by Lila Rose
Shit, I was getting sick of myself saying it.
When I’d heard Ivy talking to Mally at the compound one night about how proud she was of Emmie going on her first date, I’d nearly crushed the beer bottle in my hand. Instead of listening to more, I got up and left.
It’d put a foul taste in my mouth. Thinking of Emmie out on a date with some young dickhead. Fuck, just thinking of her on a date with anyone cut at my gut.
Christ, I wanted her.
I goddamn did.
There, I admitted it to myself.
I wanted Emerson Spence for myself. So much so that I hadn’t even looked at a woman since the day she’d walked out from the basement.
Did I man the fuck up and go over there, talk to her, get to know her, or keep hiding in my corner and watching her like the fucking freak I was as she chewed on a pencil while typing something on her laptop?
She hadn’t noticed me when she walked in, which I was grateful for. But if Ivy got back from wherever she was, she’d see me, call me out, and then Emmie would know I was there. Stalking her.
Fuck me. I was a sorry son-of-a-bitch.
She looked good. In fact, since I hadn’t seen her in so long, I almost didn’t recognise her when she came in. Her hair was longer, styled just nice. Her body had filled out in all the right ways, and she radiated happiness.
Was she still having nightmares?
Did she still wake from them and then listen to the music I suggested?
Was she scared in the house on her own?
When Talon told me he was selling his house next to Zara’s old one, the one where Julian and Mattie lived, I was surprised. He only owned it because he didn’t want a stranger to buy it across the road from the compound. Of course, I asked who he’d sold it to, and when he said it was Emmie, I didn’t like it.
Not that she couldn’t have her own place. Hell, I was happy she wanted her independence.
I didn’t like the thought of her being alone at night as that was when her nightmares plagued her.
At least when she was with Julian and Mattie, they could go to her if they heard her.
Now she was all alone.
What was it about Emerson Spence that brought out my instinct to want to protect her more than anyone else? To want her more than any other woman?
She’d made a rare connection within me and it wouldn’t be removed.
Couldn’t.
I thought it’d end when the case did.
It hadn’t.
She was still on my mind.
And from her texts to me, I was on hers too. I just didn’t know if it was in more than a friendship way. Yeah, Julian had said she cared, but in what way?
Christ, was I just an old man pining over a younger woman when all she wanted was a friend in me?
Could I give that to her when I wanted more?
Fucked if I knew.
My head was a goddamn mess when it came to her.
Maybe if I got to know her more, I’d figure out she wasn’t for me after all. Nodding to myself, I got up, went to the counter, paid my bill, and walked out.
It was time to figure out how I really felt about Emmie.
Time to get to know her… only it wouldn’t be in person. It’d have to be over the phone, because I was sure as fuck physically attracted to her. But would her personality work for me as well?
EMERSON
I sat on the couch watching Lucifer on Netflix and eating cheese and bacon balls when my phone vibrated. I was expecting Julian and Mattie over shortly, since Julian offered to make some pasta dish for dinner later, so I thought it would be either one of them.
It wasn’t.
My breath shot out in a whoosh as my eyes widened. Slowly, in case it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I picked up my phone from the couch beside me and looked closely.
It still read the same.
I had stored his number a long time ago, so to see his name on my screen for the first time in so long was a complete shock. One that had my body in a tizzy.
If I opened it, would I like what I saw? If he was brushing me off, at least I knew where we stood, and I’d deal with it over a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Maybe it would be more than one.
Though, waiting wasn’t doing my heart any good.
I pressed in the code to unlock my phone, and then I went right into messages. I needed to get it out of the way as soon as possible. If it was bad, and Julian and Mattie arrived to see me crying, I wasn’t sure they wouldn’t pay Ryan a visit.
Ryan: Meatlovers is good, but I prefer barbeque chicken, Emmie. He was answering my texts from a couple of nights ago. He was acting normal. Like we’d been texting each other all the time. Then again, I had done the same, but I was reaching out to him to see if he wanted to engage back.
He had.
He messaged me back.
He wanted to talk.
To get to know one another.
But I couldn’t jump to conclusions yet. I’d wait and see where this went… but I was darn excited to be in contact with him. So excited that I let out a little squeal and kicked my feet up and down. Cheese and bacon balls went flying, but I didn’t care. Instead, I read on.
If you haven’t tried it, you should. I won’t hate on you for reading. A lot of the women I know do it. Football is life. You should see if you like it. Butch is still being a dick. He’s taken a couple more meals from me. But I did it back to him today and the douche didn’t like it at all. Maybe he’ll stop now. Glad to hear you’re doing well, darlin’. Now everything’s over, even the court case and all, I hope you’re breathing easy. Was surprised you haven’t seen Disney movies. Even more surprised to learn you worked on a farm. Your dad sounds like a good guy. Glad you had him in your life. Sucks it ended so early for you. The cases I have right now are doing my head in. But nothing too bad, which is good.
Heard you’ve got your own place and set up your own business. That’s bloody great, Emmie. What else have you been up to?
He’d heard things about me. From who? Had he asked or just been told?
At least he was asking about me now. That meant something, right?
If I texted back right away, did it show I was too eager? Desperate for his attention?
Screw it all. I wasn’t one to play mind games. He could take me replying straight away any way he wanted to.
Emmie: I’ll be sure to give that pizza a try, maybe one time when I’m also figuring out football. I hope Butch doesn’t try again. Then again if he does, you should set him up and have something hidden in your lunch that will make him never steal your food again.
I’ll never say I won’t try Disney movies…. I heard Julian talk about them the other day, and I have a feeling if he found out I’ve never seen one, it would change, and quickly. I loved working on the farm. I miss it a lot. And yes, you’re right, Dad was an amazing man.
Sorry to hear your cases are playing on your mind, but at least, like you’ve said, it’s not too bad.
I do have my own place and business. I live right next door to Julian and Mattie. It’s small, but perfect for just me. I took a couple of online courses to develop my graphic design skills and get into branding, things like designing logos. As it happens, I have a natural talent for it, so I’ve been told. The clients I have were willing to hire me even though I hadn’t finished the courses. From them being happy with my work, they’ve spread the word, and I’ve managed to gain a couple more clients. It’s small right now, which suits me just fine, but I am hoping to grow it eventually. Say in a few years.
Honestly, my days have been filled with work, courses, and taking back my life. Making my days how I want them. You might know already, but there was enough money in Dad’s accounts for me to live comfortable until my inheritance comes in. I could sit around and do nothing if I really wanted to, but for me, that’s not life.
Life is about making your own mark. My dad had his with his businesses and the farm. I want to make my own. I’m not even sure why I’m
telling you that.
Anyway. I have some questions for you.
Do you eat chocolate? My favourite is Nestle Smarties. But in the block size.
What do you do in your time off?
How do you like your steak cooked? I’m a medium-well to well-done kind of lady.
Do you watch TV? Julian and Mattie have me hooked on a few shows on Netflix. So much so I had to make sure I had Netflix at my own house.
I quickly hit Send before I chickened out, then put the phone back on the couch. It didn’t stop me from staring at it, but at least I wasn’t holding it.
I heard footsteps on the front porch, and when a key was inserted in the lock, I didn’t bother getting up to check who it was. Only two people had keys to my place, so I knew it was either one of them or both Julian and Mattie.
The door swung open. I peeled my eyes from my phone and rubbed at my chest while I looked up at Julian and Mattie in the doorway.
“What happened?” Mattie asked.
I glanced around me, completely forgetting about the cheese and bacon balls everywhere.
“I got a text.”
“And that caused you to throw chips about?” Julian asked with an open-mouthed smile. Mattie moved off into the kitchen with the bags he carried. I heard him dump them on the counter and then come back into the room.
He leaned over the back of the couch. “Hey, honey,” he said before kissing my temple.
“Hey, honey, back.”
“No, seriously, before you get some lovin’ off me, who texted?” Julian asked. His hands went to his hips.
“Ryan,” I told them.
Julian’s eyes widened comically. His hands slid up to cover his mouth. He spread his fingers and whispered, “Warden?”
I nodded. “Ryan Warden.”
“What did he want?” Mattie asked, the steady, calm one in our group.
I picked up my phone and waved it about. “Just random things really. He got back to texts I responded to a couple of days ago, and then he just asked about the house and work.”
“He texted,” Julian cried.
My smile was jaw aching. “He did.”
“Did you reply?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“Nothing yet, but that was just before you guys walked through the door.” Then my phone vibrated.
“OMG!” Julian screamed. He came at me, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me up to stand. “Go, bedroom. See what he says, answer him, and then tell us if we need to reschedule due to your texting date.”
“Julian,” Mattie warned.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I promise I won’t get ahead of all this. I won’t turn my feelings into more just because he’s finally talking and paying attention to me. So far it seems like a friendship, and I’m good with that.”
I was, and I would be… I was pretty sure.
As I walked from the bedroom after reading Ryan’s replies and then answering his new questions, I stood in the doorway of the kitchen when my phone vibrated again. I glanced down. It was Ryan, again.
“Is that him, after you’ve just replied?” Julian asked.
“Yes.” I nodded and bit my bottom lip so I didn’t beam my smile at them.
“We’ve made a quick grilled chicken and salad for you. But we’ll catch up soon for dinner. For now, you enjoy your night texting Warden.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“Dove, if that was the man who’d been on my mind for over half a year, then I would want time alone to bask in the new friendship. Though, I think—”
“Julian,” Mattie clipped.
Julian’s lips snapped together. He glared over at his man, then sighed. “Sorry, I won’t say what I think because I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. But let me tell you, if that man’s just messing with you, I’m going to sneak into his room, cut off—”
“Julian,” Mattie bit out.
Julian sighed. “All I was going to say was that I would crush him.” Julian stepped up to me with Mattie at his back. “You take care, my dovey dove, but enjoy chatting with Warden.”
“You can stay—”
His fingers pressed down on my lips. “Hush now. I’ll want to know everything tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I mumbled around his fingers.
Julian kissed my cheek and walked by, while Mattie stepped up. His smile wasn’t fully there. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Don’t worry about this. I promise I’ll be guarded.”
“I care. I can’t stop it now.”
“I know, and I’m so glad I have you and Julian in my life.”
“Take care,” he whispered against my temple.
“I will.”
As soon as they left, I sat at the counter with my dinner in front of me, texting back and forth with Ryan. It was strange since it had been so long, and I wondered why the change in him, but it was also exciting. I hadn’t felt giddy like that since the night he sang that song for me.
I would never admit to Mattie that I was worried myself how all this would turn out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WARDEN
Walking into the compound common room, I found the place busy with brothers and some of their women. I went straight to the bar, hoping a drink would get my mind off texting Emmie. We’d been going back and forth for nearly a month, and doing so made it more dangerous because I was growing to care for the woman even more. With each conversation I had, I learned more and more. What I found out, I liked.
She was smart, funny, sweet, teasing, and just damn charming in all aspects. She knew what she wanted, and after being dealt shit, she still strived for it because she wanted to make her own way in the world.
Not many could do that after what she’d been through. It just proved how bloody strong she was.
Hell, she was right across the road. I could go over there and see her. Like she’d asked me to on a couple of occasions, like that night, but I’d said I couldn’t. That I was busy. The real reason was that I knew my resolve would crash and burn. I’d confess I had feelings for her, and I couldn’t do that to her. She deserved someone her own age.
She did.
Even though I’d probably kill the guy if he tried to take her out.
Blue stood behind the bar. He saw me approach and grabbed out a beer, holding it up to me. I nodded, and as soon as I got close, I took it, taking a big gulp.
“Rough night?” Blue asked.
“Somethin’ like that.” I sat on a stool next to Stoke.
He glanced at me after finishing a conversation with Killer and gave me a chin lift. “How’s things, Warden?”
“Could be better,” I replied. “What’s been happenin’ around here?” Please tell me anything to keep my mind busy.
“Same old. Which is good.”
Yeah, it was good for them, having nothing crazy happening, but I could really do with a distraction. Even work had slowed. The only case I was on at the moment was that of a cheating wife.
“Ryan!” was cried. Next, someone crashed into my back and arms circled my neck. “Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. It’s good to see you,” Mally muttered into my shoulder.
“Jesus,” Stoke mumbled. “Woman, get your toasted arse here.”
Chuckling, I patted Mally’s arm. She let go enough to come to my side. I slid an arm around her waist. “How you doin’, darlin’?”
Her smile nearly took over her whole face. “Great. Amazing. I’m so in love with that man right there.” She pointed to Stoke. He tried to look annoyed, probably over her being at my side, but he was failing. His lips twitched.
“That’s good to know.”
She nodded. “It is. He’s the bestest of the best.”
“You don’t say.”
“I do,” she exclaimed and shook me a little with her arm around my shoulders. Damn, she was a cute drunk. At least I knew she’d be getting home safe. Her man would make sure of it, and it seemed he was nursing some juice drink.
&nb
sp; Out the corner of my eye, I caught someone entering the common room. My body locked when I noticed it was Emmie. She nodded and smiled shyly at some of the brothers, then headed over to the couch area. That was when I saw Mattie sitting there talking with Talon.
Mattie looked up at her with a grin. Talon said something, which she replied to. Mattie stood and stopped next to her.
“Ryan,” Mally whined, both her arms wrapped around me again. She hugged me close. “My man won’t dance with me. You will, right? Please, Ryan. Please.”
“Love, I think it’s time we head out,” Stoke said.
I happened to glance back over at Emmie, hoping Stoke could get control of his woman clinging to me. Her eyes were already on mine, but I didn’t like what I saw in them. I watched her look to Mally, her lips thin and her eyes closed, before she nodded to herself. Mattie saw where she’d been looking.
She said something and started for the door. Mattie called after her.
Fuck. Did she think I was there with another woman?
Standing, I gently forced Mally into Stoke’s arms and started for the door.
EMERSON
“Emmie, wait. Emmie,” Mattie called, and I quickly walked back across the road to his and Julian’s place. Julian had sent me over to tell Mattie he was about to miss out on the popcorn and movie. Even though I’d been a bundle of nerves walking in there, I did it. Because I’d gotten to know a lot of them in the previous months. They were all nice men.
When I made it to Mattie, who was speaking with Talon at the couches, Talon asked me how I was doing on the new design for the garage logo. Just after I mentioned it was going well, I heard loud girly laughter and then the woman calling Ryan’s name.
I snapped my gaze over to see a woman draped all over Ryan, begging him for a dance.
Ryan was there.
At the compound.
And yet he’d said he’d been too busy to see me. I was getting sick of texting back and forth and wanted to talk with him in person. He wouldn’t even answer his phone if I called, made up some bullshit. Just like he had for missing movie night at Julian’s house.
