by Guerin Zand
“Of course I do, Kelly. I figure I’ll go down to Taes and ask them nicely to leave.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, the Collective thinks I’m a little too violent sometimes. If I’m nice about it, then they’ll have less to complain about.”
I turned off the display and walked over to the bar and poured myself a whiskey. Everyone else, well except for my daughter Maria, followed my lead.
“And when that doesn’t work, Dad? I mean, if they don’t just kill you on the spot. What’s your plan?”
“Well, getting killed isn’t in any of my plans, so you don’t have to worry about that. If they don’t agree to leave when I ask nicely, then I’ll ask again. I just won’t ask so nicely the second time.”
We spent the next couple of days traveling into the Taes system and then finally entered orbit around the planet. We left the star drive engaged to cloak the ship, hopefully even from the Collective’s prying eyes. We would only disengage the drive when we needed to use a transit portal. While in orbit, Senri performed a scan for any satellites that the Bayru or Maricindi might have above the planet. There were a few satellites they were using for surveillance and communications. I had Senri send those used for surveillance straight into the system’s star. We left the communication satellites in orbit, so they would still be able to communicate with their homeworlds. Hopefully, they’d notice they’d lost their eyes on the planet and it would rattle them both a bit.
We waited a day to get in sync with the local day on Taes. Time zones were an absolute bitch when it came to travel between different worlds. You just had to take a day to try and get your body in sync. I thought to myself I should probably come up with a name for this condition, like star-lag maybe?? Anywho, the next morning I got suited up in my Sunday best armor and weapons outfit and prepared to take a portal down to the surface. I packed my bag for an overnight stay and a small battle. Hopefully, I had enough clean underwear and bullets to see me through my short visit to Taes.
I entered the transport room to find most of my crew standing around waiting to ask more questions about what it was I actually had planned. To be honest, I thought I would just wing it to start out. It was Gamma that came running over to me first. I scooped my youngest daughter up in my arms and gave her a peck on the cheek.
“Are you going to fight the monsters, Papa?”
“What monsters, Gamma?”
“The ones in my dream. The big ones with the black and white spots and the ones with the dark black skin.”
I brought up the pictures of a Bayru and a Maricindi on the viewer in the room. “You have seen these beings in your dreams, Gamma?”
“Yes, Papa.”
Had the Guides been sending messages to Gamma as well? She had never described the monsters she saw in her bad dreams before. Why would they be bothering a little girl with these messages? What were the messages they were sending her anyways?
“Don’t worry, Gamma. Those monsters aren’t that scary.”
“Have you had any more of those dreams, Dad?”
“Yes, I had one the other night Maria. It was kind of strange. There appeared to be some sort of party. The Taesrins started dancing and removing their clothing. It went dark after that and I was laying in the bed with one of them grabbing me from behind. It seemed like it was a male and I sort of woke myself at that point.”
“Well don’t worry about hurting my feelings, Guerin. You just go ahead and have a good time.” Prima had a sick little smile on her face. The rest of the group in the room all had a good laugh.
“Very funny guys.”
“So what’s your plan, Captain?” Kelly cracked a little smirk. “I mean, besides getting buggered by the natives.”
Everyone had another laugh at my expense. I tried to ignore them all and answered the more serious part of Kelly’s question.
“I’m going to have Senri open a portal near one of the Taesrin villages and I’ll hoof it from there. Then I’ll introduce myself to the locals, hopefully, they’re expecting me. I’ll see if they can arrange for me to meet the Bayru and Maricindi leaders. Senri has already looked up the biological specifics of the different races down there, and if shit happens, she’ll use an immobilization field to knock out the bad guys.” I could tell that they were all in awe of my brilliant plan from their expressions. I just shrugged my shoulders and signaled Senri to open a transit portal.
Chapter 33
Taes
I ended up in a wooded area a few miles outside of one of the main Taesrin villages. The temperature was in the mid-80s, the sky was blue, and the air was fresh and clean. It smelled a lot like I was in a pine forest back on Earth, but the trees that surrounded me looked nothing like anything I had ever seen before. I had a bit of a walk ahead of me, so I played some tunes on my comm system and started to head towards the village. I was probably a half mile from the village when I started to run into some of the locals. They were out working in the farms surrounding the village, and for the most part, they paid me very little attention. I nodded at a few of them to acknowledge their presence and a couple took off running in the direction I was heading. I guessed they were going to warn the villagers.
As I got closer to the village, a crowd started to form around me. They fell in behind me as I continued my walk. Not that I was paranoid or anything, but it did give me a bit of an uneasy feeling. At least they weren’t carrying pitchforks and torches. As I approached the first building on the edge of the village, a man exited the little hut with what appeared to be his family in tow. He approached me. I stopped where I stood and waited for him to close the distance.
He was only a foot or so in front of me when he stopped. We simply stood there and stared at each other for a few seconds. I had never actually made a first contact like this before. Sure, I had landed on other worlds where there were aliens, but those were space-faring worlds. Here I was, on a world where their only experience with ETs had not gone well for them. I wasn’t really sure where to start.
“Wassup? I’m G…”
The man in front of me finished the sentence for me. “Guerin Zand. Yes, we have been expecting you. The Guides told us you would be arriving today. I am Jrenila, leader of this family. Welcome to Casular.”
It took me a second to understand that the word ‘family’ referred to all the residents of this village, obviously called Casular. The use of the term ‘family’ seemed a bit cultish to me and sort of put me off. Oh well, when in Rome as they say.
“Ah yes, the Guides. So I will assume that you know why I’m here?”
“To remove the foreign invaders from our lands and free our people who have been taken.”
“Well, I don’t like others, even the Guides, telling me what I’m going to do. I’m just here to see why I was contacted by the Guides.”
“Of course. The Guides said you would be, well they told me there was a word for it in your language which somehow doesn’t mean what it means. It was very confusing, as messages from the Guides can often be, but they said you would be, in your language, an asshole. Is that the right word?”
“Yes, I have heard that before. Not very original though.”
“Please, you must be tired from your journey. Would you join me in my home for refreshment?”
Well, it was probably beer-thirty somewhere in the universe, so I thought why not? I followed Jrenila back to the little hut from which he had emerged earlier. It was a simple home. It was one large room with a fireplace at one end of the main room, a table and a few chairs scattered about. There appeared to be mats laid about in one area for sleeping and not much else. Obviously, they didn’t have indoor plumbing, cable TV, or internet access. The lack of cable TV and internet access didn’t bother me as much as the lack of indoor plumbing though, which reminded me, I forgot to pack toilet paper in my go bag before I left. What a rookie mistake.
Jrenila motioned me to a seat at the table and he took a seat as well. His wife, well I assumed it was his wife
since the other two females in the room appeared to be little girls, brought us two wooden cups and a clay pitcher containing some sort of beverage. She poured a little of the beverage into each of our cups.
Jrenila lifted his drink and nodded in my direction. I picked up my cup and took a whiff of what was offered. It was definitely an adult beverage of some sort. It wasn’t my job to point out to them that wooden cups weren’t the most sanitary of beverage dispensers. Oh well, hopefully the beverage would kill at least the nastiest of little critters making their homes in the vessel. I was going to have to visit the medical center on the ship at some point regardless.
“The Guides tell me that the word for this type of beverage in your language is hooch? We call it Candi.”
I laughed and took a sip. “Yes, I call this type of beverage candy too”, I thought to myself. He was right though. Whatever it was, I would definitely classify it as good old-fashioned hooch. It had to be over 100 proof, at a minimum. Luckily, I had trained my mutant kidneys and liver well.
I coughed a bit as the drink ripped the flesh from the back of my throat. “It’s very good.” I held my glass out for more.
Jrenila smiled as his wife refilled both of our cups. This time she filled them a little fuller having noticed that I could handle my hooch like a real man.
“The Guides have told us that you have been informed of our situation.” Jrenila took a small sip from his cup. “The Bayru and Maricindi have both invaded our lands. The Maricindi, have for the most part, left us to ourselves. The Bayru, however, have taken some of our people to work on their homes. They did not ask for our help, they simply took some of our young men and women from several of our families. They have weapons we don’t understand, and when some of the families resisted, several were killed. The Guides have told us not to resist anymore. They would send someone to help, they would send you, Guerin Zand.”
“Please, call me Guerin.”
“Very well, Guerin. You have come to help us, have you not?”
“Well, officially no. If it were known that I was even here, others would come to take me away from Taes. For those people, interfering in the affairs of other’s is strongly discouraged. I’m already in trouble for just coming here.”
“I don’t understand. The Guides have told us you would help.”
“Well, as you said, the messages from the Guides can sometimes be confusing. If I were to remove the Bayru and Maricindi from your lands, what would prevent them from returning? And if they did return, would it not put your families in even more danger for having resisted by asking for my help?”
“The Guides have told us that you would help, that is all,” Jrenila said this like it was guaranteed. I hadn’t really thought of a long-term plan to keep the two other races from returning other than putting the fear of God into them.
“Look, Jrenila. I’m not some sort of god. I’m simply a man like you. Yes, I have the power to remove the invaders, but I can’t know what will happen on your world once I’ve left, and I will have to leave. The others I spoke of will come here to remove me if I were to stay. No matter what these Guides have told you, I can’t guarantee the invaders won’t return.”
“I understand that you are not as familiar with the Guides and their messages as our families are. Their messages may confuse you more than they do us. They said you would help, but that is all they have said. Their messages are never specific, and it is up to the person receiving the message to interpret the meaning. I interpreted their message to mean that you would remove the invaders and free our people. I am the leader of my family because I have a reputation for interpreting their messages correctly, but I am not always correct.”
“You received a message. Did you not interpret that message to mean that you should journey here?”
“Yes, I guess.”
“Did their message specifically say go to Taes?”
“Well, no.”
“Then why did you come here.”
“Well, that’s kind of difficult to explain. When I received their message, I didn’t know it was a message. I thought it was a dream, but I knew it was different somehow. I went to some friends for help. I knew it was more than a dream, or it was something different from a normal dream.”
“That is true of naissarance.”
“Maybe, Jrenila, but for your families, naissarance is a common occurrence. None of the people I asked for help had any working knowledge of naissarance. After a lot of investigation, one person suggested it might be a message of some sort. She had heard of naissarance. When she confirmed that the people I saw in the dream were the Taesrin, Bayru, and Maricindi, she was convinced it was naissarance. Still, she was only guessing.”
“So, you believed this other person?”
“Not entirely, but it was the only explanation I had, so I accepted that explanation. If she was correct, we had to try and figure out what the message meant.”
“So, you interpreted the dream, as you call it?”
“Yes. I explained that in this dream it appeared the Taesrin were in trouble and needed help. She knew that the rules would not allow me to help you, but she also knew that I was not one that normally followed the rules when I did not agree with them. She believed that is why the message was sent to me.”
“I see nothing wrong in how the two of you interpreted the message. So you came here thinking we needed your help, so I assume you planned to help when you decided to journey to Taes?”
“Maybe. Like I said, we were simply guessing about all of this. I came here to see if we were right, and she wanted me to come here to learn more about the Guides.”
“You must understand, Jrenila, that these others I speak of are not like me. I am not truly one of them. The relationship between us is very complicated. To them, I am but an insolent child that they sometimes find useful. This woman didn’t ask me to come here, that would be breaking the rules. No, she gave me the idea to come here. She doesn’t care if I get in trouble with the others as long as she has the chance to learn more about the Guides.”
“You are correct. It is very complicated, but that is not unusual for things involving the Guides. Your reasons for the actions you have taken is not important to their reasoning. You coming here was what they wanted, and here you are.”
“We could argue forever, Jrenila, about what they wanted, or why I’m here. I’m just trying to explain to you, that for me, there is no divine reason for me being here. Whatever decision I make it’s simply a decision I will make, a simple man. There is just as much chance that I will make the wrong decision as there is I will make the right one.”
“You are not a man of faith? You do not believe in something greater than yourself?”
“Oh, I believe in something greater, like the law of our great god Murphy.”
“I have never heard of this Murphy.”
“Our god Murphy says, if anything can go wrong, it will. He’s never been wrong.” I started laughing as I finished my drink.
“You are making a joke, Guerin?”
“Maybe, but there is some truth to what I just said. Regardless, if you want my help you must ask for it. It has to be your decision for me to intervene.”
“Guerin, will you help us?”
“Can you arrange for me to meet with the leaders of the Bayru and the Maricindi?”
Jrenila explained that we could go to meet with the Maricindi now. They often interacted with the Taesrin. It seemed the Maricindi weren’t really bad guys at all, still their presence wasn’t welcomed. The Bayru, on the other hand, were avoided at all costs. No interaction with them ever turned out well for their people. I was going to have to find my own way of contacting the leader of the Bayru on Taes.
Jrenila and I left their village and began walking towards the Maricindi’s base. We walked for several miles until we came upon what Jrenila called the Maricindi home. It was more of an encampment or outpost.
It had become obvious to me that the Taesrin language was a bit li
mited, or some translations were a bit off. I mean, they didn’t have a word for asshole, at least not until they met me. I couldn’t help thinking to myself if this all went according to plan, the Taesrin might erect a giant statue of me in the village center. There would be a little name plaque attached with “The Asshole” written on it at the statue’s base. I could only imagine a primitive people worshipping “The Asshole” and forming some cult religion with all its members aspiring to be assholes too. Ok, I could deal with the Collective, but God might not think it was so funny. Of course who wouldn’t want to be a god, but that was the Big Guy’s gig and I needed him on my side. I made a promise to God at that point. I’d nix any false idol worship if that occurred. Still, God was probably good with a big statue of “The Asshole” in the middle of the village. I had concluded previously that God did have a sense of humor considering all I’d seen of this universe over the centuries.
The Maricindi outpost was surrounded by some sort of fence. It was not unlike our chain link design, but a little different. It was almost like a woven mesh of thick metallic threads. As we got close I reached out to touch the fence, curious about what it was made of. Jrenila slapped my hand away and shook his head.
“Pain.” Was all he said to me.
I assumed the fence was electrified, or something like that. There was no telling what other technologies an alien race would come up with. I’d seen a lot of different things over the years that I’d have never imagined before. I simply described all of these unique and original ideas using the generic term, “The Cheeseburger Paradox”.
Jrenila led me to the front gate where we stood on some sort of mat. I heard what sounded like a servo whirring and I looked up in that direction. There was a little sphere mounted up on the fence which I assumed was some sort of video device. I smiled for the camera and waved. Now the smile might have been interpreted as the sign I was a vicious and hungry predator, my teeth being barred and all, and the wave could have been the equivalent of the middle finger to them. First contacts were always a crapshoot.
