by Eden Rose
I must be a messed up person because I didn't even feel a tiny bit of sadness to a death. That man was a nightmare and after everything that I have been through because of him, I was glad they are dead. Another man was sprawled out on the floor with his face smashed in. I looked closely to see if I knew who it was, but I didn't.
A very sick feeling flooded through me when the smell of blood invaded my nostrils. That metallic smell is impossible to avoid and my stomach heaved. I pushed away from the guys and proceeded to empty my bowels all over the floor once more. How do I even have anything left in there?
Once I was done, I noticed a pair of hands on my shoulders. "Savannah, let's get you home," Vincent said as he tried to lead me out of the door.
I felt like screaming. Screaming from pain, hurt and anger. Betrayed by two men who have vowed to love me. I didn't scream, however I severely wanted to yell. "Home? What is home?" My voice started to raise as I realized that I didn't have a home anymore. So much for keeping my calm. "My first home was filled with hate and pain, my second is now a murder scene, you threw me out of ours and now I was living with my ex-husband who has tried to have sex with me numerous times." During my tirade, a set of arms wrapped themselves around me.
I am wondering if there is a possible way for me to get back into my old apartment. Surely, everything has been taken care of, right? Last thing I heard about it was the furniture was left and people came to clean everything.
Sometimes things are so complicated that it is hard to know which way was up. I just got the shit beat out of me and now my ex-boyfriend is so close to me that I could smell him. His cologne filled my nose and despite everything that has happened today, I would love for him to pick me up by the waist and make love to me against the wall. Wow, I am insane.
Vincent's breathing got heavier as he pulled me away from him. His eyes were red and when he spoke, his accent was so thick that it was hard to understand him. "I am going to put your other stuff in the car," he left me standing there with Ronnie.
As I gained my balance, I let out a few deep breaths in an act to calm my thundering heart. "Ronnie, can I see your phone?" He handed it over to me and I immediately opened Google to look up airports. I called the one that is the closest to me. "Hello, what flights have a vacancy for tonight?" I asked the woman who answered.
I don't consider what I am doing as running away. I needed some time to get my life back in order. Leaving New York would help that. With this state left behind, I am hoping that I can cleanse my mind and body of everything.
Come back fresh.
A bored voice answered the phone: "Chicago leaves in an hour, North Carolina in two and Toronto in three hours. Which city were you specifically looking for?"
Ronnie ran out the door as I was walking towards it. As he came back, Vincent was in tow. "Chicago please." I only picked it because it departs in such a quick time. The quicker I leave, the better. Specifically, the sooner I leave out of this room, the better.
"How many tickets are you wanting?" I heard the click of her nails hitting the keys.
I felt the heat of his body against my back and I slowly turned to face him. Vincent took the phone from my hand gently and tenderly to not hit any of my bruises; even though the touch was faint my body felt like it woke up. "Two." He waited a beat and he is now staring me down. I know that he would never do anything to hurt me but his stare was so intense and unloving. The stare down made me tingle and shiver along with making my insides clench. "Yes, make the seats available for Vincent Moretti. Let me know when you are ready for my card." Another beat and he rattled off his card number. As he hung up and handed the phone back to Ronnie, he looked at me. I fought back tears. He is so beautiful. "Are you leaving me?" He looked down and then caught my glare.
I wanted to say something mean to him. Technically, we weren't together anymore. He broke up with me. I can't leave someone that I am not with. After staring at his face and seeing the immense amount of pain in his eyes, I knew that I was still in love with him. Secretly, I wanted a white knight and damsel in distress fantasy and maybe this could be a granted fantasy. I would love for Vincent to carry me out of here and take me some place magical.
But wait! I am still mad at him. Yes, I understand why he did what he did but it still hurts. Like really bad.
With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to think of a way to get out of this with some dignity attached. I wanted to get down on my knees and beg him to never leave me again. I want those promises of forever and kisses that don't end, but he dumped me. He is capable of leaving me and there is no way that I will survive it again. I don't have it in me but I also don't have never seeing him again in me. "No, I am not. I don't feel safe here," I waved my hand to signify New York. "I want to go some place where I don't have to look over my shoulder. I miss what it feels like to be safe." I started to cry harder which is something that I didn't think were possible.
Two sets of arms were wrapped around me and walking me out of the room. My body felt numb but at the same time, I'm well aware of the bruises that were forming. Both men held me close in between them with my head in between their chests. I breathed in both of their scents which felt like home to me.
We got into the parking garage and I felt a body move away and the other body held me closer to him. I would know this body from anywhere. "When was the last time you felt safe?" Ronnie asked quietly.
Lying is beneath me and I felt the need to tell the truth. I want Vincent to know what he meant to me before and the agony of what I felt as I left his house with Joel. "That morning before Joel came to get me," I whispered. I knew that Vincent felt awful for everything and I didn't mean to rub too much salt in his gashes.
The floor felt as if it were about to fall out from under me while I waited for Vincent to say anything. "Savannah, please let me come with you," Vincent begged while squeezing me. It was as if time stood still for Vincent and I to figure out what we are supposed to do. Am I wrong for wanting him to pick me up and confess his love for me?
I owed it to myself to get out of here. Maybe with time, Vincent and I could get back together. I need Anne, she is the voice of reason and will know what to do. "Okay." I shook myself out of my hug with Vincent to address my best friend's husband. "Ronnie, please tell Anne that I will call her in a few days. Thank you for everything," I said as he came in for a hug. "Ow, not so hard," he squeezed my ribs too tightly. I looked at Vincent and I seen the hurt and pain that he felt. I felt it too.
"How long are you going to be gone for?" Ronnie asked as he rubbed my cheek. His other hand was holding on to my arm as a comforting gesture, I am sure but it still made my insides flip. He was trying to be nice to me but I couldn't get over this overwhelming sensation that it was beyond time for me to leave.
"A few days. I need to be away from the city and away from these little battles," with a wave of my hand and a wiggle so I could be able to stand by myself, I turned to face the man who has shook my world. "Vincent, are you sure you can be gone for that many days?" I knew that my clients would be okay with Anne and I also knew that if I didn't leave I would go insane.
Like leave right now.
My schedule would keep, but I didn't know about his. Hell, I still didn't know what it is that he does all day. Does he even have an actual office? "Of course. Let's go to the airport," he finally reaches out and puts his hand on my back. I fought the urge to either run from the touch or to fall into it. I stayed where I was. "I put your suitcase in the car. Are you wanting to change before?"
I stopped where I was walking and turned to look at him. Those liquid brown eyes could burn a village down. He was so beautiful and I knew in that moment that I forgave him. "I don't want to bring any of it. I just want my sunglasses." My luggage is literally baggage that I would be carrying around with me. I didn't need the reminder that my whole life is in those suitcases and that I have no where to go... at least not yet.
All three of us walked into the parking garage and I
cringed as we walked past Millstone's car. "Vincent, may I use your phone?" He held mine out to me but I threw it against the alley way's wall. I am not in the mood nor the position to make mistakes and the tracking devices that are in phones... that is like putting a target on my back. Well more of a one. "I asked to use your phone." He handed me his and we kept walking towards the Bentley. Ronnie left us and gave me another hug before he departed.
"Please give the man another chance. You make him such a better person. He honestly was lost these past weeks without you here," he said into my ear as he held me. Only a small part of my selfish heart felt guilty that Vincent suffered but it was comforting to know that he felt the same way about me.
"I am trying," I whispered as I hugged him back. There is no way that I am going to tell him that my self control is all over the place due to my nerves being shattered. I am liable to demand sex in order to have my mind taken off what just happened. "Tell Anne that I love her and that I am okay." Anne will be fine because she has her husband but I do miss her and wish that she was coming with me instead of Vincent.
A clearing of a throat woke my tired brain. "Okay, okay. Enough of the hugs, Rossi, I haven't even got to hold her that much," Vincent slapped Ronnie's arm away from me. "Go away!" He slipped his arm around me and lead me to his car. I wonder if he could tell that I tensed up when he touched me.
Ronnie apparently wasn't done tormenting Vincent because we heard him still talking after we made it to the car. "Well you should have thought of that before this all happened," Ronnie then turned and left us standing in front of my opened door to the passenger side. Good for Ronnie!
"Baby doll, I am so sorry. I will do anything to make you feel safe and want to be with me again." As we sat in the car and drove off, he handed me something while I was looking for hotels. I opened my hand and realized that my engagement ring and bracelet were in my hands again. I looked up at him and tried to not cry. "Please, when you are ready or if you want to... I would love it if you wear these or... um, kept them at least," his voice cracked.
"Thank you but..." I wanted to know why he gave me my ring back. What the symbolism behind it was.
"There isn't any pressure, but it is inevitable." the car ripped down the highway and I held the jewelry in my hands questioning all of this. "You have completely bewitched me. I would be honored if you took me back in your life."
I didn't reply to that but I did manage to call a hotel.
"Hello, thank you for calling..." the clerk said as I cut him off.
"Hi, do you have anything vacant for tonight?" I am hoping he says that he has a double available so Vincent and I can sleep in different beds. Distance is crucial for my surviving this trip and if we share a bed... let's just say that I will get too comfortable with him and allow thoughts of happily-ever-after with him.
"Yea, we have a spa room and a king sized room available."
I put my hand over the talking part of the phone asked Vincent what he wanted. "Spa please. We will be there in the morning. Please hold it over."
Chapter Two
We rushed into the airport and I secured my sunglasses on my face. Everyone was staring at us. Here we are dressed in black tie and are flying out with out any luggage I could just imagine what these people are thinking.
Did we look like drug dealers?
We aren't drug dealers, but we did just commit a murder.
I put my hand in Vincent's and he squeezed it because at this point I needed to be comforted. I am pretty sure that Vincent understood that I needed love right now and not all of this confusion that will take place once reality strikes home. "Thank you," he whispered and pulled me closer to him. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world, I love you."
I wanted to tell him that those were just words but I bit my tongue and let that slide. I didn't want to hear that he loved me. Really, I am not sure what I wanted him to say me. Maybe I wanted him to ask me to go back to the way it was. I used to listen to this song all of the time a few years ago, and the lyrics just spoke to me and rang true. "Words are only words, can you show me something else?"
I need that song to be playing right now. Rob Thomas' voice and those words are so true. I don't want to be lonely anymore and I want him to try. I want to try.
When we went through security, I had to take my glasses off. I felt so nervous because I could only imagine what these people think. They probably think I am a statistic who just got beat by the guy standing next to me. Little do they know, Vincent is dangerous but I don't think he would do this. I knew people were staring at my face and I want to yell at them to quit.
"Yikes," the security guard said as he caught a glimpse of my swollen face. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I watched in horror how the guy tried to get a better look at me. I know its shocking and terrifying, but he didn't need to draw more attention to me.
Vincent's body language changed and I knew he is already mad at everything that deals with this situation. I hope for the security guard, he keeps his mouth shut. "Excuse me, asshole? She is the most beautiful woman in the world." The guard handed me back my ticket and I slid my glasses back on while I led us away from the area. Vincent took my hand and I squeezed back but I still kept my head down. "Baby, you are absolutely beautiful. I could kill him for saying that." I cringed as he said that sentence only because I knew how true of a statement it is.
We took two seats in front of the entrance to the gate since we got there late and there weren't a lot of people waiting. Since we got there so late, we didn't have to wait too long to board because as soon as we got comfortable they were calling our flight.
Vincent gave me the window seat and he sat next to me. We didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. This man has captivated my heart but yet broke it and now wants me back. So confusing. His body heat surrounded me and his manly musk invaded my nose causing me to relax further.
The remaining six people arrived in the first class section and I kept my glasses on. I laid my head on the head rest and let my eyes close. The plane pushed back and I started to fall asleep as the emotions of tonight worked through me. My slumber got more intense as the plane took off in the air.
There is no telling how long my nap was, but when I woke up, Vincent was holding my arms and people were huddled around. "What? Why is everyone looking at me?" I ask as I push my sun glasses back on. Oh, God! They probably think I am a nut case. Great, just great. I honestly don't think I can face anymore humiliation tonight.
Dear ground, please open and swallow me now.
Vincent held my face in his hands and his thumbs were rubbing circles under my eyes. He looked tormented, horrified as if he witnessed something awful. "You were having a nightmare. You kept saying, 'Millstone, stop!' And then you were begging for him to quit pulling your underwear down." When he got down to the last two words, his voice broke off.
Now it all comes back to me. I was hoping everything was just a horrible nightmare. Night terror, actually. "So, all of that really happened? Everything really happened? We are broke up but traveling together... This is surreal." Why can't this just be a dream?
Vincent let go of his hold and sat back in his chair. "I am so sorry. Everything is my fault," he whispered as the other guests left to go back to their seats.
I want to be able to yell and scream over the agony that he caused me. He deserved to hear all of the choice words that I would let loose given the chance to do so. Despite all of that, I couldn't do it because I knew whatever punishment I could inflict on him, he was punishing himself. I couldn't bear to see the pain since it is only a reflection of my own pain. "I know that you are sorry. I am sorry that you had to make that decision." I waited a few minutes before speaking again. "You know, I would have done everything I could to have stayed with you because you were home to me. I didn't really want to leave with Joel. That night was the worst night of my life. I honestly believed that you didn't love me. You took my ring from me while I was sleeping! You didn't even ask
me if this were something that I wanted." The betrayal was back and crashed through my veins as I remembered how it felt to be alone.
It was as if he knew that I needed him to hold me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. "I know. I just couldn't let anything happen to you. I felt like I was protecting you." We sat silently and then his spare hand clasped mine. His thumb made slight circles on the top of my hand. "I need you in my life. Don't leave me now. I promise that I won't ever let or make you feel that way again."
His words sounded so good and after tonight, I needed a happy ending. I will settle for a happy night. It was almost like a dream to be held by him. I wanted to stay asleep as long as possible if this is what my dreams felt like. "Tell me something," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. I will worry about the reality and forget about the fantasy world tomorrow. I needed this.
I need him to love me.
"Forever could never be long enough for me to feel like I spent enough time with you." His voice got lower and he brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. "I honestly, truly and deeply love you."
