by Guerin Zand
“I’m looking forward to that as well, ‘little’ Timmy. I did mention my daughter was going to be there as well, didn’t I?” Tim didn’t respond. I think I had him thinking it might not be so bad.
“You leave my son alone, Guerin. You try and pull any of your shit and I’ll separate your man parts from the rest of you. I’ll hang them over the bar, next to your 45 for everyone to enjoy.”
“Oh, Katie.” I waggled my eyebrows in her general direction. “What would Roger think of you playing around with my man parts?”
“I’m not joking, Guerin.”
“Neither am I, Katie. Your little boy wonder is going to be on the crew of the Vengeance. I’m taking Steve and Jackie as well.”
The staff came by with the main course. Everyone was served something different. Maria had tailored the menu for the individual guests. A good-looking ribeye steak was placed in front of me along with a loaded baked potato.
“This looks almost real.”
“It is, Dad. It’s real Kobe steak, from Japan.”
“You went all the way to Japan, just for me?”
“No. We have a lot of humans on the ship now. If you bothered to drop in a little more often you might have noticed. The twins have a steady supply of Earth food stores delivered here, and they’ve even hired chefs from Earth.”
“Really? How many humans are on this ship?”
“A little over 1500.”
“WHAT?”
“Like I said, you would have known this if you bothered to check in.”
I took a bite of my steak. It was really good. “So, why are there so many humans on the ship now? I thought official first contact was still not going to happen until after we get the FTL ship operational.”
“A lot of them are teams that Roger is training for that day, and then there is a lot of support staff like the chefs. The twins have opened up a McDonalds, and White Castle, along with a pizza joint, and a few new bars. We have engineers and scientists being trained under Diane’s supervision as well. A lot has happened since you left, Dad.”
“Don’t try and change the subject, Guerin. We’re not letting you take our son with you.”
“Yes, you are, Katie. I’ll explain why when I brief you all on the mission and my amazingly brilliant plan. Until then, relax, unbunch your panties, and try to enjoy the dinner. I promise not to disappoint.”
“Anyone else you plan on taking with you, Guerin?”
“You, Julie.”
“Really? Do I get to sleep in the Captain’s bed?”
“Only if the Captain gets that desperate!”
“I’m also going to need a few more ships. I plan on including Sammy, and the Minnow, and I’ll need Bart and his shuttle. You really need to come up with a good name for your shuttle Bart. Calling it ‘Bart’s shuttle’ just doesn’t work for me.”
“I’ll try to work on that, Guerin.” Bart smiled.
“And we’ll need Cindy, and her shuttle and crew, to support Roger and Katie back in the core.”
“Do I get to come up with a name for my shuttle too?”
“Yes, Cindy. You can pick a name for your shuttle too. Just make it simple.”
“You’re not going to share your plan with us, Guerin?” Julie was itching for a good fight.
“No, I like to surprise you, Julie. It’s more satisfying that way.”
I finished my steak and I had my favorite chocolate soufflé for dessert. I spent a little time talking privately with Cindy. I reassured her that she was also included in my plan and that I would fill her in later. I also apologized for being such a cad the other day. I told her I had requested she be seated next to me as my way of saying I’m sorry. I’m not sure she was buying it.
Finally, it was time for drinks. Normally I would be looking forward to this part of dinner, but it had been my experience in the past that this was when I became the target. This night was no different. Cindy decided that she should start this off.
“So, Bart, Guerin was telling me his version of the story from his little visit to Erandi. It seems there is quite a bit of difference between what he says happened and what you and Gladys told us.”
“Really?” Bart acted surprised. Gladys just grinned.
“Well, I haven’t heard Bart’s version. Mind sharing that with me, old friend?”
“I just told everyone how you came to visit, and as usual, you hit on the first available female you came across.” Bart simply shrugged.
“I didn’t hit on her. I said hello. I was just being nice.”
“So you didn’t take her up to your room, Dad?”
“They made me!”
Everyone broke out in laughter.
“I don’t see what everybody finds so funny. Technically speaking, I was raped!”
The laughter became uncontrollable. I pouted and sat there listening to all the jabs as this raucous continued for about fifteen minutes.
Milly started to get her laughter under control, sort of. “Seriously, Guerin?” She broke out in laughter before she could even finish what she was saying. “Raped? I’m sure we’d all love to hear about that.”
“What would you call it if a man beat the shit out of you, and when he was done, he said take me to your room? I mean, I said no. That’s when three hulking Erandisi men, the size of Bart if not bigger, started towards me, and I don’t think they were planning on buying me drinks. I was getting ready to have my ass kicked when Gladys intervened. Gladys told me I could either take that woman to bed or those three men, who happened to be related to the psycho bitch who had just got done wiping the floor with my ass, would finish what she had started. Gladys also added some comment on how in that case, Erandi might be the last planet I ever visited.”
“So, under the threat of grave physical injury you relented, took that woman up to your room, and had sex with her? That’s your story, Guerin?”
“Yes, it is, Julie, and Bart and Gladys know it’s true.”
The room broke out in laughter again. I slammed down my drink and looked over at Bart and Gladys. They had these not so innocent looks on their faces. Acting like this was all a big surprise to them.
“And I’d bet my man parts that Bart and Gladys set the whole thing up for their own amusement!”
“Guerin, you can’t seriously believe we would do that, do you?” Gladys’ look said it all.
“You’re shittin’ me, right? I don’t think there’s one person at this table who wouldn’t do that to me.” I looked over to Maria, who was laughing just as hard as anybody, and I gave her a dirty look. “I can’t be the only one here who remembers some of the other shit stunts you aliens have pulled on me in the past.”
“So, were you raped often in your pirate adventures? I thought the pirates were supposed to be the ones who did the raping. What happened?”
“Very funny, Nancy. First, I was not in character on Erandi. I was there as myself, Guerin Zand, a Bree diplomat if the title of emissary is still valid. This is how a Collective world treats an emissary on a first contact mission? I thought I would be safe there. And don’t act so innocent, Nancy. It was partly your fault.”
“How’s that?”
“She was one of your gamers who purposely sought me out to score a few credits in your stupid game.”
“Oh, she got more than a few credits for that score, Guerin.”
It was hard to get a word in with all the laughter.
“See!”
“Still just as paranoid as ever, Guerin.”
“That’s right, Stella. It doesn’t mean I’m wrong and you know it. I seem to remember a little stunt you once pulled on me.”
“Oh, Guerin, that was so long ago.”
“Whatever, Stella. I’m just shocked by how you supposedly enlightened beings can sit here and humiliate a victim of sexual assault.”
“I just have one question for you, Guerin. Do you actually believe your own bullshit?”
“Of course I do, Julie. If I don’t, who else will?”<
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After they were done with me, we all retired out to the living room for drinks. I spent the rest of the night bouncing around the guests and catching up. It was a fun night, but I always had an uneasy feeling when I was on this ship. Yea, yea, I know. I’m paranoid.
Chapter 6
Another One of Julie’s Lectures
After all the guests had left for the evening, I grabbed a drink and headed back to my suite. In the master suite there was a nice sitting area, with a couple of comfortable IKEA recliners and a small table. There was a beautiful view there looking out over the city. I liked to just sit there and stare out when I couldn’t sleep. I have to admit, that even after all these years, the view of the nebula in the night sky was beautiful. As we all know by now, whenever I start to feel good, something is bound to pop up and ruin that feeling.
“Mind if I join you, Guerin?”
“Julie.” I shook my head and motioned her to have a seat next to me.
“Is the universe’s favorite space stud all alone tonight? Have the woman of the universe finally wised up?”
“Oh very funny, Julie. I guess it’s your lucky night.”
“Oh boy! I can hardly contain myself.” Her sick little laugh was beyond unbearable.
“Is there a reason for you being here, Julie? I mean, other than just for the pure joy of annoying me and ruining my good mood?”
“I thought we could have a little talk. I’m worried about you.”
“Oh please.”
“You don’t seem to be the same old Guerin we’ve grown to know and love. Somethings bothering you.”
I ignored the entire first part of what she said. I knew she was just trying to get a rise out of me.
“Are you serious? What’s bothering me? Like right now, or five minutes ago, maybe last week, or just this morning?”
“Do you have to be such a smartass all of the time? Perhaps, if you’d try and have a serious conversation with me, it might do some good.”
“I’m sorry. How’s that?”
I think she just ignored that little remark. “I talked with Maria and...”
“She shouldn’t have talked to you. I asked her to keep that private. You want to know what bothers me? Maybe the fact that I can’t even trust my own daughter anymore.”
That wasn’t entirely true, I guess. See, Maria had always been a tattletale when it came to me. When she was a little girl she loved to tell her mother about something I did and see me getting yelled at. Her mother didn’t want me taking her out on the motorcycle when she was little. Maria would beg me to take her riding and promise, and swear on her life, she wouldn’t tell. So, of course, I would give in and take her for a ride. As soon as we’d get home, she’d run and tell her mother. This happened over and over, and for some reason, every time I’d trust her, and every time she’d rat me out. I guess some things never change.
“Don’t blame her, Guerin. She’s worried you’ve maybe lost yourself. Your paranoia level is beyond normal, even for you. Do you really think you’re every action is being manipulated?”
“You tell me, Julie. I mean how would I know? Your programming just seems to be controlling me so completely now that I don’t know the difference anymore.”
“My dear child.” There it was. That fucking condescending tone of hers. She just really couldn’t help herself. It was second nature. “No one has programmed you.”
“Then tell me why I do things I know I don’t want to do. There was no reason for me to come back. Roger and the team could have handled this situation. Still, here I am, and I’m going to do something I’d rather not. Do you think I want to be your little soldier?”
“You came back because a friend, Cindy, asked you to. You’re taking charge of this current situation to protect your friends. You think we chose you because you were the perfect man. What a joke. Your obnoxious, annoying, arrogant, irritating, disrespectful, more than a bit of an asshole, rude...”
“Is this going to take much longer? If so, I need a refill.”
“Did I say annoying?”
“Yea, you covered that.”
“Ok. Well, I could go on ad nauseam, but I think you get the picture. You’re far from perfect Guerin, but you are a good man. That’s what we wanted. You don’t recognize yourself because you have never been pushed before. Let’s face it. The Guerin Zand we found on Earth was a total slacker. You didn’t care about much more than getting through the day without having to exert yourself.”
“So you actually did come here to be a condescending bitch and annoy me?”
“What is it with you, Guerin? Why can’t we work together without all this animosity? What is it you call me, your evil nemesis?”
“Well, that’s actually one of the nicer things I’ve called you. There’s also, that arrogant bitch, that condescending cunt, the devil’s slut, the...”
“Very funny. You seem to think that all the evils in this universe are my fault. That I planned it all out.”
“And you seem to think that it’s my job to fix everything you’ve fucked up in this universe.”
“Ok. I can live with your attitude towards me, Guerin, but do you need to treat Milly so badly?”
“How am I treating Milly badly? I’m staying away from her. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Your little dumb act does not suit you, Guerin. You know very well how Milly feels about you, but you go out of your way to ignore and avoid her. You couldn’t even find time to spend with her alone this evening. Is that how you treat someone you supposedly love?”
“Haven’t you done enough, Julie. It was you that forced us apart. You wouldn’t even allow her to contact me. Don’t tell me that wasn’t one of your little schemes to get me to move on. And I don’t mean move on from Milly. No, you wanted me to find someone like Anna. You knew how that would end, and that I would abandon my boring little human existence because of it. Just part of your training program, right?”
“You’re saying I planned all of it, including Anna’s death, just to teach you a lesson?”
“Maybe you didn’t plan it, Julie, but you knew how it would all play out. Don’t tell me that with all of your simulations and scenarios that you fed to Deep Thought you didn’t know how it would turn out for me. Anna would have never left Earth and joined me out here. Sure, you didn’t plan her death, but you knew it would happen and I would be left alone. Maybe you like fucking around with me, but was that fair to Anna?”
“What is wrong with you? Why do you insist on blaming yourself, and me, for ruining Anna’s life? I’ve spent enough time with your daughter to know that you were the best thing that ever happened to Anna. You two were madly in love with each other. You raised a beautiful daughter, and the two of you couldn’t have been happier. But of all the memories you have, all you can remember is her death?”
“I do remember the good memories, Julie. It’s just her death is the one memory that really stands out. Am I supposed to ignore that memory?”
“No, but you need to put it in perspective. You made Anna happy. You didn’t kill her.”
“So what am I supposed to do, Julie. Just ignore it all and run back to Milly and live happily ever after? You know that if we were to get back together we’d just end up hurting each other again. I do love Milly. I just think it’s best for her if I just stay out of her life.”
“You’re just being selfish, Guerin. You’re afraid of getting hurt again, not of hurting Milly. If you didn’t want to hurt Milly, you wouldn’t be treating her this way.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me about being selfish. You have no idea how badly I was hurt when Milly left me. I kept my promise to her though, and I still am. I moved on, and all that happened was I got hurt again, even worse. So don’t tell me how selfish I am.”
Julie didn’t respond. Perhaps I might have actually gotten through to her, but I doubted it.
“So, is that what you wanted to talk to me about, Milly?”
“I swear, Guerin, I don’t
know why I bother. I think you just enjoy being miserable to spite me.”
“Well, spiting you helps fill my free time. For all of your supposed intelligence, Julie, I would think figuring out a stupid monkey like me wouldn’t be so hard. You were so worried about Heesa’s influence that you didn’t realize how much more dangerous I was becoming. You know, when I was planning to kill Heesa, I thought how that might affect me. I assumed it would in some way. I had never killed anyone before, and I never wanted to.”
“And it didn’t affect you?”
“No. I didn’t do it for revenge, at least not entirely. I did it to show them that we weren’t going to tolerate their interference. That we knew it was them, and that we could and would respond. Katie was the only one I told about my plan. She was furious when we didn’t retaliate against the Chinese. I convinced her it was a waste of time to bother with the middlemen. It gave me a way to justify not taking revenge against the people on Earth who were responsible for Anna and Tim’s death.”
“Are you trying to justify killing Heesa?”
“I’m trying to explain to you why I’ve stayed away for so long.”
“When I confronted Heesa he was in the middle of torturing a couple of his female slaves. I was so disgusted, and angry, I mean, I was enraged at what I saw. I killed him without saying a word, and there was no feeling behind it. It was just my rage taking control. As Bart probably told you, I rescued the two young ladies. Before I left the shuttle, the two slave girls offered to show their appreciation. Do you know what I saw?”
“No.”
“The reason they made the offer was not because they wanted to thank this good man for rescuing them. They made the offer because they were just as scared of me as they were of Heesa. Since then, I’ve seen that same fear in almost all of the slaves we liberated. The people out there are just as worried about me as the Trogan emperor. You see Julie, killing Heesa didn’t change me, it changed how people see me.”
“I’m not sure what your point is, Guerin.”
“I’m not surprised. Since you talked to Maria, she must have told you about the child slaves we rescued.”
