
It was hard to listen to because when I saw the disfigurements, all I saw was me being ugly, dirty, and weak.
“Did he say anything else?” I whispered into the room. I ran my thumb over the face of my phone as the lyrics sang out.
“They might have a lead on fuckface.”
I nodded. It was good to hear, but it would have been better coming from Ryan himself. Ha, like that’ll happen. A small dose of sadness rolled through me. I pushed it to the back of my mind and said, “I think I might get some more sleep.”
“Okay, my dove.” He kissed my temple and stood. “I better get some beauty sleep.” He winked and started for the door. He turned back at the threshold. “Night, honey.”
“Night, Julian.” I smiled.
I slid back down, put my phone next to me, and tucked my hands under my cheek. I was a little disappointed that Ryan hadn’t come here when he knew I would be awake. I was a little hurt he may have done it because he didn’t want to see me. Annoyed for him suggesting the music because it reminded me of him. Yet I was also happy because I knew it would help me sleep. Closing my eyes, the picture wasn’t far from my mind—Ryan on the deck singing the song to me. Only that time, I would be sitting on the porch with him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WARDEN
I was at the front door, about to leave, when a scream filled the house. I started forward, but Julian’s palm hit my chest.
“Don’t,” Julian warned, a tone I’d never heard from him.
Mattie stood behind him, arms crossed over his chest. “Julian, you go to her.”
With a final look at me, Julian turned and walked off. He headed for the hallway where I knew Emmie was waking from a nightmare.
I wanted to beat the shit out of myself.
I hated knowing she suffered every damn night because of those motherfuckers.
I hated knowing I couldn’t help.
Knowing I didn’t fight for her to stay at my place.
Knowing I was attracted to her.
Knowing I cared.
For a woman I didn’t really know.
How in the Christ did that happen? It was like she crawled under my skin and stayed there.
The scream had been cut off. I could hear Julian’s voice and her soft one replying.
“Warden,” Mattie called.
I stopped, hadn’t even realised I’d started for the hallway. Clenching my fists, I faced Mattie. “She okay?”
He smiled sadly. “She will be. I think what you suggested before, with the music, will help her get back to sleep quicker.”
I’d purposely called in late to see how things were going for Emmie, hoping she’d be in bed. I was a coward. A goddamn coward over a woman because she’d been through hell and I was attracted to her from one fucking glance. Not only that, but she was younger. Way too damn young.
That was why I had to steer clear.
She had her whole life ahead of her.
One where she’d come through from the shitstorm she’d been dealt and grow stronger. Into a beautiful woman. She’d marry, have kids, smile, love, and laugh. She deserved it all.
Yet hearing her scream, I found it bloody hard not to go in there and comfort her.
Fuck. I wanted to take Emmie into my arms and hold her.
This shit was messed up.
I had to keep myself busy, so I didn’t weaken and visit like I had again. I needed to stay the hell away, let her be. Thank fuck cases were coming in, and there was still the hunt for Phillip goddamn Burrows. Couldn’t believe he’d taken off. Disappeared without a trace.
I was determined to find the dickhead.
Determined to make sure Emmie could breathe without fear consuming her. They’d told me she hadn’t even been outside yet. Julian did all the shopping for her after she’d got her bank card back from the house, within her aunt’s purse. She’d freaked when the women had visited too. The only people she seemed to like and could be herself around were Julian, Mattie, and Killer. He was the last man I expected her to feel comfortable around, but she did. From what I heard, if he wasn’t patrolling, he visited Emmie a lot. They hardly talked, but they liked to watch some show together.
I hated it.
“Got to go,” I told Mattie, heading for the front door again.
“Why don’t you call in when she’s awake?”
I paused with my hand on the door handle. “It’s easier this way.”
“For her or you?”
I snorted. It was for me, but for her too.
“Warden,” Julian called.
I shifted to meet his gaze and also saw he had the door to the hallway closed. “Never have I seen her smile like that until I played her the music. She knows it came from your suggestion. She appreciates it.”
I nodded.
“She cares for you,” he added.
I shook my head and smirked. “She’s young, doesn’t know how to feel or act after goin’ through what she did.”
Julian glared. “She’s smart and so much older in her mind than you give her credit for.”
I narrowed my own eyes. “Why the fuck you sayin’ this shit for anyway?”
“Because I know you care for her.”
I laughed without a trace of humour. “We don’t know each other.”
“Then get to know one another. Stop running from her.”
“This is fuckin’ ridiculous,” I clipped. “I’m outta here.” Before he could say anything else, I turned back to the door and headed outside, closing the door behind me. What I wanted to do was slam the fucker. Knowing she’d be lying down listening to the music I suggested was the only thing that held me back.
Why in the hell did Julian tell me that? “She cares for you.”
She could. Maybe she did. But it wouldn’t be the right way. She could see me as… Christ, maybe her knight in shining armour. Someone who got her out of a hellhole into freedom.
I didn’t goddamn know.
“Warden.” I looked over my shoulder just as I reached my ute to see Mattie coming my way. “Emmie is—”
“Mattie, just don’t.”
“I have to.”
My phone rang. I held up a finger to Mattie and looked at the screen to see Talon’s number. “Gotta take this,” I told Mattie, who frowned. “Yeah?”
“Blue caught movement a block away, four guys dressed in black. They’re coming in fast. Get back inside.”
I ended the call, grabbed Mattie’s upper arm, and, on the walk to the house, I said, “Could be some threats coming in fast. Get in the house. Go to Emmie’s room with Julian and stay there until one of us comes to get you.”
I was surprised when I didn’t see Mattie pale in fear. His jaw clenched as he nodded and opened the door.
“Poppet?” Julian asked, standing from the couch.
“Emmie’s room, now,” Mattie said. “Grab the bat and my gun.”
I stepped in and shut the door, locking it. I pulled my gun free from its holster as I turned off the living room light and peeked out from behind the curtain. “Get the light in the kitchen, Mattie.”
He did and came back in when Julian reached the living room. Julian handed Mattie his gun. Something Talon would have gotten him because it didn’t look legal. Mattie took hold of Julian’s hand a
nd led him down the hall.
As I glanced out from behind the curtain again, I heard Emerson’s startled cry before one of them reassured her. Someone came up the front walk, a flash of light passing over a vest. Killer.
I unlocked and opened the door quickly.
“Get her in the living room. We’ll surround her. Burrows is with the group.”
“Fuck.” I advanced down the hall and opened the door to Emmie’s room. Music played softly as Julian sat on the bed with her while Mattie stood by the window, keeping an eye out.
“Everyone in the living room,” I said. I let my gaze drift back over Emmie. She looked pale, and her body trembled a little. She wore only a tank top, and when Julian flicked back the blanket, I caught pink panties. Damn. I quickly turned and went back down the hall.
It wasn’t the time for pink panties to be burned into my mind.
I also had to wipe away the image of the scars I saw. It wasn’t that they made her look bad. She never could. It was the thought of how she got them, what she went through, that had anger rising, along with the fury already burning over the fucker Burrows disturbing what could have been a peaceful rest for Emmie.
I stood by the hallway door. Julian came through first, then Emmie in—fuck me—my hoodie and track pants, followed by Mattie.
“On the couch,” Killer ordered from where he stood near the front door. “Blue’s at the back. Griz has Emmie’s bedroom window, Talon the other. We should be covered.”
“It’s going to be okay, dovey dove,” Julian told Emmie, pulling her down to the couch. I moved off to the kitchen and stood in there, looking out the back window into the dark night.
I glanced back to the living room to find Mattie standing over Julian and Emmie. Emmie had her feet up, her arms curled around them as Julian wrapped his arms around her. He whispered in her ear. She nodded. Then her eyes came to me.
I quickly turned back to the window and saw a shadow move across the way.
A shot was fired outside. I ran to the back door and pulled it open. As I stepped out, I heard Emmie’s cry of “Ryan.” I wanted to look at her, but I had to steel myself and have my head in the situation.
Blue had a guy on the grass who bled from the leg. A gun lay on the garden not far from where they were.
One guy. Three to go.
“Behind,” Blue called.
I spun, gun raised, then ducked when a guy fired. I heard glass splintering inside. Adrenaline rushed through me. I tackled the guy to the ground, hit him twice. The crunch of my fist slamming into his flesh sounded good, but I couldn’t take pleasure in it, not while Burrows was still at large and Emmie was at risk. There was also the fact that the motherfucker was knocked out cold. Back on my feet, I ran back inside. Killer towered over a guy passed out on the ground. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a flash in the hallway.
“Down,” I yelled. Julian covered Emmie’s body. Mattie dove over them. I fired as soon as I saw a hand come into view. The dickhead screamed. His weapon dropped. Immediately, I stalked over, kicking it away. Nabbing the piece of crap by the jacket, I pulled him into view. A light in the living room got switched on, and I threw Burrows to the ground, gun aimed down on him.
It couldn’t be this easy. He couldn’t be this stupid.
“Why now?” I asked. “Why the fuck come here now?”
“Gloria threatened if I didn’t kill the bitch, she’d tell the cops where she’d transferred the money we got from our operation.”
I shook my head. “Did you seriously think you had a chance at gettin’ her?”
“Yes. They promised me they were good at getting in and out.”
“The other guys? That’re all taken down?”
He ground his teeth. “Yes,” he hissed.
I heard the front door open. Lan stepped in. “See I’m late.”
“Two out the back,” I told him.
“Got it. Others should be here soon.” He glanced at Killer. “You and the brothers all covered with the right weapons?”
“Vi’s on her way with Butch. They should get here before your crew. She’ll have us covered and we’ll disappear.”
“Good.”
“What the fuck is this?” Burrows demanded. “You’re a cop. You can’t be working with them. I’ll tell. I’ll—”
Talon stepped up beside me. It was damn lucky I didn’t jump or I doubted I’d live it down with them. Talon crouched next to Burrows. “You might want to keep your mouth shut, Burrows. You know who we are?”
He glared up at Talon but said nothing. Talon shifted his foot over Burrows’s bleeding hand. He applied pressure, and Burrows yelled, “Stop, stop. Hawks Motorcycle Club.”
“You heard about us?” Talon removed his foot.
Burrows whimpered. “Yes,” he hissed.
“Then you know we’ve got people everywhere. If we hear you breathed a word to anyone, we’ll go after your mistress, your wife, your kids, and your money that you had hidden in an account overseas. Do you understand?”
He nodded.
“Want words, motherfucker.”
“Yes. I get it.”
“Good.” Talon stood. “Julian, Mattie, and Emmie, you’re all in the compound tonight. Pack a bag.”
I noticed then that they were already standing. Julian was in front of Emmie, and she had her head buried into his back, gripping his tee. Mattie stood behind her. When Julian shuffled forward, Emmie followed, and their line went straight for the hallway.
Just as they went by me, Emmie turned her head my way. Her gaze ran over me quickly. She caught my eyes, and I nodded. Her eyes welled, but she gave me a small, timid smile before disappearing down the hall.
My job was done.
She was free.
Burrows would go to jail, and Emmie could breathe easy.
I didn’t have to see her again.
Christ, that thought stabbed my chest.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
EMERSON
K iller was alone in the living room when we walked back out with our overnight bags. My shoulders slumped. I had hoped Ryan would still be there, but he’d done it again. Disappeared.
I couldn’t believe the night.
The fear I’d felt.
It wasn’t because Phillip Burrows had been there either. I knew the people around me had the matter at hand. I’d come to trust and realise they were true to their words. Instead, fear claimed me for the men involved. Especially when Ryan ran out the back door into the fray.
It was crazy as I knew he was competent in his job. I’d heard some stories from Julian and Mattie about the women with the Hawks men. A lot of the stories were mind-blowing and super scary. Some of what the women had been through was even worse than what I’d experienced. However, all of them had come out well in the end. And that was because of the Hawks men, as well as Ryan and his work colleagues.
Killer opened the front door and walked out first. Julian pushed me ahead so I could follow Killer. Then Julian was behind me with Mattie.
We crossed the road to the compound. The place was lit up. There were vehicles everywhere. When Killer opened the door, I didn’t want to step through. Tension shivered down my spine. How many people would be in there?
“You’re good here,” Killer said.
I nodded. “I know.” And I did, because the men in the club were amazing. I knew it from experience and how Julian gloated about them.
We went through the door, down a hallway, and then into a large open space where there were couches, seats, a pool table, some arcade games, and a bar. There were also a few men and women around. Two women, in fact, and when they saw us, they approached slowly. I shifted behind Killer. Julian and Mattie came to my side, but it was Julian who put his arm around my waist.
“Hey, honey,” one of the women said.
“Cupcake.” Wait, what? Cupcake? Had that really come out of Killer’s mouth? I knew he had an “old lady”—not that I really understood what that was—but I’d never seen her before.
Or his reaction to her. Killer’s voice was in a tone I hadn’t heard. Sweet, soft, and loving. He leaned forward, cupping the woman’s jaw, and kissed her as if no one was around to see it. I witnessed her melt into him, her arms sliding around his waist. At the end of the kiss, he curled his arm around her shoulders and turned to face me. It was then that the other woman stepped up to Mattie and hugged his waist, which he replicated.
“Em, this is my old lady, Ivy. Ivy, meet Emmie.”
“Hi, Emmie. I’ve heard so much about you. All good, I promise. I’m sorry for what you went through. It’s disgusting what some people do. Family can totally suck sometimes. But it’s good that you’re healing. Julian and Mattie are the perfect people to be around when that happens because they’re kind, funny, and sweet. I just bet—”
“Babe,” Killer said.
Ivy blushed. “Sorry. My mouth gets the better of me sometimes.”
My lips twitched. She was… adorable. The tightness in my chest eased.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ivy.”
Her smile was bright. “You too.”
“Emmie,” Mattie called. I looked to him and the woman at his side; they looked similar. “This is my sister, Zara. Zara, Emmie.”
“Hey, it’s great to see you, Emmie. I’m sorry about what just happened. Though I’m sure the guys had it all in hand.”
I nodded. “They did.” If I remembered correctly, Zara was married to Talon, and they had four children together.
“We’ve set up a room for you. A lot of the brothers sleep elsewhere, so it was easy to get two rooms close together.”
Two rooms?
Wait, I’d be staying on my own?
At a compound full of bikers?
Yes, I trusted them; they’d proven I could, but it was still daunting after what just happened. People broke into Julian and Mattie’s place to kill me. Because my aunt wanted me dead.
Could there be more people after me?
Would she send more?
Was I actually free?
I glanced at Killer. “Will she send more?”
I didn’t need to elaborate. He understood because he replied with “No. We’ve kept an eye on her. Burrows was the only one she communicated with besides her lawyer. He’s one of ours, even though he’s supposed to work for her. She won’t get out and she won’t contact anyone we don’t know about. We’ve got people on the inside to make sure we can watch her there as well.”
