by Guerin Zand
“Nice outfit by the way. Looks a lot like what you were wearing when I first met you in the woods walking your dog. The only thing missing is that 45 of yours.”
“I thought the 45 might be a bit much for the occasion. Who are you to be making comments on my fashion sense anyways, little Ms Onesie?”
Milly just shrugged as she took back the flask and had herself a nice drink.
“You getting serious about your drinking, Milly? I mean, carrying around your own personal supply now, are you?”
“Well, I need it since I have to deal with your bullshit full time now.” She took another fairly large swig from the flask. “Do you want to have sex? I have a few seconds to spare?”
“Very funny. Obviously, it was the best five seconds of your life since you can’t seem to get it out of your mind.”
“One and a half seconds, Guerin.”
“Oh please. I think you're understating the facts. One and a half seconds isn’t even enough time to sneeze.”
“Well, obviously it was long enough for you.”
I grabbed the flask and took another sip as I rolled my eyes. “Well anyways, I can’t. I’m a married man now, twice over in fact.”
“Ah yes, your new wife Scirla. I spent some time with her yesterday. She’s a very sweet young lady. I wonder how long that will last?”
“You spent time with her?”
“Well, yes. Since this is the first time we’ve had all the Guild members together in a while, we thought we’d hold a meeting and initiate the latest members, Scirla and Gamma.”
“The Guild?”
“You remember, Guerin, the Universal Guild of Women Bent on Destroying Guerin Zand.”
“Oh, that Guild.”
“So, what are your plans for Scirla?”
“Well, I don’t know. I think she wants to stay with me, at least for now. Something about one of the Guides messages.”
“What do you mean, for now?”
“Well, she doesn’t really have a clue about the universe. Her people don’t even have a formal understanding of mathematics. Yes, they can count and have a basic understanding of numbers, but it’s not enough to even start trying to explain simple physics.”
“Who’s acting all superior now, Guerin? From our point of view, she’s not that far behind you Terrans.”
“Very funny, but that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’ve got to figure out where to even start with her. Maybe you could help?”
“Oh, now you need my help?”
“Don’t be like that, Milly. If you don’t want to help, then fine. You don’t have to be such an asshole about it.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll help if I can. Have you thought about offering her the procedure that we performed on you? They are pretty much human, so that should be possible. It would help if we could download the knowledge directly.”
“No. See, that’s part of the problem. She couldn’t possibly understand what that would mean. I’d like her to get to a point first where she could make that decision for herself.”
“Ok, but are you planning on keeping her as your wife?”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”
“You didn’t have to sleep with her, Guerin.”
“They told you about that?”
“Yes.”
“Then Prima and Maria must have also told you that they made me do it, right?”
Milly burst out laughing and grabbed the flask for another drink. “Yea, but I don’t think they forced you.”
“You know me, Milly. You know I don’t feel right about any of this.”
“But I thought Guerin Zand always did what he thought was right? Where’s that dedication to your principals you’re so famous for?”
“Now you’re just making fun of me. It’s kind of complicated you know?”
“Really?”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you, Milly?”
“Oh yes, definitely.”
“Ok, so I’m a bad man. But on the list of the wrong things I’ve done in my life, this probably isn’t even close to the top ten. Besides, I don’t think she’ll stay with me.”
“Why not?”
“Well, that’s why I want her to learn. I think once she understands what’s really going on she’ll leave me to find her own way.”
“What are you not saying, Guerin?”
“Nothing. I’m telling you what I know, but I have a feeling this is just another one of those situations.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This whole thing is just another setup I walked into.”
“You think we set this whole thing up?”
“No, well maybe. I don’t think it was the Collective, although a few of you might have had a clue and didn’t bother telling me. I think maybe that this time it was the Guides. They arranged this little marriage, and they picked her for a reason. As usual, I don’t have a fucking clue why, but I think they have plans for her. I think me, and this marriage, are just a means to an end.”
“Well, as you so clearly stated during your questioning, we aliens do tend to use sex to get you to do our bidding.”
“Don’t tell me you’re pissed about that.”
“Oh no, Guerin. You just basically called me the biggest space slut in history. Why should that bother me?”
“I didn’t call you the biggest space slut in history. Besides, we all know that would be Julie.” Milly gave me a rather unfriendly look for insulting her mother like that. “You’re more like an evil succubus or a femme fatale.”
“Oh, in that case, I feel so much better. You really are an asshole, you know that?”
I grabbed the flask and took another drink. I gave her my famous bad boy look and waggled my eyebrows.
“So anyways, when are they going to reach a decision? I’m getting kind of hungry.”
“They already have, that’s why I’m here.”
“Well, are you planning on telling me what their decision was?”
“That’s why I offered to have sex with you. You’re always so much easier to manipulate afterward, right?” She gave me a dirty little grin as she grabbed the flask for another drink.
Chapter 37
The Little Dragon Slayer
Maria was outside of the auditorium waiting for me. “So how did it go, Dad?”
“Seriously, Maria? Do you even have to ask?”
“That bad?”
“Worse!”
“So what? Are they exiling you?”
“No.”
“Taking the Ryvius back?”
“No.”
“Then what? I mean, what could be worse than exile, or losing your starship?”
“They put me in charge of the Taes system development project. They’re going to make me pump out schedules, org charts, PowerPoint presentations, progress reports, form a committee, go to meetings, you name it. They are going to bury me alive in paperwork and bureaucracy for the next few thousand years! Death by a skizillion paper cuts.”
Maria couldn’t hold back her laughter.
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!”
“Dad, they don’t even use paper for any of that.”
“They’re bringing paper back, just to piss me off!”
“You should be proud. You complained that they weren’t treating us as equals and that is exactly what they’re doing, right? They’re acknowledging you were right and rewarding you. You’re one of them now. You know, this is how Julie got started with the Earth project.”
“Sure, I want them to look at us as equals, but that doesn’t mean I want to be one of them. And I sure as hell don’t like being compared to Julie. I’m the guy that sticks it to the Man. I can’t stick it to the Man, if I’m the Man.”
Maria snickered. “You could try.”
“Oh, very funny. Besides, the whole thing sounds a little too much like a J.O.B. to me. You know what happens when I accept one of their job offers. Why can’t you ever take my side on these things, Maria? Why d
o you always have to side with them?”
“I don’t always side with them. I’m proud of you, Dad. I always have been. When I was a little girl, I asked Mom what you did when you were away from home. She told me a little story, a private story, that we kept to ourselves and never shared it with you. She said we had to keep it to ourselves because she didn’t want your head to get any bigger than it was. ‘We don’t want your father’s head to explode now, do we?’ she would say.”
“This is supposed to cheer me up somehow?”
“Well, if you don’t interrupt, I’ll tell you the story.”
“Fine. I’m all ears.” Maria led me to a nearby bench and we both took a seat.
“A long, long time ago, in the days of feudal Japan, the days of shoguns, warlords, and samurai, there was a little boy. This little boy lived on a mountain with his family. They were simple farmers who grew rice, potatoes, and other crops to feed themselves. They would fish the mountain streams and hunt the forest for their daily meals. They lived this way so they wouldn’t be under the control of the local warlord and his armies that ruled the village below.”
“One day, the family was out gathering fruit that grew wild on top of the mountain when a dragon appeared and attacked the little boy’s family. He was larger than anything the little boy had ever seen, standing almost twenty feet high. He could fly, and breathe fire, as most dragons do, and he was angry this family had trespassed on his mountain. The little boy’s father told him to run down to the village to safety, and he obeyed his father. As he ran away, he turned back to see the dragon kill his parents.”
“The little boy made it to the village and would tell anyone who would listen that a giant dragon had killed his parents. He went from person to person telling his story of the dragon, warning all the dragon would come for them too. They all laughed at the little boy. ‘There are no dragons.’ That’s what everyone told him. The called him a silly boy and pushed him away.
He found a few of the local samurai at an inn drinking sake. He admired the brave samurai and he was sure they would help. ‘You must help me kill the dragon on the mountain. He has killed my parents and he will kill us all if we don’t stop him.’”
“‘There are no dragons, silly boy. Go, and leave us alone.’”
“The little boy was infuriated at the samurai. ‘You are not Samurai. You are cowards. I am not afraid. I will kill the dragon myself!’”
“The samurai took offense to this little boy calling them cowards. They struck and kicked the boy out into the street. They all laughed and went back inside the inn to their drinking.”
“The little boy left the village and went back to his home in the mountains. When he arrived, he found his family home burned to the ground. The fields where they had grown crops were still smoldering. The dragon had been there. The little boy could not stay there, it wasn’t safe, so he went back down to the village. He would do odd jobs, cleaning up stalls, hauling water, whatever he could do for the little food he required.”
“At night time he started to work on a suit of armor. He would watch the samurai training and he paid attention to their different outfits. He used what he saw to design his own. He used scraps of leather and sticks to make his suit of armor and he would wear it around the town. The villagers just laughed at the little boy, the ‘Little Dragon Slayer’, as they called him. He didn’t care though. He was going back to the mountain one day and he’d take his home back from the dragon. He’d show them all.”
“He found an old sword, actually it was just an old rusty wakizashi, in a blacksmith’s waste pile, but to the little boy, it was a giant sword. He polished the sword and sharpened the edge as he had learned from watching the blacksmith. He often helped the blacksmith with his work. He was one of the boy’s few friends. The blacksmith felt sorry for the little orphan boy and would often provide him meals, leftovers from his family’s table. He helped the little boy make a scabbard for his sword and found a giant tortoise shell for him to use as a shield. The blacksmith saw no harm in playing along with the boy. The little boy’s spirit had impressed the blacksmith and he thought it cruel to break that spirit.”
“Finally the day came. The little boy had finished his armor, sword, and shield. It was time to reclaim his home from the dragon. He walked down the main street of the village in his samurai armor with his shield in one hand and his sword in the other. The villagers laughed at him. They called him an idiot and a stupid little boy. The other children threw rocks at him as he marched down the street. The little boy ignored them all as he walked proudly down that street with his head held high.”
“He walked past where his family’s home had been, now just a black spot on the side of the mountain. He continued on to the top of the mountain where he sat for several days eating the fruit he picked, daring the dragon to make an appearance. On the eighth day, the dragon appeared, and the little boy stood up to challenge him.”
“‘You killed my parents, burnt our home and our crops. I am here to make you pay for your actions, Mr. Dragon!’”
“The dragon simply laughed at the boy and said, ‘Your parents and your crops made a fine meal boy. I would have enjoyed you for dessert if you had not run away.’”
“The little boy was furious. ‘I did not run away. My father sent me to the village. Now I am here to kill you, and perhaps I will have you for my dinner.’”
“The dragon’s laughter turned into a roar. Still, the little boy stood his ground with his sword held high, ready to strike the dragon. ‘You are hardly worth the effort little boy. Run back to your village and I’ll let you live.’”
“The little boy had no intention of running back to the village. Instead, he charged the dragon and drove his sword into one of the dragon’s rear talons as hard as he could. The dragon let out a howl. He flicked the injured talon, trying to dislodge the boy’s sword, and he threw the little boy back several yards in the air. The little boy’s sword stayed lodged in the dragon’s talon.”
“The dragon reared back and unleashed his fiery breath at the little boy. The boy ducked behind the giant tortoise shell shield and the flames from the dragon parted around him. When the dragon had reached the end of his breath and inhaled, the little boy stood back up. He taunted the dragon. ‘You’ll have to do better than that, Mr. Dragon.’ The boy was brave, but not unharmed. The tips of his hair were smoldering and the arm he held the shield on was seriously burned. The dragon looked down at the boy in surprise.”
“‘You are a brave little boy, but it would be unfair for me to kill such a small child. Come back when you have grown into a man and we shall do battle.’ With that, the dragon turned around and smacked the little boy with his tail, knocking the little boy halfway down the mountain.”
“The little boy walked back down to the village. This time, when the villagers saw the charred exterior on the boy’s shield, and the cuts and bruises, they did not laugh. They whispered amongst themselves. They were no longer amused by the boy, no, now they were afraid. Was there really a dragon on the mountain? The boy made his way back to the blacksmith’s shop. The blacksmith’s mouth dropped open in awe. He could see the boy had suffered grave injuries on the mountain, but still, he could not believe there was a dragon there. The boy’s head was held high, and he did not complain about the pain he must obviously have felt.”
“The blacksmith asked, ‘Did you slay your dragon, boy?’ The little boy’s head dropped. ‘No. The dragon was too big, and my sword was too small. He knocked me down the mountain and said I should come back when I’ve grown into a man. I need a new sword, blacksmith.’”
“Once again, the blacksmith could not ignore the young boy’s spirit. ‘You will need a special sword to defeat a dragon, boy. I will make you my apprentice and I will teach you to make such a sword. It will take many years of hard work if you agree.’”
“The little boy agreed to the blacksmith’s offer and the blacksmith took him home. His wife tended to the boy’s wounds and they f
ed the little boy. They made room in their small house where the little boy could sleep. The blacksmith and his wife had no children of their own. Having a little boy to care for made his wife very happy.”
“The rest of the town was concerned by the appearance of the boy. Was there a dragon, or had this little boy angered the gods that lived on the mountain? The samurai questioned the boy to learn where they could find the dragon. The little boy explained and warned them that only he could kill the dragon.”
“The samurai made their way to the top of the mountain. They noticed the boy’s old house and farm where still nothing grew in the scorched land. When they reached the top of the mountain, they saw the area where the dragon’s breath had scorched the ground around where the little boy hid behind his shield. An area, tens of yards around, was scorched black with a small circle in the center that was untouched by the flames. The samurai looked at each other in disbelief. Had the little boy been telling them the truth? They looked all around the top of the mountain but saw no sign of a dragon. They did find the little boy’s wakizashi. It was lying on the ground and covered in blood. When one of the samurai reached for the wakizashi they heard a deafening roar that startled them. They all jumped back into their fighting stance. They looked around, yet they saw nothing. The one samurai bent down again to reach for the boy’s wakizashi, and again the mountain roared.”
“The samurai returned to the village, without the little boy’s sword. They spoke to no one about what had happened. They simply said that they had found no dragon. The whole town had heard the roar of the mountain though, and it brought fear to their hearts. The little boy argued with the samurai and said he would lead them to the dragon the next day.”
“The next morning the little boy led the samurai to the top of the mountain. He gathered the dragon’s fruit before taking a seat on a boulder to enjoy his meal. The samurai asked the boy where the dragon was. The little boy explained that they would have to wait. He would come. They spent several nights on the mountain waiting for the dragon.”
